and it was some time before I could prevail with myself to examine any further into his writings: but, being now more advanced in my enquiry after truth, those singularities which at first offended me became tolerable, and I began to relish the simplicity, spirituality, love of Christ, and affection for souls, which eminently shine forth in many parts of his works. Indeed, I received considerable instruction from him; but especially his sermon on the real satisfaction made by the death of Christ for the sins of believers, was the blessed means of clearing up my views, and confirming my faith, respecting that fundamental doctrine of Christianity. On Good Friday, 1777, I preached a sermon upon that subject, from Isaiah liii. 6: "All we like sheep have gone astray; we have "turned every one to his own way, and the LORD "hath laid [caused to meet] on him the iniquities "of us all." I endeavoured to prove, (what has ever since been the foundation of all my hopes,) that Christ indeed bare the sins of all who should ever truly believe, in all their guilt, condemnation, and deserved punishment, " in his own body on the tree." I explicitly avowed my belief, that Christ, as our surety and bondsman, stood in our law-place, to answer all our obligations, and to satisfy divine justice and the demands of the law for our offences and I publicly renounced as erroneous and grievous perversions of scripture, all my former explanations and interpretations of these subjects.

This was the first doctrine, in which I was clearly and fully brought to acknowledge the truth; though I had with no little earnestness for

two years been enquiring about it: to so astonishing a degree was my blinded understanding filled with prejudice against the doctrines of the word of God! Hitherto they had been "foolishness" to me; but now under the divine teaching I began, though very dimly, to discern the wisdom of God in them.

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I say dimly; for I was still under many and great mistakes, and very ignorant in many important points. I knew sin to be the transgression of the divine law; but I did not perceive its odious deformity, as deliberate rebellion against God's sovereign authority, and an express contradiction to his holy nature; as charging God foolishly, with the want of either wisdom or goodness, in laying such restraints upon the inclinations of his creatures; and as tending to overturn all subordination in the universe, and to introduce anarchy, confusion, and misery into the whole creation. I had discovered that my best actions were defiled; but I understood not that this was the effect of a depraved nature, and a polluted heart. The doctrine of original sin, as the fruitful root of these multiplied evils, was as yet no part of my creed. Inconsistently, I was an Arian, or a Clarkist, in my sentiments concerning the person of Christ, and the divinity of the Holy Ghost. Some faint conception I had formed of the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit in the soul; the beginnings of it I little understood; and I continued to entertain an implacable enmity to the doctrine of election, and the truths more intimately connected with it. But my faith was now fixed upon a crucified Saviour, (though I dishonoured his person, and de

nied his Deity,) and I had a sincere desire of being devoted to the Lord. He therefore in mercy accepted his own work in my heart, and pardoned all that was mine; and at length extricated me from that labyrinth of perplexities and inconsistencies in which I was entangled.

About this time in the course of my lectures our Lord's discourse with Nicodemus came again under my consideration. Notwithstanding much meditation and many prayers, I could not satisfy my mind about it. Some internal change, I was convinced, must be implied in the expressions, "born again," and "born of the Spirit:" and, according to what I had experienced, I endeavoured to explain it; but I was still very confused in my views of that important subject, and had many doubts whether I were right or wrong in what I advanced. Hitherto, excepting Leland on the Deistical Writers, I had not read any book written by a dissenter, with the least degree of candour and attention; but at this crisis I met with the first volume of Dr. Evans's sermons, entitled The Christian Temper.' I was induced to read it by the recommendation of a friend; but, such was my proud foolish heart, I opened it with great prejudice, because I understood that the author was a dissenter! However, this book came with a blessing: for by perusing it I at length perceived that fallen man, both body and soul, is indeed " carnal, and sold under sin ;" that by nature in every man living the reasonable and immortal part is destitute of spirituality, immersed in matter, and, by a dishonourable and miserable prostitution, given up "to make provi"sion for the flesh to fulfil the lusts thereof;" and

that man must be renewed in the spirit of his mind, new" created unto good works," " born of "the Spirit" of God, made "partaker of a" new and "divine nature," before he can possibly be made meet for, or admitted into, the kingdom of God. In a very little time all my difficulties about this matter vanished, and the truth became so exceedingly plain and evident, that, until I had made the experiment, I could scarcely be persuaded but that every person, who heard it rightly explained, must assent to it. This doctrine I have ever since invariably preached, with good effect, I trust, "in opening the eyes of sinners, and turning them "from darkness to light, and from the power of "Satan unto God." Acts xxvi. 28.

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When I had made this little progress in seeking the truth, my acquaintance with Mr. Newton was resumed. From the conclusion of our correspondence in December, 1775, till April, 1777, it had been almost wholly dropped. To speak plainly, I did not care for his company; I did not mean to make any use of him as an instructor; and I was unwilling the world should think us in any way connected. But, on a particular occasion, under discouraging circumstances, I at this time called upon him and his discourse so comforted and edified me, that my heart, being by his means relieved from its burden, became susceptible of affection for him. From that time I was inwardly pleased to have him for my friend: though not as now rejoiced to call him so. I had, however, even at that time, no thoughts of learning doctrinal truth from him, and was ashamed to be detected in his company but I sometimes stole away to spend an

hour with him. About the same period, I once heard him preach; but still it was "foolishness to me," his sermon being principally upon the believer's experience, in some particulars with which I was unacquainted: so that, though I now loved and valued him, I considered him as a person misled by enthusiastical notions: and strenuously insisted that we should never think alike, till we met in heaven.

All along in the progress of this enquiry, I grew more and more concerned about my character. I saw myself continually verging nearer and nearer to that scheme of doctrine, which the world calls methodism; nor could I help it without doing violence to my convictions. I had indeed set out with the avowed, and I trust sincere, resolution of seeking the truth as impartially as possible; and of embracing it wherever I might find it without respect to interest, reputation, or any worldly consideration whatever. I had taken patiently, and sustained comfortably, the loss of my opening prospect of preferment; I trust chiefly from the supports of grace, and the consciousness of having acted with integrity; yet I am not sure that my deceitful heart might not also derive some support, from a vain imagination that my character would be no loser. Ambitious thirst after the praise of men was much more my peculiar corruption than coveteousness; and I had been in no ordinary degree proud of my natural understanding. I had been accustomed to hear the people called Methodists mentioned with contempt, as ignorant and deluded, as fools, and sometimes as madmen; and that with no small degree of complacency and self-preference, I too had