Thus the she-tyrant reigns, till pleas'd with change,

Her wild affections to new empires range:
Another fubject-husband the defires ;
Divorc'd from him, fhe to the first retires,
While the laft wedding-feaft is scarcely o'er, 320
And garlands hang yet green upon the door.
So ftill the reck'ning rifes; and appears
In total fum, eight husbands in five years.
The title for a tomb-ftone might be fit;
But that it would too commonly be writ.

Her mother living, hope no quiet day;
She fharpens her, inftructs her how to flea
Her husband bare, and then divides the prey.
She takes love-letters, with a crafty fmile,
And, in her daughter's answer, mends the style.
In vain the husband fets his watchful fpies; 331
She cheats their cunning, or the bribes their
eyes.

The doctor's call'd; the daughter, taught the trick,

Pretends to faint; and in full health is fick.
The panting stallion, at the closet-door,
Hears the confult, and wishes it were o'er.
Can'st thou, in reason, hope, a bawd so known
Should teach her other manners than her own?
Her int'reft is in all th' advice fhe gives :
"Tis on the daughter's rents the mother lives. 340

325

335

No caufe is try'd at the litigious bar, But women plaintiffs or defendants are, They form the procefs, all the briefs they write;

The topics furnish, and the pleas indite; 344( And teach the toothless lawyer how to bite. They turn viragos too; the wreftler's toil They try, and fmear their naked limbs with oil:

Against the poft their wicker fhields they crush,
Flourish the fword, and at the plaftron push.
Of ev'ry exercise the mannish crew
Fulfils the parts, and oft excels us too;
Prepar'd not only in feign'd fights t' engage,
But rout the gladiators on the ftage.
What fenfe of fhame in fuch a breast can lie,
Inur'd to arms, and her own fex to fly?
Yet to be wholly man fhe would disclaim;
To quit her tenfold pleasure at the game,
For frothy praises and an empty name.
Oh what a decent fight 'tis to behold
All thy wife's magazine by auction fold!
The belt, the crefted plume, the several suits
Of armour, and the Spanish leather boots!
Yet these are they, that cannot bear the heat
Of figur'd filks, and under farcenet sweat.
Behold the ftrutting Amazonian whore,
She ftands in guard with her right foot before:

360

365

350

355

}

Her coats tuck'd up; and all her motions juft, She ftamps, and then cries, hah! at ev'ry thrust: But laugh to fee her, tir'd with many a bout, Call for the pot, and like a man piss out. 370 The ghofts of ancient Romans, should they rife,

Would grin to see their daughters play a prize. Befides, what endless brawls by wives are bred:

The curtain-lecture makes a mournful bed. Then, when fhe has thee fure within the fheets,

375

Her cry begins, and the whole day repeats. Confcious of crimes herself, fhe teizes firft; Thy fervants are accus'd; thy whore is curft; She acts the jealous, and at will fhe cries; 379 For women's tears are but the sweat of eyes. Poor cuckold-fool, thou think'ft that love fincere,

And fuck'ft between her lips the falling tear:
But fearch her cabinet, and thou fhalt find
Each tiller there with love-epiftles lin'd.
Suppofe her taken in a close embrace,
This you would think fo manifeft a cafe,
No rhetoric could defend, no impudence out-

385

face:

ev'n then she cries the marriage-vow

And

yet

A mental refervation must allow ;

And there's a filent bargain ftill imply'd, 390) The parties fhould be pleas'd on either fide: And both may for their private needs provide.

Though men yourfelves, and women us you call,

Yet homo is a common name for all,
There's nothing bolder than a woman caught;
Guilt gives them courage to maintain their
fault.

396

You afk from whence proceed these monftrous crimes ?

Once

poor, and therefore chafte, in former times, Our matrons were: no luxury found room In low-rooft houses, and bare walls of lome; 400 Their hands with labour harden'd while 'twas light,

And frugal fleep fupply'd the quiet night, While pinch'd with want, their hunger held 'em ftraight;

When Hannibal was hov'ring at the gate:
But wanton now, and lolling at our ease,
We fuffer all th' invet'rate ills of peace,
And wasteful riot; whofe deftructive charms
Revenge the vanquish'd world, of our victorious

arms.

405

Ver. 404. Hannibal] A famous Carthaginian captain; who was upon the point of conquering the Romans.

No crime, no luftful poftures are unknown;
Since Poverty, our guardian god, is gone: 410
Pride, laziness, and all luxurious arts,
Pour like a deluge in, from foreign parts:
Since gold obfcene, and filver found the way,
Strange fashions with strange bullion to con-

vey,

And our plain fimple manners to betray. 415What care our drunken dames to whom they spread?

Wine no diftinction makes of tail or head.
Who lewdly dancing at a midnight ball,
For hot eringoes and fat oyfters call:
Full brimmers to their fuddled nofes thrust; 420
Brimmers, the laft provocatives of luft.
When vapours to their fwimming brains ad-

vance,

And double tapers on the tables dance.

425

Now think what bawdy dialogues they have, What Tullia talks to her confiding flave, At Modefty's old ftatue; when by night They make a ftand, and from their litters light: The good man early to the levee goes, And treads the nafty paddle of his spouse.

The fecrets of the goddefs nam'd the Good, Are ev'n by boys and barbers understood: 431

Ver. 430. The Good goddess.] At whose feasts no men were to be prefent.