Thus strengthen'd, mine host And bounce like a true valiant tailor; If not greater than Fox, or than Naylor. Midnight being past, When by constant experience 'tis found, Before they can spell, That ghosts like the watch take their round. Then a noise from afar, Lest courage now needful should fail. The fright had been small, But-my hair stands on end while I tell it— Seem'd just come from hell, And a parson was sent for to smell it. He soon found by his nose, That the vapours arose From the place where the Quaker lay panting; What pity, alas! How unlucky it was, That Hogarth wasn't there with his painting. Account for the stink; But what the strange drumming should be, Who e'er could believe it? 'Twas the captain's great dog and a flea. MR. AND MRS. WRIGHT; From trifling causes, trifles light as air, Which might be saved, and thus spare publication, Thus much for preface-they've got to such a rage, To give my tale, One Billy Wright, who kept a noted shop Of dressing, frizzing, and such like cultivation, Solely to the tongs, By which he kept a decent-looking arbour. What many a dunce Would plumply call a barber! With tongs and scissors, cut and crop away, And though, of course, the payment made it sweet, What afterwards befel, 1 I must not comment, but proceed to facts. And ladies are to blame, They ought to humour all their husbands' acts. 'Tis a wife's place To try to humour and to please his station; Was in this most deserving situation. The tongs and shovel, as sometimes 'twill happen, Nor did she stir or care to move the shovel; Did she but begin it, Would have made a parlour of "this wretched hovel." "The devil take the stocking, and you too! "What I've bid you, Madam, can't you do? "And why can't you, sir, pray, as well as me ? "I'll not give way, 'cause you're so fidgety." "Fidgety! madam? 'tis false! out of my sight.". "I shan't, you lout! I shan't," cried Mrs. Wright. Now Mr. Wright, With passion and fright, Sent the old shovel quick across the room. 66 Away, infernal Cried Wright, and broke a bottle of perfume. "The money that I brought when married, raised your fame, "You snivelling wretch!" cried Mrs. Wright again: "And glad to get me; but a parting deed "Shall soon end this." Quoth Mrs. Wright, "Agreed." Then in a passion, in this furious round, With cups and saucers soon she strew'd the ground; Tried to appease this foolish rash oration; They calm'd the hubble-bubble, And all they wanted was an explanation. But how to make it was no easy matter, They'd both forgotten what began the clatter; "She would not move the shovel," echoed Wright, Scratching his thoughts together, "That caused the fight." They both shook hands, acknowledged it was wrong, For such a trifle to make such a ding-dong : The neighbours all And songs went round all night; Glasses fill'd as soon as empty, She a kind indulgent wife remains, And he to serve her does his utmost pains, And like Darby and Joan live Mr. and Mrs. Wright. WHAT IS LIFE? -What is life? 'Tis not to stalk about, and draw fresh air From time to time, or gaze upon the sun; "Tis to be free. When liberty is gone, Life grows insipid, and has lost its relish.-ADDISON. SPEECH OF BRUTUS ON THE DEATH OF CESAR. Romans, countrymen, and lovers! hear me for my cause; and be silent, that you may hear: believe me for mine honour; and have respect to mine honour, that you may believe: censure me in your wisdom; and awake your senses, that you may the better judge. If there be any in this assembly, any dear friend of Cæsar's, to him I say, that Brutus' love to Cæsar was no less than his. If then, that friend demand why Brutus rose against Cæsar, this is my answer,-Not that I loved Cæsar less, but that I loved Rome more. Had you rather Cæsar were living, and die all slaves, than that Cæsar were dead, to live all free men? As Cæsar loved me, I weep for him; as he was fortunate, I rejoice at it; as he was valiant, I honour him; but as he was ambitious, I slew him. There are tears, for his love; joy, for his fortune; honour, for his valour; and death for his ambition. Who is here so base, that would be a bondman? If any, speak; for him have I offended. Who is here so rude, that would not be a Roman! If any, speak; for him have I offended. Who is here so vile, that will not love his country? If any, speak; for him have I offended. I pause for a reply. None! Then none have I offended. I have done no more to Cæsar, than you should do to Brutus. The question of his death is enrolled in the Capitol; his glory not extenuated, wherein he was worthy; nor his offences enforced, for which he suffered death. Here comes his body, mourn'd by Mark Antony; who, though he had no hand in his death, shall receive the benefit of his dying, a place in the commonwealth; as which of you shall not? With this I depart that, as I slew my best lover for the good of Rome, I have the same dagger for myself, when it shall please my country to need my death. |