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prefs of, and an evident congruity to their corrupt fource, and taste strong of that root of bitterness whereupon they grow. While we are yet on the breafts, inbred corruption breaks forth, and before we give any tolerable evidence that we are rational, we give full evidence that we are corrupted. Pfalm. lviii. 3. We fhew that we are inclined to evil by preffing with impatience and eagerness for what is hurtful; and our àverfion to good, by refufing with the greatest obftinacy what is fit, proper and useful to us. At first we are only employed about fenfiblę things, and about them we give the firft evidences that our natures are corrupt. And with the first ap❤' pearances of reafon, the corruption of our spirit difcovers itself. How early do our actings difcover paffion, pride, revenge, diffimulation and fenfuality to be inlaid, as it were, in our very constitution? Any ordinary obferver may difcern inftances innumerable of this fort, very early in children. With these and the like evils, no doubt, were the firft years of my life, whereof I remember little, filled up; Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, Prov. xxii. 1 5. and we go afide affoon as born, fpeaking lies,' Pfal. lviii 3.

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3. In this first period of my life, I had advantages above most. My parents were eminently religious, I was trained up under their eyes and infpection, for most part. I continually heard the found of divine truths ringing in my ears, in their inftructions; and I had the beauty of the practice of religion continually reprefented to mine eyes in their walk. I was by their care kept from ill company that might infect me. By thefe means I was reftrained from those groffer outbreakings that children oft run into, and habituate to a form of religion, and put upon the performing of fuch outward duties of religion as my years were capable of. Hence it appears, that the fin, I now am fully convinced, that I wallowed in during this tract of time, is not to be imputed, either as to

inclination, or actings, merely to contracted cuftom, or occafional temptations; But it really was the genuine fruit and refult of that lamentable byafs man fince the fall is born with. Sure the fpring must be within, when notwithstanding all the care taken to keep me from them, I impetuoufly went on in finful courfes. The holy God hedged up my way by precepts, example, difcipline; But I broke through all. Sure the fprings must be within. And fure it most be very strong that was able to bear down fuch power. ful mounds as were fet in its way, by the pro vidence of God, and run with fo full a ftream, notwithstanding all outward occafions of its increase were cut off, as much as might be. Herein I have a full evidence of a heart naturally eftranged from, nay oppofite to the Lord. And befides, this deeply aggravates my guilt. And they have turned unto me the back and not the face, though I taught them rifing up early and teaching them, yet they have not hearkened to receive instruction.' Jer. xxxii. 33.

4. The care of my father during his life, which ended October 1682, and of my mother after his death, tho' very great, did not change, but only hide nature, which is indeed often hidden, fometimes overcome, feldom extinguished. Albeit I cannot remember all the particulars from the 4th or 5th year of my life, yet so far do I remember what the geneFal bent of my heart was from that time. Upon a review, I must confels that it was wholly fet against the Lord. The carnal mind is enmity against God, is not fubject to the law of God, nor can it indeed be, Rom. viii. 7.

5. To confirm this, when I now furvey the decalogue, and review this portion of my time, notwithftanding of the great diftance, I do diftinctly remember, and were it to edification, could condefcend upon particular inftances of the oppofition of my heart

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heart unto each of its precepts. Whatever influence education may have in moulding what is feen, yet furely the imaginations, of man's heart are evil from his youth up,' Gen. viii. 21.

6. True it is, through the influence of the means before mentioned, I did all this while abominate the more grofs breaches of all the commands, and dislike open fin. But mean while my heart was fet upon the lefs difcernible violations of the fame holy law. My quarrel was not with fin, but the confequences of it, and the main thing I regarded was the worlds o pinion of it. Fear of punishment, pride that fears to be ill thought of, or at best, a natural confcience enlightened by education, were the only fprings of any performances of duty, or abftinence from fin. Prone I was all this while to fin, even of all forts, which that age is carried unto, in fecret when I could fay, that no eye fhall fee me, Job xxiv. 15. They who for credit or other fuch inducements, may feem averfe to fin, yet will make bold in the dark with the worst fins;--Son of man haft thou feen what the ansients of the house of Ifrael do in the dark, every man in the chambers of his immagery? For they fay, the Lord feeth us not, the Lord hath forfaken the earth, Ezek. viii. 12.

7. Even those things, which, in my way seem'd good and promifing, fuch as deteftation of grofs fins, performance of duties, &c. were either purely the effects of a forcible cuítom, a bribe to a natural conscience to hold its peace, a facrifice to felf, a flavish performance of what I took no delight in to avoid the whip, or fometimes a charm to keep me from danger, which I thought would befal me, and dreaded much, if I neglected prayer. Thus my beft things dreadfully increafed my guilt, being like the apples of Sodom, fair to look at, promifing while untried, but within full of athes and noifome matter. When ye fafted and mourned in the fifth and feventh months,

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even these feventy years, did ye at all fast unto me? And when ye did eat, and when ye did drink, did ye not eat for yourselves ? Zech, vii, 5, 6. Bring no more vain oblations, incenfe is an abomination to me, the new-moons and fabbaths, the calling of affemblies, I cannot away with, it is iniquity, even the folemn meeting. Ifa. i. 13.

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8. Thus the spring of corruption damm'd in on the one fide, I mean as to open profanity, by the mounds of education, breaks out on the other fide, in a form of religion, 2 Tim. iii, 5, without, nay plainly oppofite to the power of it, which is no lefs hateful to the holy God: The prayer of the wicked is fin, his facrifice is an abomination, Prov. xxi. 27. 15, 8, 21, 4. Sin in one cafe has a little varnish that hides its deformity fomewhat from the eyes of men; in the other it is seen in its native hew and colours, In the one cafe it runs under ground; in the other it openly follows its courfe, Some mens fins are open before-hand goingbefore them into judgment and others follow after, 1 Tim. v. 24. Whether the one or the other, the odds is not great. The tree is known by its fruit. Matth xii. 33. A corrupt tree cannot bring forth good fruit. Sometimes it may bring forth good-like fruit.

9. But yet, after all, I must confefs that fuch was the ftrength of corruption, that it drove me to feve ral of the more plain and grofs fins incident to this age: Which though fome account pardonable follies in children, yet the Lord makes another reckon. ing of them, and fundry of them have been made bitter to me, fuch as, lying to avoid punishment, fabbath-breaking, revenge, hatred of my reprovers, and others of a-like nature. Same particular fins committed in child hood, which I had quite forgor, as being attended with no notable circumstances, that could make them ftick, rather than other things, and being of an older date than any thing elfe, I

can remember, were brought fresh to my remembrance, when the Lord began clofly to convince of fin, and being prefented in their native colours, in the light of the Lord, and in all the circumstances of time, place, partners in fin, &c, and were made the matter of my deep humiliation, loathing and felfabhorence, as not only full of wickedness in them. felves, but pregnant evidences of the deepeft natural depravity. Which made me fee to whom it was owing, that I went not to all the heights in wickednefs and the groffeft abominations that ever any were carried to, and which a haughty heart, if not restrained feasonably parted by fecret power, and partly by ourward means, would inevitably have carried me to. Prov. xxii. 25. "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,deeply rooted and faftned there "And no thanks to the best, that they are kept from the worst things. "And David faid to Abigail, bleffed be the Lord God of lfrael, which fent thee this day to meet me, and bleffed be thy advice, and blessed be thou, which haft kept me this day from coming to fhed blood, and from avenging myfelf on mine own hand. 1 Sam xxv. 32. For in very deed, as the Lord God of Ifrael liveth, which hath kept me back from hurting thee, except thou hadst hafted and come to meet me, furely there had not been left unto Nabal by the morning-light any that piffeth against the wall." What a monfer had I been, if left to myfelf, and not feasonably re ftrained by outward means, and inward power! bles fed be the invisible hand, and the outward inftruments of this restraint, that kept me back from finning.

10. Thefe are but a very few of the innumerable evils that cleaved to me in this finful period of my life, For who can understand his errors ? Pfal. xix. 12. This period was altogether finful and vain : nay, fin and vanity in the abftra&t. Childhood is va nity, Eccl. xi 10. And all this is deeply aggravated

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