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Literary Intelligence.

PEPPERMINT CANTO announces to the public his intention of composing THE SEGARIAD, an epic poem, in twelve books, enriched with notes, critical, historical, political, and philosophical.

and public feasts, and all unite in amusements imagine that they will continue for ever. But interesting to all; where every heart is light, immediately upon entering into the world this and every tongue utters the effusions of the equality disappears; and the friendship, if it heart; where all unite, in one body, to praise should still seem to subsist, degenerates into the God of their fathers with songs and with overbearing despotism on the one side, and dances, with the music of reeds and the beat- contemptible cringing sycophancy on the ing of drums; where the joy becomes conta- other. (To be continued.) gious, and the gladness of the soul is reflected from face to face, until the sick forgets his pain; the afflicted, his sorrow; and the aged, the approaches of death; where all join in one dance, and all sit down to one feast; where no invidious preferences are shown, no insulting privileges usurped-if friendship, we repeat it, be insecure under these circumstances, how As the author is an enemy to every species precarious must its situation be, where nothing of useless innovation in literary matters, he gives importance but wealth, and wealth has has determined that the SEGARIAD shall have a no connection with individual merit; where beginning, a middle, and an end: all which the higher and the lower ranks never unite in three things are said by the critics, to be inthe same amusement; where men never can dispensably requisite. Had not the opinion of forget for a moment the inequality of their Aristotle been so very explicit on this point, situations in life; where sordid ignorant bloat- the author had it in contemplation to have ed wealth must be fed with continual adulation, written an epic poem without beginning, midand indigent merit must shrink into insignifi- dle, or end; but it is always safer, in affairs of cance, or become the object of ridicule and such consequence, to follow the footsteps of the contempt; where every association of indi- ancients. viduals is a school of intrigue and a conspiracy He is resolved to launch at once into the against the species at large; where every in- middle of the action, as was done by Virgil in dividual watches his neighbor with an eye of the Eneid. He will introduce his readers to a suspicion and distrust; where truth is never young man, lolling at his ease, with his heels heard, unless for some malignant purpose; higher than his head, and the smoke ascending and where men endeavor to wear the sem- in fleecy curls to the ceiling. Hence he will blance of virtue, but lay it down, as a practical take occasion to describe some of those de rule, not to be incumbered with the sub- lightful reveries into which the mind, of a man so situated and so employed, is frequently

stance?

If friendship be insecure among savages, plunged. Thence he will conduct the reader, where the spirit of hoarding and the desire of on a cloud of smoke, to the Limbo of Vanity, accumulation are unknown, how must it be where he will give an accurate description of where every one has his locked coffer which those visionary castles which have been erected incloses the object of his private adoration? in that fantastic region by the dreaming If benevolent affections meet with frequent smokers, and smoking dreamers of all ages. interruptions where the institutions of society He has this introductory part of the poem are such that merit exerts its proper influence, already composed, and assures the public that and worth finds its due level in the community, he is extremely pleased with the sweetness what must be their fate, where there is no and harmony of the versification and the cloudy merit but wealth, no virtue but cunning? obscurity of the meaning, which so happily

We are convinced that friendship seldom illustrate those apathetical reveries, when men exists in the civilized world, unless it be among think very deeply or think not at all. Pope boys at school. These sometimes draw cer- may talk of the sound being an echo to the tain old notions of virtue and justice from sense; but this is an echo of which he had no books, with which they appear to be captivated idea. for a time; but as soon as they engage in the The author has invented a totally new speaffairs of the world, they find it necessary to cies of machinery, with which, he hopes, the get initiated into that smooth system of speci- reader will be highly delighted. He acknow. ous vice, which goes by the name of prudence ledges this to be a daring experiment; but and knowledge of the world. They soon dis- he has the satisfaction to think that, if he cover that there is but one thing needful. If should fail, it will be said of him, as it was of they can acquire that, they will have every the son of Apollo, thing at command; but if that be unattained, they will have nothing. Where are now the gay dreams of youthful friendship? They He has, ready made, a number of finely have vanished as the morning dew before rising polished episodes, which he intends to attach to the work as he proceeds. Some of them, At school there is some appearance of equal- indeed, appear at first view to have little or ity. Boys there form connections that are no relation to the action of the poem; but known by the name of friendship, and fondly he feels confident that he will be able to

sun.

-magnis tamen excidit ausis.

weave them so ingeniously into the main web good which those talents properly directed of his work, that they will appear to be quite would be capable of producing. The savage, natural. He has already thought of a method Piomingo, is a present and strong instance of of introducing the wars of the giants in one a brilliant imagination and improved underepisode, and the loves of the chivalric Smith standing thus strangely perverted. What lan and the princess Pocahontas in another. guage does he use! How perspicuous! Strength

He intends to begin with the EEGAR, and and harmony are blended in his sentences. keep it as much as possible in sight through He strews the paths he treads with flowers of the whole course of the work; and has no in- every varied hue: he deludes the judgment tention of using it as disrespectfully as Cowper with his fascinations. But sir, his views of did his sofa. that happy constitution of things, which has He assures the literary world that he has, on arisen from divine revelation and the wisdom hand, a number of virgin similes, with which and experience of ages, will not bear examinahe intends to embellish the SEGARIAD. They tion. It is true, man is a frail being. His are all of his own manufacture; and he pledges faults are numerous: nor is there one, who can his word that they have never been touched by so far govern his appetites and passions as to Homer or any other poet. be free from error. Prejudices will prevail

He desires it to be understood that, although over his reason. They grow with his growth the SEGARIAD will be an epic poem, complete and strengthen with his years, to whatever soin all its parts, yet, it will hold but a secondary sciety, whether savage or civilized, he may be. place in the work which he intends to offer to long. Must he therefore shut himself out the public. The judicious reader will take from all society? His systems of education notice that the poem is to serve as a medium may be wrong but they are improvable. of conveyance for certain highly interesting Another direction might be given to his observations which he will append to almost thoughts: his views might be more extended : every line of his meditated production. He his imagination raised to heaven. But were informs the public that he has a vast quantity he to divest himself of the opportunities he has of literary lore, of the first quality, which he will present to the public in the form of notes on the SEGARIAD.

If the reader find but two or three lines of the text on a page, he will have no reason to be dissatisfied. Let him peruse the notes: there he will find instruction blended with entertainment. He will be amazed at the critical

acumen, political sagacity, historical research, and philosophical profundity, which will be there displayed.

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of acquiring knowledge; were he to burn his cities and flee to the woods; expose himself to the inclemencies of the seasons, and to a de. pendence upon the precarious supply which the chase or the snare might procure him→→ would his errors be rectified?

The pictures which Piomingo draws of savage life are executed with a master's hand. They are well calculated to lead the unwary into a belief, that what they represent is true. But like the paintings of many other dis. gustful objects, the stench and the filth are left

out.

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The following observations are copied from the American Daily Advertiser. MR. POULSON,-A small publication entitled "I pity the man," says Sterne, who can The Savage," fell into my hands a few days travel from Dan to Beersheba, and cry, all is since. I have read it with careful attention, barren. And so it is; and so is all the world but I cannot give it the sanction of my appro- to him,who will not cultivate the fruit it offers." bation. Whatever has a tendency to render To this observation of Sterne some poetic ge. man discontented with his condition, and to nius has affixed a few lines which display & excite repinings at the dispensations of Provi- philosophy in consonance with the sentiment. dence, must be injurious. The virtuous man Allow me, sir, to offer them to Piomingo as a would, no doubt, wish to see each individual most invaluable present. Perhaps they may equally virtuous with himself but however ardently he may desire it, it is certainly questionable whether he would obtain his wishes by becoming a savage.

Men of cultivated minds have existed in all times, to whom civilized society has not af forded any gratification. This arises perhaps from too great a sensibility, which is not able to bear

The stings and arrows of outrageous fortune." Hence we find the pictures they draw of such society deeply tinged with the melancholy which unhappily preys upon their spirits.

It is a circumstance much to be regretted; because society loses in every instance the D

serve to soothe his wounded spirit: completely to tranquilize it, can only be effected by a reli ance on that gospel, which he affects to treat with contumely.

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"Away with complaints of distress,
Induc'd by false notions of life;
And reflect-('twill make trouble seem less,)
The endearment of quiet is strife.

As the storms of the ocean, which fill with alarm,
Give a zest to the pleasure enjoy'd in a calm.

"What is it gives nature its grace?
Why is hope the sweet source of delight?"
Whence the charm of a beautiful face,

Or of Phebus dispelling the night?
By contrast alone are their beauties display'd,
Their coloring heighten'd or soften'd by shade.

“So the slave, when disburthen'ed of toil; subjected to dangers, difficulties and misfor

The culprit who meets a reprieve; The lover, first blest with a smile,

And the sceptic, when taught to believe; Feel the change in their prospects hath power to

bless

In proportion exact to the depth of distress.

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"If griefs then your journey pursue;

If flocks, herbs, and fields be laid waste;
Recollect, bitter aloes and rue

Make honey more sweet to the taste:
And around you when darkness and tempests

appear

Think of winter, which ushers the spring of the year."

A.

tunes, of which their savage fathers had no conception. Where are the beneficial effects of this knowledge? Have men learned to conquer disease, or retard the approaches of death! Does their refinement give firmness and health to old age, or lengthen out the period of youth? Are the mass of mankind more benevolent, more just, more enlightened, than they were formerly? A few prejudices,which happened to have no connection with selfinterest, have been discarded; but others, much more pernicious, have been guarded by our teachers as the "apple of their eye." The crimes of the moderns are less glaring The ingenious author of the foregoing re- than those of the ancients, but all their actions marks seems to have mistaken the views of the are systematically vicious. They are not the Savage. We entertain no presumptuous hopes victims of a moral plague or pestilence; but a of effecting a revolution in the minds of men. sordid leprosy has infected the blood; and they We are not Quixotic enough to imagine that are become unclean "from the crown of the we can undo the work of ages, and bring back head to the sole of the foot." The canker of man to a state of barbarism. This, however desirable such a change might be, is impossible, unless by the means of some tremendous convulsion of nature: which Heaven avert! The utmost of our ambition is to afford enter. tainment by the novelty of our remarks; and we are afraid that even that is not within the limits of our power. There are but two species of writing that the men of the present day are disposed to read: something that they can turn to immediate profit, and slanderous aspersions against their neighbors. Now as we are disposed to gratify neither of these propensities, we have very faint hopes indeed that our Savage will become popular.

But, if it be asked, what will be the effect of our remarks in a moral point of view; we answer, that the tendency cannot be immoral. We are the friend of virtue, and advocate her cause. We are the enemy of every species of vice; and we endeavor to draw aside her veil and show her to men in all her native deformity.

We have no desire "to excite repinings at the dispensations of Providence;" nor do we conceive that our remarks, can have that tendency. Could we render men discontented with their vices and follies, the consequences could not be deplorable; but we are not led away by any such extravagant expectations. This sordid calculating money-making generation would not be disturbed in their operations even "should one rise from the dead;" and we have no hopes that they will attend to "the voice of one crying in the wilderness."

Of that happy constitution of things which might have arisen from divine revelation, had not the seed fallen among thorns which have sprung up and choked it, we can form some idea; but of the boasted wisdom and experience of ages, we entertain a different opinion. By this wisdom and this experience men are

avarice has poisoned the constitution of socie ty; and its moral health, as far as we can per ceive, is irretrievably lost. This one evil smothers every young and generous inclination, and has erected a tomb for all the virtues. This one passion is the source of all the evils which afflict humanity: it has withstood the efforts of the friends of man in every age, and rendered of none effect the revelation of God.

It is painful for us to answer the last allega. tion that is brought against us: "that of affect ing to treat the gospel with coutumely." We never have treated christianity with contempt. We never have attempted to ridicule its rites or its ceremonies, or deny the divine authority our admiration of its maxims of morality; and of its precepts. We have always expressed founder; but we are not disposed to eulogize we revere, with pious enthusiasm, its divine all those who call themselves by his name. We blame not their christianity, if they have any, but their departure from the line of conduct marked out by the precepts of the gospel. Hereafter, when we say any thing against those who are called christians, let it not be supposed that we oppose the doctrines which they affect to believe: we only complain of the want of conformity between their professions in order to be faithful and unprejudiced should and practice. It has been said that a historian, be of no country and no religion; why may it not be supposed necessary for our Savage to have the same negative qualifications?

With Piomingo, personally, the public have no concern: he is a savage by nature, and so, we suppose, he must remain. His observations are before the world: if they will not "bear examination," let them fall. Piomingo is not solicitous about their fate. He once cherished a hope of literary fame, but that hope, with many others, is extinguished. He feels grateful to "A" for the philosophy contained in the verses; but has no great regard for any obser. vations of Sterne.

Prudence Hall, Oct. 5, 1809.

PIOMINGO, are you a bona fide savage? By my conscience, I would be glad to see you. Where the devil have you built your wigwam? I have been looking for it, these three or four days, all along the banks of Schuylkill, and over in Hamilton's woods; but my labor has been in vain. I went into half a hundred dismal dirty-looking hovels on the Commons, where, by my soul, I saw savages enough, but no Indians. Where have you disposed of yourself? I am extremely anxious to see you; but not altogether through idle curiosity. If you will favor me with an interview, I have something to propose that will prove greatly advantageous to us both.

I will just give you a hint of my business by letter, that you may be the more readily in duced to permit me to explain matters fully in my proper person.

You are a savage, a copper-colored savage Good. You are tall and slender, with black eyes and long coarse black hair-Good. You have high cheek bones-Very good. You, without doubt, wear jewels in your nose, and have split and distended the lobes of your ears -Excellent, most excellent! I would rather possess the advantages just enumerated than be emperor of the Gauls. Only make the proper use of the directions I shall give you, and you will have the wealth of this populous city at command. But it is to be remembered that if you adopt my plan, one half of the profits you comprehend-one half of the profits must be appropriated to the use of the original genius who invented the scheme.

But, before I unfold my plan, permit me to express my astonishment at your conduct. You appear to have some odd kind of intelligence; and you inform us that you are fifty years of age; what then, in the name of common sense, do you mean by preaching musty sermons on morals, and prating about virtue and honor, and the like? If you be a fool at fifty years of age, you will be a fool as long as you live, and longer too. But I suppose you are a deep one. You mean to amuse us awhile with your fair speeches, and then make a bold stroke at our pockets. If such be your intention, here is my hand-you will find me a useful associate in any scheme of honorable roguery you may have in contemplation. For, (do you mark?) I have too much principle to engage in any dishonest practices that might endanger my neck; but I am the very lad that can impose upon the world in a genteel way, you understand me? The world is overspread with fools; who appear to me like a vast field of grain ready for the sickle. Men of genius have nothing to do but to enter in and reap. The task is not difficult; we have only to study their weaknesses, follies, passions, and prejudices,and improve them to our own advantage. Every man may be gulled some way or other. If he will not bite at a minnow, he may at a worm. Labor omnia vincit improbus: that is

my motto; and, let me tell you, I am seldom unsuccessful in my undertakings. But the scheme I am about to propose is liable to no risk. It is an ingenious advantage taken of a universal weakness; and cannot miscarry.

Let us come to the point. You shall set up for a physician, and inform the public, in a pompous advertisement in all the daily papers, that you studied physic many years under the celebrated Kaioka; that you are perfectly well acquainted with the secrets of nature; that you have a profound knowledge of all the simples in the vegetable kingdom; that you spent many years in collecting, with your own hands, an immense multitude of plants in the Appalachian mountains; that you have dried them with sedulous carc, or extracted their virtues and preserved their essences as inestimable remedies for all the diseases to which the human frame is subject; that you are in. structed in all the occult sciences and supernatural learning of the ever memorable Kaioka; that you are a perfect master of every species of powwowing; that you can ease the aking of a tooth, and charm away the "grief of wound;" that you are profoundly skilled in venereal complaints, and can afford immediate relief without the assistance of mercury; that you have paid particular attention to the nature of female complaints, and have suitable remedies for all their indispositions—adding, that your secrecy and honor may be depended on; that you have devoted much of your time to the consideration of those diseases that result from dissipated pleasures, immoderate use of spiritous liquors, residence in climates unfavorable to the constitution, and juvenile indiscre tions,and you feel yourself happy in announcing to the afflicted that you are able to renovate their constitutions and restore their pristine health and vigor; that you are possessed of certain arcana that are absolutely unknown to civilized nations, which will enable you to per form cures that will astonish the world; that you have supernatural cordials, balms, and restoratives, without number; that you have hypersupercarbonated waterproof liquid black. ing for boots and shoes, deathdealing poison for rats and mice, imperial unguents for the itch, and worm-murdering lozenges for child. ren; that you have specifics for every disease, and salves for every sore; that you have tinctures and lovepowders,eyewaters and corn-plasters; that you have cosmetics of super-eminent efficacy, celestial perfumes and milk of the roses of Paradise; that you have a beautifying lotion, invented by the princess Onasycocoquanahamahala,which will remove pimples and freckles, and scars,and make the skin white and smooth and soft as the downy feathers on an angel's wing; that you have a tincture of amaranthine flowers that bloomed in the gardens of the lovely Osyona, which being used daily will preserve beauty to the latest period of life, and even give to wrinkled age the appearance of youth.

Should the sufferer recover, that recovery will be attributed to the efficacy of your vege. table specific; should he die, you may lay the blame on the carelessness of the attendants in not administering properly your inestimabla medicine, or on the obstinacy of the patient in refusing to regulate his conduct by your directions; and, after his death, you must re. member frequently to make some such observation as the following: "Had Mr. Weakly taken my preparation as directed, he would have been a living man at this day.”

When you have enumerated these things of the necessity of attending a consultation, and a hundred others, you may conclude your and hurry away, leaving " Kaioka's pills" or a advertisement with observing that, from many "tincture of life everlasting." years extensive and successful practice in the capital of the Muscogulgees, you flatter your self that you can more than give satisfaction to those who may apply for your assistance. After this advertisement has been some time in circulation, you must publish a list of your soul-relieving, body-restoring and world-astonishing medicines. You must invent new and unheard-of titles for your nostrums, and express yourself on all occasions in the most bombastic and unintelligible manner. You must declaim rotundo or“, and tear every subject to tatters that fails in your power. You must outpuff the puffers of this puffing people, and strike dumb the altiloquence of the immortal vendor of the barbal alkahest, and diamond paste by the terrisonous explosion of your altisonant and ceraunic magniloquy!

You have only to show your olive phiz, utter some Muscogulgee gibberish and heathen Greek jawbreakers, and, by the god of knaves, the whole practice of the city is your own. Who could withstand such soft majestic words, pouring from your sweet old ugly coppercolored mouth, with a damned crowbar run through your nose, a new moon on your breast, and great silver pendants dangling from your ears? Money, my dear Piomingo, money will pour in upon you, as the waters pour upon the earth, when the windows of heaven are opened. When life is in danger, men draw forth their reluctant dollars.

This is the flood of fortune. Can you hesitate? You cannot, certainly, doubt of your abilities to impose upon the world. In fact, there is nothing necessary but a sufficiency of impudence.

Your savage appearance, your outlandish speech, and your consummate impudence, will insure the success of our scheme. Men are always credulous: but when the body is de bilitated and the mind enfeebled by long con. tinued sickness, there is nothing they may not be induced to believe. A bold impostor may rule them with absolute authority, and, by raising and depressing their spirits as circum. stances may require, draw the last cent from their pockets. He must make them feel di seases that never existed, and then administer cures for the complaints of his own creation. He must "speak peace" to the dying, when "there is no peace" and terrify these who are like to live with imaginary dangers.

Here is a wide field for the exertions of a man of genius, who studies his own interest and pursues steadily the means that are ne cessary for the accomplishment of his purposes. But he must not be disturbed by any foolish qualms of conscience, or childish sympathizing sensations. No: his heart must be stone; his hand, iron: and his face, brass.

How unlucky it was that I should not have heen born black, or red, or even yellow. Had I the color of an African, a Hindoo, an Ara bian, or a Cherokee, I could carry my plans into operation without the assistance of another; but as it is, I am under the necessity of procuring some one to execute that which I am fully capable of projecting. This head, Piomingo, this head of mine, is invaluable. O what great schemes have perished in em bryo, for want of hands to embody those sublime ideas which have originated in my brain!

When you are called to visit a patient, you have only to feel his pulse, bid him thrust out his tongue, and then, laying your forefinger by the side of your nose, pretend to meditate for some time. There is no necessity that you should pay the smallest attention to the sufferer during the few minutes that you stay in the room. You may strut about, look at the cur. tains, pictures, &c. and examine your own lovely person in a mirror: a physician, having been long conversant with sickness, sorrow, groans, and death, it is not expected that he should discover any symptoms of humanity. I once endeavored to educate and instruct a When any questions are asked by the relatives great flatfooted knock kneed humpbacked blub of the patient, you must remember to give berlipped splaymouthed woolly headed negro ambiguous oracular responses: thus your credit in the art and mystery of quackery. His will be preserved let the case terminate as it person was exactly the thing I wished; and he may. Should any one demand to be informed was uncommonly shrewd, and as impudent as of the nature of the disease, you must look the devil. I meant to have introduced him to learned, mutter something about the cerebrum the world as a physician from Angola. He and cerebellum, cardia and pericardium, ob- appeared well contented to be called doctor structed perspiration and the peristaltic motion: Quassia, and to have money in his pocket; the inquirer will be, not only satisfied, but but when I began to explain the secrets of the highly pleased that you considered him capa profession, he rejected my offers with disdain. ble of understanding your discourse. You He gravely asserted that he could not reconcile must talk much of the number of your patients, it to his conscience (his conscience! only think

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