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Of bribes, and threats, and mean intimidations, These low, degrading games of higher stations.
This, I allow, is rather a digression;
Excuse it, as I sometimes moralize.
To half that met his wonder-stricken eyes;
Of all that's delicate, discreet, and wise; For, oh! the public feeling I revere! Who knows but this may some day yet ap
Thus has a faint but faithful sketch been shown
Of these few organs which have been selected; No doubt we might a great deal farther gone,
And more peculiarities detected, But for the present will we let alone,
Suffice that all’s been close enough inspected: I fear soine fools may think this exposition Was meant to prove it just an imposition.
But let them think and judge it as they choose,
A fig for any way they may decide; Where the philosopher who dares refuse
These scientific claims so closely tried ? Away, ye carping sceptics, callous Jews;
Can ever demonstration be denied ? Were this a hoax, as blockheads may suppose it, Yon ruling Elder surely would expose it.
We'll throw a better light still on the science,
And try to shut their mouths with fresh details. I think the mystic state they call Clairvoyance
May crush all doubt, if any doubt prevails, And keep the cav’ling critic at defiance
With all that sophistry which truth assails; However subtle, factious, or dogmatical, We'll show them proofs as good as mathema
The state to which allusion has been made,
Confers the faculty called second-sighted; A sort of omnipresence, it is said,
Possesses minds, no matter how benighted, By which the patient often has repaid
The doubting, curious, and all much-delighted, By scenes, events, and actions all detailing, Which, far or near, were at the time prevailing.
One instance out of many late transpired
In London, of a warehouse waggish boy,
Describing scenes, events, and many a ploy
He gave details, which all seemed to enjoy,
That ancient, sacred, venerable dome,
Where blasted worth and merit lie inurned;
Where heroes, patriots, side by side consume
With conquerors, from bloody fields returned; Where senators and sages find a tomb ’Mong poets, who their midnight lamp have
burned: He saw, described, and read each flattering stone, And many a marble statue dwelt upon.
Then from Westminster Abbey took a range
Throughout a number of the public places Saw what was doing in the Royal Exchange,
Then to the British Museum next he paces: There noted many objects passing strange,
And sketched the heathen gods' romantic faces; Reviewed the House of Commons, Tower, and
And fifty other things we may suppose.
'Tis needless thus on one so much descanting,
When numbers equally attention claim; Whose names, without that vulgar sin of vaunt
ing, Are rich emblazoned on the page of Fame: At home, ay, at our doors, they are not wanting,
Who from experience can attest the same: And who on earth can contradict this teacher, Although at times one may dispute a preacher ?
'Twas recently one being in this state
Saw every act a neighbour then was doing:
His motions, movements, all he did narrate,
With purposes and ends he was pursuing; Though separate between by distance great,
Yet never intercepted was his viewing: Some say his glance, upon such strange occa
sions, Pervades even Nature's secret operations.
Hence to a certainty he can discover
The origin and cause of all diseases, How latent, simple, virulent soever,
And all their operations, when he pleases; A lecture to the patient he'll deliver,
How any one the various organs seizes; That subtle miner, obstinate consumption, He clearly sees, which fools may think presump
Another, under this mysterious spell
Asleep, unconscious too of all around, From any watch the very hour will tell,
And to all colours will a name be found. When he the various things has fumbled well,
This shall be true, and for it I'll be bound: While from the voice he'll any stranger name, Or shaking hands, I've heard he'll do the same.
With fifty other nameless feats, they say,
Which cannot possibly obtain insertion,
As Rhyme's capricious whims we must obey,
And work by wiles, but never by coercion: Besides, it would be tedious; but I pray Make not these truths your topics for diver
sion; As children milk, implicitly receive themNone, save a simpleton, would disbelieve them.
You've had the various facts all clearly stated
This puzzling problem honestly dissected, Its leading features logically narrated,
Its different items narrowly inspected;
Hence, reader, I am tired, and so are you;
No doubt you think we both have had enoughIt is agreed then, to our thread adieu,
Home-spun and long, you see, and rather rough. Perhaps you judge its merits are but few,
Then with your sweeping censure call it stuff: But oh! beware of such foul profanation, Which might provoke your Poet's imprecation !
But judge and censure, damn it, if you please,
With criticizing eloquence like thunder;