corum

As I was in this uncertainty, not knowing what course to take, one came to tell me that next day a shallop would set off, which used to go in one day to Genoa; and that if I chose it, they would land me at Savona, from whence I might get myself carried to the Marchioness of Prunai's house. To that I consented, as I could not be supplied with any other way of getting thither.

I HAD Some joy at embarking on the sea. I said in myself, "If I am the dregs of the earth, the "scorn and offscouring of nature, I am now go

ing to embark on the element which above all "others is the most treacherous; if it be the "LORD's pleasure to plunge me in the waves, it "shall be mine to perish in them." There came a tempest in a place pretty dangerous for a small boat; and the mariners were some of the wickedest. The irritation of the waves gave a satisfaction to my mind. I pleased myself in thinking that those mutinous billows might probably supply me with a grave. Perhaps I carried the point too far in the pleasure I took, at seeing myself beaten and bandied by the swelling waters. Those who were with me, took notice of my intrepidity, but knew not the cause of it. I asked of thee, my Love, some little hole of a rock to be placed in, there to live separate from all creatures. I figured to myself, that some uninhabited island would have terminated all my disgraces, and put me in a condition of infallibly doing thy will. But, oh my divine Love, thou designed me a prison far different from that of the rock, and quite another banishment than that of the uninhabited island. Thou reserved me to be battered by billows, more irritated than those of the sea. Calumnies proved the outrageous unrelenting waves, to which I was

to

to be exposed, in order to be lashed and tossed by them without mercy. By the tempest swelling against us we were kept back, and instead of a short day's passage to Genoa, we were eleven days in making it. How peaceable was my heart in so violent an agitation! The swelling of the sea, and the fury of its waves were as I thought, only a figure of that swelling fury which all the creatures had against me. I said to thee, oh my Love," Arm them all to avenge thyself on me "for my infidelities, and for those of all the "creatures." I saw thy right hand armed against me; and I loved more than my life the strokes it gave me. We could not land at Savona. We were obliged to go on to Genoa. We arrived there in the beginning of the week before Easter.

WHILE I was there I was obliged to bear the insults of the inhabitants, caused by the resentment they had against the French, for the havock of a late bombardment. The Doge was newly gone out of the city, and had carried off with him all the litters. Wherefore I could not get one, and was obliged to stay several days at excessive expences; for the people there demanded of us exorbitant sums, and as much for every single person as they would have asked for a com pany at the best eating-house in Paris. I had little money left, but my store in Providence could not be exhausted. I begged with the greatest earnestness for a litter at any price, to pass the feast of Easter at the Marchioness of Prunai's house. It was then within three days of Easter; and I could scarce any way get myself to be understood. By the force of intreaty, they brought me at length a sorry litter with lame mules, and told me that they would take me rea

dily to Verceil, which was only two days journey, but demanded an enormous sum for it; they would not engage to take me to the Marchioness of Prunai's house, as they knew not where her estate lay. This was to me a strong mortification; for I was very unwilling to go to Verceil; nevertheless the proximity of Easter, and want of money, in a country where they used every kind of extortion and tyranny, left me no choice. I was under an absolute necessity of submitting to be thus conveyed to Verceil.

THUS Providence led me whither I would not. Our muleteer was one of the most brutal men to be met with; and for an increase of my affliction, I had sent away to Verceil the ecclesiastic who accompanied us, to prevent their surprize at seeing me there, after I had protested against going thither. That ecclesiastic was very coarsely treated on the road, through the hatred they bore to the French; and they made him go part of the way on foot, so that, though he set off the day before me, he arrived there only a few hours sooner than I did. And as for the fellow who conducted us, seeing he had only women under his care, he used us in the most insolent and bearish manner.

WE passed through a wood infested with robbers. The muleteer was afraid, and told us, "that, if we met any of them on the road, we "should be murdered; for they spared nobody." Scarce had he uttered these words, when there appeared four men well armed. They immedi ately stopped the litter. The man was exceedingly frighted. I made a light bow of my head, with a smile, for I had no fear, and was so en

tirely resigned to providence, that it was all one to die this way or any other; in the sea, or by the hands of robbers. But oh my God, how wonderful at this, as at many other times, was thy protection over me! How many perils have I passed through upon mountains, and on the yery edges of tremendous steep rocks! How of ten hast thou checked the foot of the mule already slipping over the precipice! How often have I been like to be thrown headlong from those frightful heights, into hideous torrents which, though rolling in chasms far below our shrinking sight, forced us to hear them by their horrible noise. When the dangers were most manifest, then was my faith the strongest, as well as my intrepidity, being unable to wish for any thing else than what should fall out, whether to be dashed against the rocks, drowned, or killed any other way; every thing in the will of God being equal to me. The people who used to convey or attend me said, "they had never seen a courage like mine;" for the most alarming dangers, and the time when death appeared the most certain, were those which seemed to please me the most. Was it not thy pleasure, oh my Gon, which guarded me in every imminent danger, and held me back from rolling down the precipice, on the instant of sliding over its dizzy brow? The more easy I was about life, which I bore only because thou wast pleased to bear it, the more care thou tookest to preserve it. There seemed a mutual emulation betwixt us, on my part to resign it, and on thine to maintain it. The robbers then advanced to the litter; but I had no sooner saluted them, than God made them change their design. Hav. ing pushed off one another, as it were to hinder each of them from doing any harm; they re

spectfully

spectfully saluted me, and, with an air of compassion, unusual to such sorts of persons, retired.· I was immediately struck to the heart, oh my Love, with a full and clear conviction that it was a stroke of thy right hand, who had other designs over me than to suffer me to die by the handof robbers. It is thy sovereign power which takes away their all from thy devoted lovers; and destroys their lives with all that is of self without pity or sparing any thing.

THE muleteer, seeing me attended only with two young women, thought he might treat me as he would, perhaps expecting to draw money from me. Instead of taking me to the inn, he brought me to a mill, in which there was not one woman. There was but one single chamber with several beds in it, in which the millers and muleteers lay together. In that chamber they forced me to stay. I told the muleteer I was not a person to lie in such a place as he had brought me to; and wanted to oblige him to take me to the inn; but nothing of it would he do. I was constrained to go out on foot, at ten o'clock at night, carrying a part of my clothes, and to go a good way more than a quarter of a league of that country, where the leagues are very long, in the dark, in a strange place, not knowing the way, crossing one end of the wood infested with robbers, to endeavour to get to the inn. That fellow, seeing us go off from the place where he had wanted to make me lodge, with a bad design hooted after us in a very abusive manner. I bore my humiliation chearfully, not without feeling it. But the will of GOD and my resignation to it rendered every thing easy to me. We were well received at the inn; And the good people there did the best