ST. LUKE'S AND BEDLAM.

ON Wednesday evening, last week, took place the Annual Christmas Ball of the patients in St. Luke's Hospital. On the previous day the Roman Catholics of London met together at the Hanover Square Rooms, to express sympathy with the POPE, and antipathy to LORD PALMERSTON, LORD JOHN RUSSELL, and LOUIS NAPOLEON. The former assembly, we are informed by the report of it in the Times, was characterised by the utmost good order and strict decorum. At the latter, the language employed by the principal speakers afforded evidence of violent delusions. MR. RICHARD KEELEY, the Chairman, vituperated "the publisher of Punch." A letter, said to have been written by LORD FIELDING, was read, declaring that the POPE had been driven from Rome in 1848 by the Government of LORD JOHN RUSSELL, which had supplied the chiefs of the Revolution with money at the rate of half-a-dollar a day. Another letter, attributed to MR. M. J. RHODES, denounced the constitutional movement in Italy in outrageous terms. MR. H. J. PRENDERGAST delivered a long harangue, in which he insisted not merely that "the POPE had exercised his tem poral power most discreetly, religiously, and humanely," but even 'that his great fault in the eyes of English Protestants was, that he had no fault at all," the orator evidently having confounded the idea of his Holiness with that of the Immaculate Conception. MR. BRETT moved an inconsistent resolution, which affirmed, in a roundabout way, the belief of Catholics in the independence of the Pore's spiritual |

A STRIKE IN THE PARLOUR.

THE wife of a distinguished Private in one of the Civil Service Rifle Corps has struck for an increase of housekeeping money; for she says her husband comes home now with such an enormous appetite after having been two hours at drill, that it is utterly impossible to provide the dinners for the same allowance that she has hitherto done. Suppers, too, were formerly an unknown thing in her establishment; but now, regularly three times a-week, her lord and master complains of being so hungry before going to bed, that the tray has to be brought up purposely for him. His consumption is full three times greater than it was before he became a Volunteer. It is, therefore, under these indisputable facts,-to prove which butchers' and bakers' bills can be brought forward in scores too formidable to admit of a sneer, or much less a denial, that an increase of the home estimates has been peremptorily demanded; and we believe that matters have reached such an alarming height in the establishment in question, that the lady has found it necessary to make a special appeal to her respected mother-in-law to induce her to interfere in the matter, with a view of arbitrating upon it, and getting it properly settled as it ought to be.

It was only yesterday, we are informed, that this poor unfortunate Volunteer, whose appetite is seemingly far beyond his control, finished a leg of mutton almost by himself; and the worst is, with the small Government pittance which as an underpaid Government clerk he draws, that this is a degree of voraciousness which he can ill afford. From the additional exercise that he has lately been taking, his appetite has completely outgrown the small size of his means, which at the best of times was always a tight fit; but now shortly it will be quite impossible for him, without pulling in a great deal, to make both ends meet, if he goes on much longer at the same extravagant rate. What with the drilling he gets abroad, and the drilling he gets when he goes home, his present life will soon be too much for him; though the latter, it must be confessed, though carried out with the greatest severity, has not the slightest effect in diminishing the enormous powers of demolition sharpened to an unnatural degree by the former.

THE singing of a kettle in one respect resembles the singing of a stage singer. An attempt to overdo it will be followed by a hiss.

authority on his temporal power; and also their opinion that the one could not be duly exercised apart from the other. The proceedings came to a conclusion attended with the characteristic incident thus reported:

high preferment in the Established Church, and during whose speech MR. T. A. "The meeting was subsequently addressed by MR. HARPER, who formerly held MALONE, a lecturer on chemistry and a Catholic, who had ventured to say the POPE would be freer in Ireland than in Rome, received some very tough usage indeed at the hands of some violent partisans near the door. He was struck violently in the eye, forced from the room, and lost his hat in the mêlée.""

In all particulars that may be considered as indications of right mind, the assemblage at St. Luke's had manifestly very much the advantage of the gathering at Hanover Square. The latter appears to have included some persons who were positively dangerous. The whole number of people present was about 2,000. It is probable that the institution, whose inmates exhibit so favourable a contrast by the side of those other parties, would not hold so many patients as these amount to, or else the right persons would have been in the right places if they had all taken part in the quiet ball of the night following the day of their excited demonstration, and had stayed where they were after it was over. As it was, they were dancing mad. It would be something quite in their own way, to sacrifice a little time at the shrine, and partake for a season of the hospitality, of ST. LUKE.

FOWL PLAY.-Chicken Hazard,

THE CONVERTED CABMAN.

DON'T 'it your 'oss 'is 'ed across,

MURDER IN JEST.

To MR. SLEIGH, Barrister-at-Law. MR. SLEIGH, MR. SLEIGH, pray mind what jokes you make in your capacity of Advocate. It is quite true that the Mansion House is a comic tribunal. It is equally undeniable that a squabble between two gentlemen, named respectively LAZARUS SIMON MAGNUS and HENRY GUEDALLA, the latter being a member of the Stock Exchange, both of them shareholders in the Great Eastern steamship, and the dispute having originated from an altercation which took place at a meeting of that body, must necessarily be an absurd affair. A snobbish, illwritten, mis-spelt, threatening letter, which one gent, evidently of the Hebrew persuasion, is accused of sending to another gent, probably of the same, undoubtedly constitutes a ludicrous case. The epistle, however, which MR. LAZARUS SIMON MAGNUS, or SIMON MAGUS, was charged with writing to MR. GUEDALLA, contained an offer to fight a duel; and in allusion to this, I find you addressing the subjoined facetious observations to the LORD MAYOR:

"The only part of the letter which I should have supposed would have excited attention in these days of Rifle Corps and martial enthusiasm is that which offers satisfaction, and to which I should have thought any gentleman feeling himself insulted would have given his perfect acquiescence, although my learned friend has told us that duelling has been scouted from among gentlemen."

Now, MR. SLEIGH, this is a sort of fun of which I hope that you will give us no more. To jest, in a court of justice, even though in the Mansion House, and before the MAYOR, on fear, imputed to one gent, of fighting another gent, is mischievous waggery. It is not so very long since two linendraper's assistants fought a duel; one of them was killed, the survivor and the seconds were tried for murder, convicted of manslaughter, and imprisoned for some two years. Duelling accordingly lost caste, and we have had little or none of it since the shop-boy was shot. "In these days," however, "of Rifle Corps and martial enthusiasm," as you say, a revival of the practice is a not unlikely peril. The world is not getting more intelligent or humane

But treat him quite contrary,
Best means is fair, I larned that 'ere
Attendin' MR. RAREY.

He, all for love, a lectur' guv
We cab and 'busmen gratis,
And full as true as twice one's two,

The words as he did state is.

He proved the fact, for bein' whacked
A'oss 'as no occasion,

Don't 'ave recourse, he says, to force,
But take and try persuasion.

And there I seed how that agreed
With that vunce wicious Cruiser,

Which, bein' shown, all coves must own

How wide-awake his views are.

That there tame thing, around the ring,

As playful as a kitten,

All by a strawr I seen him drawr,
And never kicked nor bitten!
Upon the ground, a 'oss, unbound,
Lay, mild as any weather.

He took his 'oofs, for further proofs,
And knocked 'em both together.

On one's 'ind 'anch, so game and stanch,
I'll swear I ain't a 'ummin',

A drum he beat, and, no deceit,
That are 'oss stood the drummin'
A 'oss 'as mind, and, next mankind,
Stands foremost in creation,-
Regardin' which, treat 'im as sich,
Was RAREY's obserwation.

With this 'ere vhip my 'oss's 'ip
I'll now touch up no longer,
Upon the rawr; give pain,-what for,
When kindness acts the stronger?
To think what I have larned, my eye,
This blessed January!

Well, here's success to gentleness,
As taught by MR. RAREY!

than it was; brutal duels have lately taken place in France; duels more brutal still in America.

As to the immorality and wickedness of duelling, I will not say a word, because if I did you would laugh me to scorn, either for telling you what you deem a truism, or for asserting principles which you disbelieve and deride. But I would ask you to observe, that the prevalence of the usage of mortal combat is a dreadful nuisance to any man who has brains in his head, and objects to have them blown out by the hands, and at the will, of a blockhead. There was a time, when, if the greatest fool at large, and occupying the station of a gentleman, thought proper to give me the lie, the insult itself being contemptibly false, I was obliged, on pain of infamy, to call him out, and allow him a chance of shooting me through the head, or any other part of the body situated in front.

Fancy the plague which it would now be, to be forced to incur the risk not merely of the loss of life, but even that of the loss of a limb, for a cause of no more concern to you than the bark of a dog! Observe, that the risk would be all your own; for what wise man would shoot the fool he was compelled to challenge, and consequently have to stand a trial for his life, and at least get found guilty of manslaughter, which is felony, and entails loss of goods and chattels; as you ought to know. So, no more jokes on the subject of duelling, if you love me; your gentle monitor,

Laurels for Laurie.

PUNCH.

SIR PETER is as good as ever. His mind is like a Stilton, the older it grows, the more it is appreciated by those who partake of the luxury. Lately, he was talking about the "oppressious" weather, and remarked, with a degree of candour that every one was charmed with, that he "really felt half-stupid." "Persevere, my dear SIR PETER," said DANIEL WHITTLE HARVEY, as he patted him encouragingly on the back, "and you may find the missing half, for I am sure it is of no use to any one but the owner."

of gallantry, and makes gentlemen who visit her attentive to their hostess, if only for the cause that they have nothing else to do.

MACAULAY IN WESTMINSTER ABBEY.
JANUARY 9, 1860.

AMONG the men whose words and deeds
He best has taught our time to prize;
MACAULAY'S honoured coffin lies,
Mid hush of jarring cliques and creeds.
A shadow falls upon his grave

When morning lights the eastern pane;
And one, when sunset splendours rain
Through the west window of the nave:
That by his recent marble thrown,

Who sang of NELSON and the North,
And "England's mariners" rang forth
In music like a trumpet-tone.

This, by his earlier statue flung,

Who in the lettered reign of ANNE
Stands out, serenest type of man,
Best wielder of our English tongue-
ADDISON, CAMPBELL-such the guards
At our MACAULAY's head and feet:

And what companionship more meet-
Of Essayists and Lyric bards-

For him, whose almost boyish breath
The battle-ballad's clarion blew,
And thence heroic war-notes drew,
To breathe a soul through ribs of death-
When the Armada's march he sang,

Along the guarded English steep,,
While leaping watch-fires lit the deep,
And village-bells defiance rang?
For him, whose later essays taught

To narrative fresh arts of grace:
Gave to old truths a novel face,
And new to crystal clearness wrought?
If with the genial English life

That in SIR ROGER charms the mind,
Drawing us closer to our kind,
His brilliant pages were not rife,

Yet let us own the Art that threw
Concentred light on giant men:
Made CLIVE and HASTINGS breathe again,
And LAUD and STRAFFORD strive anew.
Fitly his resting-place is given

With these great dead he loved so well.
Stand on his grave, and you may tell
The chief stars of our English heaven.
From CHAUCER's glad May-morning beam,
To SPENSER'S planet rays that warm
Cold Allegory with a charm

Of life, seld given to Fancy's dream-
And CAMDEN's steady light, that falls

In each dim nook of England's past,
Now on some worn inscription cast,
Now on grey tower or minster walls-
And JOHNSON'S, BEAUMONT'S, changing stars,
One moment glad as Hesper's glow
With light of mirth:-to tragic woe,
Shifting, the next, like blood-red Mars-
And all the galaxy that fused

Their lesser splendours into one,
When WILLIAM ceased, and ANNE begun,
And state-craft writer-craft abused.
Who knew and treasured of all these
What was worth treasuring, more than he
Who to their silent company
Has last gone down, from life and ease?

Yet love and skill of letters give

But half his claim to take his state
In our Valhalla, with the great,
Whose names in lettered memories live-

With our historic worthies, too,

He shared state-life: their measure gauged With rule, where strife of party raged, Perchance not always just or true;

Yet, granting error, and an eye

Too prone to wink excuse for friends,
Too sharp for flaw in means or ends
Of those whose camps o'erthwart him lie,
Who shall deny his pen has cast

New life in all wherewith it deals;
That light from his bright pages steals,
Between the clouds that wreathe the past ?-
Who shall gainsay his right to sleep

With those whom England honours most: Whom, while they live, we loudest boast,] Whom, when they die, we truliest weep?

MORE FANCIES BY THE FIRELIGHT. S the fire in the fireplace won't burn without a draught, so the fire of inspiration, to prevent its dying out, needs every now and then a draft upon a banker. Some persons pretend they can see portraits in the fire. But what they fancy to be photographs are generally all smoke. Pokers are like critics. Useful as incentives. They are of use too as correctives; but their uses, to do good, must be tempered by good judgment. There is the fear always of their being used too much. As an overdose

of poker often puts a fire out, so an overdose of criticism may extinguish the poetic fire in its first spark, and prevent its ever bursting into flame.

The grate looks bright and cheerful in the evening, when the fire is in it; but see it the next morning, how dead and dull it is! So is it with the Great. They shine brilliantly at night when the champagne fire is in them; but when their soda's brought next morning the shine is quite gone out of them.

When it is discovered where dead donkeys go to, perhaps a poker may be found in the fender at a Railway station.

Finally, my son, however much thy wit may sparkle, be not overdazzled by it. Take warning by the writer. Fancies written in the firelight turn out not unfrequently unfit to see the daylight.

ITS NATIVE ELEMENT.

THE native element of the Great Eastern seems to be hot water, for it has scarcely been in anything else ever since it was first launched. It should not cost the ship much for coals since in consequence of the liberality of the Directors, the engineers are provided with hot water for nothing. The cost of this fluid at suburban tea-gardens is generally "2d. per head." The outlay to the company of the Great Eastern has been somewhat above that modest figure, for the average of the expense has been at the rate of £1 per head; but then the shareholders should not complain, considering the large quantity that they have received, and taking into consideration also, that there has been no extra charge for the fun and excitement of the meetings.

Paw and Maw.

WE lately lighted upon an advertisement of MAW's Feeding Bottle. Noticing the odd name of the proprietor of this invention, we occasioned a young lady, who had received a first-rate education at a Brixton boarding-school, to remark, that a nice feeding-bottle must be such a convenience to a baby's Maw!

THE SCOTCH PHARISEES' LAST!

THE subjoined specimen of Scotch Sabbatarianism is quoted from the Standard:

"SABBATH DESECRATION IN SCOTLAND.

"At a Meeting of the Edinburgh United Presbyterian Association on Tuesday, a report was read by the REV. W. REID on the subject of Sabbath Desecration. At the outset it referred to the abatement which had taken place since 1853 of certain forms of Sabbath desecration, noticing specially the shutting up of the public-houses by the Forbes Mackenzie Act. It then noticed, as another form of Sabbath desecration which had been somewhat abated,' the practice of burying the dead on Sundays. During the five years terminating with 1848 the interments on Sunday in Warriston Cemetery were 20-70 per cent. of the whole, while during the five years just terminated they have been only 16.36 per cent. This decrease,' continued the report, while gratifying, is far from being what is desirable. While it cannot be denied that there are frequent instances in which the nature of the disease causing death, and the limited accommodation of the dwellings in which death takes place, may demand burial, even on the Sabbath, it is evident that the practice extends far beyond the limits of this necessity. The reasons which sustain the practice are doubtless the convenience of friends and relatives-in some instances, it is feared, the pride of securing a large attendance-while the solemnity of the duty commended itself to many as quite in accordance with Sabbath-day observance. It has been suggested that did ministers decline attending funerals on the Sabbath, much would be done to abate the evil."

So, according to these Scottish wearers of the broad phylactery, it is not lawful to bury the dead on Sundays. Perhaps they would also object to healing the sick. What day of the week was it when the Children in the Wood died? If on the first, which the Scotch edition of the Fourth Commandment calls the "Sabbath," how would the United Presbyterians of Edinburgh have served the little warbler in the red waistcoat, the pious bird that so

No doubt they would have stoned Cock Robin. For the Christian service which he rendered the bodies of the innocents on the Sunday, they would unquestionably have pelted him to death on the following Monday morning. The solemnity of the act would not have commended itself to them as by any means in accordance with Sabbath-day observance, and Jack of Geneva would have broken Robin's bones, as surely as benevolent CALVIN before him burned SERVETUS.

Is there a pin to choose between Jack and Lord Peter? If Jack had been ruler of Rome and the Legations, would he not as effectually have made them too hot to hold him as has that big brother of his who sits upon seven hills in three hats, and wearing petticoats and white satin shoes?

Among the stupid fanatics, or hypocrites, who met to hear the shocking nonsense above quoted, there were, however, two respectable Divines. The REV. MR. COOPER, of Fala, protested that he could not warn his people against the practice of Sunday burial as a desecration of the Sabbath. And

"The REV. W. RENNIE, of Dalkeith, could not subscribe to that portion of the

report referring to Sunday funerals. He did not see why they should denounce as wrong Sunday funerals. He was not aware of any passage in Scripture in which this point was advanced, nor was he aware that the Jews were debarred from burying their dead on the Sabbath-day. At the same time, he was desirous that the funerals on Sundays should be as few as possible. The report stated that the pride of having a large company to attend the funeral had to do with the matter. Now this was a very uncharitable view of it, as the Sunday was often the only day poor people could get for the funeral. He did not see how a burial on the Lord's Day was a desecration. People died on the Lord's Day as well as on any other day Sabbath-day." of the week, and he did not see any impropriety or incongruity in a funeral on the

The foregoing rebuke to the dense and blind bigotry of the speaker's Calvinistic associates is remarkable not only for wisdom, but also for wit-uncommon qualities both of them, the former equally with the latter, on the part of the Sabbatarian professors of the Kirk. MR. RENNIE neatly remarked, that "he was desirous that the funerals on Sundays should be as few as possible." Capital, reverend and pleasant RENNIE! Funerals on Sundays as few as possible? To be sure, and as few, also, as possible on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. Bravo, RENNIE!

"Reweigh this Justice."

ONE ADAM VALANCE, a Catholic, of somewhere in Limerick, has been pounced upon by the priests, and handed to the law, and sent to prison. His offence was, that he went about and "under false pretences" collected the sum of one and ninepence, which he alleged was to be applied in aid of the POPE. Well, if it were shown that "the offending Adam" meant to confiscate that eleemosynary twenty-one pennies to his own use, we suppose that his punishment was just. But this should be clear, for otherwise he may be as innocent as ANTONELLI, or ISABELLA SEGUNDA. For how, in the name of all truth__and humanity, can anybody obtain a single penny of charity for POPE PERUGIA, except under false pretences ?

CROSSED IN LOVE.-The Hellespont, every time that LEANDER swam over it to meet his heroine of a HERO.

"Sir,-There are, I have heard, many good Catholics who are of opinion that they would not be aoting agreeably to the wish of the POPE if they were to make him an offering.of money. I may be allowed to do something towards setting at rest this question-whether we ought or ought not to send money to the POPE-by making an extract from the letter which I have received from the venerated ecclesiastic at Rome to whose care I had committed the address to his Holiness, and the little offering made by the people of this place."

Conceive the innocence which could entertain the question, whether the POPE would object to an offering of money. Try him! Such would be the exclamation of the least wide-awake mortal to whom any uncertainty on that point was suggested. The experiment was per: formed by the REV. MR. MONTGOMERY, with the satisfactory result

thus described:

"I duly received your esteemed letter, with the address and accompanying draft for £10, the oblation of your good congregation to our Holy Father, Pius IX. Agreeably to your request, I shall have the address at once translated and duly presented; but in the meantime (to gain time) I made out a summary of it in Italian, and at once presented it to the Cardinal Secretary of State, H. E. C. ANTONELLI, with the enclosed amount, who at once laid it before his Holiness, who was greatly consoled by this act of filial devotion of his faithful children of the mission of Wednesbury."

No doubt his Holiness was greatly consoled by the receipt of £10, accompanied by an address which probably tended to intimate that there was more money where that came from. Such sterling consolation under the inevitable afflictions of this life is acceptable to almost anybody; by most people it is regarded as the only true solace which can be administered to real distress. The POPE is very likely hard up; but even if he were ever so flush, his Holiness, in common with all inankind, would be safe to know what to do with a £10 note,

if sent to him. Whatever may be the result of Congress, or the policy of LOUIS NAPOLEON, the Holy Father will doubtless continue open to subscriptions to any amount, whilst the smallest contributions will be sure to be thankfully received. Let not the bashful Irishman, therefore, be ashamed to offer his mite to the common Father of the Faithful, who will be very glad of it, and whom it will help to afford a more respectable maintenance than tribute extorted from involuntary subjects.

ALBERT SMITH'S "PIGEON."

BETWEEN the repulse at Peiho and the illness of ALBERT SMITH, Chinese affairs have not been on a satisfactory footing of late. It is therefore highly gratifying to know, that our French ally has actually sent off his General to the East, and that our English entertainer has re-appeared in Piccadilly. We hope that it is not unaffectionate to say rather inclined to believe that the new Chinese campaign will be so, but with certain Crimean recollections strong upon us, we are carried on with most loyalty by GENERAL ALBERT. At all events we are certain he will not bring it to a conclusion without due consideration for his allies, and that he will give them all due recognition of their presence, and of their zeal in taking places-a trifling attention to facts which is occasionally pretermitted over the water. Seriatim, as VISCOUNT WILLIAMS says, we deplored, in company with the QUEEN, and in common with the public, the affliction which interrupted MR. ALBERT SMITH's entertainment, and are exceedingly happy to "depend" upon a French General (on this occasion only) a congratulation to our pleasant-faced, pleasant-tongued lecturer, upon his resuming his Nights with the Pigtails. In the words of CONFUCIUS (whom we never read, and have not the least intention of reading) "May our EGYPTIAN Fisher always have a good HAUL."

POST OFFICE ORDER:-The great regularity shown in all the departments of St. Martin's-le-Grand, ever since RowLAND HILL has been Secretary there.