From Mars his forge, fent to Minerva's schools,
To learn th' unlucky art of wheedling fools.
With itch of honour, and opinion, vain,
All things beyond their native worth we ftrain:
The fpoils of war, brought to Feretrian Jove,
An empty coat of armour hung above
The conqueror's chariot, and in triumph borne,
A ftreamer from a boarded galley torn,
A chap-faln beaver loosely hanging by
The cloven helm, an arch of victory,
On whofe high convex fits a captive foe,
And fighing cafts a mournful look below;
Of ev'ry nation, each illuftrious name,
Such toys as thefe have cheated into fame:
Exchanging folid quiet, to obtain
The windy fatisfaction of the brain.
So much the thirft of honour fires the blood;
So many would be great, fo few be good.
For who would Virtue for herself regard,
Or wed, without the portion of reward?
Yet this mad chace of fame, by few pursu'd,
Has drawn destruction on the multitude:
This avarice of praise in times to come,
Thofe long infcriptions, crowded on the tomb,
Should fome wild fig-tree take her native bent,
And heave below the gaudy monument,
Would crack the marble titles, and difperfe
The characters of all the lying verfe.
For fepulchres them felves muft crumbling fall
In time's abyss, the common grave of all.
Great Hannibal within the balance lay; And tell how many pounds his afhes weigh; Whom Afric was not able to contain,
Whofe length runs level with th' Atlantic main,
8 This is a mock-account of a Roman triumph.
And wearies fruitful Nilus, to convey
His fun-beat waters by fo long a way;
Which Ethiopia's double clime divides,
And elephants in other mountains hides.
Spain first he won, the Pyrenæans paft,
And steepy Alps, the mounds that nature cast :
And with corroding juices, as he went,
A paffage through the living rocks he rent.
Then, like a torrent, rolling from on high,
He pours his head-long rage on Italy;
In three victorious battles over-run ;
Yet ftill uneafy, cries, There's nothing done,
Till level with the ground their gates are laid;
And Punic flags on Roman tow'rs difplay'd..
Afk what a face belong'd to his high fame:
His picture scarcely would deserve a frame :
A fign-post dawber would disdain to paint
The one-ey'd hero on, his elephant.
Now what's his end, O charming Glory! fay
What rare fifth act to crown his huffing play?
In one deciding battle overcome,
He flies, is banish'd from his native home:
Begs refuge in a foreign court, and there
Attends, his mean petition to prefer ;
Repuls'd by furly grooms, who wait before
The fleeping tyrant's interdicted door.
What wond'rous fort of death has heav'n defign'd, Diftinguish'd from the heard of human kind, For fo untam'd, fo turbulent a mind! Nor fwords at hand, nor hiffing darts afar, Are doom'd t' avenge the tedious bloody war; But poison, drawn thro' a ring's hollow plate, Muft finish him; a fucking infant's fate. Go, climb the rugged Alps, ambitious fool, To please the boys, and be a theme at school. One world fuffic'd not Alexander's mind; Coop'd up, he feem'd in earth and feas confin'd:
And, ftruggling, ftretch'd his restless limbs about
The narrow globe, to find a paffage out.
Yet 9 enter'd in the brick-built town, he try'd
The tomb, and found the ftrait dimenfions wide:
"Death only this mysterious truth unfolds,
"The mighty foul, how fmall a body holds."
Old Greece a tale of Athos would make out,
Cut from the continent, and sail'd about;
Seas hid with navies, chariots paffing o'er
The channel, on a bridge from shore to shore:
Rivers, whofe depth no fharp beholder fees,
Drunk at an army's dinner, to the lees;
With a long legend of romantic things,
Which in his cups the bowfy poet fings.
But how did he return, this haughty brave,
Who whipt the winds, and made the fea his flave?
(Though Neptune took unkindly to be bound;
And Eurus never fuch hard ufage found
In his Eolian prison under ground;
What God fo mean, ev'n 2 he who points the way,
So merciless a tyrant to obey!
But how return'd he, let us afk again?
In a poor fkiff he pafs'd the bloody main,
Choak'd with the flaughter'd bodies of his train.
9 Babylon, where Alexander died.
Xerses is reprefented in hiftory, after a very romantick manner, affecting fame beyond measure, and doing the most extravagant things to compass it. Mount Athos made a prodigious promontory in the Egean fea: He is faid to have cut a channel through it, and to have failed round it. He made a bridge of boats over the Hellefpont, where it was three miles broad: And ordered a whipping for the winds and feas, because they had once croffed his defigns, as we have a very folemn account of it in Herodotus. But, after all thefe vain boasts, he was fhamefully beaten by Themistocles at Salamis; and returned home, leaving most of his fleet behind him.
2 Mercury, who was a God of the lowest fize, and employed always in errands between heaven and hell, and mortals ufed him accordingly For his ftatues were anciently placed, where roads met ; with directions on the fingers of them, pointing out the feveral ways to travellers,
For fame he pray'd, but let th' event declare
He had no mighty penn'worth of his pray'r.
Jove grant me length of life, and years good ftore Heap on my bended back, I ask no more. Both fick and healthful, old and young confpire In this one filly mischievous defire. Miftaken bleffing which old age they call, 'Tis a long, nafty, darksome hospital, A ropy chain of rheums; a vifage rough, Deform'd, unfeatur'd, and a skin of buff. A ftitch-faln cheek, that hangs below the jaw; Such wrinkles, as a skilful hand would draw For an old grandam ape, when, with a grace, She fits at fquat, and fcrubs her leathern face. In youth, diftinctions infinite abound; No fhape, or feature, just alike are found; The fair, the black, the feeble, and the ftrong; But the fame foulness does to age belong, The self-fame palfy, both in limbs and tongue. The skull and forehead one bald barren plain; And gums unarm'd to mumble meat in vain. Befides th' eternal drivel, that supplies
The dropping beard, from noftrils, mouth and eyes.
His wife and children loath him, and, what's worse,
Himfelf does his offenfive carrion curfe!
Flatt'rers forfake him too; for who would kill
Himself, to be remember'd in a will?
His tafte not only pall'd to wine and meat,
But to the relish of a nobler treat.
The limber nerve, in vain provok'd to rise,
Inglorious from the field of battle flies :
Poor feeble dotard, how could he advance.
With his blue head-piece, and his broken lance
Add, that endeavouring ftill without effect,
A luft more fordid juftly we suspect.
Thofe fenfes loft, behold a new defeat,
The foul diflodging from another feat.
What mufic, or enchanting voice, can chear
A ftupid, old, impenetrable ear?
No matter in what place, or what degree
Of the full theatre he fits to fee:
Cornets and trumpets cannot reach his ear:
Under an actor's nofe, he's never near.
His boy must bawl, to make him understand
The hour o' th' day, or such a lord's at hand :
The little blood that creeps within his veins,
Is but just warm'd in a hot fever's pains.
In fine, he wears no limb about him found:
With fores and fickneffes beleaguer'd round :
Afk me their names, I fooner could relate
How many drudges on falt Hippia wait;
What crouds of patients the town-doctor kills,
Or how, laft fall, he rais'd the weekly bills.
What provinces by Bafilus were spoil'd,
What herds of heirs by guardians are beguil❜d:
How many bouts a-day that bitch has try'd;
How many boys that pedagogue can ride!
What lands and lordships for their owner know
My quondam barber, but his worship now.
This dotard of his broken back complains, One his legs fail, and one his fhoulders pains : Another is of both his eyes bereft ;
And envies who has one for aiming left.
A fifth, with trembling lips expecting ftands,
As in his childhood, cramm'd by others hands;
One, who at fight of fupper open'd wide
His jaws before, and whetted grinders try'd ;
Now only yawns, and waits to be supply'd :
Like a young fwallow, when with weary wings
Expected food her fafting mother brings.
His lofs of members is a heavy curfe,
But all his faculties decay'd, a worse !
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