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MADAM WALDOBOROUGH'S CARRIAGE.

On a bright particular afternoon, in the month of November, 1855, I met on the Avenue des Champs Elysées, in Paris, my young friend Herbert J

After many desolate days of wind and rain and fallen leaves, tha city had thrown off her wet rags, so to speak, and arrayed herself in the gorgeous apparel of one of the most golden and perfect Sundays of the season. "All the world" was out of doors. The Boulevards, the Bois de Boulogne, the bridges over the Seine, all the public promenades and gardens, swarmed with joyous multitudes. The Cham ps Elysées, and the long avenue leading up to the Barrière de l'Etoile, appeared one mighty river, an Amazon of many-coloured human life. The finest July weather had not produced such a superb display; for now the people of fashion, who had passed the summer at their country-seats, or in Switzerland, or among the Pyrenees, reappeared in their showy equipages. The tide, which had been flowing to the Bois de Boulogne ever since two o'clock, had turned, and was pouring back into Paris. For miles, up and down, on either side of the city-wall, extended the glittering train of vehicles. The three broad, open gateways of the Barrière proved insufficient channels; and far as you could see, along the Avenue de l'Impératrice, stood three seemingly endless rows of carriages, closely crowded, unable to advance, waiting for the Barrière de l'Etoile to discharge its surplus living waters. Detachments of the mounted city guard, and long lines of police, regulated the flow; while at the Barrière an extra force of custom-house officers fulfilled the necessary formality of casting an eye of inspection into each vehicle as it passed, to see that nothing was smuggled.

Just below the Barrière, as I was moving with the stream of pedestrians, I met Herbert. He turned and took my arm. As he did so, I noticed that he lifted his bran-new Parisian hat towards heaven, saluting with a lofty flourish one of the carriages that passed the gate. It was a dashy barouche, drawn by a glossy-black span, and occupied by two ladies and a lapdog. A driver on the box, and a footman perched behind, both in livery,-long coats, white gloves, and gold bands on their hats, completed the establishment. The ladies sat facing each other, and their mingled, effervescing skirts and flounces filled the cup of the vehicle quite to over-foaming, like a Rochelle powder, nearly drowning the brave spaniel, whose sturdy little nose was elevated, for air, just above the surge. Both ladies recognized my friend, and she who sat, or rather reclined, (for such a luxurious, languishing attitude can hardly be called a sitting posture), fairy-like in the hinder part of the shell, bestowed on him a very gracious, con

descending smile. She was a most imposing creature,-in freshness of complexion, in physical development, and, above all, in amplitude and magnificence of attire, a full-blown rose of a woman, aged, I should say, about forty.

"Don't you know that turn-ont ?" said Herbert, as the shallop with its lovely freight floated on in the current.

"I am not so fortunate," I replied.

"Good gracious! miserable man! Where do you live? In what obscure society have you buried yourself? Not to know Madam Waldo borough's Carriage !"

This was spoken in a tone of humorous extravagance which piqued my curiosity. Behind the ostentatious deference with which he had raised his hat to the sky, beneath the respectful awe with which he spoke the lady's name, I detected irony and a spirit of mischief.

"Who is Madam Waldoborough? and what about hor carriage?"

"Who is Madam Waldoborough" echoed Herbert, with mock astouishment; "that a American, six months in Paris, should ask that question! An American woman, and a woman of fortune, sir; and, which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any in Messina or elsewhere; one that occupies a position, go to! and receives on Thursday evenings, go to! and that hath ambassadors at her table, and everything hand some about her! And as for her carriage," he continued, coming down from his Dogberrian strain of eloquence, it is the very identical carriage which I didn't ride in once!" How was that?"

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"I'll tell you; for it was a curious adventure. and as it was a very useful lesson to me, so TOL may take warning by my experience, and, if ever she invites you to ride with her, as she did me beware! beware! her flashing eyes, her floating hair! do not accept, or, before accepting, take Iago's advice, and put money in your purse: put money in your purse! I'll tell you why.

"But, in the first place, I must explain how I came to be without money in mine, so soon after arriving in Paris, where so much of the artic is necessary. My woes all arise from vanity. That is the rock, that is the quicksand, that the malestrom. I presume you don't know anf. body else who is afflicted with that complaint If you do, I'll but teach you how to tell my story, and that will cure him; or, at least, it ought to.

You see, in crossing over to Liverpool in the steamer, I became acquainted with a charming young lady, who proved to be a second coust of my father's. She belongs to the aristocratic branch of our family. Every family tree has aristocratic branch, or bough, or little twig at least, I believe. She was a Todworth; and

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having always heard my other relations mention | sense of the mighty importance of their mission with immense pride and respect the Todworths, to the world, which strikes a beholder with awe. as if it was one of the solid satisfactions of life to I was made to feel very inferior in their presence. be able to speak of my uncle Todworth,' or 'my We dined at a private table, and these ministers cousins the Todworths,' I was prepared to of state waited upon us. They brought us the appreciate my extreme good fortune. She was morning paper on a silver salver; they presented a bride, setting out on her wedding tour. it as if it had been a mission from a king to a She had married a sallow, bilious, perfumed, very king. Whenever we went out or came in, there disagreeable fellow, except that he too was an stood two of those magnates, in white waistaristocrat, and a millionaire besides, which made coats and white gloves, to open the folding doors him very agreeable; at least, I thought so. for us, with stately mien. You would have said That was before I rode in Madam Waldo- it was the Lord High Chamberlain and his borough's carriage; since which era in my life I deputy, and that I was at least Minister have slightly changed my habits of thinking on Plenipotentiary to the Court of St. James. I these subjects. tried to receive these overpowering attentions with an air of easy indifference, like one who had been all his life accustomed to that sort of thing, you know; but I was oppressed with a terrible sense of being out of my place, I couldn't help feeling that these serene and lofty highnesses knew perfectly well that I was a green Yankee boy, with less than fifty pounds in my pocket; and I fancied that, behind the mask of gravity each imperturbable countenance wore, there was always lurking a smile of contempt.

"Well, the fair bride was most gratifyingly affable, and cousined me to my heart's content. Her husband was no less friendly; they not only petted me, but I think they really liked me; and by the time we reached London I was on as affectionately familiar terms with them as a If I had younger brother could have been. been a Todworth they couldn't have made more of me. They insisted on my going to the same hotel with them, and taking a room adjoining their suite. This was a happiness to which I had but one objection, my limited pecuniary resources. My family are neither aristocrats nor millionaires; and economy required that I should place myself in humble and inexpensive lodgings for the two or three weeks I was to spend in London. But vanity! vanity! I was actually ashamed, sir, to do the honest and true thing, afraid of disgracing my branch of the family in the eyes of the Todworth branch, and of losing the fine friends I had made, by confessing my poverty. The bride, I confess, was a delightful companion; but I know other ladies just as interesting, although they do not happen to be Todworths. For her sake, personally, I should never have thought of committing the folly; and still less, I assure you, for that piece of perfumed and yellow-complexioned politeness, her husband. It was pride, sir, pride that ruined

me.

They went to Cox's hotel, in JermynStreet; and I, simpleton as I was, went with them, for that was before I rode in Madam Waldoborough's carriage.

"Cox's, I fancy, is the crack hotel of London. Lady Byron boarded there; the author of • Childe Harold, himself used to stop there; Tom Moore wrote a few of his last songs and drank a good many of his last bottles of wine there; my Lords Tom, Dick, and Harry,-the Duke of Dash, Sir Edward Splash, and Viscount Flash. These and other notables always honour Cox's when they go to town. So we honoured Cox's. And a very quiet, orderly, well-kept tavern we found it. I think Mr. Cox must have a good housekeeper. He has been fortunate in securing a very excellent cook. I should judge that he had engaged some of the finest gentlemen in England to act as waiters. Their manners would do credit to any potentate in Europe: there is that calm self-possession about them, that serious dignity of deportment, sustained by a secure

"But this was not the worst of it. I suffered If noblemen were my from another cause. attendants, I must expect to maintain noblemen. All that ceremony and deportment must go into the bill. With this view of the case, I could not look at their white kids without feeling sick at heart; white waistcoats became a terror; the sight of an august neckcloth, bowing its solemn attentions to me, depressed my very soul. The folding-doors, on golden hinges turning -- figuratively, at least, if not literally, like those of Milton's heaven-grated as horrible discords on my secret ear as the gates of It was my gold that Milton's other place. helped to make those hinges. And this I endured merely for the sake of enjoying the society, not of my dear newly-found cousins, but of two phantoms, intangible, unsatisfactory, unreal, that hovered over their heads-the phantom of wealth and the still more empty phantom of social position. But all this, understand, was before I rode in Madame Waldoborough's carriage.

"Well, I saw London in company with my aristocratic relatives, and paid a good deal more for the show, and really profited less by it, than if I had gone about the business in my own deliberate and humble way. Everything was, of course, done in the most lordly manner known. Instead of walking to this place or that, or taking an omnibus or a cab, we rolled magnificiently in our carriage. I suppose the happy bridegroom would willingly have defrayed all these expenses, if I had wished him to do so, but pride promped me to pay my share. So it happened that, during nine days in London, I spent as much as would have lasted me as many weeks, if I had been as wise as I was vain

that is, if I had ridden in Madame Waldoborough's carriage before I went to England. "When I saw how things were going, bank.

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ruptcy staring me in the face, ruin yawning at my feet, I was suddenly seized with an irresis-weeter than Cox's best dinners; I nibbled, and tible desire to go on to Paris. I had a French fever of the most violent character. I declared myseif sick of the soot and smoke and uproar of the great Bable-I even spoke slightingly of Cox's Hotel, as if I had been used to better things and called for my bill. Heavens and earth, how I trembled! Did ever a condemned wretch feel as faint at the sight of the priest coming to bid him prepare for the gallows, as I did at the sight of one of those sublime functionaries bringing me my doom on a silver salver? Every pore opened; a clammy perspiration broke out all over me; I reached forth a shaking hand, and thanked his highness with a ghastly smile.

"A few figures told my fate. The convict who hears his death sentence may still hope for a reprieve; but figures are inexorable, figures cannot lie. My bill at Cox's was in pounds, shillings and pence, amounting to just eleven dollars a day. Eleven times nine are ninetynine. It was so near a round hundred, it seemed a bitter mockery not to say a hundred, and have done with it, instead of scrupulously stopping to consider a single paltry dollar. I was reminded of the boy whose father bragged of killing nine hundred and ninety-nine pigeons at one shot. Somebody asked why he did'nt say a thousand. Thunder!' says the boy, 'do you suppose my father would lie just for one pidgeon? I told the story, to show how coolly I received the bill, and paid it-coined my heart and dropped my blood for drachmas, rather than appear mean in the presence of my relatives, although I knew that a portion of the charge was for the bridal arrangements for which the bridegroom alone was responsible.

"This drained my purse so nearly dry that I had only just money enough left to take me to Paris, and pay for a week's lodging or so in advance. They urged me to remain and go to Scotland with them, but I tore myself away, and fled to France. I would not permit them to accompany me to the railway station, and see me off, for I was unwilling that they should know I was going to economize by purchasing a second-class ticket. From the life I had been leading at Cox's to a second-class passage to Paris, was that step from the sublime to the ridiculous which I did not wish to be seen taking. I think I'd have thrown myself into the Thames before I would thus have exposed myself; for, as I tell you, I had not yet been honoured with a seat in Madam Waldoborough's carriage.

"It is certainly a grand thing to keep grand company; but if ever I felt a sense of relief, it was when I found myself free from my cousins, emancipated from the fearful bondage of keeping up such expensive appearances; when I found myself seated on the hard, cushionless bench of the second-class car, and nibbled my crackers at my leisure, unoppressed by the awful presence of those grandces in white waistcoats, and by the more awful presence of a condemning conscience within myself.

"I uibbled my crackers, and they taste contemplated my late experiences; nibbled, and was almost persuaded to be a Christian, that is, to forswear thenceforth and forever all company which I could not afford to keep, all appearances which were not honest, all foolish pride, and silly ambition, and moral cowardice; as I did after I had ridden in a certain carriage I have mentioned, and which I am coming to now as fast as possible. "I had lost nearly all my money and a good share of my self-respect by the course I had taken, and I could think of only one substantial advantage which I had gained. That was a note of introduction from my lovely cousin to Madam Waldoborough. That would be of inestimable value to me in Paris. It would give me access to the best society, and secure to me, a stranger, many privileges which could not otherwise be obtained. Perhaps, after all,' thought I, as I read over the flattering contents of the unsealed note, perhaps, after all, I shall find this worth quite as much as it has cost me.' O, had I forseen that it was actually destined to procure me an invitation to ride out with Madam Waldoborough herself, shouldn't I have been elated?

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"I reached Paris, took a cheap lodging, and waited for the arrival of my uncle's goods destined for the Great Exhibition-for to look after them (I could speak French, you know, and to assist in having them properly placed, was the main business that had brought me here. I also waited anxiously for my uncle and and a fresh supply of funds. In the mean time I delivered my letters of introduction, and made a few acquaintances. Twice I called at Madam Waldoborough's hotel, but did not see her; she was ot. So at least the servants said, but I suspect they lied; for, the second time I was told so, I noticed, O, the most splendid turnout!-the some you just saw pass-waiting in the carriage-way before her door, with the driver on the box, and the footman holding open the silver-handred and escutchioned panel that served as a door to the barouche, as if expecting some grand personage to get in.

"Some distinguished visitor, perhaps,' thought I; or, it may be, Madam Waldo borough herself; instead of being out, she is just going out, and in five minutes the servant's lie will be a truth. Sure enough, before I left the street (for I may as well confess that curiosity caused me to linger a little) my lady herself ap peared in all her glory, and bounced into the barouche with a vigour that made it rock quite unromantically; for she is not frail, she is not a butterfly, as you perceived. I recognized her from a description I had received from my cousin the bride. She was accompanied by that meagre, smart little sprite of a French girl, whom Madam always takes with her-to talk French with, and to be waited upon by her, she says; but rather, I believe, by way of contrast to set off her own brilliant complexion and im perial proportions. It is Juno and Arachne. The divine orbs of the goddess turned haughtily upon me, but did not see me-looked

through and beyond me, as if I had been nothing but gossamer, feathers, air; and the little black, bead-like eyes of the insect pierced me maliciously an instant, as the barouche dashed past, and disappeared in the Rue de Rivoli. I was humiliated; I felt that I was recognized-known as the rash youth who had just called at the Hotel de Waldoborough, been told that Madam was out, and had stopped out side to catch the hotel in a lie. It is very singular-how do you explain it?—that it shonld have seemed to me the circumstance was something, not for Madam, but for me to be ashamed of! I don't believe that the colour of her peachy cheeks was heightened the shadow of a shade; but as for me, I blushed to the tips of my ears.

"You may believe that I did not go away in such a cheerful frame of mind as might have encouraged me to repeat my call in a hurry. I just coldly enclosed to her my cousin's letter of introduction, along with my address; and said to myslf, 'Now, she'll know what a deuse of a fellow she has slighted: she'll know she has put an affront upon a connection of the Todworths!' I was very silly, you see, for I had not yet-but I am coming to that part of my story.

"Well, returning to my lodgings a few days afterwards, I found a note which had been left for me by a liveried footman-Madam Waldoborough's footman, O Heaven! I was thrown into great trepidation by the stupendous event, and eagerly inquired if Madam herself was in her carriage, and was immensely relieved to learn she was not; for, unspeakably gratifying as such an Olympian compliment, would have been under other circumstances, I should have felt it more than offset by the mortification of knowing that she knew, that her own eyes had beheld, the very humble quarter in which a lack of means had compelled me to locate myself.

"I turned from that frightful possibility to the note itself. It was everything I could have asked. It was ambrosia, it was nectar. I had done a big thing when I fired the Todworth gun: it had brought the enemy to terms. My cousin was complimented, and I was welcomed to Paris, and-the Hotel Waldoborough !

“Why have you not called to see me?' the note inquired, with charming innocence. ‘I shall be at home to-morrow at two o'clock; cannot you give me the pleasure of greeting so near a relative of my dear, delightful Louise ?' "Of course. I would afford her that pleasure! O, what a thing it is,' I said to myself, 'to be a third cousin to a Todworth!' But the two o'clock in the morning-how should I manage that? I had not supposed that fashionable people in Paris got up so early, much less received visitors at that wonderful hour. But, on reflection, I concluded that two in the morning meant two in the afternoon; for I had heard that the great folks commenced their day at about that time.

“At two o'clock, accordingly, the next after

noon-excuse me, O ye fashionable ones! I mean the next morning-I sallied forth from my little barren room in the Rue des Vieux Augustins, and proceeded to Madam's ancient palace in the Rue St. Martin, dressed in my best, and palpitating with a sense of the honour I was doing myself. This time the concierge smiled encouragingly, and ascertained for me that Madam was at home. I ascended the polished marble staircase to a saloon on the first floor, where I was requested to have the obligeance d'attendre un petit moment, until Madam should be Informed of my arrival.

"It was a very large, and, I must admit, a very respectable saloon, although not exactly what I had expected to see at the very summit of the social Olympus. I dropped into a fauteuil near a centre-table, on which there was a fantastical silver-wrought card-basket. What struck me particulrrly about the basket was a well-known little Todworth envelope, superscribed in the delicate handwriting of my aristocratic cousin (my letter of introduction, in fact), displayed upon the very top of the pile of the pile of billets and cards. My own card I did not see; but in looking for it I discovered some curious specimens of foreign orthography -one dainty little note to Madame Valtoburea;' another laboriously addressed to M. et Mme. Jean Val-d'eau-Bèrot;' and still a third, in which the name was conscientiously and industriously written out, Quâldôbeurreaux.' This last, as an instance of spelling an English word à la Fragçaise, I thought a remarkable success, and very creditable to people who speak of Lor Berong,' meaning Lord Byron (Be-wrong' is good!), and talk glibly about Frongclang,' and Vashengtong,' meaning the great philosopher, and the Father of his Country.

"I was trying to amuse myself with these orthographical curiosities, yet waiting anxiously all the while for the appearance of that illustrious ornament of her sex, to whom they were addressed; and the servant's 'petit moment' had become a good 'petit quart d'heure,' when the drawing-room door opened, and in glided, not the Goddess, but the Spider.

"She had come to beg Monsieur (that was me) to have the bounty to excuse Madam (that was the Waldoborough), who had caused herself to be waited for, and who, I was assured, would give herself le plaisir de me voir dans un tout petit moment.' So saying, with a smile, she seated herself; and, discovering that I was an American, began to talk bad English to me. I may say execrable English; for it is a habit your Frenchwoman often has, to abandon her own facile and fluent vernacular, which she speaks fo charmingly, in order to show off a wretched smattering she may have acquired of your language-froin politeness, possibly, but I rather think from vanity. In the mean time Arachne busied her long agile fingers with some very appropriate embroidery; and busied her long agile fingers with some very appropriate

before and the footman behind, in livery! O ye gods!

"I was abandoned to intoxicating dreams of ambition, whilst Madam went to prepare herself, end Mademoiselle to order the carriage. It was not long before I heard a vehicle enter the court-yard, turn, and stop in the carriage-way. I tried to catch a glimpse of it from the window, but saw it only in imagination, that barouche of barouches, which is Waldoborough's! Iims gined myself seated luxuriously in that shell, with Madam by my side, rolling through the

embroidery; and busied her mind, too, I couldn't help thinking, weaving some intricate web of mischief; for her eyes sparkled as they looked at me with a certain gleeful, malicious expression, seeming to say, 'You have walked into my parlour, Mr. Fly, and I am sure to entangle you!' which made me feel uncomfortable. "The tout petit moment' had become another good quarter of an hour, when the door again opened, and Madam (Madam herself, the Waldoborough) appeared! Did you ever see flounces? did you ever witness expansion? have your eyes ever beheld the (so to speak) new-streets of Paris in even greater state than I risen sun trailing clouds of glory over the threshold of the dawn? You should have seen Madam enter that room; you should have seen the effulgence of the greeting smile she gave me; then you wouldn't wonder that I was dazzled.

"She filled and overflowed with her magnificence the most royal fauteuil in the saloon, and talked to me of my Todworth cousin, and of my Todworth cousin's husband, and of London, and America, occasionally turning aside to show off her bad French by speaking to the Spider, until anotчer quarter of an hour had elapsed. Then Paris was mentioned; one of us happened to speak of the Gobelins: I cannot now recall which it was first uttered that fatal word to me, the direful spring of woes unnumbered! Had I visited the Gobelins? I had not, but I anticipated having that pleasure soon.

Long as I have lived in Paris, I have never yet been to the Gobelins!' says Mrs. Waldoborough. 'Mademoiselle' [that was Arachne] 'm'accuse toujours d'avoir tort, et me dit que je dois y aller, n'est ce pas, Made

moiselle?'

"Certainement!' says Mademoiselle, emphatically; and in return for Madam's illspoken French, she added in English, of even worse quality, that the Gobelins' manufacture of tapisteric and carpet, was the place the moz curiouze and interressante which one could go see in Paris.

"C'est ce qu'elle dit toujours,' says the Waldoborough. But I make great allowances for her opinions, since she is an enthusiast with regard to everything that pertains to weaving.'

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Very natural that she should be, being a Spider,' I thought, but did not say so.

"However, Madam continues, I should like extremely well to go there, if I could ever get the time. Quand aurai-je le tems, Mademoiselle?'

"I sink zis afʼnoon is more time zan you have anozer day, Madam,' says the Spider.

So the net was completed, and I was caught thus: Mrs. Waldoborough, with an hospitable glance at me, referred the proposition; and I said, if she would like to go that day, she must not let me hinder her, and offered to take my leave; and Arachne said 'Monsieur perhaps he like go too?' And as Madam suggested ordering the carriage for the purpose, of course I jumped at the chance To ride in that carriage! with the Waldoborough herself! with the driver

had rolled through London with my Todworth cousin. I was impatient to be experiencing the new sensation. The moments dragged: fire, ten, fifteen minutes at least elapsed, and all the while the carriage and I were waiting. Then ap peared-who do you suppose? The Spider, dressed for an excursion. 'So she is going too!' thought I, not very well pleased. She had in her arms-what do you suppose? A confounded little lapdog, the spaniel you saw just now with his nose just above the crinoline.

"Monsieur,' says she, I desire make you know the King François.' I hate lapdogs; bat in order to be civil, I offered to pat his majesty on the head. That, however, did not seem to be court-etiquette; and I got snapped at by the little despot. Our compagnon of voyage,' says Mademoiselle, pacifying him with caresses.

"So, he is going too?' thought I-so unreasonable as to feel a little dissatisfied; as if had a right to say who should and who should not ride in Madam Waldoborough's carriage.

"Mademoiselle sat with her hat on, and held the pup, and I sat with my hat in my band and held my peace; and she talked bad English to me and good French to the dog, for, may be, ten minutes longer, when the Waldoborough swept in, arrayed for the occasion, and said,

Maintenant nous irons.' That was the signal for descending: as we did so Madam casually remarked that something was the matter with one of the Waldoborough horses, but she had not thought it worth the while to give up our visit to the Gobelins on that account, since coupé would answer our purpose and the coupés in that quarter were really very respec

table!

"This considerate remark was as a feather You bed to break the frightful fall before me. think I tumbled down the Waldoborough stairs? Worse than that: I dropped headlong, precipi tately, from the heights of fairy dreams to low actuality; all the way down, down, down, from the Waldoborough's barouche to a hired coach, a voiture de remise, that stood in its place at the door!

"Mademoiselle suggested that it would be quite as well to go in a coupé,' says Mrs. Waldoborough, as she got in.

"Oh, certainly,' I replied, with preternatural cheerfulness. But I could have killed the Spider, for I suspected this was a part the plot she had been weaving to entangle me.

of

"It was a vehicle with two horses, and seats

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