CHAPTER XIII.

To be weak is miserable,

Doing or suffering.

MILTON.

WEST, though as unthinking as his reprobaté companion, was not altogether as heartless, and could not help at times being deeply affected by a sense of the guilt into which he was plunged. Journeying through the jungles, he heard none of the wily arguments of infidel authors, to drown the "still small voice;" he saw nature beautiful in all her works, and felt that he had violated her order; even a confused suspicion crossed his mind that, merciful as he believed God to be, and ready to forgive human infirmities, this was something to be punished; and the more he thought, and the further he removed from the haunts of civilized life, the plainer did the evil of his conduct appear. Restless, and awakened, he fancied that

under his com

his own servants, and the sepoys mand, regarded him with near and painful se verity, from which he tried in vain to escape. This sadness, which did not always escape the observation of Harriet, mortified her vanity, and rendered her so peevish, that even West, willing as he was to overlook all, and bear with all, could not be blind to it. Whenever the misery of his mind prevented his endeavours to amuse her, she reproached him with what she had done and what she had left solely for his sake; forgetting that she had mercilessly sacri. ficed his feelings in the first instance by her marriage, and his reputation and moral rectitude in the second, to the mere indulgence of her own will; and now that she had enthralled him past his power of extrication, she, like a fiend, upbraided him with the misery into which she had plunged them both.

One evening, when West, wearied with repressing his bitter feelings, had stolen out and left Mrs. Marriot alone in the tent, she was surprised by the appearance of a messenger, who entered and presented a letter and a package addressed to

her. Taking the letter hastily from his hand, she easily recognised the hand-writing of Colonel Howard'; and having a conviction that the contents could not be very agreeable, as soon as she ascertained from the bearer that it came from Cawnpore, she laid it down, dismissed him, and began immediately to inspect the package, which the messenger told her he had been charged by her ayah to give into her own hands. She found it contained several changes of apparel which her provident domestic, on receiving orders from Colonel Howard to pack up her mistress's things for her use, had thought proper to send, willing by such a needful attention to retain her favour, when she found that there would still be means of rewarding her services. Mrs. Marriot then took up the letter, broke the seal, and read:

"I have to inform you, that at three o'clock this morning your excellent husband was released from the sufferings your disgraceful desertion brought upon him. He died the victim of your shameless conduct. Your ingratitude Lost and sunk as

pierced him to the heart.

you are, if you could at this moment see, as I see, those eyes, fixed in the calm of death, which a few hours ago overflowed with burning tears for your shame; if you could see the benign smile on those cold lips, which last moved in prayer to God for your forgiveness; surely you would sorrow for the ruin you have wrought, and repent in dust and ashes. That is all that is left to you; all that your longest life can accomplish.

"But I must not, even in my just indignation, forget the sacred promise I made in his last moments to him who was your husband ; then he thought not of himself, of his unmerited. suffering; he only thought of saving you from the misery into which you have plunged yourself. He has confirmed your marriage-settlements, ample are they are, and secured to you the means of living in affluence, so that want may not tempt you to continue the life you have chosen. Let his generosity, let his voice which speaks to you by me, stop you in the downward path of guilt. Return, Harriet, as you value your own soul! If you have a par

ticle of humanity in your bosom, if you are susceptible of one emotion of gratitude, if you hope for a moment's peace here, or forgiveness hereafter, return; only come back a penitent, and I will receive you, and I will place you where the world's reproach shall not trouble your efforts to gain pardon from your God."

Selfish as was the heart to which this appeal was made, it was not altogether without effect; as by the power of friction on ice, some natural sparks of feeling were emitted, and Mrs. Marriot shed bitter tears over her husband's death and his kindness towards her; but again the evil spirit of self-willed justification, which is ever ready to exert its influence against salutary sorrow in irreligious minds, whispered, “If he had not been so unreasonably angry; if he had not shut himself up in his own room, all this would not have happened. It was his own fault, he was more to blame than I am, and I dare say he was sorry for it." Like all wayward people under the goading influence of self-conviction, she sought to look abroad for the evils which were all within, and had recourse to the