free juftification through Chrift, and peace by his blood: But I was afterward to learn other things belonging to the mystery of redemption: This was what I at present needed, and this the Lord gave a bundantly, in fo far as the prefent cafe required it." But yet after this glorious light had stay'd fome confiderable time with me, I was fadly ignorant of many of the most important things relating even unto the mystery of forgiveness, the daily ufe of this attonement, and the ufe efpecially of the Lord Chrift, with refpect to fanctification: Well might Chrift fay to me many a day after this, as to Philip, John xiv. (), Have I been fo long time with you, and yet haft thou not known me, Philip? What therefor the Lord had done at this time, I knew not now, but hereafter, John xiii. 7, 16, 13. when the comforter had further inftructed me in the nature of the gofpel-difcovery, as I was able to bear it, and as my daily exigencies required it; and when with Peter, being come to myself, recovered out of the strange furprize, and put to confider the thing; then knew I with him, Acts xii. 11, 12. more diftinctly what concerned the Lord's work, and what he had done for me. Acts xviii. 26. 3. This discovery, while it laîted, was full of ravishing sweetness, and many things contributed very much to make it fo. 1. The cafe wherein it found me: I was condemned by God,by my own confcience, and was like to fink under the preffure of the fear of a prefent execution of the fentence: When the ufual labours of the day required that I fhould fleep, and my body toil'd and wafted with the difquiet of my mind, made me heavy, and urg'd it more: Yet I was afraid to close mine eyes, left I should awaken in hell, and durft not let myfelf fleep, till I was by a weary body beguiled into it, leaft I fhould drop into the pit before I was aware. Ecclef, v. 12. Was it any wonder, that the news of pardon and forgiveness were fweet to one in fuch a cafe? Whereby I was made to ly down < down in fafety, and take quiet rest, while there was none to make me afraid: Micah iv. 4. For fo giveth he his beloved fleep: Pfalm cxxvii. 2. A little before I was like Jonah in the whale's belly: Jonah ii. 5, 6, 7. The waters compaffed me about even to the foul; the deep closed me round about, the weeds were wrapt about my head, I went down to the bottoms ' of the mountains, the earth with her bars was about me for ever verfe 4. And I said, I am caft out of "God's fight. Now, was it any wonder that fuch an one was delighted when brought into a garden of delights? placed out of all view of trouble, fave a reflection on it as paffed, which is refreshing, and fet down to fun himself, and dry himfelf under the refreshing rays of the fun of righteoufnefs. 2. The things that the Lord difcovered, were in themselves glorious, the glory of the Lord fhone about me: I faw fuch things as eye hath not seen, befides thee O God. Ifa Ixiv. 4. No man hath feen God at any time, the only begotten of the Father, he hath declared him: John i. 18. In a word what I faw was the mytery of godlinefs, 1 Tim iii. 26. the wonders of God's law, which the angels ftooping earnestly look into, 1 Pet i. 12. and that with wonder. 3. They were new things wherewithal I was utterly unacquaint before, and this made them the more affecting: Ifa lii. 15. He shall fprinkle many nations, the kings fhall fhut their mouths at him: For that which had not been told them fhall they fee, and that which they had not heard fhall they confider. As cold waters to a thrifty foul, fo is good news from a far country, Prov xxv. 25 Again, 4. The light wherein these things were discovered, was a clear fparkling light, that had a warming force, and reviving influence, that I was altogether a stranger to before: And one that was a ftranger to light, at leaft to this light of the Lord, could not but with pleasure enjoy it, for truly light is Tweet and a pleasant thing it is for the eyes to behold the fun, Eccl xi: 7. 4. This discovery and manifeftation was of a much longer continuance, and far more bright than any I ever fince got; for it fhone in its brightness for about ten days time, and for long after that, it was not quite off: And while it lafted, many things made,it obfervable. 1. New difcoveries were daily made, the Lord carried me from one thing to another, and in this fhort time taught me more than by all my study I had learned before, in another and quite different manner; what naturally and notionally I knew before, in it I corrupted myself, Jude 10. but now the Lord inftructed me with a strong hand that I should not walk in this way, Ifa viii. 11. and day unto day uttereth Speech and night unto night taught knowlege; Pfalm xix 2. every day I was furprized with fome new, and before unthought of difcovery of the Lord: Prov. iv. 8. This was as the fhining light shining more and more to a perfect day. 2. All this time my mind was wholly almost taken up about fpiritual things; my converfation was in heaven; Phil iii. 20. I faw thofe with whom I converfed turn every thing (even what was not only innocently, but piously faid and meant) into obfcene fenfes: Whereas now, whatever occurr'd in reading, in meditation, in converse, in daily obfervation, was by my mind, and to it spiritualiz'd I reflected with wonder on this difference, and oft, during this while, was made to look on the mind as a mould that cafts whatever is brought into it into its own fhape; Tit. i. 15. To the pure all things are pure, but to them that are defiled, and unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mind and confcience is defiled. 3 Hereon I was not only joyful, but I found the joy of the Lord my ftrength; Neh viii. 1o. for all this while I was carried out to extraordinary pleasure and diligence in duty; It was not now as formerly a burden to go to duty: But I rejoiced when they : faid to me, Let us go to the house of God: Pfalm cxxi. 1. And my foul anfwered, I will go to God my chief joy, to God that performeth all things for me: Pfalm. Ivii. 2.My heart was enlarged, and I run in the way of God's commandments with delight: Pfalm cxix. 32. Willingly I engaged in duty; and when I was engaged in it, my foul oft made me like the chariots of Amminadib, Cant, vi. 12. and I was not easily stopp'd; and faill'd fometimes as to the juft bounds, whereby others that felt not that ravifhing fweetness I enjoyed, were fometimes difgufted, though fome were not; for fo near as I can reckon, it was about this time that the Lord began to commend himself and his worship to lady Anne Elcho, which made her at death blefs the Lord for family worship. 4. The Lord daily inftructed me all this while out of the.fcriptures, and my heart burned within me while he talked and walked with me by the way, and opened the fcriptures, Luke xxiv. 32. which before were as a fealed book, wherein whatever I read was dark; even that whereof I had fome notion: I was ready to fay of it, I cannot read it for 'tis fealed: Ifa ix. 11. The defign and intent, and mystery was hid from me; and the reft of it, I was forc'd to fay, I know nothing of it, I was not learned. Again, 5. Mine enemies received a stunning stroke, and all of a fudden by the appearance of the fun, thefe frightful things that difturbed me in the dark disappeared: He graciously for a time reftrained them, and bore down corruption, chain'd up Satan, and kept me from any disturbance by thefe enemies; with whom I have before had, and fince likewife many fad wrestlings: Pfalm xviii. 12, 14. At the brightnefs that was before him, his thick clouds paffed'. When the Lord arofe, his enemies were scattered, Yea, he fent out his arrows and feat ⚫ered. them; and he fhot out lightnings and difcomfited them.' verfe 17. Thus he delivered me from my ftrong enemy, and from them which hated me: For they were two strong for me.' 6. Which was the life of all the former, the Lord by keeping his glory continually in mine eye, kept me all this while more humble and felf-denied than ever, feeing him, I loathed and detefted felf: Job xlii, 6. Beholding his glory, I was in mine own eyes as a grafhopper, as nothing, less than vanity and nothing, and gloried only in the Lord, rejoicing in Chrift Jefus, and had no confidence in the flesh. Num. xiii. 33, Isa. xl. 22, 17. 1 Cor. i. 30. 5. The Lord had many gracious defigns in this, which I was ignorant of then, as what I fhall speedily narrate will fhew; but the Lord has in fome measure fince taught me, fome of which I fhall here narrate. 1. I was fore broken and wounded before, and the Lord did this in tenderness Job v. 18.-He bound up my wounds: Pfalm cxlvii. 3. He poured in oil, Luke x. 34. he made a bed in my fickness. Pfalm xli. 3: He watched me, and kept me free from disturbance, till I was somewhat ftrengthned. Ifa. xl. 1 1. 2. I had been plunged into grievous and hard thoughts of him, as one who had in anger shut up his tender mercies, and forgotten to be gracious; Pfalm Ixxvii. 8, 9. and I was not easily induc'd to believe good tidings, for I had forgot profperity; Lam. iii. 17. and though it was told me, I could not believe, Job ix. 16. partly for joy, and partly for fear, till I got a clear fight of the wagons and provifions, and then my fpirit revived; Gen. xlv. 27. and the Lord fatisfied me in deep condefcenfion that he was real, and in earnest, and had no pleasure in my death, Ezek. xviii. 32. and xxxiii. 11. and that the wound was not incurable, Jer. xv. 18. that it was not the wound of an enemy, or the ftroke of a cruel one, Jer. xxx. 14, 17. but the wound of a friend, in order to healing. 3. He was now for to make me fell all for the pearl: Matth. xiii, 45, 46. And like a fair merchant that means not to cheat, he let me fee both what I was to leave, and what I was - to |