"Mistress !-how ?-are you not Mr. De La Trampa's daughter?" "No, to be sure I a'n't!" "No? For God's sake then, who, what are you?" His daughter's waiting maid." CHAPTER XXIII. Οὐκ ἔστιν οὔτε τειχος, οὔτε χρήματα, POET. GR. GNOM.-ALEXIS. So, here is fine work! this artful little hussey has been too much for us all. Gone off with a man? Jealous Wife. A WAITING-MAID!-I recoiled as from the hug of a bear. It was sometime before I recovered my speech, which I did to use it in invective against my-mistress! my own, my beloved! O fie, fie! "And so," I exclaimed, "I have been playing the fool all this time to win a -servant-wench!" "To be sure you have!" replied my darling, in perfect good-humour-" And pray, what else did you expect to win, Master Levis? Was you such an ass, as to think a lady would stand, at a street door, to listen to such babytalk as yours? Celestina? heavenly name!--But what more humble appellation could match with beauties so divine ! ha, ha, ha !—and a lady to run away, at a minute's warn ing, with a doll-face boy she knew nothing about but his name! O, Lord, Lord! you're a pretty lad to deal with the women!"--and she laughed till the carriage actually shook with her convulsions. I bit my nails in vexation. "And your name, I suppose, is not Celestina?" "No, to be sure it isn't! I was christened Margaret, at your service, and am called Peggy for shortness." "And the foreign accent in your voice, which I mistook for Spanish, is?" "Irish." “Hell and furies !-Coachman !” 66 Stop a bit!" she cried, bursting into a fit of laughter, while she drew me back to the seat, from which I had sprung-"Don't make a greater fool of yourself! It's too late now; let the man drive us through the first stage as you ordered, and we can part then if you like you know." "There was reason in what she urged: so I suffered myself to be quieted, and began to reflect on my con. duct. The girl, I found, was not so much to blame as myself:-My own vanity had deceived me; and thinking I had seduced a gentle woman, I had carried off—a servantwench. "Spanish ambassador!" I muttered" a good joke indeed! So I was to catch a fortune, and have caught -a Tartar!—Well, I may as well make the most of my bargain, since bargain it is :"—and resuming my good-hu. mour, I echoed her laugh. The girl commenced a new peal; I echoed that: and so we both laughed and laughed, till we were tired of the sport. When we had finished, I turned to the lady -: "And now Margaret-since Margaret you are-tell me how you managed to dupe me so easily? Where got you your fine words, heh!” "Fine! they were no finer than your diamond!-Ha, ha, ha! that was a pretty trick, too!" "By heaven, Celes Margaret! I was honest there I paid eleven guineas for the gem, whatever it was made of." "Then you paid dear enough for it, that's all. I was up to such tricks, and so took it to a jeweller's, and found you out. But as for my fine words,-la! I got them where I got my fine name—in the novels which my mistress used to make me read to her every day Celestina? Heavenly name!" I retorted, "Ah, you girls are ever such deceivers!· heigho!" and again the carriage shook with our merri ment. "One word more, Margaret. What was your motive in so readily consenting to elope with me? Had you endeavoured to make me believe in your respectability, I. might assign a motive without much difficulty; but, as you have made no secret of what you really are, I cannot, for the life of me, conceive what advantage you propose to yourself from a freak like this." 66 Why, I was tired of my place, and, as my month was up, and my wages all settled, I was determined to try a little life, and I thought you would answer my bit of a purpose as well as a better man :-so here I am, Peggy Phelin, at your service.- -Come, now, you mustn't get mad—and all for nothing at all!"—and Miss Phelin threw her arms about me with no timid pressure, and showed that her lips, at least, were heartily at my service. Though it was dark, I knew from memory that the girl was handsome; and if her hands were not quite so soft as when they were lady's hands, still they were not hard or clumsy; and then, her mind was not an ordinary mind; and moreover, she was so good-natured!—and further. more, her voice was so soft! the softest Irish voice that I had ever heard, with just enough of the brogue to spice it agreeably; and then, I was not quite twenty !—and, all things considered—I forgave her. What had you done in a similar case, my youthful Reader? "Well, Peggy-we will kiss and be reconciled,-and in good time I see; for the coach has stopped, andhark! what says the driver?" "The first stage, your honour-jist eight miles from Lunnun. Shall I put up, sir?" "Of course! your horses cannot hold out all the night. What sort of an inn have we here?" "Och! a very dacent inn, your honour." "Drive up, then." As I handed my companion from the carriage, I thought she eyed her countryman with rather more earnestness than was necessary. However, it might have been from a feeling of patriotism; for the fellow was handsome, and of most manly proportions. "I hope your honour will consider the horses, sirthe poor bastes have had a hard go of it, your honour”. (eight miles in two hours!) "it'll be downright murder to be after drivin' 'em back agin to-night." "In the devil's name, then, put them up, and yourself too! I'll settle for the whole expense :-and here, I may as well pay you now ;-what is the fare?" "A guinea, your honour--and a moderate bit of a bill it is, too!--but Dennis O'Dogherty isn't the lad to be after chating so cliver a gintleman, at all, at all!” "Well, Dennis, there it is-and a crown for yourself, my good fellow." I "Ah! long life to your honour, for a swateturned to the house before he could finish; but I heard the rascal add, in a lower tone-" fool of a gintleman!" A lesson from a hackney-coachman is as good as a lesson from a hackney-moralist. I did not dream, that night, of bridal processions, and ladies, and lobsters-for I had neither oysters nor poetry to digest; but, blest with a quiet conscience, I slept till some hours after cock-crow. On awaking, I found that the ci-devant and soi-disant Celestina had quitted my protection, taking my bundle with her own by way of keepsake. Nor was that all;-for, determined to take time by the forelock, she had helped herself to my watchthe superb jewelled watch that my dear aunt had given me. I verily believe the lady would have left me nothing but the shirt on my back, so boundless was the affection she had conceived for every thing connected with my person; but, luckily for my modesty, having found the pillow uncomfortably low during the night, I had thrust under it all the clothes I had in use :-thus I saved my purse. Damning the girl with great sincerity, I began to dress myself; but such was my agitation, that I thrust my legs through the sleeves of my coat, and my arms through the legs of my breeches; so I damned the girl again, and then my coat,-and then my breeches,and then all three together, when I was able to put on my clothes to my satisfaction. Having finished my toilette, and worked myself into a very becoming rage, I rushed down stairs to the bar-room. "Where is the girl?" "The girl, sir?" answered the frightened landlord. Yes, damn it-the girl! Where has she gone to?" 66 "What girl, sir?" "The girl that came with me, you scoundrel!" "O, your wife, sir, you mean!" “Dn! Yes, my wife! my any thing! Where is she, I ask you ?" "Gone off with the coachman, sir." "O Lord, sir! I thought the gentleman knew, and so "And so, jackass! rascal!-What do you pretend to keep a house for, if you havn't your eyes about you?-How long since they left? Speak! quick! or I'll"Good five hours, sir." "Five devils! five thousand devils!-Confound you all for a set of pickpockets! I'll have you all strung up—— five hours! O, what an ass!" The man stared; and his wife stared; and the barmaid stared; and the stable-boy stared;-for they had all |