"before persons to whom it would give offence: "Moreover, as I am your Mistress, GoD is as"suredly offended therewith." She left me that moment, and ran like a mad woman to meet my husband, telling him," she would stay no lon

ger, I treated her so ill, and that I hated her "for the care she took of him in his indispositi"ons, which were continual, wanting her not to "do any service for him." As my husband was very hasty, he took fire at these words. I finished the dressing of myself alone, since she had left me, and durst not call another girl; for she would not suffer another girl to come near me. All on a sudden, I saw my husband coming like a Lion, for he never was in such a transport as this. I thought he was going to strike me; I expected the blow with tranquillity; he threatened me with his lifted crutch; I thought he was going to knock me down with it; and holding myself closely united to God, I beheld it without pain. However he did not strike me, for he had presence of mind enough to see what an indignity it would be; but in his rage he threw it at me. It fell near me, but did not touch me; after which he discharged himself in such language, as if I had been a street beggar, or the most infamous of all creatures. I kept a profound silence, being recollected in GoD, to suffer for his love all these things. The girl in the mean time comes in. At the sight of her his rage redoubles. I kept near to GOD, as a victim disposed to suffer whatever he would permit; when my husband ordered me to beg her pardon, which I readily did, and thereby appeased him. I went presently into my dear closet, where I no sooner was, than my divine Director impelled me to make this girl a present, to recompense her for the cross which she had

caused

caused me, which I did. She was a little astonished, but her heart was too hard to be gained.

I OFTEN acted thus, for she very frequently gave me such opportunities. She had a singular dexterity in attending the sick, and my husband was so almost continually: from hence none but her would be suffered to touch him. For this reason he had a very great regard for her. Moreover, she was so artful that before him she affected an extraordinary respect for me; but when he was not present, if I said a word to her, though with the greatest mildness; if she heard him coming, she cried out with all her might, that she was unhappy; and acted the distressed in such a manner, that, without informing himself of the truth, he was irritated against me, as was my mother-in-law too.

THE violence I did to my proud and hasty nature was so great, that I could hold out no longer. I was quite spent with it. It seemed sometimes as if I was inwardly rent, and I have often fallen sick with the struggle. She did not forbear ex claiming against me, even before persons of distinction, who came to see me. If I was silent, she took offence at that yet more, and said, "I "despised her." She cry'd me down, and made complaints of me to every body: But all this redounded to my honour and her own disgrace: My reputation was so well established, on account of my exterior modesty, my devotion, and the great acts of charity which I did, that nothing could shake it.

SOMETIMES she ran out into the very street, crying out against me. One time she exclaimed,

"Am

Am not I very unhappy to have such a mistress?" People gathered about her to know what I had done to her; and not knowing what to say, she answered, "I had not spoken to her all the day." They returned, laughing, and said, "She "has done you no great harm then."

I am surprized at the blindness of confessors, and at their permitting their penitents to conceal so much of the truth from them-for the confessor of this girl made her pass for a saint. This he said in my hearing. I answered nothing; for Love would not admit me speaking of my troubles; but that I should consecrate them all to him by a profound silence.

My husband was out of humour with my devotion, it became insupportable to him, "what says Ke, you love GoD so much, that you love me no longer;" so little did he comprehend that the true conjugal love is that which GOD himself forms in the heart that loves him. Oh, thou who art pure and holy, thou imprinted in me from the first such a love of chastity, that there was nothing in the world which I would not have undergone to possess and preserve it. I endeavoured not to be disagreeable to my husband in any thing, and to please him in every thing he could require of me. gave me such a purity of soul at that time, that I had not so much as a bad thought. Sometimes my husband said to me, "One sees plainly "that you never lose the presence of GOD."

GOD

THE world, seeing I quitted it, persecuted and turned me into ridicule. I was its entertainment, and the subject of its fables. It could not bear M

that

that a woman, who was scarce twenty years of age, should thus make war against it, and overcome. My mother-in-law took part with the world, and blamed me for not doing many things, that in her heart she would have been highly offended had I done them. I was as one lost, and all alone: So little commerce had I with the creatures, farther than necessity required. I seemed to experience literally those words of St. PAUL, "I live, yet, no more I, but CHRIST liveth in "me;" for he was become the soul of my soul, and the life of my life. His operations were so powerful, so sweet, and so secret, all together, that I could not express them. We went into the country about some business. Oh! What unutterable communications did I there experience in retirement !

I WAS insatiable for prayer, I arose at four o'clock in the morning to pray. I went very far to the church, which was so situated that the coach could not come to it. There was a steep hill to go down and another to ascend. All that cost me

nothing: I had such a longing desire to meet with GOD, as my only good, who on his part was graciously forward to give himself to his poor creature, and for it to do even visible miracles. Such as saw me lead a life so very different from the women of the world, said I was a fool. They attributed it to stupidity. Sometimes they said, "What can all this mean? "Some people think this lady has parts, but no"thing of them appears." For if I went into company, often I could not speak; so much was I engaged within, so inward with the Lord, as not to attend to any thing else: If any near me spoke,

spoke, I heard nothing of what they said. I generally took one with me, that this might not appear. I took some work, to hide under that appearance, the real employ of my heart. When I was alone, the work dropped out of my hands: and I could do nothing else but resign myself to be wholly taken up with love, I wanted to persuade a relation of my husband's to practise pray

er.

She thought me a fool, for depriving myself of all the amusements of the age: But the Lord has since opened her eyes, to make her despise them. I could have wished to teach all the world to love God; and thought it depended only on them to feel what I felt. GOD made use of my thinking thus, to gain many souls to himself.

THE good father I have spoken of, who was the instrument of my conversion, brought me acquainted with GENEVIEVE GRANGER, prioress of the Benedictines, one of the greatest servants of GOD of her time. She proved of very great service to me, as in the sequel will appear. My confessor, who had told every one that I was a saint before, when so full of miseries, and so far from the condition to which GoD in his mercy had now brought me, seeing I placed a confidence in the Father of whom I have spoken, and that I steered in a road which was unknown to him, declared openly against me: And the monks of his order persecuted me much. They even preached publickly against me, as a person under a delusion.

My husband and mother-in-law, who till now had been indifferent about this confessor, then joined him and ordered me to leave off prayer,

and