I should find a refuge. All this she did unknown to us; and, as she has told us since, a superior force moved her to do it, without knowing the cause thereof. If she had deliberately reflected on it, being such a prudent lady, she probably would not have done it: For the persecutions, which the Bishop of Geneva procured us in that place, cost her more than a little of humiliations. Our LORD permitted him to pursue me, after a surprizing manner, into all the places I have been in, without giving me any relaxation, though I never did him any harm; but on the contrary would have lain down my life for the good of his diocese. As this fell out without any design on our part, we, without any hesitation, believed it was the will of God; and thought it might be the means of his appointment to draw us out of the reproach and persecution we laboured under, seeing myself chased on the one side, and desired on the other; it was therefore concluded that Father. La Combe should conduct me to Turin, and that he should go from thence to Verceil. BESIDE him I took with me a religious man of merit, who had taught Theology for fourteen years past, in order to do things with the more. decency, and to take away from our enemies all the subjects of slander. I also took with me a boy whom I had brought out of France, and who had learned the taylor's trade. They took horses, and I hired a litter for my daughter, my chamber-maid and myself: But all precautions are useless, when it pleases GOD to permit them to be frustrated. Our adversaries immediately wrote off to Paris. A hundred ridiculous stories were circulated ઃઃ circulated about this journey; comedies were acted on it, things invented at pleasure, and as false as any in the world could be. It was Father De La Mothe who was so active in uttering all this stuff. Had he believed it to be true, he ought out of charity to have concealed it; and much more, being so very false. They said, "I “I "was gone all alone with Father La Combe, strolling about the country, from province to pro66 vince," with " with many such fables, as weak and wicked as they were incoherent and badly put together. We suffered all with patience, without vindicating ourselves, or making any complaint: And if things be coolly and impartially considered, could I do any better in the condition I was in? Was it not both honourable and of real advantage for me to be with a lady of such quality and merit? Was it not sufficient to cut off the course of malediction? Do disorderly persons choose houses of that sort? But passion has no eyes, and calumny is a torrent which drowns all reason. SCARCE were we arrived at Turin, but the Bishop of Geneva wrote against us. As he could pursue us no other way, he did it by his letters. Father La Combe repaired to Verceil, and I staid at Turin, with the Marchioness of Prunai. But what crosses was I assaulted with in my own family, from the Bishop of Geneva, from the Barnabites, and from a vast number of persons besides! My eldest son came to find me out, on the death of my mother-in-law, which was an augmentation of my troubles; but after we had heard all his accounts of things, and how they had made sales of all the moveables, chosen Guardians, and settled every article, without consulting me me at all, I seemed to be there entirely useless. It was judged not proper for me to return, considering the rigour of the season. THE Marchioness of Prunai, who had been so warmly desirous of my company, seeing my great crosses and reproaches, looked coldly upon me. My child-like simplicity, which was the state. wherein at that time God kept me, passed with her for stupidity, though in that condition he inspired me to utter oracles; for when the question was to help any one, or about any thing which GOD required of me, he gave me, with the weakness of a child, which appeared in pure candour, the evident tokens of divine strength. Her heart was quite shut up to me all the time I was there. Our LORD however made me foretel all that should fall out, and which since that time has actually been fulfilled, as well to herself as to her daughter, and to the virtuous Ecclesiastic, who lived at her house. She did not fail, at last, to conceive more friendship for me, seeing then that CHRIST was in me. It was the force of selflove, and fear of reproach, which had closed up her heart. Moreover she thought her state more advanced than in reality it was, by reason of her being without probations; but she soon saw by experience that I had told her the truth. She was obliged for family reasons to leave Turin, and go to live on her own estate. She solicited me to go with her; but the education of my daughter did not permit my compliance. To stay at Turin without her seemed improper, because, having lived very retired in this place, I made no acquaintance in it. I knew not which way to turn. The Bishop of Verceil, where Father La Combe was, most obligingly wrote to me, earnestly earnestly entreating me to come thither, promising me his protection, and assuring me of his es teem, adding, "that he should look upon me as "his own sister; that he wished extremely to "have me there." It was his own sister, a religious of the visitation of Turin, one of my particular friends, who had wrote to him about me, as had also a French gentleman, an acquaintance of his. But a point of honour kept me from it. I would not have it said that I had gone after Father La Combe, and that I had come to Turin, only for the purpose of going to Verceil. He had also his reputation to preserve, which was the cause that he could not agree to my going thither, however importunate the Bishop was for it. Had we believed it to be the will of GOD, we should both of us have passed over these considerations. GOD kept us both in so great a dependance on his orders, that he did not let us foreknow them; but the divine moment of his Providence determined every thing. This proved of very great service to Father La Combe, who had long walked in assurances, to die to them and to himself; for GOD by an effect of his goodness, that he might thus die without any reserve, took them all away from him. DURING the whole time of my residence at Turin, our LORD conferred on me very great favours. I found myself every day more transformed into him, and had continually more knowledge of the state of souls, without ever being mistaken or deceived therein, though some were willing to persuade me to think the contrary. I had used my utmost endeavours to give myself other thoughts, which has cost me not a little. For when I told, or wrote to Father Rr La Combe La Combe about the state of some souls, which appeared to him more perfect and advanced than the knowledge given to me of them, he attribut ed it to pride; he was very angry with me, and prejudiced against my state. I had no uneasiness on account of his esteeming me the less, for I was not in a condition to reflect whether he esteemed me or not. He could not reconcile (GOD so permitting it, to take from him every support) an obedience to a miracle in most things, with so extraordinary a firmness, which in certain cases he looked on as criminal. He admitted a distrust of my grace; for he was not yet sufficiently confirmed in his way, nor did he duly comprehend, that it did not in any wise depend on me, to be either one way or other; and that if I had any such power, I should have suited myself to what he said, to spare myself the crosses which that caused me; or at least would have artfully dissembled my real sentiments. But I could do neither. Were all to perish by it, I was in such a manner constrained, that I could notrbear telling him the things, just as our LOR directed me to tell them to him. In this he has given me an inviolable fidelity to the very last. No crosses or pains have ever made me fail a moment therein. These things then, which appeared to him to be the strong prejudice of a concerted opinion, set him at variance against me. And though he did not openly shew it, but on the contrary tried to conceal it from me, yet how far distant soever he were from me, I could not be ignorant of it; my spirit felt it, and that more or less, as the opposition was stronger or weaker; and as soon as it abated or ended, my pain, occasioned thereby, ceased. He also on his side, experienced the like. He has told me and wrote to me |