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my sins, of which I now felt the pardon and forgiveness; and never till then had I such a sight of myself, of my unworthiness, of the heinousness of sin, nor a real, heartfelt repentance. I perceived that all my former repentance was that of the hypocrite, and was still mixed with something peevish and rebellious; I pitied self, but found hard thoughts of God to possess my soul. Amazing love! Did the Lord Jesus leave the mansions of bliss and glory, where every pleasure is in all its fulness, to snatch a rebel, a blasphemer, a deist, an atheist, from the jaws of eternal death! O love, which has no equal! O Lord, I would be willing to shed tears of blood for my sin, if it was of any importance to thee; but nothing can add unto thy happiness, or in the least diminish thy glory. Upon this manifestation, my stopy heart was removed, a heart of flesh was given; and I was so filled with the love of God, as to be almost swallowed up in wonder, love, and praise. All my hard thoughts on tlie best of beings, together with my sin and unbelief, fled away, like the morning dew wi touched by the scorching rays of the sun. My soul was charmed with ideas of heaven, and brought into a state somewhat similar to that of St. Paul's, when he desired to be dissolved and be with Christ. I enjoyed a heaven upon earth ; my thoughts ascended up before the throne, and by the eye of faith I beheld the glorious reward of inheritance that awaits the redeemed of the Lord, which the natural eye cannot see, nor the
heart ever form any true conceptions of; and the thoughts of joining the glorious throng above, at the Lord's appointed time, made me almost dead to every thing in this world. Now, after I had this imaginary interview" (he means visionary view in faith) « with Christ, I had almost a continual spring of comforts for some years."
This was a wonderful deliverance wrought out for you of God. The Lord Jesus Christ was re. vealed to your mind, heart and conscience, as crucified for you. You saw him by the eye of faith, and that of your illuminated understanding, as working out and bringing in an everlasting righteousness for the worst of sinners, and yourself among them. You saw him finishing a perfect salvation, and paying a perfect redemption price, to obtain your release; and, as he was discovered in the vision of faith, and his dying love reached your heart, so faith (of interest in him) laid hold of, and brought him, and all that he is to and has for sinners into your heart: and, as faith exercised itself upon his precious blood, righteousness, and dying love to you, so the burden of sin was directly removed from your conscience. The law let you go, and could no longer curse nor condemn you. Justice was fully satisfied, and Christ appeared as the sheath of that sword. Pardon, peace, and the love of God, like a river, entered your soul, and carried legal bondage, slavish fear, hardness of heart, enmity against God, the fear of death, wrath of God, curse of a
broken law, with the devil and his reproaches, all away together.
- I wist not what was become of all mine accusers, and never more sought after them; for in their stead I found joy and praise spring up in my soul to Christ, thanksgiving, and the voice of melody. The unmerited love of God in Christ Jesus, to such a hell-deserving sinner as me, melted me down, and drew forth thať godly sorrow and evangelical repentance that need never to be repented of. My heart and affections entered heaven. I rejoiced with joy unspeakable and full of glory: forgot iny former poverty, and remembered my misery no more; and could say, with Zion of old, that " when the Lord thus turned my captivity I was like them that dream; my mouth was filled with laughter, and my tongue with siuging; and they even said among the heathen, The Lord hath done great things for him,” Psalm cxxvi. 1, 2. I appeared as a wonder to many, but to none so great a wonder as myself. I conversed with my dear Saviour; heaped ten thousand blessings upon his precious majesty; made my boast of him all the day long, as the fairest among ten thousand; yea, the altogether lovely he appeared. I looked at him whom I had pierced, and mourned over him, and felt a sympathy for him in his sufferings. I saw every thing with new eyes. The mysteries of the kingdom shone forth with fresh glory, and the blessed Spirit filled me with unutterable consolations, so that I could
hardly bear up under them. I worshipped God in spirit and in truth, and praised him with joyful lips, and in Christ I enjoyed fulness of satisfaction; there was no want which he did not supply, no vacancy which he did not fill. I was sure I was complete in him, and that God the Father was well pleased with me in him ; for, instead of his appearing as an angry judge and a consuming fire in a broken law, he slione forth in his dear Son as the best of fathers, and as nothing but love in the altogether-lovely Jesus; and in prayer and praise I could approach him with the fullest assurance of confidence that I was an object of his everlasting love, for I felt it in my heart casting out all fear and torment. Old things were passed away, and all things were become new. I was fit for no business, nor company for any one but the Lord, the spirits of just men made perfect, or the elect angels. I walked in heavenly. mindedness, which was attended with both life and peace. And, as in my trouble and misery I could not sleep for distress, so now I could not sleep for blessing and praising God for the won. ders of his redeeming love, and for the displays of his matchless grace. I loathed myself in my own sight for my iniquity; and the devil himself did not appear blacker, nor more base and unworthy, than W-m S-n did, though in my Covenant Head and precious Saviour I was sure that I was all fair, without spot, acceptable and well pleazing to God in the perfect righteousness
of his dear Son. This I know you will say was really the case; and, if so, it was a real, true, genuine deliverance. Then you passed from death unto life; obtained justification before God; was delivered from the law, and so no more a servant under that legal yoke, but manifestively a son of God by faith in Christ Jesus. You now found repentance unto life, which differs from that legal repentance you experienced while under the law. This flowed out freely as the pardoning love of God in Christ Jesus entered your heart, and was attended with the most cordial love and affection to him that pardoned you, and a hatred to yourself on account of your sin: but that under the law was forced out under the wrath of God and the lashes of a guilty conscience; and under it you pitied self, loved sin in your heart, and hated God, wishing that there was no God to punish sin. Where God pardons a sinner, the effect of it will always be this; as peace enters the soul upon the forgiveness of sin, so it will always be attended with love to God that pardons; as the Saviour says when he was with Simon speaking of Mary.—“ This woman's sins were many; they are forgiven her, and she loveth much; and where little is forgiven the same loveth little;" Luke vii. 47. So that love to God shall always be shed abroad, in some measure, where pardon of sin takes place, by the exercising of faith upon the precious blood and righteousness of our dear Redeemer; and thus it may be known when we are pardoned by the