VOL. I.-No. 29.]

REVIEW OF BOOKS.

[PRICE ONE PENNY.

man and Hall.

We congratulate the public on the completion of this work, which has been unnecessarily spun out to make the requisite quantity.' The racy humor which ran through the earlier numbers, has long been exhausted; the sooner, therefore, the subject could be wound up, the better for the public's pocket, and the author's fame. We shall not anticipate the reader's pleasure in a perusal of the winding up of the story, but merely subjoin the scene between Mr. Pickwick, Mr. Perker, and Messrs. Dodson and Fogg, the attornies. The two latter have just received the amount of their costs,' in re Bardell v. Pickwick, and are about to leave the room, delighted at feeling the cash safe within their grasp:

"Now Mr. Dodson," said Fogg, putting up the pocket-book and drawing on his gloves, "I am at your service."

"Very good," said Dodson, rising, "I am quite ready."

"I am very happy," said Fogg, softened by the cheque, "to have had the pleasure of making Mr. Pickwick's acquaintance. I hope you don't think quite so badly of us, Mr. Pickwick, as when we first had the pleasure of seeing you."

"I hope not," said Dodson, with the high tone of calumniated virtue. "Mr. Pickwick now knows us better, I trust; whatever your opinion of gentlemen of our profession may be, I beg to assure you, Sir, that I [No. 14, NEW SERIES.]

"Oh, no, no; nor I," said Fogg, in a most forgiving

manner.

"Our conduct, Sir," said Dodson, "will speak for

itself, and justify itself I hope, upon every occasion. We have been in the profession some years, Mr. Pickwick, and have been honored with the confidence of many excellent clients. I wish you good morning, Sir."

"Good morning, Mr. Pickwick," said Fogg; and so saying, he put his umbrella under his arm, drew off his right glove, and extended the hand of reconciliation to that most indignant gentleman, who thereupon thrust his hands beneath his coat tails, and eyed the attorney with looks of scornful amazement.

door."

"Lowten!" cried Perker at this moment, " open the "Wait one instant," said Mr. Pickwick, "Perker, I will speak.

"My dear Sir, pray let the matter rest where it is," said the little attorney, who had been in a state of nervous apprehension during the whole interview; "Mr. Pickwick, I beg-"

"I will not be put down, Sir," replied Mr. Pickwick hastily. "Mr. Dodson, you have addressed some remarks to me."

Dodson turned round, bent his head meekly, and smiled.

"Some remarks to me," repeated Mr. Pickwick, almost breathless,,' and your partner has tendered me his hand, and you have both assumed a tone of forgiveness and high-mindedness, which is an extent of impudence that I was not prepared for, even in you." "What Sir!" exclaimed Dodson. "What Sir!" reiterated Fogg.

"Do you know that I have been the victim of your plots, and conspiracies?" continued Mr. Pickwick. "Do you know that I am the man whom you have been imprisoning and robbing? Do you know that you were the attornies for the plaintiff in Bardell and Pickwick ?"

"Yes, Sir, we do know it," replied Mr. Dodson. "Of course we know it, Sir," rejoined Fogg, slapping his pocket-perhaps by accident.

"I see that you recollect it with satisfaction," said Mr. Pickwick, attempting to call up a sneer for the first time in his life, and failing most signally in so doing. "Although I have long been anxious to tell you in plain terms what my opinion of you is, I should have let even this opportunity pass, in deference to my friend Perker's wishes, but for the unwarrantable tone you have assumed, and your insolent familiarity-I say insolent familiarity, Sir," said Mr. Pickwick, turning upon Fogg with a fierceness of gesture which caused that person to retreat towards the door with great ex pedition.

"Take care, Sir," said Dodson, who, although he was the biggest man of the party, had prudently intrenched himself behind Fogg, and was speaking over his head with a very pale face. "Let him assault you, Mr. Fogg; don't return it on any account."

"No, no, I won't return it," said Fogg, falling back a little more as he spoke; to the evident relief of his partner, who by these means was gradually getting

into the outer office.

"You are," continued Mr. Pickwick, resuming the thread of his discourse, "you are a well-matched pair of mean, rascally, pettifogging robbers."

"Well," interposed Perker, "is that all?" "It is all summed up in that," rejoined Mr. Pickwick; they are mean, rascally, pettifogging robbers." "There," said Perker, in a most conciliatory tone, 66 my dear Sirs, he has said all he has to say: now pray go. Lowten, is that door open?"

Mr. Lowten, with a distant giggle, replied in the affirmative.

"There, there-good morning-good morning-now pray, my dear Sirs,-Mr. Lowten, the door," cried the little man, pushing Dodson and Fogg, nothing loth, out of the office, "this way, my dear Sirs,-now pray don't prolong this dear me-Mr. Lowten-the door, Sir, why don't you attend?"

"If there's law in England, Sir," said Dodson, looking towards Mr. Pickwick, as he put on his hat, you shall smart for this.

"You are a couple of mean-"

"Remember, Sir, you pay dearly for this," said Fogg, shaking his fist.

"-Rascally, pettifogging robbers!" continued Mr. Pickwick, taking not the least notice of the threats that were addressed to him.

"Robbers!" cried Mr. Pickwick, running to the stair head, as the two attornies descended.

"Robbers!" shouted Mr. Pickwick, breaking from Lowten and Perker, and thrusting his head out of the staircase window.

When Mr. Pickwick drew in his head again, his countenance was smiling and placid; and, walking quietly back into the office, he declared that he had now removed a great weight from his mind, and that he felt perfectly comfortable and happy."

The illustrations, this month, are really tole rable. It would seem, that the severe remarks of the press have operated beneficially on the artist, PHIZ, and put him on his mettle. The design on the title page, of old Weller ducking the Shepherd in the horse-trough, is very fairly done; and exhibits, moreover, some little humor. What РHIZ has yet to learn, are— perspective and proportion, of which, at present, he knows little or nothing.

Chelsea Hospital and its Traditions. 3 vols. Bentley.

Mr. Gleig, like many other modern authors, seems bent on getting money; and goes the nearest way about it. The contents of these volumes are, for the most part, copied verbatim from official memoranda furnished by Lord John

Russell, which the author naively excuses, by saying that "tales of old battles are never so well told, as in the words of those who witnessed the battles themselves!" Considering how little trouble has been bestowed upon it, the work is readable enough; but it might have been rendered a valuable as well as an amusing companion, The following anecdote goes far to prove, that hypocrisy may, sometimes, be practiced with advantage:

"When Sir John Moore's army was retreating through Galicia, a party of the 15th Hussars, in which regiment I then served, arrived late one night at a solitary house, midway between Lugos and Valmeda. We had had nothing to eat all day, and were famishing, particularly for lack of bread, which had not crossed our lips for some time back; and as the Spanish peasants generally keep some loaves in store, it became our great object to get possession of the prize at every hazard. A close search, however, in all quarters where such things used to be found, proved unavailing, and we sat round the hearth in the kitchen, wet, weary, cold, dissatisfied, and out of humor. At last it was observed that the padrone and his wife, having seated themselves on a huge chest, near the fireplace, could not, by entreaties, or any other device, be induced to move. I'll be shot, cried a man of the horse artillery, if the old rascal's store of bread be not in that chest; and hang me if I don't get at it in spite of him.' We laughed, and asked him how he would proceed. 'The

must humor them.

'Oh, I'll tell you how to proceed,' cried he. Spaniards, you know, are a mighty pious people, and we Let's sing a hymn on our knees, and when they see us in that attitude, the chance is much against us if they don't kneel too.'

'A hymn!' shouted we, 'what hymn ?' 'Nay,' replied the artilleryman, I dare say you are all wretched hands at psalmody; but surely we all know God save the King.' So here goes, boys-Down with you on your marrow-bones, and up with the

stave.

Down, accordingly, we all knelt; and with faces as grave as if we had been in church, struck up 'God save the king.' The Spaniards stared. One of us contrived to make them understand that we were chanting a hymn to the Virgin; and sure enough they too knelt down, and put their hands together. This was all our friend desired. He quietly raised the lid of the trunk, withdrew half-a-dozen loaves, popped them into a nose-bag, and never was noticed. We had a capital supper that night, and many a good laugh afterwards at the recollection of our successful psalm-singing.”

We conclude with a forcible description of a soldier's death, accelerated by his having dared to disobey orders :

"As soon as the fact was communicated to him, Jem shut himself up in his cell, and spent the whole of that day, and a large portion of the night, at his devotions. The only person, indeed, whom he would see, was the chaplain; and of food he scarcely partook at all. But when he came forth next morning, so far was he from being weakened by his fast that I never saw him march more firmly, or look round with a more undaunted countenance. Jem was an excellent singer; and ever since his trial, had taken especial delight in churchmusic. He now sang, as he proceeded to the place of execution, the 104th psalm; and so clear and full, and unbroken was his voice, that we heard it distinctly over all the instruments in the band. At last we reached the fatal spot, an empty space in the gorge of a bastion, the inner face in the parapet of which had been newly plastered and fronted with a sort of stucco. With his back to this wall, he was directed to kneel down; and he agreed to do so as soon as he should have shaken hands with the men of his company, and bid them farewell. I have witnessed many affecting scenes, as you may imagine, but I never saw anything like that. He was permitted to go through the ranks, and each man, as he gave him his hand, burst into tears. He

was turning away when he observed, resting with his face on the rampart, the officer, for mutinous conduct towards whom, his life was forfeited.

Mr.

said he, I hope you, too, will shake hands with me. I bear you no ill-will-I hope that you bear me none. I deserve my fate, and I pray God that my blood may not lie heavy on your conscience.'

The officer gave him his hand, but he shed no tear, though his face was deadly pale; and he immediately afterwards staggered from the parade in a fainting condition. Meanwhile Jem took his station. He besought the commanding officer to exempt him from the humiliation of having the nightcap drawn over his eyes, and assured him in the most pathetic terms that he would not flinch. But the colonel could not consent. He judged, and with great reason, that the sight of their comrade's features would probably render the firing. party unsteady, and he would not run the risk of that, merely to indulge a fancy in itself so little reasonable.

Well! comrades,' cried Jem,, as he knelt down and permitted his face to be covered, 'I will obey my commanding officer to the last. And mark me-Don't be afraid. Take good aim, fire steady, and let every ball hit me. See, I turn to you a good front.

He faced full towards them; and the few words which

he spoke were as clear and as firm as if he had been giving orders to a platoon to fire with blank cartridge; neither was his manner without its effect on the party: They became quite cool and collected; and on the

was that of her lover Raby, (ANDERSON). G. BENNETT was seen to much advantage in the character of Hartley, a rough old veteran who guards the postern gate to prevent the escape of his prisoners. His wife, too, Ruth Hartley, She acts (Miss TAYLOR) is worthy of notice. the part of a shrew, as if she had practised it at home, for the last ten years! We must also speak most favorably of BARTLEY'S Sir Lionel Carlton. As a kind-hearted and high-minded cavalier, he rendered his character one of great interest. We beg, however, to enter our protest against the sobbing scene, between him and his daughter, at the commencement of the second It was greatly overdone. The piece was very favorably received, and has since been repeated several times. The principal, performances of the week have been Macbeth, the Marriage of Figaro, Virginius, Hamlet, and Fra

act.

Diavolo.

Drury Lane.-BUNN's character as a 'humbug, as Mr. Pickwick would say, has long been fully established. We were therefore not

not a ball missed his mark."

"See that the Players be well used."—Hamlet. "Nothing extenuate, nor set down aught in malice,' Othello.

Covent Garden.-Mr. SERLE'S new drama, in 2 acts, entitled the Parole of Honor, was produced on Saturday. The incidents introduced, are supposed to have taken place at the period when England was convulsed by the struggles between the Parliamentarians and Charles I. The plot, if plot it can be called, is of the most slender description. It consists principally of a love-affair between a Roundhead captain, and the daughter of a devoted Royalist, but is composed also of a capture, an escape, two deadly foes opposed to each other, a rough old veteran guard, touched with a nice sense of honor and united to a shrew of a wife, -and a sly old corporal. All these characters exerted themselves to the utmost, yet we could not help considering the whole affair particularly dull; in consequence, perhaps, of its immense length. When condensed into half its original quantity, it may possibly be more attractive. The part of Jane Carlton was very ably sustained by Miss H. FAUCIT; so also

theatre was to be closed on Friday and Saturday evenings, last week. By doing this, he defrauded his actors of two nights' salaries; and at the same time, still further obliged himself, by making the occasion serve to gull the public as to the extraordinary merits of the new historical play, Caractacus.

This affair, adapted by PLANCHE from Beaumont and Fletcher's well-known tragedy of Bonduca, was produced on Monday; and a greater insult to the public could not have been offered. (We speak feelingly, having paid 5s. for admisssion.) It is not only tedious and prosy, but, for the most part, the veriest trash that ever was penned down to be spoken. The only thing which rendered it bearable, was the shouts of laughter with which it was received. With the exception of Mr. BUTLER, who played the hero, and who must have been shocked to find himself in such company, the actors were all at sea; and with great good sense, evinced that they were thoroughly ashamed of themselves. Even poor Miss CHARLES, who is a favorite here, was unceremoniously derided! The only thing which at all pacified the audience was the scene of "the Temple of the Sun and the Serpent," in the second act, beautifully painted by the Messrs. Grieve; but when this had vanished, the "row" recommenced, and all beyond was 'dumb show.' Between the fourth and fifth acts, there was an interval of nearly forty minutes; during which, the audience became exasperated to the last degree. The closing scene of the fifth act was grand, owing to the introduction of Mr. Davis' stud of real horses, who put all the bipeds to the blush. These beautiful animals danced with their usual grace, and drew forth loud and repeated plaudits from all parts of the house. On the fall of the curtain, the groans and hisses were tremendous, and the calls of "Manager! Manager!" quite appalling. Mr. BUNN, however, had wisely

taken the hint, some time previously, and retired, to muse on the unequivocal damnation of his "GRAND Historical Play!" Poor Drury! Into what an abject state of degradation hast thou fallen!

Since the above remarks were penned, the "GRAND Historical Play" has been cut down to 3 acts, the house nightly crammed with "orders," and the whole affair poked down the throats of the public,-who were obliged to applaud, seeing they were admitted gratis. Such conduct would disgrace the manager of a country barn, but is quite correct' at a National (!) theatre.

Haymarket. -WEBSTER is, at the present moment, one of the most fortunate of our London managers; for his house has been well attended all the week. KNOWLES' Love Chace, and the performances of T. P. COOKE, alone suffice to fill the treasury. By the way, the house is comfortably warmed every evening, by hot air stoves; which, we understand, have been erected at some considerable expense.

St. James's.-The comic burletta of the Cabinet has been again played during the week, followed by the Gentleman in Difficulties, and the Miller's Maid. Natural Magic, and King John have been wisely withdrawn. The house, we are sorry to say, continues to be very badly attended, and must prove, we fear, a sorry speculation to the worthy proprietor, who is deserving of better things.

Adelphi. The grand spectacle of Valsha (produced, as Mr. YATES informs us, at a cost of £1000), and Rory O'More, are still the reigning favorites here; and are likely to be so, till Christmas. A better evening's entertainment than that offered by this establishment, could not be desired. In our last, we animadverted on Miss Agnes TAYLOR's performance in the Death Token; and, by mistake, stated the character she played, to have been that of Laurette instead of Justine, an error of the pen which we hasten to repair in justice to Miss SHAW, by whom the part of Laurette was admirably sustained, and who is making rapid progress in public favor.

New City of London.-The new operatic Spectacle of Don Juan, has fully established its claims to patronage, and is now the leading feature at the East end of the town. Mrs. HONEY, as the amorous Don, looks truly bewitching; nor can we wonder at the effect she produces on the susceptible hearts of the various Donnas, Greek Girls, &c. &c. Miss HOLMES makes a very pleasing Haidee, and we can readily enter into her feelings of disappointment to find Don Juan not a veritable man! The best of the many Donnas is Antonia (Mrs. YOUNG); the others seem hardly to understand what they are about. Mr. MARSDEN, in the character of Constantine, sings a song, and in so grotesque a manner as to excite much laughter, though the song is by no means a comic one. The action of his arms and legs. while in the

act of singing, is truly ridiculous. Of the scenery, we must speak in terms of praise. It is very pretty. The last scene is particularly well managed, and the destruction of the Turkish citadel by the English flag very effective. In the burletta of Woman's the Devil, which succeeds the above, Mrs. HONEY sustained her favorite character of Lady Brilliant,—she also sang two songs, in which she was loudly and deservedly encored, and danced the Cachouca. It is a great pity that, in writing this piece, Mr. Stirling did not make the character of Tippet (the lady's-maid) more true to nature. Ladies of fashion never have scullery-maids about their persons, nor people with voices like Billingsgate fishwomen. Besides, how could the Hon. Mr. Arlington mistake such a lady's-maid, even at a masquerade, for her mistress, and listen to her vulgar conversation with rapture? This, with the omission of one or two indecencies, which disfigure the piece, would make it an amusing affair enough. In the interesting drama of a Father's Sacrifice, which followed the above, Miss RANKLEY again exhibited high powers of excellence.

Olympic. We dropped in here, a few evenings since, with the intention of seeing the Duel, one of the best burlettas ever produced. The curtain rose; and Mr. FARREN as Sir Pryer Oldencourt, was in the act of telling us some of the observations of his "late elegant friend, Lord Chesterfield," when Mr. VINING stept forward, and in the most unceremonious manner

possible, stopped the piece from proceeding, saying that Mr. Charles MATHEWS was taken suddenly ill. On this, some wag in the pit ejaculated" gammon," and the word went quickly round among the audience. For ourselves, we must confess that, having seen Mr. C. MATHEWS in perfect health, only two minutes previously, we think the word " gammon was not ill applied. Shortly after the fall of the curtain, Mr. VINING again appeared, and stated that in his emergency, he had despatched a messenger to the Regent's Park, to fetch Miss MURRAY, who was to play in the next piece, and that she had, in consequence, just arrived. As all this occupied only ten minutes, and the distance, to and fro, was only four miles, the audience laughed again, and resumed their accustomed good humor. The Quiet Day was then performed, and afforded considerable merriment; after which we withdrew. The new burletta, produced on Monday, entitled A Dream of the Future, was perfectly successful; Madame VESTRIS, and the fascinating Miss LEE, who is a brilliant ornament to the establishment, having admirable parts in it. C. MATHEWS, as a bashful medical student, and J. VINING as an impudent fop, were quite in their element, and played with considerable spirit.

Printed by J. Eames, 7, Tavistock St., Covent Garden.

Published for the Proprietor by GEORGE DENNEY, at the Office, 7, Tavistock St. Covent Garden: sold also by

Hetherington, 126, Strand; Strange, 21, and Steill, 20,

Paternoster Row; Purkiss, Compton Street; and James Pattie, 4, Brydges Street, Covent Garden.

VOL. I. No. 30.]

SKETCHES OF CHARACTER.-No. 5.

THE ALDERMAN.

[It was observed at the late 'gorge,' given in the Guildhall, in honor of HER MAJESTY'S visit to the City, that not one of the Aldermen present escaped a surfeit ! We avail ourselves, therefore, of an early opportunity to develop the true character of an ALDERMAN, whose stomach is, beyond dispute, far more elastic than Indiarubber.]

THE ALDERMAN's favorite maxim is the exact reverse of the ancient axiom, "A contented mind is a continual feast." With him, a continual feast is the only source of a contented mind. His experience furnishes a contradiction to another venerable dogma, that "one swallow makes not a summer;" for his summer is but one swallow. In his philosophy, good living constitutes a good life. He thinks that the way to "pursue" happiness is to tuck your feet under the table. He cannot understand why so many thousands annually starve; if they are hungry, why don't they dine?-if thirsty, why do they abstain from the bottle? King Solomon, he observes, ought to have married that French Princess, who inquired, when the people complained of the want of bread, why they didn't eat buns! A stout man embodies his idea of a great man. He believes in the possibility of perfect bliss to all-by the institution of a Universal College of Cookery. He looks upon a table as the only thing pre-ordained to groan. He mentions Ude as the Cook best qualified to eircumnavigate the globe. That great writer's book, he observes, should have been called "Paradise Regained;" though the fame of Milton has been fairly earned by the delicacy of his oysters. He is decidedly of opinion, that no change is necessary in the order of human affairs; while nothing goes wrong in the kitchen, every [No. 15, NEW SERIES.]

[PRICE ONE PENNY.

thing must, ultimately, be right above stairs. Meanwhile, what perplexes him most, in the human character, is the habit indulged in (indulged!) by a few perverse people, of not arriving until the soup has actually been once round. He insists that our criminal code is shamefully imperfect, in passing over the flagrant offence of keeping dinner waiting. He also dislikes the custom of appointing dinners at "five for six" -it is trifling with the sacredness of the time,-tampering with the finest feelings of our nature;-he has no objection, however, to six for five precisely." With regard to the laws of nature, he secretly thinks it a pity, that appetite should be diminished by merely dining. He wishes that apoplexy could be abolished by act of Parliament, and that man could eat himself down to the bare table-cloth. Yet, as it is, he contrives to be as happy as a "turtle "-a creature justly associated with human felicity. He does not know what excess means. He never had too much, at home or abroad; though when twelve are to dine, he orders covers for two dozen. He thinks that government ought to offer rewards for the invention of a new meal. Though famous for "mixing" a good deal in society, he is not one of those topers who lose time in walking from tavern to tavern. He sits still and fulfils his destiny-which is, to dine and die. He is decidedly of opinion that Aldermen ought to be elected for life; aldermanships are not apprenticeships, to last only for seven years. To bid him vacate at a given season, seems to him almost as barbarous as to summon him from table at the end of the first course. Life's long dinner over, he has his full-width portrait placed in the hall of his Company, as one who not only wore "the gown," (regularly widened for him four times a year), but filled it! His corpulency tells its own story; his bulk is its own biographer; he has occupied-the bench!

A. C.

following:-"As the winged lightnings leap from the SIMILES.-The Eglantine, New York paper, has the heavens when the Eternal has unbound their bolts, so does a little nigger run like the devil when a big dog is after him."