"(2) A supreme affection can exist only between two. "(3) In the very nature of the case, therefore, since a supreme affection is the only natural basis of marriage, the law of monogamy is scientifically justified. "(4) It follows, also, that, until a supreme affection exists, a marriage cannot take place naturally. "(5) The fact of the existence of a supreme affection between two is to be ascertained by adequate tests. "(6) When only those who have an adequately tested supreme affection for each other are married, no fundamentally unhappy marriages will occur. "(7) Every marriage without a supreme affection is against natural, and ought to be against social law. "(8) When marriages are natural, according to this definition, the best possible means for the preservation of the best of the race are brought into action. "(9) When marriages are natural, according to this definition, children's rights are likely to be adequately protected. "(10) When marriage is natural, according to this definition, the family obtains in marriage its scientific justification. "(11) When marriages and families are natural in this sense, all infidel attacks become futile and blasphemous from the point of view of the scientific method." The same noted investigator and lecturer suggests the following as among adequate tests of a supreme affection: "(1) Willingness to renew an engagement if it be supposed to be broken off. "(2) Unforced tendency to form a resolution never to belong to another. "(3) The transmutation of selfishness into delight in self-sacrifice for the person loved. "(4) The interchange of eyes in many moods. "(5) The effects of absence, rivalry, and time. "(6) The advice of science as to mental and physical adaptation. "(7) The choice of a life pursuit. "(8) Assent of the other powerful passions. "(9) The opinion of friends who know the whole case. "(10) Opportunity to know the worst of each other." * "Marriage," Lectures II., VII. In modern times marriages are of three kinds, each originating from a distinct cause: The first is produced by the mere ambitious desire to share a home, a name, a title, or a fortune; the second originates in a mere romantic impulse founded in passion, imagination, or both combined; the third is the ethical marriage, founded upon affection and a lofty ideal of duty. This last kind of marriage is the highest type yet known. It is the marriage of a man and a woman who, in all sincerity, believe that their union is justified by a concurrence of an unmistakable affection, compounded about equally of passion, admiration, and respect; physical fitness for parenthood; ability to maintain a respectable and pleasant home; and a high sense of the privilege and the duty of transmitting their qualities and their culture to their children. It regards a genuine love as the most sacred thing in the world except duty, but duty it places first, and in the list of imperative duties it includes the bearing and right training of children by the vigorous and intelligent portion of the population. It, in short, subordinates all lesser considerations to the development and perpetuation of that rational personality which is the supreme end for which society in its entirety exists. It consciously selects, cultivates, and transmits the fairer fruits of a rational and Christian civilization; and by its discipline and nurture of the welcome and untainted child in the robust virtue of self-control and an unswerving allegiance to duty, it is the only radical cure for social degeneracy.* 2. Husband and wife. They complement each other, each filling out that wherein the other is lacking. They unite to make the completeness of a perfect human being. Tennyson says: "The woman's cause is man's; they rise or sink If she be small, slight-natured, miserable, Let man be more of woman, she of man; He gain in sweetness and in moral height, Nor lose the wrestling thews that throw the world; Nor lose the childlike in the larger mind; Till at the last she set herself to man, Like perfect music unto noble words; And so these twain, upon the skirts of time, Sit side by side, full-summed in all their powers, *Giddings' "Principles of Sociology," page 352. Dispensing harvest, sowing the To-be, But like each other even as those who love. Then comes the statlier Eden back to men; Then reign the world's great bridals, chaste and calm; Then springs the crowning race of human kind. May these things be!" To aid the husband and wife to make this poetic dream a reality the following suggestions are offered: (1) While the family in its idea is a divine institution, like all other good things it costs the anxious toil of human heads and hearts and hands to embody this idea in flesh and blood, and bring it to perfection. It is not a ready-made article; it grows. It will not spontaneously grow unto a beautiful ideal condition without human effort; only thorns and briars, thistles and weeds attain perfection unaided. The family reaches its perfection by thoughtful, prayerful, loving, sympathetic, united effort on the part of its members. (2) It is a necessity for the husband and wife to get acquainted, to fully understand each other. Strange as it may seem, their past relations to each other have not been favorable to this kind of knowledge. They should learn early in their married life each other's strength and weakness, hopes and fears, likes and dislikes, aspirations and ideals. This knowledge of each other is absolutely essential to happiness and success. But it must be associated with that rational love which supplements all weakness, allays all fears, removes all dislikes, and glorifies both the lover and the beloved; or this knowledge will create a condition of bondage, instead of giving royal liberty to each. (3) Husband and wife should learn early to compromise their differences. In all organized existence harmonious action is a result of compromise. Human life as well as nature is a system of checks and balances compromises. No one element or power is allowed full, unlimited sway. The order of the systems, the alternations of day and night, heat and cold, land and water, mountain and plain, the flow of the rivers and the stability of the oceans, are results of equilibrium among forces, any one of which exercising its unchecked tendency would bring swift destruction to all. Compromise makes our safety. Society likewise rests upon this basis. So it is in the nation, the church, and the family. Wedded love, true family life, is impossible except as a result of compromise. The man or woman who attempts to live without it will make a miserable failure, and must become either a selfish tyrant or an abject slave. Let it be felt that there must be giving up on all sides,-the self-sacrifice of love,— let that giving up be guided by principle, and we have a law of family life which will prevent infinite trouble, and insure the best harmony. It is the bond of that surest unity-unity in variety.* (4) Always be silent when either one offers thoughtless or intentional provocation. The tongue is an unruly member, and hasty words stir up strife. Master the tongue, and peace will abide in the family. This is part of the wisdom of life. 3. Parents and children. No family is complete that lacks the presence of children. No family is perfect in its elements till both boys and girls are in it. The self-sacrifice and the thoughtfulness incident to children, either born or adopted into the family, are the best possible means to develop and perfect the social nature of the parents, and to give them social sympathy, social insight, and social efficiency in the wider circles of life. The family where no child is, and where none is welcome, is an extremely selfish family in relation to all society. If none are born into the family, some should be adopted, to save the husband and wife from utter selfishness, as well as for some poor child's sake. Of course, all know that there are noble exceptions to this statement; as in the case of missionaries and others devoting their lives to social welfare, whose sons and daughters are those to whom they minister. It is the right of every child to be born with a good heredity; and when its advent into this world has engaged the wise forethought of the parents it will have this right. It is also the right of every child to have such nurture and training as will fit it for right relations to God, to society, and to itself; it has a right to be trained for a useful, virtuous life. The prolonged period of childhood and youth, and the sacred and endearing relations of parents to children, make the family the best school the child will ever know, when proper use is made of these relations. Here right habits may be formed while the child's nature is as plastic as clay in the hands of a potter; the sharp, angular nature may be rounded off by associations with the other members of the family; domestic and social customs, correct and proper manners and courtesies, so necessary to a truly social life, may all be best learned here; the right use *See Ware's "Home Life," Introduction. of language, and the beginning of all kinds of knowledge, and the foundations of all noble character may have their best beginnings in the place where love reigns-in the family. In the change from monarchy to democracy in our country, all social organizations share in the same spirit of freedom, authority is more distributed, and the people have wider liberty. This is the true explanation of the weakening of parental authority in the family. But this passing from monarchy to greater liberty will be a real gain if the family government be modeled on the ideal of the republic. Then, in the family, the parents will be president and vice-president, and the children, as soon as old enough, will be made members of the cabinet; and when important events arise in this little republic, they will be discussed by the whole cabinet,-parents and children,-the parents reserving only a wise veto power. This method of government will secure unity of interests and ideals in the family, a most important matter. 4. Brothers and sisters. Every ideal family has in it children of both sexes. This is nature's method of giving to each sex a truer vision and a nobler appreciation of the other in the wider realms of social life. Under the wise nurture of the parents, the affections of brothers and sisters for each other, beginning in infancy, may extend to the end of life. These bonds are increased in strength by little acts of self-sacrifice in yielding to each other's right wishes, planning for each other's enjoyment, and in the offerings or other surprises on birthdays and on other holidays. These are acts not costly, but chiefly requiring thoughtfulness and good will, yet they are seeds all youth should be encouraged to sow, as society will reap from such sowing a golden harvest in the growth of the social spirit. The common experiences of daily life, as eating, playing, singing, reading, suffering, and rejoicing together will create a sympathy between brothers and sisters, fitting them to enjoy the relations of companions and confidants of each other. When they have learned thus to confide and to find delight in each other's companionship, the sister is a guardian angel to her brother, the purity of her maiden life surrounding him like a charmed atmosphere; and the brother will never allow his sister to want an escort, or to depend on the attentions of a friend. "I never asked my brother to go anywhere with me and had him refuse," is a wreath of honor on that brother's head. Let the children be taught at an early age that the family has a |