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MULLY OF MOUNTOWN*
FIRST PRINTED BY THE AUTHOR IN 1704.
But this great maxim must be understood, Mountown +! thou sweet retreat from Dublin" Be sure, nay very sure, thy cerk be good!"
Then future ages shall of Peggy tell, Be famous for thy apples and thy pears;
That nymph that brewd and bottled ale so well. For turnips, carrois, lerruce, beans, and pease; For Peggy's butter, and for Peggy's cheese.
How fleet is air ! how many things have breath, May clouds of pigeons round about thee fly! Which in a moment they relign to deach; But condescend sometimes to make a pye.
Depriv'd of light, and all their happiest state, May fat geele gaggle with melodious voice, Not by their fault, but some o'er-ruling tate! And ne'er want gooseberries or apple-sauce! Although fair flowers, that juftly might ievite, Ducks in thy ponds, and chicken in thy pens, Are cropt, nay torn away, for man's delight; And be thy turkeys numerous as thy hens! Yet ftill those flowers, alas! can make no moun, May thy black pigs lie warm in little stye,
Nor has Narcissus now a power to groan ! And have no thought to grieve them till they die! But all those things which breathe in different Mountown! she muse's most delicious theme;
frame, Oh! may thy codlins ever swim in cream! By tie of common breath, man's pity claim. 'The rasp and straw-berries in Bourdeaux drown, A gentle lamb has rhetoric to plead, To add a redder tincture to their own!
And, when she sees the butcher's knife decreed, 'Thy white-wine, sugar, milk, together club, Her voice entreats him not to make her bleed: To make that gentle viand syllabub.
But cruel gain, and luxury of taste, Thy tarts to tarts, cheese-cakes to cheese-cakes join, With pride, still lays man's fellow mertals waste : To spoil the relish of the flowing wine.
What carth and waters breed, or air inspires, Bue to the fading palate bring relief,
Man for his palate fits by torturing fires. By thy Westphalian ham, or Belgic beef;
Mully, a cow, sprung from a beauteous race, And, to complete thy blessings, in a word, With spreading front, did Mountown's pekan May still thy soil be generous as its lord ||.
Gentle she was, and, with a gentle stream, Oh! Peggy, Peggy, when thou goeft to brew, Each morn and night gave milk that equal'd cream. Consider well what you're about to do;
Offending none, of none the siood in dread, Be very wise, very fedately think
Much less of persons which she daily fod : That what you're going now to make is drink; “ But innocence cannot itself defend Consider who must drink that drink; and then, “ 'Gainst treacherous arts, veil'd with the pimec What 'tis to have the praise of honest men :
" friend." For surely, Peggy, while that drink does last, Robin of Derby-Shire, whose temper shocks 'Tis Peggy will be toasted or disgrac'd.
The constitution of his native rocks ; Then, if thy ale in glass thou would'st confine, Born in a place $, which, if it once be namid, To make its sparkling rays in beauty shine, Would make a blushing modesty afhan'd: Let thy clean bottle be entirely dry,
He with indulgence kindly did appear Left a white substance w the surface fly,
To make poor Mully his peculiar care; And, floating there, disturb the curious eye. But inwardly this sullen churlish thief
Had all his nind plac'd upon Mully's beef; * It was taken for a ftate poem, and to have many
His fancy fed on her; and thus he'd cry, myftcries in it; though it was iniy made, as well as “ Or. pheus and Eurydice," for country divertion.
Mully, as fure as I'm alive, you die: A pleasant villa to the louth or Dubois, ocar the fea. # Judge Upton,
$ The Devil's are of Peak.
«6 tell ye,
te 'Tis a brave cow. 0, Sirs, when Christmas Then Terence spoke, oraculous and fly, comnes,
[plums; He'd neither grant the question nor deny; “ These thins shall make the porridge grac'd with Pleading for milk, his thoughts were on mince. “ Then, 'midst our cups, whilst we profusely dine,
руе : “ This blade shall enter deep in Mully's chinc. But all his arguments fo dubious were, " What ribs, what rumps, what bak’d, boild, That Mully thence had neither hopes nor fear. “ stewd, and roast!
“ You've spoke," says Robin; " but now, let me « There shan't one single tripe of her be lost." When Peggy, nymph of Mountown, heard these “ 'Tis not fair spoken words that fill the belly : sounds,
“ Pudding and beef I love; and cannot stoop She griev'd to hear of Mully's future wounds. “ To recommend your bonny-clapper soup. " What crime,” said the,“ has gentle Mully done? “ You say she's innocent: but what of that? “ Witness the rising and the setting fun,
“ 'Tis more than crime fufficient that she's fat! “ That knows what milk she constantly would give!“ And that which is prevailing in this case " Let that quench Robin's rage, and Mully live." “ Is, there's another cow to fill her place.
Daniel, a sprightly swain, that us'd to Dalh " And, granting Mully to have milk in store, The vigorous feeds that drew his lord's calash, “ Yet still this other cow will give us more. To Peggy's side inclin'd; for 'twas well known “ She dies.”—Stop here, my muse: forbear the reft: How well he lov'd those cattle of his own, And veil that grief which cannot be esprest!
ORPHEUS AND EURODICE.
FIRST PRINTED BY THE AUTHOR IN 1704.
As poets say, one Orpheus went
This Orpheus was a jolly boy,
The cunning varlet could devise,
Happy were mor:al, could they be
Dui, as these rwo went strolling on,
This caus'd the general lamentation,
Orpheus best knew what loss he had,
Quoth Linus, “ Soft, refrain your forca: “ What fails to-day, may speed ro morrox. “ Thank you the gods for whate'er haspecs “ But don't fall out with your fat capens. “ 'Tis many an honest man's periti II, “ That he may be in your condition. “ If fuch a blefiing might be had, “ To change a living wife for dead, “ I'd be your chapman; nay, I'd do's, “ Though i gave forty pounds to bool. “ Confider first, yru save her dict; “ Consider nexe, you keep her quiet: “ For, pray, what was the all along, “ Except the burthen of your song? “ What though your Dicé's under grcord; “ Yet many a woman may be found, “ Who, in your gains if she may part take, “ Trust me, will quickly make your heariach: “ Then reit content, as widowers thouid“ The gods best know what's for our good.com
Orpheus no longer could endure Such wounds where he expedied cure.
“ Is't possible !" cried he: “ ani cap “ That noble creature, married than, “ In such a cause be so profane?
I'll fly thee far as I would death,
Which said, he soon outstript the wind,
u Teil me," said he, “ for sure you know Then, kneeling, begs, in terms most civil, « The powers above, and those below,
Urganda's passport to the devil. " Where does Eurydice remain?
Her pass she kindly to him gave, " How shall I fetch her back again?"
Then bade him 'noint himself with salve ; She smilingly replied, “ I'll tell
Such as those hardy people use, “ This easily without a spell :
Who walk on fire without their shoes, “ The wife you look for's gone to hell
Who, on occasion, in a dark hole, “ Nay, never start, man, for 'tis so;
Can gormandize on lighted charcoal, " Except one ill-bred wife or two,
And drink eight quarts of flaning fuel, “ The fashion is, for all to go.
As men in flux do water-gruel " Not that she will be damn'd; ne'er fear
She bade him then go to those caves, " But she may get preferment there.
Where conjurers keep fairy faves, " Jodeed, she might be fried in pitch,
Such fort of creatures as will bate ye " If the had been a bitter bitch;
A kitchen wench, for being nafty,
But, if the neatly fcour her pewter,
Give her the money that is due t'her.
Orpheus went down a narrow hole,
That wat as dark as any coal;
He did at length some glimmering (py,
By which, at least, he might descry
Ten thousand little fairy elves, « She will find favour in his court:
Who there were solacing themselves. " But then to fetch her back, that ftill
All ran about him, cried, " Oh, dear! “ Remains, and may be past my skill;
" Why chought to have seen Orpheus here? For, 'tis too sad a thing to jest on,
" "Tis that queen's birth day which you see " You're the first man e'er alk'd the question; “ And you are come as luckily; " For husbands are such selfiih elves,
“ You had no ballad but we brught it, "" They care for little but themselves.
" Paid Dicé when she little thought it; “ And then one rogue cries to another,
" When you beneath the ewe-tree sat, " Since this wife's gone, e'en get another: “ We've come, and all danc'd round your hat;
Though most men let such thoughts alone, “ But wherсabouts did Dicé leave ye? “ And swear they've had enough of one.
“ She had been welcome, Sir, bulieve me.' “ But, since you are so kind to Dicé,
“ There little chits would make one swear." “ Follow the course which I advise ye;
“ Quoth Orpheus, 'twixt dildain and fear. “E'en go to hell yourself, and try
“ And dare these urchins jeer my crosses, « Th'effc&t of music's harmony;
“ And laugh at mine and Dicé's losses ? " For you will hardly fiud a friend,
“ Hands off the monkeys hold the faster; " Whom you in such a case might send :
“ Sirrahs, I'm going to your master” Besides, their Proserpine has been
“Good word,”quich Oberon," don't flinch; “ The brikest dar.cer on the green,
“ For every time you Nir, I'll pinch; Before old Pluto ravish'd her
“ But, if you decently fit down, “ Took her to Hell—and you may swear,
" I' first equip you with a crown; " She had but little music there;
“ Then for each dance, and for each song, “ For, since the last beheld the sun,
“ Our pence a piece the whole night long." “ Her merry dancing days are done:
O: pheus, who found no remedy, " She has a colt's-tooth still, I warrant,
Made virtue of necessity; " And will not disapprove your errand.
Though all was out of tune, their dance “ Then your request does reason feem,
Would only hinder his advance.
Each note that from his fingers full
Get on his legs to go to fupper.
Quoth Nab, “ We here have strangers seldom, Nothing pleas'd Orpheus half so well,
“ Buc, Sir, to what we have you're welconie. As news that he must go to hell.
“ Madam, they seem of light digestion. Th' impatient wight long'd to be going,
“ Is it not rude to alk a question, As most folks seek their own undoing;
" What they may be, fish, flesh, or fruit ?
“For I ne'er saw things fo minute,"
« Will music do't?" cricd he. " Ne'er heed: " A roasted ant, that's nicely done,
“ By one fmall atom of the fun. “ My harp all dangers shall remove,
“ These are flies' cges, in moon. Siine poach'd, “ Aud dare all fames, but those of love."
“ This a fica's thigh in collops icoich'd,
“ 'Twas hunted yesterday i' th' park,
No ruffled streams to mill do come, “ And like t' have 'scap'd us in the dark.
The silent fish were still more dumb; “ This is a dish entirely new,
Look in the chimney, not a spark there, “ Butterflies' brains diffolv'd in dew;
And darkness did itself grow darker, “ These lovers' vows, these courtiers' hopes, But Orpheus could not sleep a wink, « Things to be eat by microscopes ;
He had too many things to think : " These fucking mites, a glow-worm's heart, But, in the dark, his harp he ftrung, " 'This a delicious rainbow-tart!”
And to the listening fairies sung. “ Madam, I find they're very nice,
Prince Prim, who pitied so much youth “ And will digest within a crice;
Join'd with so much conftancy and cruth « I fee there's nothing you efteen,
Soon gave him thus to undertand; “ That's half so grofs as our whipt cream;
“ Sir, I last night receiv'd command « And I infer, from all these meats,
« To see you out of Fairy Land, " That such liy fit luppers keep clean sheets." 6 Into the realm of Nofootbocai;
“ But, Sir," said the, “ perhaps you're dry!" “ But le not fear of fulphur choke ye; " Then, fpeaking to a fairy by,
« For he's a fiend of sense and wit, “ You've taken care, niy dear Endia,
“ And has got many rooms to lei.” " All's ready for my Ratiwa."
As quick as thought, by glow-worm glimps,
or cluret for a vintner's stewing. " A drop of water, Dewly torni
“ I come from Oheron," quoth Prince Pris. « Fresh from the sofy-finger'd morn;
“ "Tis well," quoth Bocai,"
what from “ A pearl of milk, that's gently prett
"him?" " from blooming Hebe's early breast;
" Why, something frange; this honef mua “ With half a one of Cupid's tears,
“ Had his wife died; now, if he can, “ When he in embryo first appears;
“ He says, he'd have her back again.” " And honey from an infant bee :
Then Bocai, smiling, cried, “ You see, “ Makes liquor for the gods and me!”
• Orpheus, you'll better itay with me. “ Madani,” says he, “an't please your Grace, “ For, let me tell you, Sir, this place, " I'm going to a droughty place;
Although it has an ugly face, " And if I an't too bold, pray charge her, • If to is value it were sold, “ The draught i have be somewhat larger." “ Is worth ten thousand too of gold;
“ Fetch me," said she," a mighty bowl, “ And very famous in all story, “ Like Oberon's capacious fouil,
“ Call'd by the name of Purgatory. “ And then fill up the burnith'd gold
" For when some ages shall have run, “ With juice that makes the Britons bold. “ And Truth by Falsehood be undone, “ This from seven barley-corns I drew,
“ Shall rise the Whore of Babylon; " les years are seven, and to the view
" And this fame whore shall be a man, “ 'Tis clear, and sparkles fit for you.
" Who, by his lies and cheating, can “ Lattay
“ Be fuch a trader in all evil, " When I by fate was last time hurl'd,
“ As to outdo our friend the devil; “ To adł ny pranks in t'other world,
." He and his pimps shall lay, that when " I saw some sparks, as they were drinking,
A man is dying, thither then " With mighty mirth and little thinking,
« The devil comes to take the fool, " Theii jatto wire sipernaculim,
“ And cairy l.im down to this hole ; “ Andísarch'd the rubiis fror each thumb, " But, if a man have flore of wealth, " did in this cryftal have them here,
“ To get some prayers for his foul's health, Perhaps you'il like it more than beer.”
« The devil bas cher: no more to do, Wine and lze hours ditolu'd die feast;
< But must be forc'd to let him go. And men and fairies went to rell.
d. But we are no more fols than they, The bed where Orpheus was to lie
“ Thus to be bubbled of our pres. Was ail fuft'u full of barıcıy:
“ By these same pií us frauds and lies, Turling streams and amosons rills,
“ Sa'l many monatteries rise : Dying found that never kills,
“ Friars Thal! get good meat and beer, Z phuris breathing, kve delighting,
“ To pray foiks out that pe'er came bert; J'y to flamber loft inviting,
“ Pans, pots, and kettles shall be given, Trembling sounds that make no noise,
u To fetch a man from hence to heaven And fougs to please withou: a voice,
“ Suppose a man has taken purses, Were mixt with down that feil from Juve, “ Or stolen fheep, or cows, or horks, When he became a swan for kıye.
“ And chances to be hang'd, you'd cry, 'Twas night, and na'ure's felf lay dead, " Let him be hang'd, and fo good-by. Nodding upon a feather-bed;
“ Hold, says the triar, let me alone, The mountains seern'd to bend their tops,
“ He's but to purgatory gene: And theniets clos'd the milleners' thors;
“ And if you'll let our convent keep Excluding both the purks and fors;
" Those purses, cows, horses, and fbcom