the young hero of such a day must feel; the conscious benefactor of all his little fellow-citizens, who share, with gratitude, the happiness derived to him from the success of his talents! The verses too are read, transcribed, repeated; the homage of admiration and of envy is paid to him, and the first emotions of youthful vanity and ambition are fully gratified. In short, not Herodotus, reciting that exercise of imagination which we call his history, whilst all Greece, assembled in the playing-fields at Elis, on the whole holiday of the Olympic games, listened with silent applause; no, nor, to illustrate my idea by a still sublimer image, the great duke of Marlborough himself, on the thanksgiving day for Blenheim, could taste a purer and more exalted rapture. 66 Forgive this sally, Mr. Fitz-Adam, and let me join with your witty correspondent in lamenting the deficiency of our laws, which do not extend to the prevention of the evil he exposes, though I cannot concur in thinking that ridicule will, on this occasion, supply the place of wholesome regulations. "Whether the remedy I am going to propose will be effectual for this purpose, I will not pretend to determine; but I confess it appears, to me at least, so obvious, that I am amazed it never occurred to any one before. Give me leave to make one or two previous observations, and I will keep you no longer in suspense. "I have often heard it remarked, that a great school is a miniature of the great world, and that men are nothing else but children of a larger size. If this be true, which every day's experience seems to justify, can there be any danger of fallacy in arguing, that the same engines of government which serve to establish order in a school, may be transferred for similar purposes, with great probability of success, to the use of the state? Now I appeal to common sense, whether rambling abroad, and running out of bounds, are not exactly the same offences; only that the one is committed by the great children, the other by the little ones; and if the discipline of birch is found effectual to restrain it in the latter, why should not the experiment be tried at least with the former? The rod, Mr. Fitz-Adam, the rod is the thing, which, if well administered, would serve to deter many a man-child from exposing himself as a rambler, whose callous sensations the lash of ridicule could make no impression upon. In recommending this, I am sorry to say I have the authority of experience to support me, having had the misfortune to feel, in my own proper person, how efficacious the smart of a little flagellation is to correct an inordinate passion for travelling for the rage of travel, Sir, prevails in our little society as in your larger one, and has formerly, when this argument à posteriori was not so frequently used to discourage it, manifested itself in perpetual excursions to foreign parts; such as Cluer, Datchet, Windsor, &c. at every short interval between school-times, just as the grown children of fashion run over to Paris during a recess of parliament. But the ceremony of an installation was equivalent to a jubilee, and used to occasion almost a total emigration, which I assure you was prevented the last time by this salutary terror; a terror which operates so strongly, that though there is now-and-then a clandestine excursion made by some daring genius, yet it is but seldom, and attended with such trepidation when it happens, as to justify the picture which the sweetest of our elegiac poets has drawn of us: Still as they run they look behind, GRAY. "It may possibly be objected, that our menchildren are too big to be whipt like school-boys; but if the description be just, which I heard a gentleman at my father's give last holidays of our countrymen abroad, I leave you to judge whether they should or not. Strolling over Europe,' these were his words, and staring about with a strange mixture of raw admiration and rude contempt; both equally the effect of ignorance and inexperience. Insolently despising foreign manners and customs, merely because they are foreign, which yet for the same reason they would fain copy, though aukwardly and without distinction. Untinctured with any sound principles of comparison; unreasonably vain, and, by turns, ashamed, of their native country; trifling, sheepish, and riotous.' What are these, Mr. Fitz-Adam, but school-boys out of bounds? And shall they not be whipt, severely whipt, when they return? It is beneath the dignity of government to inflict a more serious punishment, and contrary to its wisdom to connive at the offence. "There is a bill, I am told, depending in parliament, the idea of which, if I am rightly informed, is plainly borrowed from our custom of calling absence; that is, calling over the list of names, to which each boy is expected to appear and answer; I mean the register bill, which it seems establishes an absence to be called annually throughout the kingdom: an admirable institution, calculated, I suppose, as among us, for the detection of these very offenders. Let those patriots then, who have condescended to copy one institution of schoolpolicy, adopt the whole plan; for surely to detect without punishing, would be stopping short of the mark. Suppose, then, that a bill was to be prepared, intituled 'An act against rambling,' which may be considered as a proper supplement to the vagrant act; by which a board should be constituted, and called the home board;' the president and principal members of which are to be chosen out of the laudable society of Anti-Gallicans; to whom the proper officers appointed to call absence, pursuant to the register act, shall transmit annually complete lists of absentees in foreign parts, who, on their return home, shall be liable to be summoned and examined in a summary way before the board, whose sentence shall be final. That all going into foreign parts shall not be deemed rambling; but that the legislature may in its wisdom define the offence, and specify certain tokens by which it may be ascertained; such, for instance, as debasing the purity of the English language, by a vile mixture of exotic words, idioms, and phrases; all impertinent and unmeaning shrugs, grimaces, and gesticulations; the frequent use of the word canaille, and the least contempt wantonly cast on the roast beef of Old England. These should be deemed sufficient evidence to convict an offender against this statute, who shall be immediately brought to condign punishment, which is to be by flagellation after the manner of the schools: for which purpose a block, fashioned like ours, may be erected on the parade, and an additional salary given to the usher of the black rod, to provide a sufficient store of birch, and able-bodied deputies. The number of lashes to be proportioned to the crime; never less than seven, nor more than oneand-twenty, exclusive of the flying cuts as the criminal rises. The time of execution, for the sake of public example, to be twelve at noon, and some one member of the home board, always to attend and intermix proper reproofs and admonitions between the cuts, which are to be applied slowly and distinctly. Provided always, that nothing in this act contained shall extend to persons who cross the seas in order to finish their studies at foreign universities; to gentlemen who travel with the public spirited design of procuring singers and dancers for the opera; or to such young patriots who make the tour of Europe, from a laudable desire of discovering the many imperfections of the English constitution, by comparing it with the more perfect models which are to be found abroad. 66 Such, Sir, are the general outlines of my scheme; and, guarded with these precautions, I should flatter myself it could meet with no opposition. I once thought of a private whipping-room for travelling females, but in consideration of the voluntary penance, which I am told they submit to at their return to England, of exhibiting them selves in public places, made frightful with all the frippery of France, patched, painted, and pomponed, as warnings to the sex, I am willing that all further punishment should be remitted. To your censure, Sir, I submit the whole of my scheme. If the foundation I have built upon is a weak one, I have the inexperience of youth to plead in my behalf, and the same excuse to allege with the simple swain in Virgil, which as a school-boy I beg leave to quote, Urbem, quam dicunt Romam, Melibœe, putavi Sic canibus catulos, similes, &c. "I am, SIR, ECL. i. 20. "Your humble servant." "Eton School, May 12, 1753." |