I was fully perfwaded, That this was the way wherein I fhould walk. Ifa. xxx. 21. Hereby I was freed from that difquieting fear, that in trufting to it, I was trusting to that which would fail. I was fatisfied, I could not fail otherwise than by miffing this way, I doubted of myself, but not of the way. 2. The Lord by the discovery above-mentioned, did powerfully draw my foul to clofe with it, and in so far as I cleave to, and closed with this, in fo far, confidering the former discovery of the fafety of this way, I could not doubt of the issue, but was fweetly fatisfied, That my expectation fhould not be cut off, Prov. xxiii. 18. nor my labour in vain in purfuing this courfe. While I cleave to, and repofed with fatisfaction on what I was convinced was fafe, I could not, in so far as I lean'd. to this, but be quiet and compofed about the iffue. Which fhews how nearly allied faith and affurance are, though they are not the fame, and therefor no wonder the one should be taken for the other. 3. Hereby I was animated to walk on in this way, and follow duty; and finding, as I went on in duty, that fo far as I proceeded, my expectation was not difappointed, ftill according to fuccefs, this hope infenfibly and fecretly grew. This God is our God, we have waited for him and he will fave us. Ifa, xxv. 9. 4. This discovery manifefting falvation in a way of felfdenial, and truft only in the Lord; nothing fo foon marred this hope, as the leaft appearance of felf, and ftirring of pride. Whenever the Glory of the Lord was revealed, and he spake peace, I was hereon fill'd with fhame, and the deeper this humiliation was, ftill the humble confidence of my fafety increased. Ezek. xvi. 63. Now these two last remarks fhew, how far this affurance is from any confiftency with negligence, much lefs does it fofter it: For it grows only upon adherence to the Lord's way, and is ftrengthned by a fuccessful purfuit of falvation in the Lord's way. To intermit or neglect duty, razes the foundation, or

Part III. at leaft, lay's an unfurmountable ftop in the way of its progress and growth. And further, it is widely differenced from that uraffaulted confidence fome pretended to which is a fruit of pride, and fofters it, as the last remark clears. In a word, the cafe is plainly thus; this way the Lord difcovers, is fafe for a felfcondemned finner. I am fafe in a practical adherence to it. The further I go, and the cloffer I in practice cleave to this way, hope of his falvation increases the more. Here no place for floth, but a Spur to diligence, as what will not be in vain in the iffue, and is attended with the comfort in every ftep, as carrying ftill nearer the defired falvation. And this fafety arif ing from a renunciation of all confidence in the flesh, and a trust only in the fovereign grace of God thro' Chrift; there is no place for confidence in ourselves, or pride in any degree, the leaft degree of pride being a ftep out of this way of peace and safety.

14. A fixth difcernible difference was with refpect to the ordinances cf the Lord's appointment. Pfalm xxvi. 4. This discovery, 1. Drew me to follow them as the Lord's inftitutions and appointed means of obtaining difcoveries of his beauty. 2. It made me follow after difcoveries of the Lord's glory in them, and difcoveries from him of myfelf, my cafe, my fin, my duty. I defired to behold the Beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple. ibid. 3. It put me to the Lord to feek these discoveries from him, and to pray with respect both to myfelf, and thofe concerned in the difpenfation of the gofpel, one thing have I defired of the Lord. ibid. This was now more conftant, I defired and fought after it. 5. I was brought to more of livelinefs, when the Lord difcovered himself, my foul then followed hard after him Pfalm Ixiii. 8. cxix. 32, 65, 4. when his hand upheld me, and when he drew I run. 6. When the Lord enlarged and caufed me to approach to him, and fee his glory, he ftill humbled me, difcovered felf, and put me in oppofiti

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on to it. I have seen him, and therefor I loathed myfelf. Job xlii. 5, 6. 7. I was now acquainted in fome measure, with that boldness and freedom of accefs, with humble confidence to God, as on a throne of grace manifefting himself in Chrift. In a word, I was fenfible of the Lord's hiding and manifesting himself in duty in fome measure, and of the neceffity of the exercife of grace, particularly of faith, in all approaches to God, and thereby put upon frequent complaints, dejections for the want of it, cries to God for it, and the like.

15. Many other effects followed upon this difco

I found a new and formerly unknown love to all that feemed to have any thing of the Lord s image, however different in principles as to leffer things, tempers, &c, and tho' diftant and unknown, otherwife than by report. And this evidencing itself in prayer for them, fympathy with them in their afflictions; Which, as all the other, ftill was more or less lively, according as I was otherwife in worfe or better cafe. 1 John iii. 14. By this do we know we are passed from death to life because, we love the brethren. Again, 2: Hereon I found my care of all the Lord's concerns enlarged, and I began to be defirous to have the Lord exalted on the earth, Pfalm cxii. 6, 7, &c. Zion profper, and all that love her; I was fearful of hazard that threatned any of his interests, affected with the sufferings of his people, or any lofs his interest sustained. And, 3. Hereon I began to be more concern'd for any affronts offered to the Lord's glory by others. I faw tranfgreffors and was grieved, because they kept not God's law Pfalm cxix. 1 58. and was oft made to weep, and pray for them in fecret. Jer. xiii. 17. 4. I found it eafy and delightfome to fuprefs refentments, and oppose them, and even to pray for those whom I apprehended to have injured me. Luke vi. 27. 28. Yea, with delight 1 could feek their good, their real G

very, too long to repeat at large. 1. He is

good

good, and pray earnestly for it. Pfalm xxxv. 13. Other confequences of this difcovery will be mentioned. hereafter in their proper places.

16. To conclude this chapter, I found this difcovery fweetly drawing Pfalm cxix. 32. Cant. i. 4. to a willing, chearful endeavour after holiness in all manner of converfation. Whereas, all former courfes I took only drave forcibly, to a feign'd fubmiffion: Which made me oft admire the folly of Socinians,and Arminians, and other Pelagian enemies, who pretend, That free juftification leads to fecurity and careleffness. I could not but fay and think often, What, fhall I believe fuch wild and wicked reproaches against my clear experience? Do not I find the quite contrary, while the love of Chrift conftrains to judge thus, That if one died for all, then were all dead, that they who henceforth live, should not live to themselves, but to him that died for them. 2 Cor. v. 14. 15. They err, not knowing the Scriptures, nor the power of God.

Thus all things were in fome meafure made new; and I, who a little before, with the jaylor, Acts xvi. 34. had fallen down trembling, was now raised up and fet down to feaft with the difciples of the Lord, rejoicing and believing. But alas! I was like the dif ciples on the mount, I dreamed not of what was abiding me, Matth. xvii. 4. as the fequel will fhew. This I defire to re-count, however with thankfulnefs, not to my own commendation, but to the praife of the glory of his grace, Eph. i. 3, 6. How far I was from having attained, or being already perfect, Phil. iii. 12. the following pages will clear.

СНАР.

CHA P. III.

Containing an account of the pleasure of my cafe at this time, the mistakes I was still under, the fad effects of them, and the way of their discovery.

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I.

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His glorious difcovery was very furprising, and filled me with wonder; oft was I made to stand and wonder what this strange fight meant, Exod. iii. 3. and whereto it would turn: Things that I had not heard were told me: Isa. lii. 15. Oft did I fay, What hath the Lord wrought! Pfalm cxxvi. 1, 2, 3. When God turned back the captivity of Zion, we were like men that dreamed. Our mouth was fill'd with laughter, and our tongue with finging: Then faid they among the Heathen, The Lord hath done great things for them. The Lord hath done great things for us, whercof we are glad :' The greatness of the things God had done furpaffed belief; and yet the great and clear light wherein they were difcovered, and the difcernible effects would not allow me to doubt.

2. Albeit the effects of this difcovery above-mentioned were most difcernible at first, yet I did not then, nor till after that light was gone, diftinctly obferve them; For, 1. The glory of the Lord was fo great, that for a time I only fixed my eyes upon that, and I was lefs intent, though much pleafed with it, upon the change that was thereby wrought on me. All this while I was ftill crying out, Whence is this to me? Luke i. 43. And what am I, and what's my father's houfe, that the Lord has vifited me, and brought me hitherto? 2 Sam. vii. 18. Again, 2. I was the lefs fenfible, or at least was the lefs diftinct in obferving these things, because of the remaining darkness as to the many and great things contain'd in the covenant of grace. This light clearly reveal'd the mystery of

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