to suffer me to take the least honour to myself, of any thing which he has been pleased to do by me for the good of others. I am only a poor NOTHING. GOD is all powerful. He delights to operate, and exercise his power by mere NOTHINGS.

THE first time that I wrote a history of myself it was very short. In it I had particularized my faults and sins, and said little of the favours of GOD. I was ordered to burn it, to write another, and in it to omit nothing, any way remarkable that had befallen me. I did it. It is a crime to publish the secrets of the King; but it is a good thing to declare the favours of the LORD our GOD, and to magnify his mercies the more by the meanness of the subject on which he confers them. If herein I have failed, the fire will try and purify it all. When I first gave myself to the LORD it was without any reserve: And for every thing of mine, which I only did out of obedience, I am content with whatever may be permitted, or ordained, as best in the case. It is my consolation that GOD is not less great, perfect or happy, for any mistakes or errors of mine. My soul can do nothing else but love him, and repose itself in his love. It seems that what proceeds from me flows from that source: And since as many as are led by the Spirit of GOD are the children of GOD, an humble hope attends me that I appertain to his family.

CHAP. XV.

[THE general outcry encreases. Mad. Maintenon is gained over, and becomes prejudiced against her. She writes to her by the Duke of Beauvilliers, and requests an appointment of persons to examine into her Life and Doctrine, offering to

retire

retire into any prison, till fully exculpated. But her proposal is rejected. Mons. Fouquet, one of her most intimate friends and relations dies; he had been her steady and constant support. She feels the loss, but rejoices in his felicity, for he had been a true servant of GOD.]

BEING now determined to retire out of the way of giving offence to any, I wrote to some of my friends, and bade them a last farewell; not knowing whether I were to be carried off by the indisposition which I then laboured under, which had been a constant fever for forty days past, or to recover from it. I wrote further, "That I prayed "GOD to finish in them the good work he had "begun, that, if I had contributed any good to "them by his grace, he would not be unmindful "to preserve in them that which was his own, "viz. the renunciation of themselves, to bear the 66 cross, to follow JESUS CHRIST with hearts fil"led with his pure love; that they might judge it "was for them, and not for myself that I de"prived myself of all commerce with them, by "whom I had often been much edified; but now, "if I stayed, I might hurt them without designing

it, and be an occasion of trouble and scandal "to them; that I therefore desired them to look upon me as a thing forgotten."

66

[SHE writ them a long letter; mentioning in it her particular enemies, one of whom is the Curate of Versailles, who had formerly professed a high esteem for her, visited her often, declared his sentiments were the same with hers; but of late he had imagined, that she had drawn away the Countess of G. and the Duchess of M. from under his direction. Hereupon she writes, " When

"these

έτ

these ladies and others were in the vanities of "the world, when they patched and painted, and "some of them were in the way to ruin their fa"milies by gaming and profusion of expence in dress, nobody arose to say any thing against "it, they were quietly suffered to do it. When they have broke off from all this, then they "cry out against me, as if I had ruined them. "Had I drawn them from piety into luxury,

they would not make such an outcry. The "Duchess of M. at her giving herself up to "GOD, thought herself obliged to quit the Court, "which was to her like a dangerous rock, in order to bestow her time on the education of her children and the care of her family, which till then she had neglected. I beseech you there"fore to gather all the memorials you can against

me: And if I am found guilty of the things (i they accuse me of, I ought to be punished "more than any other, since GOD has brought me to know him and love him, and I am well "assured that there is no communion betwixt CHRIST and BELIAL."

I SENT them at the same time my two little printed books, with my commentaries. on the Holy Scriptures. I also, by their order, set about a work to facilitate their examination, and to spare them as much time and trouble as I could, which was to collect a great number of passages out of approved mystic writers, which shewed the conformity of my writings with those used by the holy penmen. It was a large work. I caused them to be transcribed by the quire, as I had writ them, in order to send them to the three commissioners. I also, as occasion presented, cleared up the dubious and obscure places; for, as I had writ them at a time when the affairs of Molinos had

not broke out, I used the less precaution in expressing my thoughts, not imagining that they would ever be turned into an evil sense. This work was entitled the Justifications; it was composed in fifty days, and appeared to be very sufficient to clear up the matter. But the Bishop of Meaux would never suffer it to be read.*

A

CHAP. XVIII.

FTER all the examinations, and making nothing out against me, who would not have thought but they would have left me to rest in peace? But quite otherwise, the more my innocence appeared, the more did they, who had undertaken to render me criminal, put every spring in motion to effect it. I offered the Bishop of Meaux to go to spend some time in any community within his diocese, that he might be better acquainted with me. He proposed to me that of St. Mary de Meaux, which I accepted, but in going thither in the depth of winter I had like to have perished in the snow, being stopt four hours, the coach having entered into it, and being almost buried in it, in a deep hollow. I was drawn out at the coach door with one maid. We sat upon the snow, resigned to the mercy of GOD, and expected nothing but death. I never had more tranquillity of mind, though chilled and soaked with the snow, which melted on us. Occasions like these are such as shew whether we are perfectly resigned to GoD or not. This poor girl and I were easy in our minds, in a state of entire resignation, though sure of dying if we passed the night there, and seeing no likelihood

of

* It has since been printed in three vols. small 8vo.

of any coming to our succour. At length some waggoners came up, who with difficulty drew us through the snow.

THE Bishop, when he heard of it, was astonished, and had no little self-complacency to think that I had thus risqued my life to obey him so punctually: And yet afterwards he gave all this the names of artifice and hypocrisy. Thus men who look at the tree, with an evil eye, account its fruits to be all evil. It is a strange hypocrisy which endures through one's whole life, and which far from bringing with it any advantage in this world, causes only crosses, calumnies, poverty, persecutions and every kind of afflictions. I think one never has seen any hypocrisy like this. There are only two objects which hypocrites have in view; either to win the esteem of men or to make a fortune. I am certainly a bad hypocrite, and have learned the trade badly. I take God to witness, that if to be Empress of the whole earth, and canonized while living, I must have gone through what I have done, (which was with the single view of being devoted to GOD without any reserve,) I would rather have begged my bread, and died as a criminal. Thus I render testimony for myself in the presence of GOD. "That I "have not desired to please any but him alone; "that I have sought him only for himself; and "that I dread every selfish interest of my own "worse than death; that so long a series of per"secutions, which in all likelihood will last as long as my life, has never made me change "sentiment, nor repent of having given myself wholly to him, and of having left all for him.

THERE were times indeed when I found nature overcharged: But the love of GOD and his

grace