appellation of "WILLIAM with the Beard," from his defying the old Norman custom of chin-scraping, which it seems had in the time of HENRY THE SECOND been We have been thus careful in describing these three effigies, because they show the royal robes which were in fashion at this period, and moreover serve to acquaint us with the habits of the nobles which, we are told, were very similar both in costliness and cut. The decorations of court dresses were like those at certain theatres, in respect of being got up quite regardless of expense. Some notion of their character and splendour may be formed from the description of a mantle beTIC PORTRAIT, WHICH WAS EVIDENTLY TAKEN AT longing to KING RICHARD, which is said to have been almost "wholly covered with half moons and glittering orbs of solid silver, arranged in imitation of the system of the stars." With such a robe as this the wearer must have looked somewhat like a walking orrery, and MR. ADAMS might have lectured on him as he walked. "WILLIAM WITH THE BEARD." " FROM AN AUTHEN THE MOMENT WHEN HE DROWNED HIS RAZORS. The fashion of indenting the borders of the tunics and the mantle appears to have come in during the reign of HENRY THE SECOND, for in the last year but one of it a statute was passed to prohibit certain classes from the wearing of jagged garments. It seems that kings took then as much thought about clothing as empresses do now; and when they, or their tailors, had invented a new style, they tried to keep it to themselves, and prevent its getting common. Among his other royal and fashionable deeds, KING HENRY was distinguished by having introduced a shorter kind of mantle than had been in courtly use before his reign. Hence his grateful subjects nicknamed him "Court Manteau," and he would have probably been likewise called "Port Manteau," if his genius had first brought that article to light. This custom of nicknaming people from their dress was not at all uncommon in the early ages. In later times the custom has however been corrected, and new vestments have been christened with the names of noble persons, instead of noble persons being nicknamed from their clothes. This "Blucher" boots and "Wellingtons" sufficiently exemplify, and a still more recent instance is afforded by the christening of the far-famed Albert hat. دو 66 THE WORM IN OLD ENGLAND'S WOODEN WALLS." WHEN Britannia declares that she rules o'er the flood, Before the Wood-Walls of Old England- JOHN BULL can match JOHNNY CRAPAUD-one to ten-- If our ships' heart of oak be no better than this, The name of that burrowing worm it is 'Greed'- In a specification 'twill breed from a quirk; SCULPTURE IN THE CITY. IN proposing the health of the LORD MAYOR and prosperity to the City of London the other day at the Banquet of the Royal Academy, the waggish President of that Institution paid the Civic Monarch aud his Government, for their patronage of the Fine Arts, a facetious compliment, concluding with the subjoined jocular panegyric: With regard to the crural clothing of this period, stockings and chaussés were worn as theretofore; and as the Saxon word "hose and the Latin one 68 'caliga" both occur in a wardrobe roll writ in KING JOHN's time, we may reasonably infer that those garments were both worn, although it might perplex us somewhat to describe them. Sandals of purple cloth, having their soles, or sotulares, fretted with fine gold, are likewise catalogued as parts of the costume of that sovereign; and by "sandals," we opine, are meant the old leg bandages of which we have made mention as in use among the Saxons. These, however, were now made of gold stuff or gilt leather, and moreover, were no longer worn in bands or rolls, but crossed each other regularly the whole way up the leg, beginning from the very tip of the tom toe. Whether any sort of trousers were worn over them, is a point which "Nor is sculpture overlooked by the City authorities. The splendid hall of the antiquarians have delighted to dispute. On the authority of SHAK- Mansion House has been partly decorated with marble statues, which do honour SPEARE, it is asserted that KING STEPHEN was a wearer of knee-alike to the artists and to those who devised that means of employing their talents. breeches, and hence it has been argued that KING JOHN most likely (Cheers.)" sported them. Opinions, however, differ upon this as upon most matters; and one old sceptic says, "I trow, Sirs, y' as toe ye Kyng's trousers, ye writer who putts faythe in ym hath not a legge to stand on." * "KING STEPHEN was a worthy peer, His breeches cost him but a crown: He held them sixpence all too dear, With that he called the tailor, 'lown!'" A Horrible Compound. Othello. THE LORD CHANCELLOR has introduced into the House of Lords a Bill for the fusion of Law and Equity. What a mixture! It seems like a combination of Strychnine with Prussic Acid. In thus pleasantly chaffing the LORD MAYOR, however, SIR C. EASTLAKE made a remarkable omission. He mentioned the hall of the Mansion House; but he said nothing of Guildhall. He alluded to marble statues-of course with due emphasis on the word marble-but he said nothing of Gog and Magog. 66 Casting off the Painter." THE good Ship Royal Academy has started on her voyage this year, with a reef taken in in her canvas all round. She is said to sail all the better for this change of trim, as well as for having got rid of a great deal of her top-hamper. DEMORALISING INFLUENCE OF THE LATE FIGHT. TOM, who is an enthusiast of the P.R., actually insists on initiating his COUSIN AMY into its mysteries. "20th Round. Both up smiling; some smacking exchanges, when Tom gets home heavily on the Kissing-trap!!! Tom declared he could have held out for another hour!"-Vide Belle's Life. TUPPER'S THREE HUNDRED AND FIRST. MR. PUNCH has the pleasure to announce that in consequence of the unexampled success of MR. MARTIN F. TUPPER'S new volume, Three Hundred Sonnets, the former has entered into an arrangement with the latter for a new series of those delightful compositions. The slight delay in completing the negotiation arose solely from the Poet's supposition that having written upon every conceivable place, thing, boy, girl, baby, and other article in any way connected with himself, he might find a lack of subject. But when a Punch calls to a TUPPER for song, the call wakes poesy from her inmost cell, and Mr. P. states with delight that the supply is again turned on, and will be continued until further notice. SONNET CCCI. TO MY FIVE NEW KITTENS. Soft little beasts, how pleasantly ye lie Snuggling and snoozling by your purring sire, O kittens, you're not thinking, I'll be bound, That licked her cream-dish and her butter-pats, But childhood's pleadings won me, and I said "O Cook, we'll keep the innocents alive; They're five, consider, and you've fingers five." M. F. T. JUST IN TIME.-"What-not recal SIR CHARLES TREVELYAN!" said an old ludian Official. One minute more, and India would have been in revolt!" THE ORACLE OF THE CITY OF LONDON. WHY is the judgment-seat of the Mansion House like the Tripod of Apollo? Not because it has three legs, inasmuch as it is a quadruped, as some of its occupants also have been irreverently denominated. No; the Civic Chair resembles the three-legged oracular stool in the peculiarity of inspiring its occupant, by a mystic sufflatus, with extraordinary utterances. These, in the case of the Pythoness, were prophetic; in that of the LORD MAYOR for the time being they consist of flights of poetry and eloquence, and aphorisms of wisdom. The Sovereign of the City may, in his natural state, usually deliver himself like a man of the world, but no sooner is he seated on his throne than he is sure to break out into the exalted language of metaphor, or the majestic enunciation of moral truth. For example in point, take the following extract from the report of honest PULLINGER's examination : "THE LORD MAYOR. And I must express the pleasure I feel at the course taken by PULLINGER in completely exonerating LYTILETON from blame. It is a bright oasis in the desert of his guilty career." If you want to appreciate the splendour of these comparisons, try to conceive a career in the form of the desert, and an act in the likeness of an oasis. It would be satisfactory, by the way, to know how the LORD MAYOR articulated the word "oasis." Seated on the throne of civic inspiration, he ought to have pronounced it as a word of two syllables, rhyming with "MOSES." Elsewhere, no doubt, he is accustomed to express his ideas in the simple phraseology of decently educated men; but presiding in official state, the LORD MAYOR must be the LORD MAYOR, and behave as such. He cannot help himself; he is inflated with an enthusiastic emanation, and soars like a balloon into the pompous regions of poetry. CAUSE AND EFFECT. THE Indigo districts are up; but what quiet PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. theatres, overing of posts in the street, or any other relaxation, merely from stuck-up feelings; and he begs to state, in answer to MR. GLADSTONE, that a glass of good gin-and-water is a very good thing, at proper times, and that a man who cannot afford to give good wine had better stick the above before his friends than public-house port, advertised claret, and beestly Marsala, even though DUKE OF SOMERSET paraded in the handsomest crystal decanters and jugs that was compelled by can be bought at the Crystal Palace. Besides, gin is a LORD HARDWICKE favourite with all true Artists: AY 14. Monday. After some NORMANBY anti-GARIBALDI cackle, derided as usual, the (who is a Vice-Admiral on the reserved list, but who to-night broke through his reserve and made a sensible speech) to make a statement about the Gun Boats. His chief defence of the authorities was, that the mass of the boats were built under extreme pressure, consequent upon previous disgraceful neglect of duty by the Admiralty, and though in an ordinary house of business such an pre emergency would have suggested extra-vigilance by one of the partners, such caution was far too vulgar for My Lords. Moreover, the Duke piteously urged that "the snow was on the ground," but how the snow turned the copper bolts into something else, his Grace did not explain. He thought that it might be well to appoint a practical man" to help the Comptroller of the Navy in looking after such matters, said that exertions were being made to repair the rotten boats, and that more care would be taken in future. A more unsatisfactory speech was never made, even by a Lord of the Admiralty, and LORD TOWNSHEND, another reserved in bad vessels. Mr. Punch suggests that the fire upon the Admiralty be kept up. admiral, very properly dwelt upon the wickedness of asking brave sailors to embark He is ready with Punch Crosses for the most distinguished assailants. who is for universal suffrage, opposing it on the ground that every man ought to The Sunday Yelling and Howling Bill went through Committee, LORD TEYNHAM, have a Voice; but he need not use it to the annoyance and detriment of his neighbours. The 'BISHOP OF CARLISLE stated that he had often had to send out of church on Sundays to beg that his congregations might not be disturbed in their religious duties by the peripatetic Howlers. A Bill making it easier to convict persons committing assaults and similar offences was passed, LORD WESTMEATH not considering it severe enough in regard to persons who drive over you in the streets. Caveat ambulator is a good rule, but drivers of all kinds have yet to be rid of an idea that everybody is bound to get out of the way of any and everything that has a horse to it. In Russia, the rule is the reverse, and human life and limb are treated as more important than the saving of five minutes by a Swell in Hansom, or a ruffianly Van Demon. a In the Commons, a Bill which was called the Newspapers Conveyance Bill because it was a Bill for preventing the conveyance of newspapers, was abandoned by MR. GLADSTONE, amid ironical cheers. The English of the matter is, that at the Post Office newspapers are disliked, and it is desired to take away their character of Letters, and the impressed stamp that enables a person to send a paper to his friend without extra charge. SIR ROWLAND HILL wishes newspapers to be looked at as mere Printed Matter. But the terrible GLADSTONE has sometimes to be checked in his fiery career, and it has been so strongly intimated to him that a newspaper is something more than a bundle of proofs of Homeric Fancies, or an Essay on the Church and State, that he has had to drop his measure. Mr. Punch was not in the House at the moment, but meeting the Wiscount, and asking what excuse GLADDY had made, his lordship replied: "Well, he said ILL was hill, and that eed hinquire more fully into the fax of the case.' Some Irish fools are being entrapped into the service of the POPE, and are being hired by GENERAL LAMORICIÈRE to kill the Romans in the event of their rising against POPE PIUS. In reply to a question, MR. CARDWELL said, that the proceeding was unlawful, and Government has issued a proclamation on the subject, but this seems a mistake. The more of such animals that can be cleared out of Ireland the better-it is a following out of the mission of St. Patrick. The Wine Licences Bill was taken through Committee, and there was a good deal of smart talk, especially on Sabbatarian points, and-what seemed to interest the Committee more-on the probable adulteration of liquors by the lower class of vendors. In the course of the debate, MR. GLADSTONE spoke of Gin as that "detestable" liquid. The DUKE OF PUNCH is too true an Aristocrat, pur sang, to be afraid of avowing his liking for anything-he leaves it to Genteel Folks to abstain, vulgarly, from clay pipes, the tops of omnibuses, periwinkles, pits of "Spiritus intus alit, totamque infusa per Artus-" The Nuisances Removal Bill followed, but should have been discussed with the question about enlisting Irish hirelings for the POPE. Tuesday. LORD REDESDALE having unfortunately fixed his Light Weights in Racing Bill for the eve of the Derby, postponed it. Statesmen should be more careful when dealing with the vital interests of the nation. LORD CLANRICARDE let off some Indigo Indignation, touching the way the Indian planters of that blue stuff treat their labourers. The DUKE of ARGYLL said the planter was not so blue as he was painted. LORD PALMERSTON had his racing topic to dispose of. He moved the adjournment of the House over Wednesday, the 23rd, the day for holding our Ludi Circenses, as MR. EDWIN JAMES classically remarked, having been looking at ADAM's Roman Antiquities, edition 1825, page 311, right hand, nine lines from bottom. Considering that LORD PALMERSTON has Mainstone in the race, and LORD DERBY has Cape Fly-away, and that a third horse is actually called Lord Palmerston, the interest of our legislative chiefs in such matters may be comprehended. LORD ABERDEEN's son, LORD HADDOCK, or some such name, made a supremely ridiculous speech upon the impropriety of allowing money to any school of Art in which the undraped she-model was studied from. His father, who was called Athenian ABERDEEN, and has so earnest a love for Greek Art that he actually favoured Russia because she has a Greek church, ought to have cured his HADDOCK of such nonsense. Poor old MR. SPOONER, naturally, took the same really indelicate view of the case. SIR GEORGE fun. If it is impossible that the same country which conLEWIS expressed his lofty contempt for the HADDOCK, and LORD PALMERSTON kippered him in a speech full of good that he prefers keeping the diviner images, and somehow tains MACDOWELL'S Eve and BAILEY's Eve at the Fountain can hold HADDOCK and SPOONER, Mr. Punch must avow getting rid of the coarser ones. whether the latter would like to stick crinoline on the PAM wanted to know models, or would be content with African garb. The other Wiscount observed, with more truth perhaps than gushing politeness, "Nude, indeed, I knew'd ADDOCK WAS Nass." Punch has the happiness of beginning with LORD LOVAINE (this is the fourth paragraph which Mr. Lords") called the South-Eastern Railway Company over talk of the coals on the subject of the conveyance of people down that line to see the Great Mill. He might have made something of his case, this son of BEVERLEY, if he had known how to paint it as his father's namesake would have done; but he made such a clumsy daub, that everybody laughed. He talked of two or three thousand Ruffians being taken down to the fight--a foolish way to talk, when he knew that, whether they had any business there or not, there were present at the battle persons distinguished in all the vocations that confer social rank, as well as a great lot of the born aristocracy. This is just the sort of Muff that PAM likes to turn inside out; and he performed that office with so much gusto that MR. PAULL declared his Lordship had been very fittingly called the Judicious Bottleholder by a Certain Facetious Publication-that being the reverent periphrase with which Mr. Punch is always alluded to by his inferiors. LORD PALMERSTON seemed delighted with the double compliment-his being noticed by Mr. Punch, and the recognition of that notice in the House of Commons. He also declared that whether MESSRS. SAYERS and HEENAN were breaking the peace in breaking one another's noses or not, the spectators were doing nothing wrong, an argument which was just the thing to adduce in answer to nonsense, being in itself nonsense of the first order. A Tenant-Right debate enabled MR. MAGUIRE to abuse the Irish landlords in a slashing speech, which MR. GEORGE stated would have converted him to the side VOL. XXXVJIE. against which MR. MAGUIRE argued, if there had not been other reasons for Mr. G.'s non-conversion. The Wiscount said that MR. M. was no great admirer of the Georgian Hearer. Wednesday's proceedings were so utterly uninteresting, that the only excuse for them was their exceeding brevity. Thursday. A Church Festival gave the Lords a holiday, and next night both Houses took one in honour of the birthday of the Head of the Church and of the State. To-night, MR. GLADSTONE, asked what he would do if the Lords, next Monday, should throw out the Paper Duty Bill, refused to anticipate the possibility of such a catastrophe. There is an awful Being in the world who is known, and feared, as the BEAR. It is said that he has said-or rather not said, for he never speaks, but has looked, that-but mysteries must not be profanely divulged. Let us see the result of the business in the Lords. The stars are above us, and Ursa Major looks as ifEnough! More anon. Then came a beautiful and lovely satire, worthy of RABELAIS and the Furred Law Cats. GARIBALDI is helping the Sicilians to revolt against their tyrant, BOMBA fils, and everybody in England desires to help GARIBALDI with money. The second law officer of the Crown was asked whether subscriptions for that purpose were lawful, inasmuch as BOMBA is a foreign sovereign with whom our QUEEN has no actual quarrel. The SOLICITOR-GENERAL said that he did not see that there was any objection to such subscription. The POPE'S Members in the House were enraged at this, and to-night the Government was again assailed on the subject, and SIR WILLIAM ATHERTON's doctrine was vehemently impugned by MR. HENNESY. ATHERTON, WHITESIDE, JAMES, BETHELL, CAIRNS, BOVILL, MALINS,-there is a splendid array of legal talent! Well, Mr. Punch having heard all their arguments, and considered them with all the might of his inconceivable mind, ENGLAND CHAWED UP." solemnly declares that he has not the slightest idea whether it is lawful for him to send his friend SIGNOR MARIO a cheque for ten thousand pounds in aid of GARIBALDI, or not. All he can say is, that though it is usual when there is a doubt to give a criminal the benefit of it, he shall not do so in the present case, but shall send the Ten Thousand towards the destruction of BOMBA. And evidently that course was the one really recommended by LORD JOHN RUSSELL, who spoke seven times better than all the seven lawyers, and made it would be very glad to see him kicked out of the land he oppresses so pretty clear that the Government look on BOMBA as a great rascal, and brutally. There was some frightful rubbish talked in favour of the POPE (at whom EDWIN JAMES had fired a shot), but it is a little too late in the day to try to delude anybody into a favourable thought of that imbecile Humbug. The Wine Bill went clean through Committee, and the House rose. Next night, walking about in the mud (what a vile day it was) to look The latter said he had made an epigram. at the Illuminations, VISCOUNT PUNCH met WISCOUNT WILLIAMS. PUNCH, good-humouredly, "you make an epigram, you could as easily Bother," said LORD make a comet." But I have," persisted the Lambeth Peer. "Do you mean a telegram ?" asked his friend-"that you might manage." do that," said LORD PUNCH. "I mean what I say," rejoined the Wiscount. Everybody should "Look here, said W. W., pointing up at a great gas V. R., "Suppose the QUEEN were to say, 'I wonder whether my people are as attached to me as I am to them?'-that illumination would be their answer to the speech." "How so?" 'Why it says "Broadway,-arter dinner. сс VE ARE." [Mr. Punch will be better after the Derby, especially it *** *** wins. "As for the proud representative of the American Eagle on this auspicious occasion, what shall be done for him? Would a crown of laurel, presented by thirty-three young ladies, all in book muslin, white satin ribbon and innocence, be agreeable to his feelings? UNCH, old hoss, and Will he object to being received by a choice deputation of the fighting heow air you, and members of Congress, and escorted to the City Hall, the bands heow d'ye like the playing See the Conquering Hero Comes!' while the unimpeachable BRADY stands with one hand under his coat-tails, extending the lickin' as our B'hoy freedom of the City in a gold-box to the gladiatorial representative of has gone and given the genius of liberty? Is there anything in the public way he would yer. Reckon like? Would the nomination at Charleston or Chicago be any value chaps here air mighty men of the Classic era, MR. HEENAN believes the post of honour to to him? or is it probable that, like CINCINNATUS, and other great spry about it. Jist be the private station; or that at the best, the only office worth hear one of em holding is a fat sinecure in the Custom House. If the spontaneous a-crowin' in the New admiration of a grateful people is of any value to the champion of republican institutions, he can have any quantity of it." York Herald: our "The Britons, whose love of fair play is universal, stopped the fight "A sinecure aint bad, providin' it's A plump un: and a snuff-box aint so dusty, supposin' it's A gold un. But if I was Mr. H., guess I'd chuse the crownin' by the in order to save their thutty-three young ladies, as being the thing most 'agreemoney. They claim now able to my feelins.' On'y I'd styppylate toe haeve the kissin' of 'em reound, and arter that toe heave the privilege of pickin' out the prettiest, and go and make A splice of it, providin' the State would stand us somethin' towards housekeepin'. that it is a drawn game. This will not answer. So far as the money goes, never mind. Let MR. BULL, who seems to be growing old and shaky about his pius, keep his five-pound notes-we are rich enough to do without them. We did not really want his money, but simply desired to let him know that we could whip him in a matter of muscle as well as in yachts, clipper ships, steamboats, india-rubber shoes and other things, city railways, sewing machines, the electric telegraph, reading machines, pretty women, and unpickable bank locks." "This here talk's a trifle tall, but it aint far from the truth. I guess we jist du whip you, whenever we've the chance; and if we don't du it oftener, it's because you're gettin' old, and we shouldn't like to hut yer. Our Mottoe's 'Go A Head!' and when we say a thing, we du it. In steam en-gines and goloshes we air no small snakes, and we beat you ind on ind in any game you're up to, from pitch and toss to pickin' locks, or any other skientific sort o' time-slaughter. Our steamers air first-chop, although they sometimes du bust up, and in raisin' pretty gals, apple-squash and airthquakes! I guess we whip cre-ation-though I'm bound to say the critters du git sorter pale and yaller, as if they'd growed too fast, like an overheated pumpkin. But then you know this here 's the natur of the animal, and aint brought on as some is by the over workin' of it. No, Sir-ree; ours is A free country and ('cept niggers) there's no slaves in it. And we don't turn our young women into sewing machines as you do, but we makes separate article, which you will find A 1 at stitchin. This here's as ondeniable as that bacca's growed to chew, and that a 'Merican can't go tu minutes without spittin'. And equally A fact is this here assertion: "It will be quite idle for the English to deny now either of these propositions-first, that the British Lion has been whipped, and that the American Eagle has a right to scream like half-adozen locomotives; the poor old lion, the bully who has been roaming up and down the earth for so many years, roaring at everybody, may go away in some secluded corner and suck his bruised paws, while all Continental Europe laughs at him, and is glad that the United States has done it. Second, that they, the English, have made the fight an international matter. The champion of England is a semi-official personage-one who is venerated as the head of his peculiar profession. Here we have no organised prize-ring, and no champion. But the English accepted HEENAN as the American champion, and put their best man against him." "Wal, and yar 'best man' got licked. Thar aint no flies about it. And what air we to du for the Yankee b'hoy as whopped him? That's the question,' as OTHELLER says (pretty authors yars, a makin' stage heroes of niggers!) And this is how the New York Herald goes for to con-sider it : "But heow about yar side? Wal, this is heow the Herald comes a crowin' over you : "As for the lion of Albion, let him roar more modestly when his paw gets well. The old fellow is only Bully Bottom after all. We Office, and fed upon vegetables for the remainder of his days. It will suggest that he should be permanently attached to the Tribune not be safe for him to lay down with a lamb of ordinary pluck now. Tell a Frenchman or a German that an American can hit harder and quicker than any Englishman, and the British Lion's stock goes down On the Continent an Englishman and la boxe are inseparable. a hundred per cent." Britishers. It was your prowess at le bore that kept "You see, old hoss, it's clearly all gone 'coon with you Eu-rope at peace with you. But neow your champion has been whipped, your prestige is all whittled clean away as an old walking-stick. I calc'late our next clipper will bring news that all your Funds have been transferred to France, and that the Bank of England has been carted off toe Paris. Reckon it would be a most tar-nation payin' spec, if that ar 'LITTLE NAP' was toe an-nex Great Britain, and neow we've been and smashed you, he might easy go and du it! "Wal, when London is annexed, old hoss, I guess you'll haeve toe sqotilate. So perhaps it won't be long afore you come and liquor with your New York correspondent, "JONATHAN MARCELLUS JOSH GOLIAH GONG." "P.S.-As you seem rayther up a tree neow for subjects for Big Cuts, s'pose you draw the British Lion with his tail atween his legs, and JACK HEENAN as our Eagle a flappin' his wings over him." TWO ROADS TO A RED RIBAND. BIND the star upon the coat That enfolds the dauntless breast: Lies their ennobling power, Of many a glorious hour; Of deeds in field or trench, Of crumbling fortress held, When the bravest heart might blench, But lest our England deem The Equerry of our QUEEN! Think of the weary watches Then grudge not to these heroes The honours they have won There is far other weariness Than battle's, 'neath the sun. By an heroic HAVELOCK, At an INGLIS's right hand, Let PHIPPS and GREY, with stars as gay, And blushing ribands stand! A PATTERN OF RICH PLUSH. THE subjoined announcement in the Times will be perused with interest on many a footboard; in many a hall of liveried retainers attached to the British aristocracy: "The CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER acknowledges the receipt of the first halves of Bank-notes to the amount of £35, on account of unpaid Income-Tax from 'JAMES.'" Will the conscientiousness of JAMES provoke the emulation, or incur the derision of JOHN THOMAS? There is considerable reason at least to apprehend that the example of the scrupulous domestic will be less generally imitated than admired, and not admired very generally, among his brethren of the gold-laced hat. But these are sentimental speculations. The practical reflection suggested by the above-quoted case of conscience-money concerns the largeness of the sum to which the vails of footmen in high places may be presumed to amount in the course of the year. The wages of JAMES are perhaps considerable. Of course they are much in excess of the beggarly salary of a Curate or a Poor Law Medical Officer. They doubtless had been regularly assessed, and had yielded their quota to the confiscation of Schedule D. But the vails which MR. JAMES might have happened to receive were altogether inscrutable, so long as that gentleman's gentleman was pleased to retain their figure, under his embroidered waistcoat, in the recesses of his own bosom. Income-Tax, because he has paid more of it than he was obliged to pay, and that out of earnings which, if large, must yet be precarious. The cash thus surrendered is treated by him as the arrear of a just tribute, whereof he was bound to make restitution, and not as so much money which had escaped an iniquitous exaction. Accordingly, although he was liable to lose his place at a month's notice, and possibly sooner; consequently to be almost immediately deprived of both vails and wages; he voluntarily pays Income-Tax on the former as well as the latter, with a generous oblivion of the good old saying-which financiers should remember as well as, footmen-that "Service is no inheritance." But we may reasonably trust that the ample emoluments of MR. JAMES's situation have enabled him to make all needful provision against the loss of that revenue which yields at present so heavy a per-centage to direct and partial taxation. THE WASTE-PAPER DEPARTMENT. ENORMOUSLY as Mr. Punch, with his stupendous circulation, must profit by the long-fought-for removal of the Paper Duty, his readers will yet do him the justice to allow that he seldom has obtruded the subject to their notice. It having been repeatedly asserted by the Government that the Exchequer could not bear the remission of the tax, Mr. Punch has taken care not to embarrass their position by cchoing the common outcry for repeal. With that spirit of selfsacrifice which has always so distinguished him, he has abstained from proclamation of his interest in the matter, from the noble fear that, had his secret been divulged, it might have biassed those in power to have acted for his benefit, and thereby to have imperilled the position of the State. But as the fate of the tax will be decided before this sheet is published, Mr. Punch may say a few words on the matter, without being suspected of speaking for his pocket. Quite admitting the full force of the arguments employed as to the springs of knowledge being pressed on by the tax, Mr. Punch conceives that had his lips been openable he could have emitted a still stronger illustration of the way in which the interests of the country have been damaged by it. When it is considered how careful are our Governments of the money of the nation, and what a strict economy they practise in expending it, of course it must be clear to any reasoning intelligence that, while paper has been taxed, they have been stinted in their use of it. That this restriction must have checked the circumlocutionary practices which are so vitally essential to the business of the nation, it needs but little effort of reflection to infer. The five-and-twenty thousand needless letters written yearly might, but for the duty, have amounted to some millions, and the welfare of the country in proportion been increased. How far (should the tax be taken off) this evil may be remedied, Mr. Punch will not pretend to conjecture at present. But if he may prophesy the future from the past, he will not much endanger his prophetic reputation by predicting that whatever be its national advantage, the Waste Paper Department will still flourish and increase. A CHEER FOR GARIBALDI. HONOUR to GARIBALDI! Win or lose, A Hero to all time that Chief goes down. Whatever issue his emprise ensues, He, certain of unquenchable renown, Fights for a victor's or a martyr's crown. Another side than CATO's Heaven may please: Forbid it, Heaven! but still the devotees Of priestly tyranny shall never drown His name in his true blood; their hireling balls May gore his noble bosom; but he falls The Champion of United Italy Against brute force with monkery allied. Stanch wrestler, as a man, for Liberty, "Twill be on record how he fought and died. WHAT WILL THIS COST TO PRINT? is the heading of an adverproceeds to cram together, into two lines, three of the "loudest lies" which aro tisement perpetually thrust under the public eye. The advertiser immediately often invented even in these days. He says that the above question is a thought often occurring to Literary Minds, Public Characters, and "but to dispose first of the thought never occurs to them, because what they write is at once and gladly the preliminary falsehoods. "Literary Minds" is bad English for Literary Men. taken from them by another class whose business it is to know all about the cost, with which Literary Minds would meddle only to make a mull of that business. Public Characters address the world either through the medium of speeches, which are reported without cost to the speakers, or through letters to the journals. But to come to the third and most preposterous limb of the proposition, “and Persons of Benevolent Intentions !" A person of benevolent intention, desiring to insertion in a journal! Call such a person benevolent! Vain, garrulous, opinionated, sentimental, designing, lunatic, what you like, not benevolent, certainly not. in the interest of truth, Mr. Punch calls on the journals to abstain from scandalising the world with the future insertion of What will this Cost to Print ! " We see that they are measured by an Income-Tax of £35, calculated very likely on their annual value. This, therefore, must be very great, insomuch as probably to enable JAMEs to invest ample capital in free-force on the public anything not worth a publisher's paying for, or not worth hold property or the funds; or in foreign securities, if he contemplates with apprehension the ultimate development of MESSRS. BRIGHT and GLADSTONE'S finance. It is evident, however, that he approves of the And |