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Thus the she-tyrant reigns, till pleas'd with change,
Her wild affections to new empires range:
Her mother living, hope no quiet day;
The doctor's call'd; the daughter, taught the trick,
Pretends to faint; and in full health is fick.
No caufe is try'd at the litigious bar, But women plaintiffs or defendants are, They form the procefs, all the briefs they write;
The topics furnish, and the pleas indite; 344( And teach the toothless lawyer how to bite. They turn viragos too; the wreftler's toil They try, and fmear their naked limbs with oil:
Against the poft their wicker fhields they crush,
Her coats tuck'd up; and all her motions juft, She ftamps, and then cries, hah! at ev'ry thrust: But laugh to fee her, tir'd with many a bout, Call for the pot, and like a man piss out. 370 The ghofts of ancient Romans, should they rife,
Would grin to see their daughters play a prize. Befides, what endless brawls by wives are bred:
The curtain-lecture makes a mournful bed. Then, when fhe has thee fure within the fheets,
Her cry begins, and the whole day repeats. Confcious of crimes herself, fhe teizes firft; Thy fervants are accus'd; thy whore is curft; She acts the jealous, and at will fhe cries; 379 For women's tears are but the sweat of eyes. Poor cuckold-fool, thou think'ft that love fincere,
And fuck'ft between her lips the falling tear:
ev'n then she cries the marriage-vow
A mental refervation must allow ;
And there's a filent bargain ftill imply'd, 390) The parties fhould be pleas'd on either fide: And both may for their private needs provide.
Though men yourfelves, and women us you call,
Yet homo is a common name for all,
You afk from whence proceed these monftrous crimes ?
poor, and therefore chafte, in former times, Our matrons were: no luxury found room In low-rooft houses, and bare walls of lome; 400 Their hands with labour harden'd while 'twas light,
And frugal fleep fupply'd the quiet night, While pinch'd with want, their hunger held 'em ftraight;
When Hannibal was hov'ring at the gate:
Ver. 404. Hannibal] A famous Carthaginian captain; who was upon the point of conquering the Romans.
No crime, no luftful poftures are unknown;
And our plain fimple manners to betray. 415What care our drunken dames to whom they spread?
Wine no diftinction makes of tail or head.
And double tapers on the tables dance.
Now think what bawdy dialogues they have, What Tullia talks to her confiding flave, At Modefty's old ftatue; when by night They make a ftand, and from their litters light: The good man early to the levee goes, And treads the nafty paddle of his spouse.
The fecrets of the goddefs nam'd the Good, Are ev'n by boys and barbers understood: 431
Ver. 430. The Good goddess.] At whose feasts no men were to be prefent.