Characters, and Speeches, and Advice; and after much and wife Confultation, an Expedient being found out and agreed upon, he dismisses the Senate, and concludes the Satyr.
ONCE more Crifpinus, call'd upon the Stage,
(Nor fhall once more fuffice) provokes my Rage: A Monster, to whom ev'ry Vice lays claim, Without one Virtue to redeem his Fame. Feeble and fick, yet ftrong in Luft alone, The rank Adult'rer preys on all the Town; All but the Widow's naufeous Charms go down. What matter then how ftately is the Arch
Where his tir'd Mules flow with their Burden march? What matter then how thick and long the Shade Through which, by sweating Slaves, he is convey'd ? How many Acres near the City Walls, Or new-built Palaces, his own he calls? No ill Man's happy; leaft of all is he Whose study 'tis to corrupt Chastity.
Th' Incestuous Brute, who the veil'd Veftal Maid But lately to his impious Bed betray'd,
Who for her Crime, if Laws their Course might have, Ought to defcend alive into the Grave.
But now of flighter Faults; and yet the fame By others done, the Cenfor's Juftice claim. For what good Men ignoble count and base, Is Virtue here, and does Crifpinus grace: In this he's fafe, whate'er we write of him, The Perfon is more odious than the Crime.
And fo all Satyr's loft. The lavish Slave Six 2 thousand Pieces for a Barbel gave;
A Sefterce for each Pound it weigh'd, as they Give out, that hear great things, but greater fay, If by this Bribe well plac'd, he would ensnare Some faplefs Ufurer that wants an Heir ; Or if this Prefent the fly Courtier meant, Should to fome Punk of Quality be fent, That in her eafy Chair in State does ride, The Glaffes all drawn up on ev'ry fide, I'd praise his Cunning; but expect not this, For his own Gut he bought the ftately Fish. Now ev'n 3 Apicius Frugal feems, and Poor, Outvy'd in Luxury unknown before.
Gave you, Crifpinus, you this mighty Sum? You, that, for want of other Rags, did come In your own Country Paper wrapp'd, to Rome? Do Scales and Fins bear Price to this Excess ? You might have bought the Fifherman for lefs. For lefs fome Provinces whole Acres fell, Nay, 4 in Apulia, if you bargain well, A Manor wou'd coft lefs than fuch a Meal. What think we then of his s luxurious Lord ? What Banqnets loaded that Imperial Board ?
2 Six thousand Pieces. Six | thousand of the Roman Seftertii, which make fix Seftertia, according to our Account,461, || 17. 6d.
3 Now even Apicius. A Man for Gluttony and Prodigality famous even to a Proverb, who having spent most of his vaft Eftate upon his Gut, for fear of Want poyson'd' himfelf. Senec.
4 Nay in Apulia. Part of
Italy, near the Adriatick Gulf where Land it feems was very cheap, either for the barten- ness and cragged height of the Mountains, or for the unwhol- someness of the Air, and the Wind Arabulus. Horat. Lib. 1. Sar. g. Montes Apúlia notos- ques torret Atabulus ques nunquam erepsemus, &c.
Hir luxurions Lord. The Emperor Domitian,
When in one Dish, that taken from the reft His conftant Table wou'd have hardly mist, So many Sefterces were fwallow'd down, To stuff one Scarlet-coated Court Buffoon, Whom Rome of all her Knights new Chiefeft greets, From crying stinking Fish about the Streets. Begin, Calliope, but not to fing:
Plain, honeft Truth we for our Subject bring. Help then, ye young Pierian Maids, to tell. A downright Narrative of what befel. Afford me willingly your facred Aids,
[Maids. Me that have call'd you young, me that have styl'd you When he, with whom 6 the Flavian Race decay'd, The groaning World with Iron Scepter fway'd, When a bald Nere reign'd, and fervile Rome obey'd, Where Venus Shrine does fair Ancona grace, A Turbut taken of prodigious Space, Fill'd the extended Net, not less than those That dull Maotis does with Ice enclose. Till conquer'd by the Sun's prevailing Ray, It opens to the Pontick Sea their way;
And throws them out unwieldy with their Growth, Fat with long Eafe, and a whole Winter's Sloth: The wife Commander of the Boat and Lines For our High-Prieft the stately Prey designs;
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