Or fome rank Deity, whofe filthy Face
We fuitably o'er ftinking Stables place.
When he has run his length, and does begin
To steer his courfe directly for the Inn,
(Where they have watch'd, expecting him all Night)
A greafie Syrian, ere he can alight,
Prefents him Effence, while his courteous Hoft
(Well knowing nothing by good Breeding's loft)
Tags ev'ry Sentence with fome fawning Word,
Such as My King, My Prince, at leaft My Lord;
And a tight Maid, ere he for Wine can ask,
Gueffes his Meaning, and unoils the Flask.
Some (Friends to Vice) induftriously defend
These innocent Diverfions, and pretend
That I the Tricks of Youth too roughly blame,
Alledging that, when young, we did the fame..
I grant we did; yet when that Age was past,
The frolick Humour did no longer laft;
We did not cherish and indulge the Crime:
What's foul in acting, fhou'd be left in time.
'Tis true, fome faults, of course, with Childhood end,
We therefore wink at Wags when they offend,
And spare the Boy, in hopes the Man may mend.
But Lateranus (now his vig'rous Age
Shou'd prompt him for his Country to engage,
The Circuit of our Empire to extend,
And all our Lives, in Cefar's, to defend)
Mature in Riots, places his Delight
All day in plying Bumpers, and at night
Reels to the Bawds, over whofe Doors are fet
Pictures and Bills, with Here are Whores to let.
Shou'd any defperate unexpected Fate,
Summon all Heads and Hands to guard the State,
Cafar, fend quickly to fecure the 22 Port;
But where's the General? Where does he refort?
22 Oftia, the Mouth of the River Tyber,
Send to the Sutler's; there you are fure to find
The Bully match'd with Rafcals of his kind,
Quacks, Coffin-makers; Fugitives and Sailors;
Rooks, Common-Soldiers, Hangmen, Thieves and Tailors;
With Cbyele's Priests, who, weary'd with Proceffions,
Drink there, and fleep with Knaves of all Profeffions,
A Friendly Gang! each equal to the best;
And all, who can, have liberty to jeft:
One Flaggon walks the round, (that none fhou'd think
They either change, or ftint him of his Drink)
And left Exceptions may for Place be found,
Their Stools are all alike, their Table round.
What think you, Ponticus, your felf might do,
Shou'd any Slave, fo lewd, belong to you?
No doubt, you'd fend the Rogue in Fetters bound
To work in Bridewell, or to Plough your Ground:
But, Nobles, you who trace your Birth from Troy,
Think, you the great Prerogative enjoy
Of doing Ill, by vertue of that Race;
As if what we efteem in Coblers base,
Wou'd the high Family of Brutus grace.
Shameful are thefe Examples, yet we find
(To Rome's Difgrace) far worse than these behind:
Poor Damafippus, whom we once have known
Flutt'ring with Coach and fix about the Town,
Is forc'd to make the Stage his laft Retreat,
And Pawns his Voice, the All he has, for Meat;
For now he muft (fince his Eftate is loft)
Or reprefent, or be himself, a Ghoft:
And Lentulus Acts Hanging with fuch Art,
Were I a Judge, he fhou'd not Feign the Part.
Nor wou'd I their vile Infolence acquit,
Who can with Patience, nay Diverfion, fit,
Applauding my Lord's Buffoonry for Wit,
And clapping Farces acted by the Court,
While the Peers Cuff, to make the Rabble fport:
Or Hirelings, at a Prize, their Fortunes try;
Certain to fall unpity'd if they Dye;
Since none can have the favourable Thought
That to Obey a Tyrant's Will they Fought,
But that their Lives they willingly expose,
Bought by the Prætors to adorn their Shows,
Yet fay the Stage and Lifts were both in fight,
And you must either chufe to Act, or Fight;
Death never fure bears fuch a ghastly Shape,
That a rank Coward bafely wou'd escape
By playing a foul Harlot's jealous Tool,
Or a feign'd Andrew to a real Fool.
Yet a Peer Actor is no Monstrous thing,
Since Rome has own'd a 23 Fidler for a King:
After fuch Pranks, the World it felf at best
May be Imagin'd nothing but a Jeft.
Go 24 to the Lifts where Feats of Arms are shown,
There you'll find Gracchus, (from Patrician,) grown
A Fencer and the Scandal of the Town.
23 Meaning Nero, whom he cenfures severely in the Pages following, Fig. 33.
right Hand a Javelin foik'd like a Trident, call'd Fuscina; and on his left Arm a Net, in which he endeavour'd to catch his Adversary, and from hence was call'd Retiarius. The mean
24 This Period is perplext, and I fear will not be underfood in our Language, being only a Description of the Ro-ing of the Poet is, to reprehend man Gladiators, who were of Gracchus (whom he had before two forts, and had different rebuked in the second Satyr) Names according to the Arms for three Vices at once: For and Habit they appear'd with; his Baseness, forafmuch as beone fought with a Cymiter in ing a Nobleman he will conhis right Hand, a Target on defcend to fight upon the pubkis left Arm, and an Helmet |lick Theatre: For his Impuon his Head; he was call'd dence, in not chufing an Habit Mirmille, or Secutor. The o- which might have kept him ther wore a fhort Coat without difguis'd, and hindred him Sleeves, call'd Tunica; a Hat from being known: And for on his Head, he carried in his his Cowardife in running away.
Nor will he the Mirmillo's Weapons bear,
The Modeft Helmet he Difdains to wear;
As Retiarius he Attacks his Foe:
First waves his Trident ready for the throw,
Next cafts his Net, but neither levell'd right,
He stares about expos'd to publick fight,
Then places all his Safety in his Flight.
Room for the Noble Gladiator! See
His Coat and Hatband fhew his Quality;
Thus when at laft the brave Mirmillo knew
'Twas Gracchus was the Wretch he did pursue,
To Conquer fuch a Coward griev'd him more,
Than if he many Glorious Wounds had bore.
Had 25 we the freedom to exprefs our Mind,
There's not a Wretch fo much to Vice inclin'd
But will own
26 Seneca did far excell
His Pupil, by whofe Tyranny he fell:
25 For the clearer under- Knowledge of the Confpiracy ftanding of what follows, it which Pifo was carrying on may be neceffaryto give a fhort against his Perfon, Nere Abridgment of Nero's Cruel- laid hold on this Opportunity ties, Follies and End: Which to rid himfelf of the unealy may be found at large in his Cenfürer of his Vices, yet alLife, written by Suetonius and low'd him the Liberty of chuTacitus, and in the Continua-fing the Manner of his Death. tion which Mr. Saville has ad- Senecaw as apprehenfive of Pain, ded to his Tranflation of the and therefore defir'd to have laft of these Authors, by way his Veins open'd, which he of Supplement to what is want- judg'd might be the most easy ing betwixt the Annals and the and pleafant Method of DyHiftory. But I fhall only re- [ing; but finding it too tedious, late what I find mention'd in he prevail'd with his Friend this Satyr, and fhall begin with and Phyficián, Anneus Statiùs, his Parricides. to give him a Draught of Poyfon, which too operating very flowly, by reason his Veins
26 Upon Sufpicion that Sehis Tutor had fome
To expiate whofe Complicated Guilt,
With fome Proportion to the Blood he spilt,
Rome 27 fhou'd more Serpents, Apes, and Sacks provide
Than one, for the Compendious Parricide.
'Tis true 28 Oreftes a like Crime did act;
Yet weigh the Cause, there's difference in the Fact:
were exhausted, and his Limbs | help of Egyftheus, at his first
chill'd, the Standers-by, to Reception, and before he could
make quicker Dispatch, fmo- fufpect fuch an Attempt. The
ther'd him with the Steem of manner how they dispatch'd
an hot Bath. Juvenal not un-him, is reported differently.
juftly places this Murder of Some Authors relate, that as
Seneca among Nero's Parricides, he was changing his Linnen,
Lince a Tutor ought to be e- he was ftifled in a Shirt fow'd
feem'd as a Civil Parent. together at the Neck. But Ho-
27 This bold Thought and mer in the 4th and 11th Books
Expreffion of Juvenal is groun-of his Odyssey, where he de-
ded on the Roman Laws, where- fcribes this Murder, is of Ju-
by Parricides were condemn'd venal's Opinion, that he was
to be fow'd up in a Bag (call'd kill'd at a Banquet, when he
Culeus) with a Cock, a Mon- little expected fuch Treatment.
key, a Serpent and a Dog, and Egyfthens after this Murder
thrown together into the Sea, married Clytemnestra, and U-
or any Neighbouring River. furp'd the Kingdom of Mycena,
This Punishment of drowning 7 Years: During which time
in a Sack is ftill us'd in feveral Oreftes grew up to Man'sEftate,
Parts of Germany, but without and by the inftigation of his
'the Company of those Crea- Sifter Electra, and the Affift-
tures above mention'd. ance of fome Neighbouring
28 The Story of Oreftes (be- Princes, march'd from Athens,
twixt whom and Nere, Juvenal Deftroy'd and Murther'd the
wou'd draw a Parallel) is this; Ufurper; and at laft, under
his Mother Clytemnestra finding pretence of being Mad, stabb'd
her Husband Agamemnon was his Mother. Homer (as well
return'd alive from the Siege as our Author) juftifies this
of Troy, and fearing he might Revenge, as being undertaken
Revenge her Amours with E-by the Advice of the Gods:
gyftheus, with whom he had And Paterculus infers, they
lived in Adultery during her muft needs have approved the
Husband'sAbfence,the thought Action, fince Oreftes (after it)
the safest way might be to Af-lived long, and reigned hap-
faffinate Agamemnon, by the pily. G
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