The villain is o'er-wrought of all my money.
They fay this town is full of cozenage;
As nimble jugglers that deceive the eye,
Dark-working forcerers that change the mind,
Soul-killing witches that deform the body,
Difguifed cheaters, prating mountebanks,
And many fuch like liberties of fin:
If it prove fo, I will be gone the fooner.
I'll to the Centaur to go feek this slave;
I greatly fear my money is not fafe.

[Exit.

SCENE I. The House of Antipholis of Ephefus..
Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA.

Adriana.

EITHER my husband nor the flave return'd,

That in fuch hafte I sent to feek his mafter !

Sure, Luciana, it is two o'clock.

Luc, Perhaps fome merchant hath invited him, And from the mart he's fomewhere gone to dinner. Good fifter, let us dine, and never fret:

A man is master of his liberty;

Time is their mafter; and, when they fee time,
They'll go or come: If fo, be patient, fifter.

Adr. Why fhould their liberty than ours be more?
Luc. Because their business ftill lies out o’door.
Aar. Look, when I ferve him fo, he takes it ill.
Luc. Oh, know he is the bridle of your will.
Adr. There's none but affes will be bridled fo.
Luc. Why head-ftrong liberty is lafh'd with woe.
There's nothing fituate under heaven's eye,
But hath his bound in earth, in fea, in fky:
The beasts, the fishes, and the winged fowls,
Are their males' fubject, and at their controls:
Men, more divine, the mafters of all these,
Lords of the wide world, and wild watry feas,
Indu'd with intellectual fenfe and fouls,
Of more pre-eminence than fish and fowls,

Are mafters to their females, and their lords:
Then let your will attend on their accords.

Adr. This fervitude makes you to keep unwed.
Luc. Not this, but troubles of the marriage-bed.
Adr. But, were you wedded, you would bear fome fway.
Luc. Ere I learn love, I'll practice to obey.

Adr. How if your hufband ftart fome other where?
Luc. 'Till he come home again I would forbear.
Adr. Patience unmov'd, no marvel though the pause;
They can be meek, that have no other caufe
A wretched foul, bruis'd with adverfity,
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;

But were we burden'd with like weight of pain,
As much, or more, we fhould ourselves complain :
So thou, that haft no unkind mate to grieve thee,
With urging helplefs patience would't relieve me:
But, if thou live to fee like right bereft,
This fool-begg'd patience in thee will be left.

Luc. Well, I will marry one day but to try;
Here comes your man, now is your husband nigh.

Enter DROMIO of Ephesus.

Adr. Say, is your tardy mafter now at hand? E. Dro. Nay, he is at two hands with me, and that my two ears can witness.

Adr. Say, didit thou speak with him? know'ft thou his mind?

E. Dro. Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine ear: Befhrew his hand, I fcarce could understand it.

Luc. Spake he fo doubtfully thou couldst not feel his meaning?

E. Dra. Nay, he ftruck fo plainly, I could too well feel his blows; and withal fo doubtfully, that I could fcarce understand them.

Adr. But fay, I prithee, is he coming home?" It seems he hath great care to please his wife.

E. Dro. Why, miftrefs, fure my mafter is horn-mad. Adr. Horn-mad, thou villain?

E. Dro. I mean not cuckold-mad; but fure he's ftark

mad:

When I defir'd him to come home to dinner

He afk'd me for a thousand marks in gold:
'Tis dinner-time, quoth I; My gold? quoth he:
Your meat doth burn; quoth I; My gold? quoth he:
Will you come? quoth I; My gold? quoth he:
Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, villain?
The pig, quoth I, is burn'd: My gold? quoth he
My mistress, fir, quoth I: Hang up thy mistress;
I know not thy mistress; out on thy mistress!
Luc. Quoth who?

E. Dro. Quoth my master:

I know, quoth he, no house, no wife, no mistress;-
So that my errand, due unto my tongue,

I thank him, I bare home upon my shoulders;

For, in conclufion, he did beat me there.

Adr, Go back again, thou flave, and fetch him home, E. Dro. Go back again and be new beaten home? For God's fake fend fome other meffenger.

Adr. Back, flave, or I will break thy pate across.. E. Dra. And he will blefs that cross with other beating: Between you I fhall have a holy head.

Adr. Hence, prating peasant; fetch thy mafter home, E. Dro. Am I round with you as you with me, That like a foot-ball you do fpurn me thus? You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither: If I laft in this fervice, you must cafe me in leather. [Exit, Luc. Fye, how impatience lowreth in your face? Adr. His company must do his minions grace, Whilst I at home ftarve for a merry look. Hath homely age the alluring beauty took From my poor cheek? then he hath waited it; Are my difcourfes dull? barren my wit? If voluble and sharp difcourfe be marr'd, Unkindness blunts it more than marble hard. Do their gay vestments his affections bait? That's not my fault, he's master of my ftate: What ruins are in me than can be found By him not ruin'd? then is he the ground Of my defeatures: My decayed, fair A funny look of his would foon repair a

But too unruly deer, he breaks the pale,
And feeds from home; poor I am but his ftale.
Luc. Self-harming jealoufy!-fye, beat it hence.
Adr. Unfeeling fools can with fuch wrongs difpenfe.
I know his eye doth homage other where;
Or elfe what lets it but he would be here?
Sifter, you know he promis'd me a chain;-
Would that alone alone he would detain,
So he would keep fair quarter with his bed!
I fee the jewel, best enamelled,

Will lofe his beauty; and the gold 'bides ftill
That others touch; yet often touching will
Wear gold: and fo no man, that hath a name,
But falfehood and corruption doth it shame.
Since that my beauty cannot please his eye,
I'll weep what's left away, and weeping die.
Luc. How many fond fools ferve mad jealoufy!

SCENE II. The Street.

Enter ANTIPHOLIS of Syracufe.

Ant. The gold I gave to Dromio is laid up
Safe at the Centaur; and the heedful flave
Is wander'd forth in care to feek me out.
By computation, and mine hoft's report,
I could not fpeak with Dromio fince at firft
I fent him from the mart: See, here he comes.
Enter DROMIO of Syracuse.
How now, fir? is your merry humour alter'd!
As you love ftrokes, fo jeft with me again.
You know no Centaur? you receiv'd no gold?
Your mistress fent to have me home to dinner?
My houfe was at the Phoenix? Wast thou mad,
That thus fo madly thou didst answer me?

}

[Exeunt.

S. Dro. What anfwer, fir? when spake I such a word? Ant. Even now, even here, not half an hour fince. S. Dro. I did not fee you fince you fent me hence, Home to the Centaur, with the gold you gave me.

Ant. Villain thou didft deny the gold's receipt; And told'ft me of a mistress and a dinner; For which, I hope, thou felt'ft I was difpleas'd. S. Dro. I am glad to fee you in this merry vein : what means this jeft? I pray you, master, tell me. Ant. Yea, doft thou jeer and flout me in the teeth? Think'ft thou, I jeft? Hold, take thou that, and that. [Beats DROMIO. S. Dro. Hold, fir, for God's fake: now your jeft is earneft:

Upon what bargain do you give it me?

nt. Because that I familiarly fometimes Do use you for my fool, and chat with you, Your faucinefs will jeft upon my love,

And make a common of my serious hours.
When the fun fhines let foolish gnats make fport,
But creep in crannies when he hides his beams.
If you will jeft with me, know my aspect,
And fafhion your demeanour to my looks,
Or 1-will beat this method in your fconce.

S. Dro. Sconce, call you it? fo you would leave battering, I had rather have it a head: an you use these blows long, I must get a fconce for my head, and infconce it too, or else I fhall feek my wit in my fhoulders. But, I pray, fir, why am I beaten?

Ant. Doft thou not know?

1

dad

S. Dro. Nothing, fir; but that I am beaten.
Ant. Shall I tell you why?

S. Dro. Ay, fir, and wherefore; for they fay, every why hath a wherefore.

Ant. Why, firft, for flouting me; and then wherefore,-For urging it the fecond time to me.

S. Dro. Was there ever any man thus beaten out of feafon ?

When, in the why, and the wherefore, is neither rhime nor reafon?

Well, fir, I thank you.

Ant. Thank me, fir? for what?

S. Dro. Marry, fir, for this fomething that you gave me for nothing.