strain the fearful thoughts of death, and of all that is after death, which would rush upon my mind, even when I seemed the gayest? How could I silence the voice of a guilty conscience, which sounded its terrible warning to my heart, 'Know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment? Oh Jane! in spite of my assumed cheerfulness, I was miserable! I was always anxious for society, for I dreaded to be alone, and the society I chose was that most unlikely to benefit me-the gay, the volatile, and the thoughtless, became the chosen companions of Emily Landor, of one who was reputed decidedly religious! Yet I made it appear as if I had been the sought, not the seeker-as if I associated with them because I could not avoid their acquaintance; and thus I hoped to silence the accusation of inconsistency, which was so well merited. Could you ever have thought that I should be so fallen, as to court the esteem of others, when my own selfrespect was gone?

"I had become acquainted with the leading doctrines of religion, and I knew that I was wrong; but it was mine to experience how possible, how very possible, it is for those doctrines to be known, without a saving knowledge-for the judgment to be convinced, while the heart is untouched. I did not relax in my discharge of external duties; I attended church, though its services were be-. come uninteresting: I occasionally received the

sacrament-for the sake of appearances, and I believe that I gave no occasion for the morality of my conduct to be questioned. After I came to Elmwood, as you know, I became a teacher in the Sunday school; I think I was an attentive onebut then, the motive! Of what dreadful hypocrisy was I guilty when I used to talk to the children of my class, as though I had really been a zealous servant of my Almighty Master! I told them of the depravity of their hearts, when I felt not the evil of my own; I pointed out to them the necessity of repentance, while I myself repented not; I warned them of the danger of neglecting the Saviour, when I knew that I not only neglected, but dishonoured him; I advised them to take him for their Lord and Master, while my own. feeling was 'We will not have this man to reign. over us !'

"When I received your letter, I had for several weeks been aroused from my former death-like apathy of soul, and was convinced of the enormity of my sins, while I felt as if it were presumptuous even to hope for pardon. I knew there was but one Advocate who could obtain my forgiveness, -but one Guide who could restore me to the way of peace; yet I feared to seek him because my conscience told me I justly merited his indignation and wrath, for having forsaken him after I had. experienced so much of his goodness. I thought

that mercy must be infinite indeed, which could pardon such a one as I, yet to whom else could I go? I knew there was but one Mediator between God and man, the man Christ Jesus, and to him, at length, trembling and almost despairing, I ap plied. I felt the utter uselessness of any thing I could do I was sure that my thoughts, words, and works had much more of sin than of merit that even my tears and my repentance could avail me nothing-that no future amendment could reconcile me to a just and angry God; therefore I prayed, and, I trust, with sincerity,

'Rock of Ages! cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee!' ›

"How can I express my joy and thankfulness, my dearest sister, in the hope, the blessed hope, that I am forgiven? I, who have been so wilful and perverse, who have sinned against One that laid down his life for me, and who have long resisted his Holy Spirit! Alas! what a depraved being am I, how unworthy of the name of christian, how unworthy to be of the number of the Saviour's flock! And I tremble to think, if I should again fall!-Oh! may I be upheld by the power of God, for with his strength only shall I be safe! At this moment I feel as if no temptation should induce me again to wander from my merciful and gracious Redeemer, but I dare not trust to such a

feeling as this, I know too well how little I may rely upon my own firmness, and how weak I am without my heavenly Helper.

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led And now I have told you all. Now you know how little I deserved your affection, how unworthy I was of your esteem. And what more can I say? I cannot attempt to excuse my hypocrisy, I dare not promise to be sincere in future, though I hope for grace to preserve me in the right way, and I can offer you no persuasive to forgive me, except that I shall not be happy until you have done so. I entreat you, my dear Jane, my second mother, to restore to me the affection which my own conduct has forfeited. I do not ask you to think as well of me as before, that would be impossible, and I hope I do not wish it, for I am endeavouring to overcome that sinful feeling which leads me to seek the praise of men; but do not, my only sister, refuse me your love. My brother, too, will he forgive me?-And Mr. Leslie? Dear Jane, you must not only pardon my fault, but intercede for me with them.'

1. My father says he is writing to Mr. Westbury upon business which requires an immediate answer, and I shall anxiously expect a letter from you in the same parcel, which will tell me, I hope, when you will return. Let it be soon, dearest Jane, for though I shall be ashamed to meet you. yet I long to ask your forgiveness in person, and

to tell you, as I can in sincerity, that hypocrite as I have been in religion, I was always

"Most affectionately, yours,

"EMILY LANDOR.”

CHAPTER XII.

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you, not as the world giveth, give I unto you.

EMILY soon received an answer from her sister, written in the language of the warmest affection, assuring her that each of her absent friends thought with less of displeasure that she had wandered from the right way, than of rejoicing that she was restored to it; and the letter also contained the welcome information that they should probably return to England in a few weeks.

A letter for Mr. Landor also arrived, and as he was out when the parcel came, Emily, with joy ful impatience, stationed herself at one of the windows to catch the first glimpse of his return. The moment she saw him she ran to the hall-door, with the letter in her hand, and advancing to meet