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Away with all your Carthaginian State,
Let vanquish'd Hannibal without-doors wait,
Too byrly and too big to pass my narrow Gate.
12 Pean, cries Amphion, bend thy Bow Against my Wife, and let
But fullen Paan shoots at Sons and Mothers too.
His Niobe and all his Boys he loft;
Ev'n her, who did her num'rous Offspring boast,
As fair and fruitful as the Sow that carry'd
The 13 thirty Pigs at one large Litter farrow'd.
What Beauty or what Chastity can bear
So great a Price, if stately and severe
She still insults, and you must fill adore;
Grant that the Honey's much, the Gall is more.
Upbraided with the Virtues she displays,
Seven Hours in twelve, you loath the Wife you praise:
Some Faults, tho' (mall, intolerable grow;
For what so nauseous and affected too,
As those that think they due Perfection want,
Who have not learnt to Lisp the 14 Grecian Cant?
In Greece, their whole Accomplishments they seek:
Their Fashion, Breeding, Language, must be Greek:
But raw, in all that does to Rome belong,
They scorn to cultivate their Mother-Tongue.
In Greek they flatter, all their Fears they speak,
Tell all their Secrets ; nay, they fcold in Greek:
Ev’n in the Feat of Love, they use that Tongue.
Such Affectations may become thc Young;
But thou, old Hag, of Threescore Years and Three,
Is shewing of thy Parts in Greek for thee?
12 He alludes to the known pollo's Mother. Fable of Niobe in Ovid.
13 He alludes to the white phion was her Husband : Paan Sow in Virgil, who farrow'd is Apollo, who with his Ar- thirty Pigs. rows kill'd her Children, be 14 Women then learntGreek, cause the boafted that she was as ours speak French. more fruitful than Latona, A
Zasi xij fuxü! All those tender Words
The momentary trembling Bliss affords,
The kind soft Murmurs of the private Sheets
Are Bawdy, while thou speak'st in publick Streets.
Those Words have Fingers; and their Force is such,
They raise the Dead, and mount him with a touch.
But all Provocatives from thee are vain :
No Blandishment the flackend Nerve can strain.
If then thy Lawful Spouse thou canst not Love,
What reason shou'd thy Mind to Marriage move?
Why all the Charges of the Nuptial Feart,
Wine and Deserts, and Sweet-meats to digest?
Thendowing Gold that buys the dear Delight,
Giv'n for their first and only happy Night?
If thou art thus uxoriously inclin’d,
To bear thy Bondage with a willing Mind,
Prepare thy Neck, and put it in the Yoke:
But for no Mercy from thy Woman look.
For tho', perhaps, the loves with equal Fires,
To absolute Dominion she aspires;
Joys in the Spoils, and triumphs o'er thy Purse;
The better Husband makes the Wife the worse.
Nothing is thine to give, or fell, or buy,
All Offices of ancient Friendship die ;
Nor hast thou leave to make a Legacy.
By Is thy imperious Wife thou art bereft
A Privilege, to Pimps and Pandars left;
Thy Testament's her Will; where the prefers
Her Ruffians, Drudges, and Adulterers,
Adopting all thy Rivals for thy Heirs.
Go 18 drag that Slave to Death: 17 Your Reason, wby
Shou'd the poor Innocent be doom'd to die?
15 All the Romans, even the These are the Words of the moft inferior, and moft infa-wife. mous fort of them, had the 17 Tour Reafon why, &c.ca Power of making Wills. The Answer of the Husband.
26 Ge drag that Slave, c,
What Proofs? For, when Man's Life is in debate,
The Judge can ne'er too long deliberate.
Call’ł 18 thou that Slave a Man? the Wife replies:
Prov'd, or unprov'd, the Crime, the Villain dies,
I have the Soveraign Pow'r to save or kill;
And give no other Reason but my Will.
Thus the She Tyrant Reigns, till pleas'd with Change,
Her wild Affections to new Empires range:
Another Subject-Husband the desires;
Divorc'd from him, she to the first retires,
While the last Wedding Featt is scarcely o'er,
And Garlands hang yet green upon the Door.
So ftill the Reck’ning rises; and appears
In total Sum, Eight Husbands in Five Years.
The Title for a Tomb-stone might be fit ;
But that it wou'd too commonly be writ.
Her Mother living, hope no quiet Day :
She sharpens her, instructs her how to Fica
Her Husband bare, and then divides the Prey.
She takes Love-Letters, with a crafty Smile,
And, in ber Daughter's Answer, mends the Style.
la vain the Husband fets his watchful Spies;
She cheats their Cunning, or the bribes their Eyes.
The Doctor's call'd; the Daughter, taught the trick,
Pretends to faint ; and in full Health is lick.
The panting Stallion, at the Closet-door,
Hears the Consult, and wishes it were o'er.
Can'st thou, in Reason, hope, a Bawd fo koowa,
Shou'd teach her other Manners than her own?
Her Int'rest is in all th' Advice she gives :
Tis on the Daughter's Rents the Mother lives.
No Cause is try'd at the litigious Bar,
But Women Plaintiffs of Defendants are.
13 Call A then that Slave a Man: The Wife again,
They form the Process, all the Briefs they write;
The Topicks furnish, and the Pleas indite;
And teach the toothless Lawyer how to bite.
They turn Virago's too; the Wrestler's toil.
They try, and smear their naked Limbs with Oil:
Against the Post their wicker Shields they crush,
Flourish the Sword, and at the Plastron push.
Of ev'ry Exercise the Mannish Crew
Fulfils the Parts, and oft excels us too ;
Prepar'd not only in feign'd Fights t'engage,
But rout the Gladiators on the Stage.
Whar sense of shame in fuch a Breast can lie,
Inur’d to Arms, and her own Sex to Ay?
Yet to be wholly Man the wou'd disclaim;
To quit her tenfold Pleasure at the Game,
For frothy Praises and an empty Name,
Oh what a decent Sight 'tis to behold
All thy Wife's Magazine by Auction fold !.
The Belt, the crested Plume, the several Suits
Of Armour, and the Spanish Leather Boots!
Yet these are they, that cannot bear the Heat
Of figur'd Silks, and under Sarcenet sweat.
Behold the strutting Amazonian Whore,
She stands in Guard with her right Foot before:
Her Coats tuck'd up; and all her Motions just,
She lamps, and then cries Hah! at ev'ry thrust:
But laugh to see her tir’d with many a Bout,
Call for the Pot, and like a Man Piss out.
The Ghosts of ancient Romans, should they rise,
Wou'd grin to see their Daughters play a Prize.
Besides, what endless Brawls by Wives are bred:
The Curtain-Lecture makes a mournful Bed.
Then, when she has thee sure within the Sheets,
Her Cry begins, and the whole Day repeats.
Conscious of Crimçs her self, she teizes first;
Thy Servants are accus'd; thy Whore is curft;
She acts the Jealous, and at Will me cries :
For Womens Tears are but the Sweat of Eyes.
Poor Cuckold-Fool, thou think'st that Love fincerc,
And fuck'st ber ween her Lips the falling Tear:
But search her Cabinet, and thou Malt find
Each riller there with Love-Epistles lin'd.
Suppose her taken in a close Embrace,
This you wou'd think so manifest a Case,
No Rhetorick cou'd defend, no Impudence out-face :
And yet ev’n then she cries, the Marriage-Vow
A mental Reservation must allow;
And there's a filent Bargain fill imply'd,
The Parties shou'd be pleas°d on either side :
And both may for their private Needs provide.
Tho' Men your selves, and Women us you call
Yet Homo is a common Name for all.
There's nothing bolder than a Woman caught;
Guilt gives 'em Courage to maintain their Fault.
You ask from whence proceed these monstrous Crimes ?
Once poor, and therefore chaste, in former times,
Our Matrons were: No Luxury found room
In low-rooft Houses, and bare Walls of Lome;
Their Hands with Labour harden'd while’twas Light,
And frugal Sleep supply'd the quiet Night,
While pinch'd with Want, their Hunger held 'em straight;
When '9 Hannibal was hov'ring at the Gate:
But wanton now, and lolling at our Ease,
We suffer all th' invet'rate Ills of Peace,
And wasteful Riot; whose destructive Charms
Revenge the vanquish'd World, of our victorious Arms,
No Crime, no luftful Postures are unknown;
Since Poverty, our Guardian-God, is gone :
19 A famous Carthaginian Captain, who was upon the point of conquering the Romansa E 3