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Now, Doctor, you're an honest sticker, So take your glass, and choose your liquor; Wilt have it steep'd in Alpine snows, Or damask'd at Silenus' nose? With Wakefield's vicar sip your tea, Or to Thalia drink with me? And, Doctor, I would have you know it, An honest, I, though humble poet; I scorn the sneaker like a toad, Who drives his cart the Dover road, There, traitor to his country's trade, Smuggles vile scraps of French brocade: Hence with all such! for you and I By English wares will live and die. Come, draw your chair, and stir the fire; Here, boy!-a pot of Thrale's entire !
Secluded from domestic strife,
Such pleasures, unalloy'd with care,
Need we expose to vulgar sight The raptures of the bridal night? Need we intrude on hallow'd ground, Or draw the curtains closed around? Let it snffice, that each had charms : He clasp'd a goddess in his arms; And, though she felt his usage rough, Yet in a man 'twas well enough.
The honey-moon like lightning flew; The second brought its transports too: A third, a fourth were not amiss ; The fifth was friendship mix'd with bliss : But when a twelvemonth pass'd away, Jack found his goddess made of clay; Found half the charms that deck'd her face Arose from powder, shreds, or lace; But still the worst remain'd behind, That very face bad robb’d her mind.
Skill'd in no other arts was she, But dressing, patching, repartee; And, just as humour rose or fell, By turns a slattern or a belle; 'Tis true she dress'd with modern grace, Half naked at a ball or race ; But when at home, at board or bed, Five greasy nightcaps wrapp'd her head. Could so much beauty condescend To be a dull domestic friend? Could any curtain lectures bring To decency so fine a thing?
In short, by night, 'twas fits or fretting :
Thus as her faults each day were known,
Now to perplex the ravel'd noose,
The glass, grown hateful to her sight, Reflected now a perfect fright: Each former art she vainly tries To bring back lustre to her eyes. In vain she tries her paste and creams To smooth her skin, or hide its seams; Her country beaux and city cousins, Lovers no more, flew off by dozens ; The squire himself was seen to yield, And e'en the captain quit the field.
Poor madam, now condemn'd to back The rest of life with anxious Jack, Perceiving others fairly flown, Attempted pleasing him alone. Jack soon was dazzled to behold Her present face surpass the old; With modesty her cheeks were dyed, Humility displaces pride; For tawdry finery is seen A person ever neatly clean : No more presuming on her sway, She learns good nature every day. Serenely gay, and strict in duty, Jack finds his wife a perfect beauty.