THE Dutchess of Montbason came to the Convent of the Benedictines, when I was about four years old. She had a high friendship for my father, and obtained his permission that I should go to the same Convent; for she took peculiar delight in my infant sportiveness, and a certain sweetness in my external deportment, with which God had endowed me: I accordingly became her constant 'coinpanion.

I FELL into frequent and dangerous disorders in. this house, and remember to have committed considerable faults. I here had good examples before me, and being naturally well inclined I quickly followed them, when there were none to turn me aside. I loved to hear God spoken of, to be at church, and dressed in a religious habit. One day I was told of the terrors of hell, which I imagined was merely to intimidate me, as I was exceedingly lively, and full of a little petulant vivacity, which they called wit; the succeeding night I dreamt of hell, and tho' I was so young, yet time has never since been able to efface the frightful ideas, which were then impressed upon my imagination: All appeared horrible darkness, where souls were punished, and my place amongst them was pointed out. At this I wept bitterly, and cried, Oh my God, if thou wilt have mercy upon me, and spare me yet a little longer, I will never more offend thee-And thou didst, O Lord, in mercy hearken unto my cry, and pour upon me strength and courage to serve thee, in an uncommon manner for one of my age. I wanted to go privately to confession, but being so little, the mistress of the boarders carried me to the priest, and stayed with me while I was heard singly; but she was much astonished when I came to mention, that I had had suggestions against the faith, and the confessor began to laugh, and enquire

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what they were. I told him that till then I had doubted there was such a place as hell, and supposed my mistress had spoken of it merely to make me good, but that now my doubts were all removed. After confession my heart glowed with a kind of fervour, and at one time I felt a desire to suffer martyrdom. The good girls of the house, to amuse themselves, and see how far this growing fervour would carry me, desired I should prepare. I found great fervency and delight in prayer on this occasion, and was persuaded that this ardour, which was as new as it was pleasing, was a proof of God's love; and this inspired me with such courage and resolution, that I earnestly besought them to proceed, that I might thereby enter into thy sacred presence. But was there not latent hypocrisy here? did I not imagine that it was possible they would not kill me, and that I should have the merit of martyrdom without suffering it. Indeed it appeared there was something of this nature in it; for being placed kneeling on a cloth spread for the purpose, and seeing behind me a large sword lifted up, which they had prepared to try how far my ardour would carry me. I cried, hold! it is not right I should die without first obtaining my father's permission. I was quickly upbraided with having said this that I might escape, and that I was no longer a martyr. I continued long disconsolate, and would receive no comfort; something inwardly reproved me, for not having embraced that opportunity of going to heaven, when it rested altogether on my own choice.

Ar my own solicitation, and on account of my falling so frequently sick, I was at length taken home; but not without having met a variety of little crosses, proportioned to my age. On my return, my mother having a maid in whom she

placed

placed a confidence, left me again to the care of servants. I must here mention a great fault, of which mothers are guilty, when under pretext of external devotions or other engagements, they suffer their daughters to be absent from them: nor can I forbear condemning, that unjust partiality with which parents treat some of their children; it is frequently productive of divisions in families, and even the ruin of some; whereas impartiality, by uniting children's hearts together, lays the foundation of lasting harmony and unanimity.

I WOULD I were able to convince parents, and all who have the care of youth, of the great attention they require, and how dangerous it is to let them be for any length of time from under their own eye, or to suffer them to be without some kind of employment. This negligence is the ruin of almost all females.-How many little Angels would we see, did not idleness and want of due restraint destroy every seed of virtue?

How greatly it is to be lamented, that mothers who are inclined to piety, should pervert the means of salvation into their destruction, and commit the greatest irregularities in pursuing that which should produce the most regular and circumspect conduct.

THUS because they experience certain sweetnesses in prayer, they would be all day long at church; mean while their children are running to destruction at home: the means to glorify God most is to prevent what may offend him. What must be the nature of that sacrifice which is the occasion of sin.-God should be served in his own, way, not in ours. so regulated as to

Let the devotion of mothers be prevent their daughters from straying:

straying they should treat them as sisters, not as slaves, and appear pleased with their little amusements;-thus the children will delight in the presence of their mothers instead of avoiding it; for if they find so much happiness with them, they will not dream of seeking any elsewhere. But mothers frequently deny their children any liberties; therefore like birds constantly confined to a cage, they no sooner find means to escape than off they go, and never more return; whereas in or der to render them tame and docile when young, they should be permitted sometimes to take wing; but as their flight is weak, and closely watched, it is easy to retake them when they escape; and this little flight gives them the habit of naturally returning to their cage, which becomes an agreeable confinement. I believe young girls should be treated in a manner something similar to this; mothers should indulge them in an innocent liberty, but never lose sight of them.

To guard the tender minds of children from what is wrong, much care should be taken to employ them in agreeable and useful matters; they should not be loaded with food they cannot relish; milk suited to babes should be administered to them, and not strong meat, which may so disgust them, that when they arrive at an age wherein it would be proper nourishment, they will not so much as taste it. Every day they should be obliged to read a little in some good book, and spend some time in prayer, which must be suited rather to stir the affections than for meditation. Oh were this method of education pursued, how speedily, would all disorder cease! these daughters becoming mothers, would educate their children as they themselves had been educated.

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PARENTS should also avoid shewing the smallest partiality in the treatment of their children; it begets a secret jealousy and hatred amongst them, which frequently augments with time, and even continues until death. How often do we see some children the idols of the house, behaving like absolute tyrants, and treating their brothers and sisters as so many slaves, according to the example of father and mother; and it happens many times, that the favourite proves a scourge to the parents, and the poor despised and hated one, becomes at length their whole consolation and support.

My mother was very defective in the educa tion of her children: She suffered me whole days from her presence, in company with the servants, whose conversation and example were particularly hurtful to one of my docile disposition. My mother's heart seemed wholly centered in my brother; so that I was scarcely ever favoured with the smallest instance of her tenderness or affection. I therefore voluntarily absented myself from her: it is true, my brother was more amiable than I, but the excess of her fondness for him, made her blind even to my outward good qualities, and served only to discover my faults, which would have been but trifling had proper care been taken of me.

CHAP.