the nose of another, while savages have devised various methods of ornamenting this distinguished ornament of the face. But we shall now proceed to demonstrate how the intellectual faculties are manifested by the various configuration of this important organ, and to lay down some data on which to erect the superstruction of this science. We shall therefore assume, as our first proposition, that the quantity of e is in a direct ratio to the quantity of nose; and that a deficiency in the capacity of the nose indicates a deficiency in the mental capacities. For the truth of this we can appeal to biography, as well as to actual observation, and, we may safely affirm, that no great man can have a small nose. Cicero, we are told, had a large nose, and an excrescence growing thereon. Ovid derived the appellation of Naso from the same circumstance. The busts of the most renowned of the Romans and Greeks are ample in their nasal dimensions; to which we may add a living example in the person of Sir Joseph Banks, and many others, quos nunc perscribere longum est.. We shall assume this proposition, as granted, and go on to the second, that a strait nose is a negative characteristic, but that a convex apex is indicative of courage, and a concave formation of cowardice and timidity. The most fastidious mind will be satisfied of the truth of this proposition, by reflecting, that it was the model of a Roman nose in the plenitude of their dominion; if any argument were still wanting, an inspection of the heroes of the present day would be conclusive, among whom his Grace the Duke of Wellington is pre-eminently distinguished for the projective character of his nose, not less than for his personal valour. The truth of the latter part of this proposition is so obvious, and the instances that may be adduced so numerous, that it would be waste of time to select any particular one. But as a mistake has generally prevailed, that an illustrious statesman who quitted the army, (where certainly his courage might have been proved,) to serve his country in a more effective post, had this concave nasal formation; should any one, actuated by prejudice, and embracing this popular error, dare to asperse his high character with an imputation of cowardice, we denounce that man as an enemy to candid noseological disquisition; and devote his accursed head to the execrations of every loyal and patriotic Briton, challenging him to prove, that the illus trious personage alluded to had a nose of this configuration. In the meantime we rest assured, that he had not! By the third proposition we take upon ourselves to prove, that a nose forming a right angle at the base, is also a ne gative characteristic; but that an ob tuse and acute angle are positive ones. The former indicating cupidity and curiosity, the latter denoting qualities the reverse of these. In elucidating the first part of this proposition, we shall adduce the analogies of various inquisitive animals. The fox prying in a hen roost, and the ferret in a rab bit's burrow, are animals of this form, combining curiosity with cupidity. The sharp-pointed noses in the inimitable picture of the Misers in Windsor Castle, strongly mark their avidity. This demonstration is so obvious, that we shall not dwell on the latter clause, but proceed to the fourth proposition, that the docility is in proportion to the nasal flexibility: and here we shall again draw our inferences from the brute creation. The extreme docility of the elephant can only be attributed to the wonderful flexibility of his proboscis, as the rhinoceros derives a character of stubbornness from his inflexible snout surmounted by a horn. The men of Brazen Nose College, Oxford, no doubt acquired that appellation from their obstinate and unyielding dispositions, as a person of contrary principle is said to be easily led by the nose. Innumerable other developements of the nasal organ might be adduced as manifestations of every intellectual feeling; but as it is only intended to give a hint to more subtle physiologists, we shall conclude these remarks by shewing, that some propensities are indicated by noseology, which we seek in vain from other systems. The wine-bibber is detected by his nose, which assumes the blushing purple of the ripe grape, while the various tinges from the orange tawny of Irish blackguard, to the sable hue of Macabar, denote a person addicted to snuffing. Weak eyes may be detected by the marks of the spectacles on the sides, and a tendency to surfeit by the spots which overspread its sur face. Thus having embodied a few practical rules, (avoiding fine-spun theories and intangible disquisitions,) we submit them, with all possible deference, to the calm investigation of the impartial reader, and the candid consideration of the man of taste, chal lenging no other merit than that of having first nosed the game, and leav ing to those who may be blessed with a greater capacity of nasal sagacity-to hunt it down! Boulogne. H. C. C.***** Professor of Noseology. EXTRACT FROM A LETTER, WRITTEN AT PARIS, TO A COUNTRY CORRESPONDENT. I AM sure you will excuse my unusual silence when I tell you the cause of it. As a friend of the family, I have been obliged to perform un triste devoir for Madame Dessi, who is not unknown to you, nor the loss she has lately sustained in the death of a lovely daughter, whose beauty was highly flattering to her mother, as the resemblance between them was perfect. Another source of sorrow for Madame D. is, the idea of having neglected to vaccinate her child, which might have preserved both its life and beauty from the fatal ravages of the small pox, in the natural way. The serious indisposition, of which affection and selfaccusations had been the cause, made it impossible for Madame D. to attend the funeral. She desired me to accompany the cortege on foot to the grave, and to prepare a tombstone of white marble, on which should be inscribed the name, age, and the nature of the malady, that had occasioned the premature death of her child. I did and said all in my power to turn her from this last injunction, but it was to no purpose. This act of self-accusation, she said, will be a warning to parents in future not to follow my example, and prevent them from the repetition of a fatal error, the baneful consequence of an inveterate prejudice; and close the gates of an early grave against other daughters, which have been, alas! too prematurely open to my unfortunate child. I did not venture to oppose this humble confession of her fault, and could not but respect the wish she had to perpetuate the remembrance of her sorrow and repentence. On returning to execute the commission she had given me, I went without delay to consult a friend who had lately buried his wife, and learn from him the name of the person the most proper to conduct my business. He recommended me to Monsieur M. N. as the fashion able fabricator of epitaphs at Paris. I accordingly waited on him, and found him already at an early hour engaged with two persons who had only preceded me by a few minutes, and, of course, I was obliged to wait till they were served. I guessed, from their conversation, that their errand was like mine. I want, said the elder, a tomb-stone; for man or woman, asked the master of the shop? It is for a man of a certain age, replied the purchaser. Come with me, then, said M. N., who either did not notice my arrival, or supposed me to be one of the party, and I will conduct you into the magazin des hommes, where you will find, ready to your hands, every thing you can wish or want. We followed him, and he brought us to a large out-house or shed, furnished with stones of different forms, and various shapes, ranged and piled up, at intervals, one on another, and ticketed with capital letters. All that M. N. required, was the subject of the epitaphs. Was, he asked, addressing himself to his customer, the deceased married? Yes, Sir, and he has left a disconsolate widow. Well, then, this is the husband's side. His children too are inconsolable. Oh! he was the father of a family; that is quite another thing. The fathers of families are higher up. On saying this, he led us towards the upper end of the warehouse, where we saw a dozen stones of various sizes, of different dimensions. Whilst the workmen were displaying the stones, and shewing the inscriptions, I went up to the master, and complimented him on his luminous arrangement, and happy classification. The method you ap prove, he said, is not a bad one, and the preparátory disposition of my materials suits well with those who do me the honour to come to my magazine ; and as they generally are pressed for time, and want to be served à la minute, I have often felt the inconvenience of making them wait, since after having ordered an epitaph of their own composition, whilst the tear is standing in their eyes, it sometimes happens, that after the first burst of grief, they think the price they had agreed to give too much. The least defect in the execution, in their cooler moments, serves them not uncommonly for a pretext to discuss the question of an overcharge, which always ends to my disadvantage: and I have been more than once threatened to be paid with thanks for the extravagant praises of fathers, of which the heirs contested the justice. Grief is prodigal, but reflection nips it in the bud. In order to avoid these disagreeables, which cannot always be foreseen, because the most afflicted at the first visit, were oftentimes those who disputed with the most determined obstinacy at the second, I have come to a resolution to prepare the epitaphs before hand, with the wise precaution to engrave virtues for every class of society. I have good husbands, and excellent fathers of families of all prices, sincere friends of all sizes, and respectful sons, in black letters, or in gold, according to their fortunes; virtuous mothers cut in stone, faithful wives in marble, with or without emblems, according to the nature or caprice of the mourners; and, I thank God, my warehouse is well stocked.I have something for every body, and my customers will find no difficulty but of choice. I take care to leave blanks for the names and surnames, for the convenience of those who wish to inscribe on their tombs the titles and dignities that die with them.-ed to put us in mind of the deceased's There is also room at the bottom for virtues; they are two long-the words, particular virtues and accomplish- the best of fathers, is saying too much, ments. These, you will observe, are for if we would speak the truth, papaid for by the letter. ternal love was not his forte, which is proved by the ignorance of his children, of whose education he was not over careful. This being the case, exaggerated praise on that head would be little less than satirical. It is very true, rejoined the elder, and it was my intention to repress the words, the tenderest of husbands, to which the quarrels of the parties which ended in separation, gave a flat denial. It is not very decent to make a tomb-stone tell lies. Why, cried M. N., did you not say all this at first? I have the affair here in the corner. Here lies, with a blank for the name, a good faX and marble, and those which the gentlemen chose to have engraved, would be a franc a piece. The commissioners were, I suspected, very distant relations of the deceased, as they expressed great surprise at the high price of the epitaphs. I never overcharge, said M. N., who, unwilling to lose an opportunity of selling, and perceiving the alarm the high prices had given his dealers, endeavoured to draw their attention to cheaper articles. A marble tablet, and an inscription in letters of gold, added he, in pushing out his lips, and shaking his head, have, no doubt, great merit; but, in the eyes of a man of feeling, they contribute nothing to real sorrow; a monument in common stone is equally respectable. This, pointing with his finger, is just what you want. The inscription is modest, the best of fathers, the tenderest of husbands, is all that is required. The letters are large, well proportioned, and visible at a distance, and easily read as you pass, without being obliged to stop, which is no small advantage. I subscribe, said the elder of the two, to the fitness and propriety of the tomb-stone; but what I dislike, is the letters. The quantity of them which increase the names of the deceased, will double the price of the stone. Charged as I am to execute with religious exactness, the duties I owe to the deceased, and to watch over the interests of the widow and the orphan, I would wish to find out some method of reconciling the respect to the dead with the economy due to the living. I really think, says the younger of the two, we might leave out one of the two lines intend Whilst we had been talking, the gentlemen that came in before me had made choice of two inscriptions of the same sort, one on marble and the other on stone. M. N. went up to them, complimented them on their good ⚫ taste that had led them to choose the best article in his warehouse, the marble of the first quality would cost five hundred francs, and the stone only one hundred and fifty. M. N. added, that the wish he had to please his new customers, made him moderate in his charges. The letters, however, were not comprised in the cost of the stone VOL. V. ther, a good husband, no honest man can have less said of him. After a long dispute on the size of the letters, it was agreed that they should be from one to two inches high, and the price one hundred francs; and as Mr M. N. attended them to the door, he said, it was not worth our while to part for such a trifle. Our manufacturer came back immediately, and brought with him a man of about 50 years old, whose carriage had just driven up to the door. I followed them into the women's apartments, where there was as much order and elegance as in the men's. The tombs were decorated with exquisite taste, fancifully varied, and the virtues more numerous. There was hardly an epitaph that had not half a dozen. Every where fidelity, candour, prudence, modesty and discretion were in capitals. These qualities, Mr M. N. observed, do not always go together, but their union on a monument does no harm, and spoils nothing. We are fond of persuading others, that the object of our regret deserves the tears we shed for it, and the flattery of the dead is nothing more than the self-love of the survivor. The last comer looked round scornfully on all the monuments within his ken, and found no one that described the qualities of the woman he had lost. Mr M. N. pointed out one to him which was just finished, in which every model of panegyric, and all the formalities of praise, were liberally exhausted. He was enchanted with it, and cried out, "That will do; add but three words to it, " by her inconsolable husband," and send it to me tonight, that I may find it when I come home from the opera; I am going tomorrow into the country, and shall be able to judge of the effect it will have in the place where it is to be set up. On saying this he took out his purse, and paid his money, without suspecting the presence of a third person. When we were alone I explained to Mr M. N. the nature of my visit; he confessed he had nothing of the kind ready, and, after having read the note I had given him, he said, well Sir, the example of Madam D. is excellent: if we were to set forth on the gravestone the cause of the death of him or her whom it covers, no doubt the publication would at least teach those discretion, who for the most part are divested of it; they would confess, for fear of being accused, he added, with the broad grin of a man who turns every thing to his own interest, and our epitaphs will then, at least, be the longer for this candid procedure.Accept my humble services, ever at your disposal, L. B. H. SW. TIME'S MAGIC LANTHERN. The DISSECTOR, BLASQUEZ, and SCHOLAR. Doctor. This body is a good subject. It is lean, and therefore well calculated to shew the muscular system. Lay open the abdomen by two transverse incisions, but beware you do not injure the viscera. Now draw aside the outward integuments, and you will observe the position of the bowels. I shall demonstrate that in my lecture to-day. Enter Duke of Alagon. Duke. Mr Doctor, the King is in the hospital, and will probably visit your dissecting-room. I inform you of this, that you make the necessary preparations for his Majesty's reception. Doctor. My Lord Duke, I humbly thank your Lordship for your condescension in giving me this notice. I shall pay every attention to your Lordship's intimation. [Exit Duke. Doctor. Here, throw up the windows, and sprinkle the floor with camphor. Remove the putrid thigh of the old woman of which you are making a preparation. Cast a sheet over this body, and wipe these dissecting instruments with a towel. Now stand behind me and await the entrance of his Majesty. Enter King and Attendants. King. I am come to your apartment, Mr Dissector, because I am desirous of examining the great work of the Creator-Man. You will, therefore, briefly demonstrate to me the anatomy of the human frame. Doctor. The honour conferred upon me by your Majesty, is one for which I cannot be sufficiently grateful. But anatomy I fear is a study little calculated to afford pleasure to princes. It requires much labour and application, and is therefore better suited to an humble subject like myself, than a great King like your Majesty. King. You seem an old man, and must therefore have long studied your profession. Doctor. My hair is gray, your Majesty, less from age than intense study and the duties of my profession. I have lived amid disease and death, and laboured in poverty and distress. My life has been an obscure one, yet I trust not quite useless to my fellowcreatures. It has been King. Enough! you will now proceed to the demonstrations I require of you. The body I perceive is covered. Doctor. Nothing can escape the penetration of your Majesty-I feared the sight might be too shocking, and King. You are mistaken, let the covering be removed. Where did you procure this body? Doctor. It is the body of a galley slave, who died without receiving extreme unction, and was therefore denied the rites of christian burial, and sent hither for dissection. Duke. These are the features of Arguelles-I know them well-your Majesty may perhaps remember him. He was the chief of the traitorous Cortes, who betrayed your Majesty, and their country, during the unfortunate interregnum caused by the invasion of the French. King. He never came to court, and I do not remember to have seen him; but I well know he was an enemy to our holy church, which he attempted to ruin by the overthrow of the inquisition. For this he was condemned to the galleys-a punishment only too lenient for such a crime. I had forgotten him, but I now wish to receive some further information with regard to him. Duke. He was a man, your Majesty, of noble and various attainments. He possessed a grand and powerful eloquence, which even those who condemned his reasoning could not hear unmoved. His learning was extraordinary, though unprofitable, for he read the works of heritics who wrote on liberty and emancipation, and they wrought in his brain like madness. The absence of your Majesty, and the troubles of the kingdom unfortunately afforded him a theatre on which he was well qualified to act. He became a member of the Cortes, in which he found many enemies, but no rival. Yet even these were influenced by his talents, and with freedom on his lips, and revolution in his heart, he led the Cortes to betray their king, their country, and their religion. Time was, when I could not have borne to behold his body thus exposed, for he was my friend, and I loved him as a brother. But there is no feeling I would not sacrifice to my loyalty--the moment he became false to your Majesty, he became false to me, and I cast him off. King. Your sentiments are those of every good subject. Inform me what became of his family. Duke. His wife died young, and left him but one son, whom he loved with even more than a father's love, and to whose education he devoted much of his time. On this subject too, he had strange ideas, and would never suffer the boy to receive personal chastisement for his faults. He taught him, that a blow carried with it a degradation too dreadful to be endured. He accustomed him to reason, from his very cradle, and the boy became a man while yet in the years of childhood. On the return of your Majesty, it was found that he had become a convert to the doctrines, and a party to the schemes of his father; and he too, was sentenced by your Majesty to the galleys. King. It was wisely done, for the breed of traitors and heretics must be extinguished before Spain can again be what she has been. Where milder arguments fail, a gibbet, or the galleys generally carry conviction; and, at all events, they prevent the spreading of the disease. I wish to know in what spirit Arguelles submitted to his punishment-and in what temper he died. Duke. On these points I regret I cannot satisfy your Majesty's curiosity. But I saw the captain of the galleys in the court of the hospital, who can, no doubt, give your Majesty any information you may desire. King. Let him be sent for. [Enter Captain of the galleys.] Duke. The King is desirous of be |