Sidor som bilder
PDF
ePub

regard to religion, although I was too well taught not to have, at times, very serious thoughts, and some uneasiness on the subject, still I stopped short where so many do, at wishes and intentions. I was, however, extremely dissatisfied with this state of things; and there was nothing good, or even great, that I did not fully intend to become by the time my education should be completed. And the elasticity of my spirits on that cheerful morning, the vigour of body and mind I then possessed, together with the sanguineness of youth, made me readily believe that all I wished would certainly be accomplished.

I spent the day merrily with my companions; not troubling myself about my plans of reformation on that day, because it was my birth-day.

The next morning, however, I did rise an hour earlier than usual; for early rising was one of the good habits I intended to acquire; it being one on which, as my dear father used to say, all the rest very greatly depended. Being not a little pleased with myself on this account, I came in to breakfast, after an hour's pleasant application, in great good humour; overcame two or three little provocations without expressing resentment; and applied to all my pursuits very assiduously the whole day. Now I imagined every difficulty conquered. The next day I rose but one quarter of an hour later ;—only answered rather impatiently when my elder brother contradicted me; and omitted nothing of my business, except getting one of my French verbs. But on the day following, it being a raw dismal

morning, the bell, as usual, rang for prayers before I had finished dressing. This disconcerted me. It is not easy to maintain a good humour and a bad conscience at the same time. To the first person who spoke to me, I gave a cross answer;—had one dispute with my brother, and two with my sister before dinner ;-sat down to my lessons in an idle mood ;did them all indifferently; and at night hurried over my prayer just as carelessly as usual.

Thus passed that unpromising day. But what will you say, Sir, when I inform you, that, with a few exceptions, such as I have described above, when under the influence of some present stimulus, or new formed resolution, it is a pretty fair specimen of all the rest, from that period to the present moment! I do not deny, indeed, but that I have made some progress in the various branches of education; nor that some of my more childish failings have been superseded by maturer and less obvious faults; but I must say, that upon comparing what I now am with what I intended to be seven years ago, or even with what I might reasonably have hoped to be, my disappointment is complete. Nor am I able to alleviate it by laying the blame upon my education. I have enjoyed fair opportunities-have had every thing to stimulate and to encourage me: but I wanted that strength of mind, that steady resolution, that constant unfailing effort to resist small temptations, and to conquer slight difficulties, which make the grand difference between the strong and the weak-the virtuous and the unworthy; between the Christian and the cumberer of the ground.

Besides, instead of profiting by past experience, I was perpetually placing an unwarrantable dependence on the future. As one year after another passed away, I still hoped better things from the next, and the next; and, ever yielding to the dangerous illusion, neglected to make the effort needful at the present moment. Oh, to look back upon those golden opportunities!

But, Sir, I intend not to trouble you with my complaints any farther than as they may prove useful to others. Many of your readers have probably as long, or a still longer period of their minority before them. How unspeakable an advantage! How vast a difference at this period of life, between seven years ago, and seven years to come! However the past may have been misimproved, the future the fair, bright promising future-is still unconsumed, unwasted: that period of life of all others the most important, because upon it the formation of the character almost entirely depends, is yet, as it were, in their own power. Let them not suppose that it depends upon the particular bent of their genius, or cast of their disposition, whether or not they are to rise above the common level of intellectual and moral excellence; or upon the exertions of their parents and teachers: it depends, as a means, upon their own exertions. All things are possible, I believe all things, at least, that are good and desirable for us-to persevering effort; and without this, as I so well know, seven years, or seven times seven, will do nothing for us;-nothing, but strengthen bad habits, weaken

good resolutions, and remove opportunities of improvement. Those temptations to delay and negligence which we feel to-day, will as assuredly return to-morrow, as the morning light; return too, with increased force, though increased in too imperceptible a degree to give the alarm.

Perhaps some of your readers may imagine, that however it may be with regard to other things, I have yet time enough before me for religion; and have little occasion to reproach myself for not being quite decided in that respect, at the age of twentyone. Alas! Sir, I need not tell you that this is the most grievous part of my complaint, and the true source of all the rest. Had I but listened to the admonitions of Scripture, reason, and conscience, seven years ago, all that I wished would have followed of course. Religion, you know, is a sure remedy for carelessness, frivolity, slothful habits and evil tempers. I believe, indeed, that it makes hard things easy, and irksome things pleasant.

Besides this, I believe it is not possible for any one who has been favoured with a religious education, to resist for seven years the convictions of conscience, to suffer all the impressions made by sermons, the admonitions of friends, and good books, to wear off, without such an effect being produced in stilling the conscience and hardening the heart, as to render the whole business of religion, so far as it depends on our own efforts, unspeakably more difficult than it would have been SEVEN YEARS AGO. I am, Sir, your obedient servant,

**** ****

II.

GOVERNMENT OF THE THOUGHTS.

THERE is a prevailing desire in the minds of many young people to be freed from the restraints of authority;-an impatience for that period to arrive when they shall be at liberty to direct their own actions. It is not, perhaps, very uncommon for them to imagine that they should be more willing even to do right-that it would be easier, and far more agreeable—if it were no longer a matter of constraint, but of choice.

Το any who may have entertained such ideas, I would propose a method by which they may already ascertain their powers of self-government; and direct them to a sphere of action, which, whatever their present circumstances may be, is subject to no external control; where parents, tutors, friends, have no dominion; where they are already emancipated from every outward restraint. Here then they may try their strength and prove their skill; and if they fail here, it is but reasonable to conclude that they would be, at least, equally unsuccessful, if entrusted with the direction of their own conduct.

But in what way, it may be asked, are persons whose time, pursuits, actions, whose very recreations are in a measure regulated by others, at liberty to command themselves? There are, indeed, several ways in which this question might be profitably

« FöregåendeFortsätt »