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| Thy beauties, Lord-street, next attract the eye, | But then I had a glass ship and a fairy,

(The corporation should have made thee wider ;) Which, by the bye, I sent to Tipperary.
Along its well-trod pavement you may spy

Oh, all ye gallant sons of th' Emerald Isle,
Cart, carriage, gig, pedestrian and rider.
Here slumbering mud-beds " lend their sullen dye;"

Who come to England to get wives and civilize!
So if you wish to cross, take a good stride, or

If you would wish to make the ladies smile, Perhaps your foot, by some curst chance, may dart in,

And look most killing in their gentle eyes, And soil th' unrivalled jet” of Day and Martin.

Unless, indeed, your shapes are very vile,

You'll find in Richardson a perfect prize; 3Poetry.

Here you may see, with slow and measured march, He is, as far as coat and trowsers go,
A crowd of stiff-necked Dandies sauntering;

The most enlightened personage I know.
Prom those who are," au fait," to stay and starch,
[ORIGINAL.]
And chest and waist to due proportion bring ;

Ye hairless wights, I pray ye pass not by
To those who cannot tighten or enlarge,

The far-famed vender of the “ Oil Botanic."
LIVERPOOL,
Yet think themselves, good souls, the very thing.

(I know a lady who would rather die
In short, all nice gradations of a benu,

Than wear a wig ; her hair turn'd grey thro' panie, AN HEROIC POEM, IN SIX CANTOS.

And not by age.) At Horton's you may buy From humble “ would be," up to “ comme il faut.

Tea.caddy, desk, rouge, ridicule or fan-stick. By Shaughnasey O'Shaughnasey, Esq. Cust. Rot. for Here, too, if weather's fine, and streets are clean, Here's, too, a fount for ginger beer and pop, the County of Tipperary.

Some sweet, enchanting angels you may meet, And then the charming new Bologna sausage shop.
Both young and old, from thirty to sixteen ;
Some few, perhaps, are plain, but then they're neat.

'Tis sweet, when half the wearied world's atrast,
CAXTO II.
The ladies here are very seldom seen,

To tread the margin of the silent deep;

When the last tinge has faded from the rest, Versibus exponi tragicis, res comica, non vult.Horat. Árs. Poet,

At least they seldom promenade the street :
They hide themselves at home the whole of Sunday,

And the pale stars their holy vigils keep

'Tis sweet to watch the heavings of the breast Horace says, "suum cuique tribuito;" and, in pursuance of this But make amends by coming out on Monday.

Of those we love, when sunk in balmy sleep. good axiom, I must beg leave to state, that many of the beauti- I think it was some day in last November

All this is sweet; but, as I am a sinner, fut ideas, and most of the elegant versification to be found in my! That luckily down here I chanced to dash on; The sweetest thing I know's a well-cooked dinner. beroic poem, were imparted to me by my friend and cousin, More lovely faces I can ne'er remember

Ah, me! I fear I've made a sad mistake Dermot O'Goster, Lieutenant in his Majesty's Connaught Ran. Than that day met to view what's called “The

In mentioning this, so beg my reader's pardon ; gers, and as true a gentleman as ever finished his fifteenth tumb

Fashion."

But the soft vision of a hot beefsteak Jer. The Lieutenant is of one of the oldest families in Ireland. | Perhaps my heart was more than usual tender :

At every step I felt a new-born passion :

Rushed o'er my troubled soul. I got a card ea being able to trace his descent from Fergus M Goster, who

| Monday last, to beg me to partake | Each eye did execution as it passed, Aourished 800 years before St. Patrtck, and was the first who Each fáce seemed fairer, lovelier than the last.

A feast, to-day, at four, so must push hard os, Landed in Scotland, and colonized and peopled that hitherto

And lose no time, e'en now I must dcpart, or barbarous nation. My friend has gone through his " humanities' | In Church-street, first I met a pretty creature,

I'll keep them waiting at the Star and Garter. at Trinity College, Dublin, and, though I say it, who should not, Dressed in a dark red coat, and ermine fur;

Farewel, then, gentle reader, for a while, is as elegant a scholar as ever bothered an examiner, ot bilked a The next was worse in face, in figure better,

And you fair creatures, who my verses seek: constable.- Nole by the Author.

Her crimson silk pelisse becoming her ;

If I have caused one light and rosy smile
The third was more embonpoint in feature,
But kept ses beaux yeur toujours sur la terre.

To break the outline of your glowing cheek, Some authors, when they take it in their head

I deem myself o'erpaid for all my toil.
I like soft blushes in the sex to find,
(Alas too oft they do) to write a poem,

I vow I've written this within the week ;
Because I'm much that way myself inclined.
Altho' they know such things are never read,

And as there are to be four cantos more,
Yet still they must prefix a stupid proem,
I know a lady here, and what is strange,

Farewel, my hackney-coach is at the door.
To spoil their interesting story's thread :

I've seen her seldom; yet, in that short while,
A kind of bill of fare to tell what's cooning.

I thought earth's wildest deserts I could range,
Indeed I think the plan is very eligible,
To gain the tribute of her angel smile.

(ORIGINAL.1 As some, without it, would be scarce intelligible. Hers is a face no time can ever change;

"Tis stamped with blushing nature's holy wiles I well remember, in my school-boy days, While in her eyes, and o'er her brow enshrined,

TO MARY. How much this kind of thing was wont to bore us ;

Beams the whole heaven of a sainted mind.
How oft, when poring over dry old Sophocles,

You ask me, why with mournful gaze
I wished him at the d-1 with his “chorus :"
And I have gazed upon that dark, dark eye,

I watch you in the dance,
Then those tough prefaces to Terence' plays,

And pure white brow, till o'er my heart there stole And seein unmoved beneath the blaze For mangling which the master used to score us, | That tinge of deep and tender melancholy,

Of mirth's enliv'ning glance. Thank Heaven, now, I ne'er shall want 'em more,

As soft and sad as ocean's distant roll.
(But chiefly that before the “ Heautontimor.")
Oh I had fancied then 'twere bliss to die,

It is not that I have not past
In that pure vision wrapt to breathe my soul !

A youth as bright as yours;
There's Chaucer, Spencer, Butler, and Sir Walter,
While those dear eyes would gently o'er me beam,

But they were hours too sweet to lasti
All preface-mongers, yet they all are charming.

Their memory endures.
And gild the last sad tints of life's' departing dream.
I would not wish the last a line to alter,

It is not that I could not smile
Except one little distich in his Marmion':

Oh woman, woman! loveliest, dearest, best !
Oh, born our heart's wild sallies to command !

With heart that throbbed for joy;
His hero's dying speech, 'tis worth a halter ;
Whose smile can waken in the coldest breast,

But hopes no more the man beguile,
I mean “Charge, Chester, charge-on, Stanley, on."
All that is tender, holy, pure and bland.

That once beguil'd the boy.
His Waterloo, then, what a precious hum,

Within thy arms we find a hallowed rest
I'd rather read the “* Life of Gaffer Thumb."

My spirit was not always cold ;
From all the cold world's wrongs ; thy gentle hand

Like yours, it soared on high;
I think the preface plan is very good
Can press against the pallid brow of care,

But now 'twould fain its pinions fold,
For those dull, worthy, honest souls who need it; And warm to life and love the ude that lingers there.

In lonely rest to lie.
Still, by one-half it can't be understood;

I've been a sort of wandering Cosmopolite,
By others won't, because they never read it;
For the short span of years I yet have seen,

Once, as my young impatient eye
And so, like arrow shot by Robin Hood,
And hope I mayn't be thought too o'erpolite,

O'er life's gay landscape roved,
I bid farewell to it, and pray “ God speed it."
(A fault too oft ascribed to us, I ween)

I deem'd not disappointment's sigh
I think in Canto first's concluding distich
When I declare, that eyes so witching bright,

Would blast the scene I loved.
I left my readers lodged in Castle-ditch.
And forms so sylph-like I have never seen,

The poetry of life was all
As all the worthies for whose sake I write
As those which, planet-like, with dative grace,

I saw, or wished to see;
May not exactly know this town's topography,
Gild the dull system of this smoky place.

And laughed to scorn the warning call
And as some folks might say, “how impolite,
But, hold! what strange theme am I now pursuing!

Of black Reality.
He'yleft his readers in a bog, you see ;'
I meant to write a history of Liverpool,

On Fancy's buoyant clouds I dwelt,
I beg upon a map they'll cast their sight,
But this looks more as if I was a wooing.

And scarce for joy could breathe;
And study well the Liverpool geography;
I sadly fear the sex will prove a tool

Till the clouds parted, and I felt
For then they'll find, what may, perhaps, appal, To work my poem's and my own undoing:

A rugged rock beneath! That Castle ditch-is not a ditch at all.

But such emotions are not gone,
Pare from a ditch, (I vow I don't deceive)

Pray have you seen my last Ode to St. Valentine,
In calf-skin duodecimo, by Ballantyne?

To wake my soul no more;
It is a well-paved street, of houses full :

I look unto the Power, alone
I try to make the people here believe
The shops along this street are very gay,

Those thoughts that can restore."
That this is something very like a bull;

And full of cheap and elegant commodities. But Johnny, some how, can't or won't conceive, Here Rennie's wax-busts make a grand display,

Again the clouds will bear my feet,
How bulls could ever spring from English skull. 1. And spinning Davison's ingenious oddities.

As erst in youthful hour;
They think the English air kills all mistakes,
I hear 'tis sixpence now you only pay: .

When, rising to the mercy-seat,
As that of Ireland murders toads and snakes.
I swear I gave two shillings: let it be ;

I stand before that Power.

D.

And if within this little span

And those that hardly all the year

V. it being the letter W. I am also a subscriber, and My wanderings are forgiven, Had bread to eat, or rags to wear,

A WATER DRINKER. The scenes that smiled as life began Will both have clothes and dainty fare,

Liverpool, January 12, 1821. Will doubly smile in heaven.

And all the day be merry.
The freshness of my soul will glow,

V.
Now poor men to the Justices
As once it glowed before;
With capons make their errands;

Explanation.

WATER is an enemy. a blessing, and a curse : sayes Its God, in the unending flow

And if they hap to fail of these, Of being, to adore.

They plague them with their warrants.

life, and takes it away; is hard and soft ; is hot (at Bath) Great George-street, Jan. 5.

But now they feed them with good cheer,

and cold; sweet and ill smelling; strong (when frozen)

and weak; is subject to reflection when the sun shines; And what they want they take in beer, For Christmas comes but once a year,

has the power of dissolving matrimony, by drowning

either husband or wife; kisses the lips of ladies, when And then they shall be merry. • (ORIGINAL.]

drinking it; assists them in dressing, and improves their Good farmers in the country nurse

charms, when washed with it; subservient and overTO ELIZA. The poor that else were undone ;

bearing ; produces death and its antidote, famine and Some landlords spend their money worse,

plenty; it is a fluid and (when frozen) a solid; is a mounI vow by those bright eyes the world should not sever

On lust and pride at London.

iain and a valley (when frozen) in the Arctic Seas to wit;

There the roysters they do play, The love that I bear thee, Eliza so fair;

has a numerous offspring (fish:) is an enemy to children; I've sworn by my soul to adore thee for ever,

Drab and dice their lands away,

is the subject of miracles; is the theme of poets ; Oh leave me not then to the pangs of despair.

Which may be ours another day,

is an improvement, to music, when performed by its And therefore let's be merry.

side ; is a defender of towns, by moats or ditches; is Witb modesty blended, thy charms so endearing,

seen in the finest paintings; has produced the noblest 15

The client now his suit forbears, Hare over my proud heart the conquest obtained;

architecture in the world, when frozen at waterfalls and Por, where is that mortal, thy virtues revering,

The prisoner's heart is eased;

glens in mountainous countries, as well as at sea. Could gaze for a moment and not be enchain'd ?

The debtor drinks away his cares,

And for the time is pleased. : How oft with delight have I view'd thy fair hand

VI.-Noah in the Ark.

Though others' purses be more fat, i When extended to succour the wretched and old;

VII.-The letter W.
Why should we pine, or grieve at that ?
How oft have I seen thy fair bosom expand

Hang sorrow! care will kill a cat,
At the tale of distress by the fatherless told.

And therefore let's be merry.

REBUS.--Love.
It is not the crimson that flows o'er the cheek,
Hark! now the wags abroad do call

PUZZLE
It is not frail beauty, angelic, divine,

Each other forth to rambling; Nor get even wealth (the vain boast of the weak)

Anon you'll see them in the hall, That ever enraptur'd a heart such as mine.

What is that which is perfect with a head, and per. For nuts and apples scrambling.

fect without a head; perfect with a tail, and perfect

Hark! how the roofs with laughter sound; Ah, no! my dear girl, 'tis thy mind I admire,

Anon they'll think the house goes round,

without a tail; perfect with a head and tail; and perA treasure more precious than beauty or gold, A jewel we cannot by riches acquire,

fect without a head or tail?

For they the cellar's depth have found,
A blessing that ever true joys will unfold.

And there they will be merry.
The wenches with their wassel bowls

As a contribution to this department, a correspondent,
About the streets are singing;

E. B. B. has favoured us with the following melange of The boys are come to catch the owls,

Charades, Conundrums, &c. which we publish as we

The wild mare in it bringing. CHRISTMAS, AS IT WAS TWO HUNDRED

received them; as the Christmas season is so nearly over Our kitchen boy hath broke his box, YEARS AGO.

that we must not continue this subject beyond our next And to the dealing of the ox Our honest neighbours come by flocks,

publication. It would be absurd to make much pretenChristmas, as it was two hundred years ago, is faith And here they will be merry.

sion to novelty in the department, and it is probable our frilly depicted in the following merry carol by George Now Kings and Queens poor sheepcotes have,

young friends will here recognize many old friends. Wither; in which it will be seen, the same complaints And mute with every body;

The honest now may play the knave, prevailed then as of late, in regard to the decay of hos

And wise men play the noddy.

1. Am I able to tell you the word which I mean, pitality, the hardship of the times, and the extravagan Some youths will now a mumming go,

Tis done,-nothing more need be said ;

Believe me the word is as easily seen, cien practised in the upper classes of life :

Some others play at Rowland-bo,
And twenty other game boys mo,

And as quickly as this may be read.
So now is come our joyfulst feast,

Because they will be merry.

But lest you should wander for want of a clue,
Let every man be jolly ;
Each room with ivy leaves is drest,

My first is a part of to be,
Then, wherefore, in these merry days,

My second, tho never belonging to you,
And every post with holly.
Should we, I pray, be duller ?

Is appropriate always to me.
Though some churls at our mirth repine,

No, let us sing some roundelayes, Round your foreheads garlands twine;

To make our mirth the fuller;

My third is an emblem of power and might, And, while thus inspired we sing,

And wisdom and strength it implies; Drown sorrow in a cup of wine,

Should you be my third, with much eager delight And let us all be merry.

Let all the streets with echoes ring;
Woods, and hills, and every thing,

You would haste to remove my disguise. Now all our neighbours' chimneys smoke,

Bear witness we are merry.

But are you my whole ? What adamant soul And Christmas blocks are burning ;

Can resist your all-conquering eye; Their ovens they with baked meat choke,

The rage of the passion you softly controul, And all their spits are turning.

And charm the blue devils away. Without the door let sorrow lie,

Christmas Boxes, And if for cold it hap to die,

GOOD, BAD, AND INDIFFERENT.

2. Dear is my first, when shadow'y night is near; We'll bury't in a Christmas pie,

But 'tis my second makes my first so dear; And evermore be merry.

[Continued from our last.]

My whole with decent care my first preserves, Now every lad is wondrous trim,

And thus to be my second well deserves.
And no man minds his labour;
Our lasses have provided them

| ANSWERS TO THE PUZZLES, ENIGMAS, &c. 3. My first denotes my constant place, A bagpipe and a tabor ;

IN OUR LAST PAGE 221.

My second what I'm made of, Young men and maids, and girls and boys,

My whole is useful in a room, Give life to one another's joys;

THE PUZZLE.

Where eating's made a trade of. And you anon shall by their noise

The Schoolboy whips Tops, and the Master whips | Perceive that they are merry.

4. My first is every thing, my second more than every Bottoms.

thing, and my whole is not quite so much. Rank misers now do sparing shun;

5. Why is the Queen like all the world picking their Their ball of music soundeth ;

ENIGMAS. And dogs thence with whole shoulders run,

6. Why is a piece of land, bought, and not paid for, So all things there aboundeth.

TO THE EDITOR.

like a particular kind of poetry? The country folks themselves advance, With crowdy-muttons out of France ;

SIR,_After having studied with great attention, and 7. My first is founded on doubt, my second on cer.

for a long time, the enigma alluded to, I am satisfied tainty, and my whole the idol of the age. And Jack shall pipe, and Jyll shall dance,

that water is the solution of it; and if you do not receive 8. I would go far in my second to fetch my first, and And all the town be merry.

from any other a better, I trust you will acknowledge with reluctance part with my whole. Ned Squash hath fetcht his bands from pawn, mine as such ; for, I can assure you, I have felt no little 9. Why is an Hebrew in a fever like a diamond? And all his best apparel ;

pride at having made the discovery, for I am not an Brisk Nell hath bought a ruff of lawn,

adept at these things ; yet, by the way, I may as well 10, Nine angles, and a circle not quite in the middle. With dropping of the barrel.

claim merit for having discovered the solution to Enigma Please a man and tease a man worse than a fiddle.

toes ?

11. The child of peasant, Rose, thought it no shame, 1 37. Use me well and I'm every body, scratch my back one present did the same; he then went into the saloon.

To toil at my first all the day ; But when Rose's father a farmer became, and I'm nobody.

where he took a small cup of coffee. It may be well My first to my second gave way. 38. What makes more noise than a pig at a gate ?

supposed every person he invited to dinner made a mood

breakfast before they came, or returned to their own Rose married a merchant, who took her to town;

houses to finish their dinner. 89. You eat me, you drink me, deny it who can,

Those who took their To that eminent station preferred,

meals with him the first time, not accustomed to his

I'm sometimes a woman and sometimes a man. My first and my second were both thrown aside,

method, were actually starved; it was impossible for And she gave all her time to my third.

them to say they had made a kingly repast, though hig

40. Why is a silk hat like a counterfeit passion? table was well covered ; but no circumstance could in 12. My first is a movement that's light,

41. The Emperor of Russia banished one of his sol

duce him to remain at table more than a quarter of an 'My second's a mere strip of leather, diers, for misconduct, where God himself could not have

hour; this used to incommode Josephine greatly, who My whole, if I now guess aright, banished him. Where could that be ?

was often hungry, and could not find time to satisfy ber

appetite. At the time of Prince Eugene's marriage a Is composed of three vowel's together.

Munich, which took place at eight in the evening, all

the nobility in the country were invited to supper. It 13. Mrs. Twitchet with her one eye,

Biographical Notices. was ordered at nine o'clock: tables were laid for Ke A tail of wond'rous length let Ay,

persons, all seated in a long gallery, the entrance wide And as she passed through every gap,

enough to allow the imperial banquetting table, co

MR. JEFFREY. She left a piece of her tail in the trap.

posed of two families, to have a complete view of the

gallery. The Emperor's table was in the form of

{From the London Magazine. 14. When you put on your stocking why are you sure

horse shoe, elevated above that of the 200 persons. The

The whole was magnificent, from the splendour of the to make a mistake ?

Mr.Jeffrey is the eldest son of the late George Jeffrey.

diamonds and lustres. Every person was ordered for 15. When you go to bed why is your slipper like an Esq, one of the deputy clerks of Session in Scotland

to be seated at table during the marriage ceremety, unsuccessful dun ?

When it was over, the Emperor immediately sat dont 16. Why is the devil riding on a mouse like one and

He was born in Edinburgh, on the 23d of October to table; in consequence of the broad daylight, be me the same thing ?

1778. He received the rudiments of his education at mained (which perhaps never happened before) a N 17. Why is Ireland likely to be the richest kingdom?

the High School there: entered the University of Glas- ? quarter of an hour with his guests; he then went inta gow in 1787; was admitted of Queen's College, Ox

Josephine's room, and gave orders for every one to with

draw. This order actually arrived before the whole is. 18. I'm in every one's way yet no one I stop; ford, in 1791 ; and in 1795, came to the bar.

ble was helped; the napkins were scarcely unfolded. My four horns each day

He has been twice married. In the year 1801, he The poor Germans could not recover from their surprix; Horizontally play, And my head is nailed on at the top. married Miss Catharine Wilson, daughter of Dr. Chas.

they expected to make a splendid repast, and were

obliged to go home to supper. Wilson, Professor of Church History in the Univer19. Why are spectacles like hay and corn ?

sity of Sı; Andrew's ; and again, in 1814, Miss Char20. When was B the first letter in the alphabet ? lotte Wilkes, daughter of Cbarles Wilkes, Esq. of

Miscellanies. 21. Which is the oldest tree in England ?

New York, and grand niece of the well-known Joho 42. In what place did the cock crow when all the world Wilkes, Esq. by whom he has one child. His present

• THE ARTIFICIAL LEG. could hear him?

residence is, during the summer season, at Craigcrook 23. "Tis neither fish, flesh, nor bone, yet has four fin

Castle, a romantic sput under the Corstorphin bills, in Shand v. Weiss. This was an action brought to me gers and a thumb ? 24. What is that which increases the effect by dimi.

cover ten guineas, for putting a new foot and ankle ta i the neighbourbood of Edinburgh.

leg sent to the plaintiff by the defendant, to be repaired; nishing the cause ?

His progress at the bar was long extremely doubtful;

and the question was, whether this sum, which the de and indeed it is only within these four years, amidst fendant refused to pay, was a fair remuneration for the 25. A riddle of riddles that dances and skips, all his reputation, that he has risen into high practice. labour and talent employed. The plaintiff, it was starti It deceives with the eyes and cheats with the lips, Of the Edinburgh Review, begun in 1802, Mr

| had amputated the leg below the calf, and with his cum It seldom is seen, yet often is read,

tomary talent had supplied a new foot, an elastic toe, 6 Jeffrey was one of the the original projectors; and, It's as light as a feather, and heavy as lead,

spiral spring ankle, and other machinery which rendered If it meet with its match, it is happily caught,

after one year, during which it was under the conduct it useful to the wearer. The first witness who worked But if money can buy it, it's not worth a groat. of the Rev. Sydney Smyth, bas been all along the sole for the plaintiff recollected repairing a leg for Mr. Wes editor, and chief support.

three weeks ago. Mr. Thessiger (the Counsel for the 26. I'm all head and arms, yet most folks agree,

defendant) said, that that could not be the leg in qe Although a critic of poetry, he does not himself tion. His Learned Friends had better put the right leg No one allures or engages like me.

want a poetical genius. His verses, written chiefly in foremost. Witness recollected another leg three months

m odernd sicher f or ago: Counsel said. non constat the leo in question.27. If you were my first and I were my whole,

**My Learned friend,” said the plaintiff's Counsel My second might go where he pleased; calculated to support bis reputation, though, to these, Mr. Weiss, " is anxious to knock the les from under Then I should be blest, and you'd be caress'd, his modesty bas not permitted him to give publicity. us." Witness recollected repairing another leg, wted And the rest of our lives pass in ease.

We cannot help wishing that they were before the was that in question. Mr. Thessiger was afraid

world, although we are aware it would be an act oth 28. Why is a parish bull like a good story.

| Learned Friend would make a lame story; and welcome

him to all the support he could derive from the identes 29. D vilified T; how can D be reproached for his great temerity for one who, by Dis juag

great temerity for one who, by bis judgments, bas leg. The leg was then described with the minuters & conduct in one word that shall express the quality of given everlasting offence to so many of this irritable an amateur, its machinery, its motion, its steel and box which his libel proved him to be wanting ? genus, to undergo the fiery ordeal of their criticism. springs, &c. in order to prove its value. Mr. Shan

the manufacturer,exhibited a proof of his ingenuity 26 38. What part of a cathedral is expressed by a hundred A literary friend, possessing considerable reputation

own person : he wore an artificial leg. Another mos and a half of oysters?

as a writer, communicated to us the following im. facturer was called, who said the leg was badly broses 31. Why is a stationer's shop like a British man of

promptu, which was elicited from Mr. Jeffrey, by see and he could not determine its value. -Mr. Thessige war ? ing his visitor and coadjutor, the Rev. Sidney Smyth, li

“ My Lord, I apprehend the plaintiff must take to 13 32. What word in the English language expresses

legs.”—Mr. Earle observed, they had still another sites Polly in the fir tree? mount a favourite ass on his grounds:

"to help them over the style."- (Witness had ans 33. Sometimes with a head, sometimes withoat a head; u Thou’rt a greater democrat than Gracchus ;

mised it, had never made a leg like it; but thought, 1 sometimes with a tail, sometimes without a tail.

Thou'rt wittier than Horatius Flaccus ;

did not answer, it was of no value. _Mt. Thessinger Thou’rt ruddier in thy face than Bacchus !

“ I think I may now fairly say, my Learned Prada

have not a leg to stand on." -The Learded Judge to 34. One day a dame I went to see,

And there thou rid'st upon my jack-ase." Who thought herself of high degree,

curred; and a verdict was entered for the defendant. When I went in my first I did, I found 'twas wrong, I was not bid,

NAPOLEON BONAPARTE.

Fatal consequences of Noctambulation.-Early on the For in her face to my surprise,

morning of the 1st December, a young man, they I saw my angry second rise ;

son of a respectable family in Airdrie, arose from í such behaviour ill could brook,

Bonaparte was never more than twenty minutes at bed while asleep, and is supposed to have fallen het Therefore my leave I quickly took,

table; he ate and drank very sparingly; he had time, coming out, and struck the corner of a chair with Resolving soon without controul,

however, to partake. after his soup, of two or three head; he died in a few hours after. The head I well would lash her with my whole.

dishes, and some dessert. He required to be served spected by the medical gentleman of the place, when promptly, not wishing to lose any time; and, as there small fracture was found on the right temple bones

was never but one dish at his table after his soup, he a great quantity of extravasated blood between the same 85. A gentleman made an offer of marriage to a lady,

was to be helped very expeditiously to those dishes he fan- and dura natei, by the rupture of a blood vessel, w and she gave him the word stripes, to transpose.

cied; otherwise he took an almond or some other trifling occasioned his death. From his infancy he had been $ 36. Which island is most subject to love.

I thing from the dessert. When he rose from table every | the habit of rising in his sleep.

A few days since, as a vessel was steering, for the

Correspondence.

CAUTION TO THE BENEVOLENT. Downs, nearly opposite St. Margaret's Bay, while two gentlemen on board were amusing themselves with their

TO THE EDITOR.

TO THE EDITOR. guns at a piece of board floating on the water, they saw alind coming towards them (which afterwards proved to be a carrier pigeon) apparently from the French

SIR, -In the Kaleidoscope of last week, I observed | SIR, -A person, calling himself « The Rev." cuest: when it came near enough to observe so many a letter on the expediency of another Dispeusary; B

Twispensary iB

'c_

C- and a cousio of the late estimable sailors standing on the beach, it made a sudden tack, "hat either that or au increase of medical geu

de sudden tack. That either that or au increase of medical geutlemen Rev. T S , of this lowo, has for several if it intended to take another course; when it came in the present one is necessary, I am of opinion ; months past been soliciting the coutributions of the near the ship. one of the gentlemen shot at and killed but I couceive the last measure would be the best, I benevolent, in Liverpool, towards tbe establishment it: the boat was sent and the poor bird brought on as it would be the most economical ; a point of no of ao lontitution for clothing and educating the chile board, when, on examining it, to the utter astonishment little consideration at the present time. I certainly I dren of the mariners of the port. By artful repre. of all present, was discovered between the feathers

raonot agree with the writer in his panegyric onsentations, partly true and partly false, he has guc(chiefly on the neck) six French gold rings, of the most

some, at least, of the present medical gebllemen of Iceeded in obtaining a considerable sui ; but for its krand and ingenious workmanship. It is reported, that

the institution ; indeed it is scarcely to be expected, I expenditure he seems accountable to do one but to prevent such contraband dealings, all the young heeks that can be met with in the ensuing summer, are

that men, having more private practice than they himself. lo truth, be is a mere adventurer, a speto be trained up along the coast, after the same manner can well attend to, should give the necessary at.

I give me pecessary al cious impostor; and it is time the public should be as those trained in many parts of Scotland, and that a tendance to an institution from which they derive

put on their guard against him. He has had several flater will be sent from thence to attend this duty. | no emolument, and as it can be of no advantage to

warnings, and I did bope that this direct aud une. A so mevs will be erected at certain places, at regular These gentlemen iu hold the situation, I conceive

quivocal one wonld have been rendered unnecessary. distances from each other, for their reception during the it would be to their honour and the pence of their

It seems, however, that the man is not easily apalled, nights, as this illicit traffic by the feathered tribe can be

conscience, did they relinquish it. carried on by day-light only. We understand this is to

and that geotle hints and inuendos are unavailing.

But there is another subject to which I would be called the flying coast blockade.

re is another subject t o co would A generous public, ever ready to succour the dis

wish to call atteution; namely, providing for the ap. I tressed, and io stretch forth its benevolent hand for A few days ago, the horn of a fish was found sticking pointment of properly qualified men, to fill the

the establisment and support of the various instituin the side of a vessel lately arrived from the West situations of physician and surgeon to the iostitu- rions which grace our

tions which grace our land, should not be suffered Indies, and now repairing in one of the graving docks. tion, in future.

to contioue ibe dupe of this artful adventurer. Let The astonishing impetus with which the fish must have lo tbe metropolis it is required, that candidates | bim pause before he proceeds furtber, or he may truck the ship, may be estimated from the fact, that for these situations, in any of the hospitals or dis

again hear, in a different way, from him who thus he horn had actually pierced through the planks and pensaries, shall be licentiates of the College of Phy-addresses you, induced solely by regard for the outimbers of the ship to the depth of nine inches! sicians, or members of the Royal College of Surgeons; I raged principles of charity.

Yours, &c. 4 in almost every provincial bospital or dispensary, Flight of Birds.-A letter from an officer of the Con

VERITAS., this law also obtains. It is required for the obtain. tay, dated Rio Janeiro, October 2, says :-In lat. 1. 20. 5. t. and long. 22.30. W. we caught a bird called a Booby,

ling of a commission in the army or navy, and in the ith a piece of leather tied to one of its legs, having | East lodia Company's service; as also in merchant To

and - of LIVERPOOL, Henry de Nantes,' on it, which we took off, and tied ships, where required by law to carry a surgeon.

WHO HAVE SIGNALIZED THEMSELVES BY - a piece of silver, with H. M. S. Conway,' and the Since the days of Frederick ibe Great, it has beeo

WORRYING CATS. titude and longitude as above, marked on it, and then required in Prussia, that they should be members

the bird fly; and what is very singular, on our ar- of the College of Berlio. Some years ago, it was Fal at Rio Janeiro, we found the said ship, Henry de ordered by the Emperor of Russia, that none should

SIRS,- 1 beg leave, through the medium or a pafantes, loading for France; and it appeared by her log, be allowed to practice in his dominions, but licen.

per at all times devoted to the cause of humanity, by caught the bird and let it go again at least 900

to call your serious attention to the circumstances tiates of the Imperial College. Last year, the same des from where we caught it." law was passed in the Netherlands.

which have been lately related in the London and A similar one

provincial newspapers, of the sufferings of Miss Sheridan.-No man was readier with a repartee than

was made by the French Republic, which has been

A law to

Craigg, of Bermondsey. This young lady, in the beridas. The relater of this anecdote once encountered continued by the present Government.

the same effect has been passed by our own legislaim nearly opposite the Adelphi, just at the moment

full enjoyment of health and ionocence, has been at

once siatched from all earthly happiness, and be. hen a cart loaded with long iron rods was passing; and ture, for the regulation of apothecaries; and a si.

come the victim of a wretch, who (from what motive por casually remarking that the music it made was milar one would have passed for the surgeons, two

idoes pot appear) threw into her face an enraged cat ; me of the most delightful, Sheridan immediately re sessions ago, but for one clause, which was opposed vided, “ Music-music?"glancing at the vehicle, " oh, by an individual, and, in consequence, withdrawn

and which animal baving no doubt, been made the sub. # to be sure, ironically speaking! certainly not.” for further coosideration; and which bill, I under

'Iject of amusement to some person of your "fancy," stand, is again to be brought forward, io next ses

had become mad. Such an occurrence is not uucom. sion, when I have no doubt it will pass. To con

mon; for it is asserted by several writers on the Scientific Records. clude, it is required by the trustees of the Infirmary

subject, that many animals, when greatly enraged

or tormented, become rabid, and by their bite comof our owo town. I would ask, then, are the poor,

municate that fatal and most horrible disorder the Ponprehending Notices of new Discoveries or Improve who apply for relief at the one sostitution, less ob

hydrophobia. Now, if (as your cruel habits warrant' ments in Science or Art; including, occasionally, sin- jects of care than those which apply at the other? gular Medical Cases; Astronomical, Mechanical, are they less sensible to pain, or their lives of less

nie in supposing) you are callous to the sufferings Philosophical, Botanical, Mcteorological, and Mine value to their families or ihe community; that thus

of poor animals, and even of those of your fellowralogical Phenomena, or singular Facts in Natural any empiric is good enough for them, while regularly

creatures, perhaps self-preserrution may have the History; Vegetation, &c. ; Antiquities, &c.; to be educated and approved men alone are entrusted with

effect of inducing you to desist from your inbuman continued in a series through the Volume.) . the otbers ? or, do the trustees consider their insti.

practices; and you may be led to consider that it is tution so insignificant, as to fear that no member of

highly probable, if not absolutely certain, that every A newly-invented diving-machine was tried at Vienna The College would offer himself? This cannot be

cat which your dogs, at their master's bidding, tear 3 the 1st of October. The diver remained at the botthe case; for, on a late occasion, I observed that

to pieces, is more or less in a state of hydrophobia : m of the river (24 feet) for an hour, with a light, and

that their bite may communicate it to your fourseveral of the candidates styled themselves such. d not ascend until he was called for. According to

1

footed favourites in their work of destruction that le peculiar construction of this machine, no want of ain sure, also, it cannot have been from jobumanity

from them that most direful of all maladies may r can ever be experienced.

that this has been so long overlooked. I therefore
attribute it to the necessity of it not having struck

sprend among the inhabitants of this populous town,

and that, in all probability, YOURSELVES WOULD Nautical Pump.-Captain Leslie, of the American them, and hope they will now take it into their se

BECOME ITS FIRST VICTIMS. el the George and Susan, invented in his voyage rious consideration.

With the same warning voice, I would recom, on North America to Stockholm, the following simple That there are some who have not been regularly method of keeping the ships pumps at work, when the educated or approved, who are even ao ornament to

mend to your notice the prints by Hogarth, of the a ruas high, and when the crew are not sufficient, or the profession, I doubt vot; but whilst amongst

Four Stages of Cruelty," where you will find that re already fatigued :- About ten or twelve feet above thein, we run the risk of choosing an unqualified

“ cat worrying" is one of the steps towards other de pump be fixed a spar, or small mast, one end of

ooe. Amongst those who bave gone through such
e Amon

cruelties, ihai I am willing to believe you will not hich projected overboard, while the other was fastened 1 a course of education, as those fully competent to

think of without horror. & lever to the machinery of the pump. To the end | "I judge have directed, aud who have been approved

Trusting that you will not treat with scorn these haich projected overboard, was suspended a water butt, "age

admonitious, but by your future good conduct avoid. Elf full By this simple contrivance, every coming by such meu as Home, Abernetby, Cooper, Earl,

the exposure of the past, which would bring disgrace ve, as it raised the water butt, depressed the piston of Blizard, &c. we are sure we never can be wrong.

on yourselves and au your connexious which are out pump; and every retiring wave, as the water butt. The giving these sentiments, or something better unk with it, raised the piston again ;-and thus without from your own more able pen, a place in one of your

unkoown 10

A FRIEND TO ANIMALS, be aid of the crew, the ship was cleared of water in | papers, of an early date, will much oblige, Sir, our hours tiune.

A SUBSCRIBËR. T Liverpool, 5th Jan, 1821.

or 10 NO NO

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TO THE EDITOR. . lover the morals and pursuits of young men placed un- | RE-PUBLICATIONS. The articles furnished by A der their care

CYRMY and W. H. have, we believe, already had SIR,- perused, in a recent number of your useful

w. 1 a place in the Kaleidoscope. We shall, however, X

certain the fact previously to our next publication. and pleasing miscellany, some strictures upon Liverpool society and manners by an anonymous corres To Correspondents.

FRENCH CRITICISM.-We have been pretty generelly pondent, and bad hoped that a subsequent number

advised not to resume the subject of the phrase "M

très chere père et mère,&c. as its discussion has would have produced a reply to the charges brought HOUSELESS POOR.By the accustomed benevolence against the male part of our community; but as abler

of a Liverpool public, we trust we shall be enabled to

already occupied a share of our columns dispropor carry on this frugal and effective establishment on a

tionate to its real importance. We shall, however, hands have not been found to undertake the task, I

scale commensurate with the demands for admission.

endeavour to give, in an abridged form, the substance trust a few remarks from a very humble advocate of It will be a source of gratification to the subscribers to

of the unappropriated communications which are still our towu's good name in the provincial circle will not

in our possession on this subject. hear, that about twenty of their fellow men have, by

means of their bounty, escaped passing the night We have to thank K. for the Trials of the Scotch Lords, be altogether unacceptable. lo che first place, your

without shelter or food. Nothing can more forcibly which shall be returned to him, as the subject is de correspondent betrayed very palpable ignorance in the illustrate the possible utility of such an asylum as that too political a cast for our columns. We shall shortly. institutions of civil society, in drawing the ratio of our provided in Blundell-street, than the reflection that avail ourselves of the interesting printed account of intellectual state from what he has observed in assem

the poor boy, whose deplorable death is recorded the Plague, with a copy of which we were some time

in the last Mercury, might have been saved and reblies, concerts and balls. With as much propriety

since favoured by the same friend.

stored to his father, had he not sa secreted himself as might a native of Ireland, for instance, who had wit to render it impossible that the watchmen could meet

NATURAL HISTORY.-The interesting description d nessed a recent disgraceful transaction here, tell his

with him in their rounds.

the Lark, the translation of C. from Sismondi, in out SUBSCRIPTIONS.

next. We suppose we may depend upon the 8 countrymen on his return home, that the principal R.R.

............... £2 0 0 nality of the translation. part of our male inhabitants wore short tailed coats,

It occurred to us on parim W. R.................................................... 2001 sal, that we had previously met with it, and were. and were much addicted to the amusement of car Mrs. R. ............................

2 0 0

ture to put the question, as we have not the pieszy worrying.

Miss R. ...........

001 of personal acquaintance with our correspondents . It is also very evident that your correspondent's Mr. O. Wood ........ Mr. Huddlestone

a Some letters, recently received, render it necessary at sphere of observation has been very contracted, or he Mr. D. M. Lydiate...............

expedient on our parts, to state to our correspondeta would, ere this, have found that the generality of the Mr. Morecroft...........

generally, that many communications alrady schnote frequenters of balls, &c, are but an indifferent sample

Mr. H. Denison

1 0

Iedged, although deferred for a time, have not been IA. B. ............... of intellectual society.

lost sight of, nor intentionally slighted. Our friends It is in the domestic, the social (G. L. Cox ..........

may not always see the causes of delay in the inner ctrcle, in the very bosom of society that the mental | Robert Benson ............

tion of any particular article, in the same point of endowments and the moral virtues are develloped: 1 Francis Jordan ...........

view in which it strikes the Editor. We trust tha! into this sanctuary he cannot have been admitted, or Matthew Miller ..............

is not claiming too much indulgence, however, cat cannot have been admitted, or Isaac Cooke

part of the latter, to expect that his friends will give he would have found a larger portion of our commu- James Hodgson............

him credit for common sense, and some regard for aity “wbo possess eminent talents and acquirements, H. Whitaker ................

own interest, as connected with the reputation ex and unite the charm of perfect ease to the still greater T. T. ...................

journal. If he be not destitute of the common play Mr. Swanwick

ciples of human action, he must occasionally dis grace of refinement of mind." Beneficient Society, per Mr. Isaac Warbeck,

in opinion with his correspondents, both on the mere · From the superficial nature of his observations | . president.....

of particular compositions, and as to the properti cannot suppose he is located among us, but merely an Anonymous .........

for their introduction. If a youthful poet, for accidental sojourner, who having had letters of introB. H.-Saturday night's fireside................

stance, should, in the depth of winter, produce in Mr. T. Mather, jun...

1 0 0 hot-bed of his or her imagination, a sonnet to take duction to some of our mercantile houses, is, as a mat. Mr. w. Brown'.

0 0 Rose or the Harvest Moon, he or she may be very ter of course, invited to their balls and parties, but has | Mr R. V. Y.......

0 0

loath to defer its public exhibition, until the reces never had an opportunity of tasting the sweets of select

A Lady ............

0 10 0 of that season which would best insure the sytupad Martha Hart, Hill-top..

............ 1 0 0 1 of his readers. society.

His editor, however, who m87 .........................

1 0 0 1 be more of a matter of fact sort of genius, me · Such a person is surely ill calculated to write essays Mr. J. B. Y....

1 001 here interfere, and endeavour to preserie Son upon Liverpool society and manners. As the conti

thing like what painters style kecping. To g.

* Our readers will perceive that the place of refuge for nuation of his lucubration has not appeared, we cannot

one instance out of a hundred, by way of these poor fellows is no longer in Kitchen-street, but in lustration, it was this taste for having "props judge whether he intends to confine himself to the Blundell-street. The cellar in the former street was too things in proper places” which induced us, at the office of censor, or to make some practical results for confined, as the number of applicants is on the increase.

minent risk of our acknowledged character le At the time of writing this paragraph (Monday noon) there our improvement; but I beg to remind him that that

lantry, to resist the reiterated request of the are "eightteen” inmates. A little tobacco and a few pipes reader who is so anxious to see in the columns man is more of a cynic than a philanthropist, wbo would be very acceptable, not as articles of luxury, but of Kaleidoscope, one of Hogg's snow scenes, Tea the most essential service under the peculiar circumstances

the merits of which, we fully coincide with her in which these poor men are huddled together. In justice, I must observe, that his observations upon

though we thought the most appropriate time * situation of young men in offices are very correct: LOGIERIAN SYSTEM.We shall pause also before we

introduction was not in the dog days, during

it was so warmly recommended. We might be ned removed from the protection of their parents and in- resume the subject, upon which we have to acknow.

wrong, indeed, in this conclusion, as it might possi structors, to strange society, it is no wonder they fall ledge the receipt of a note from our quondam corres

pondent, Simon GULLED.

have operated as a kind of metaphysical ice cream into the spares which are always spread for the un.

but, as it did not occur to us at the time. wary in a populous town like this; it is no wonder Although it may not be very material or very interesting have since waited in vain for a tremendous all

to enter into any minute explanation on the subject snow, as a suitable harbinger to the story alluded they imbibe the vicious principles and the corrupt taste

of S. E. N.'s inquiry, yet as we wish to be on the best

The meaning of this long digression in plain bar of the young men of fashion and pleasure, into whose

terms with our very numerous correspondents, we

is, that we hope our correspondents will not con society they are thrown: and I can only lament that shall dedicate a few lines, to set the matter right. that we have rejected their offerings because I those who have it in their power do not endeavour to

In one of our recent numbers, we inserted a short not immediately avail ourselves of them ; but article, although it had appeared in a previous num.

give us as much latitude as possible as to the state form the minds of youths over whom they have con

ber. The reason was briefly this: when our publica and mode of insertion. troul. This may be a difficult task, but at any rate it tion was prepared for press, we found an objectionable

passage in a short original letter which we had inserted, should be attempted. The first step would be to form

Amongst other correspondents to whom the foreret

remar! and which rendered it necessary to exclude it, in

lies, are A SUBSCRIBER-WELL-FISEER some plan to put the mind in action upon something

-THE SCHOOL MASTER-A WA conformity with our uniform rule of conduct. There

100L MASTER A WAREFUL SE useful, and give it a taste for knowledge. I am in

was no time to be lost, as the hour of our publication

BITANT-THE GREAT PLAGUE IN LONDON formed this has been done with considerable success |

CATO-F.HAMAN.-G. C.-TAE MAN IN TH had arrived ; and not being able to find any article of

IRON MASK-XXI.-KAR-A FRIEND TOTS by an eminent mercantile house in this town: at stated the same extent to supply the chasm, occasioned by

the letter thus expunged, we had recourse to a short

INDUSTRIOUS POOR-M. S. D.-R. H.-J .com periods, when the business of the day is over, a ques

piece, called the * Picture of Time, by the Rev. C.

A NATIVE-R. L.-Criticus, and many Oche tion is proposed for discussion, and every one is allowed

Cotton,” which was preparing for one of the early

particularized in a recent number. to give an opinion. This appears to be an admirable numbers of the Kaleidoscope we were re-printing

Further Acknowledgements. -S. S. N.-AR method. If what I have offered meets your approba

at the time, the entire edition of that number

TRIAN.-X.-R. H. having been sold out. Such a circumstance never tion, I shall endeavour to impress further the necessity

occurred before, and probably never will happen again. and the practicability of our mercantile men watching! We trust this explanation will satisfy S. E. N.

Liverpool : Printed and published by E. Smith & la

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