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A NOVEL

“ Arma Virumque cano.”_VIRGIL

IN THREE VOLUMES.

VOL. II.

ABO

LONDON:
T. CLERC SMITH, ST. JAMES'S STREET.

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1827.

காக்க

THE GUARDS.

CHAPTER I.

PARTIES GIVEN BY PROXY.—THE TRICKS OF

THE HAUTE NOBLESSE.

“Qui facit per alterum, facit per se.”

Latin PROVERB. “ Bon homme, bon homme!

Tu n'es pas maître dans ta maison,
Quand nous y sommes.”

French Song.

There are certain men and women in town, who decidedly are not nouns substantive, for they can do nothing by themselves ; they have no will of their own, no ideas of their own, no

VOL. 11.

taste of their own, no power per se, but depend entirely on some one or other to direct them; and this somebody, whether male or female, soidisant friend, adviser, prototype, tiger, or dependant, soon usurps the reins of government, and commands house, purse, conduct, and whole establishment. Such persons may be said to do every thing by proxy. But there are two classes of these proxy people: weak idiots, who are led by some artful, interested, and designing companion; and ambitious creatures, who, aware in some measure of their own insignificance, apply to a titled or a fashionable proxy, to regulate all the affairs of their house, their table, and their station in society. The first class is so imbecile, that a valet, a groom, a horse-dealer, a leg or coxcomb, can make them do what bests suits the interest of each: the monied blockhead is bound to imitate the style, fashion, dress, extravagance, and particular passion of the proxy. If he be an Exquisite, the copyist cannot put on a hat or a coat, without first studying the cut of the one, and the last fashion of the other; such as his original, his oracle, or his tiger wears. If the proxy be à drunkard, a gambler, a turf-man, a sporting-man, or an eccentric, the imitator must have the same passion; but it generally occurs, that the pilot of Folly's bark (who is sure to run it ashore after plundering it) has a taste for all those pastimes; and the monied man is sold to turf, fancy, gaming-table, taverns horse-dealer, jeweller, and jilt, all by the proxy's recommendation. How was Pea-green Ane handled by his advisers, and by those whom he strove to copy and to outdo! How was he turned to account by love, (we do not mean Mr. Love the jeweller,) by liquor, and by the

* Pea-green Ane, Tom Crux, and others, seemed to have most at heart the lavish expenditure of money. No mad and intoxicated tar could ever have a more decided itch for throwing money away, nor was Jack more ridiculous with his doxy, fiddler, and chaise and four, driving up and down to get to the end of his prize money, than Ane, the green-horn of would-be-fashion, was in dissipating his thousands. Conceive any thing more ridiculous than his ordering a dressing-case, the price of

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