know me, to appear in print. I have indeed met with fome fuccefs in the projects I have communicated to fome sparks with whom I am intimate; and I cannot without a fecret triumph confefs, that the fleeves turned up with green velvet, which now flourish throughout the univerfity, fprung originally from my invention.

As it is neceffary to have the head clear, as well as the complexion, to be perfect in this part of learning, I rarely mingle with the men, (for I abhor wine) but frequent the tea-tables of the ladies. I know every part of their drefs, and can name all their things by their names. I am confulted about every ornament they buy; and, I fpeak it without vanity, have a very pretty fancy to knots and the like. Sometimes I take a needle, and fpot a piece of muflin for pretty Patty Crofs-ftitch, who is my prefent favourite, which, fhe fays, I do neatly enough; or read one of your papers, and explain the motto, which they all like mightily. But then I am a fort of petty tyrant amongst them; for I own I have my humours. If any thing be amifs, they are fure Mr. Sleek will find fault; if any hoity-toity things make a fufs, they are fure to be taken to pieces the next vifit. I am the dread of poor Celia, whofe wrapping-grown is not right India; and am avoided by Thalaftris in her fecond-hand mantua, which feveral masters of arts think very fine, whereas I perceived it had been fcoured with half an eye.

Thus have Í endeavoured to improve my understanding, and am defirous to communicate my innocent discoveries to those who, like me, may diftinguish themselves more to advantage by their bodies than their minds. I do not think the pains I have taken, in thefe my ftudies, thrown away, fince by thefe mears, though I am not very valuable, I am however not difagreeable. Would gentlemen but reflect upon what I fay, they would take care to make the belt of themselves; for I think it intolerable that a blockhead should be a floven. Though every man cannot fill his head

with learning, it is in any one's power to wear a pretty periwig; let him who cannot fay a witty thing, keep his teeth white at leaft; he who hath no knack at writing fonnets, may however have a foft hand; and he may arch his eyebrows, who hath not strength of genius for the mathematics.

After the conclufion of the peace we fhall undoubtedly have new fashions from France; and I have some reason to think that fome particularities in the garb of their Abbés may be tranfplanted hither to advantage. What I find be coming in their drefs, I hope I may, without the imputation of being popishly inclined, adopt into our habits; but would willingly have the authority of the Guardian to countenance me in this harmlefs defign. I would not hereby affume to myfelf a jurifdiction over any of our youth, but fuch as are incapable of improvement any other way. As for the aukward creatures that miną their ftudies, I look upon them as irreclaimable. But over the afore-mentioned order of mer, I defire a commiffion from you to exercife full authority, Hereby I fhall be enabled from time to time to introduce feveral pretty oddnefles in the taking and tucking up of gowns, to regulate the dimenfions of wigs, to vary the tufts upon caps, and to enlarge or narrow the hems of bands, as Ifhall think mott for the public good.

I have prepared a treatise against the Cravat and Berdafh, which I am told is not ill done; and have thrown together fome hally obfervations upon stockings, which my friends aflure me I need not be ashamed of. But I fhall not offer them to the public, until they are approved of at our female club; which I am the more willing to do, because I am fure of their praife; for they own I understand these things better than they do. I fhall herein be very proud of your encouragement; for, next to keeping the university clean, my greatest ambition is to be thought, Sir,

Your most obedient, humble fervant, SIMON SLEEK.

———————HUC PROPIUS ME,

HOR. SAT. 3. L. 2. v. 80.

HERE is an oblique way of re

fharpness of it; and an addrefs in flattery, which makes it agreeable though never fo grofs: but of all flatterers, the moft skilful is he who can do what you like, without faying any thing which argues he does it for your fake; the moft winning circumftance in the world being the conformity of manners. I fpeak of this as a practice neceffary in gaining people of fenfe, who are not yet given up to felf-conceit; thofe who are far gone in admiration of themselves need not be treated with fo much delicacy. The following letter puts this matter in a pleasant and uncommon light: the author of it attacks this vice with an air of compliance, and alarms us against it by exhorting us to it.

SIR,

TO THE GUARDIAN,

AS you profefs to encourage all those

who any way contribute to the public good, I flatter myfelf I may claim your countenance and protection. I am by profeffion a mad doctor, but of a peculiar kind, not of those whofe aim it is to remove phrenzies, but one who make it my bufinefs to confer an agreeable madnefs on my fellow-creatures, for their mutual delight and benefit. Since it is agreed by the philofophers, that happiness and mifery confift chiefly in the imagination, nothing is more neceflary to mankind in general than this pleafing delirium, which renders every one fatisfied with himself, and perfuades him that all others are equally fo,

I have for feveral years, both at home and abroad, made this fcience my particular ftudy, which I may venture to fay I have improved in almost all the courts of Europe; and have reduced it into fo fafe and eafy a method, as to matife it on both fexes, of what dif

on, age or quality foever, with fuc

cefs. What enables me to perform this great work, is the ufe of my Obfequium Catholicon, or the Grand Elixir to lupport the fpirits of human nature. This remedy is of the most grateful flavour in the world, and agrees with all taftes whatever. It is delicate to the fenfes, delightful to the operation, may be taken at all hours without confinement, and is as properly given at a ball or playhoufe as in a private chamber. It reftores and vivifies the moft dejected minds, corrects and extracts all that is painful in the knowledge of a man's felf. One dofe of it will instantly difperfe itfelf through the whole animal fyftem, diffipate the first motions of diftruft fo as never to return, and fo exhilarate the brain and rarify the gloom of reflection, as to give the patients a new flow of fpirits, a vivacity of behaviour, and 1 pleafing dependence upon their own capacit es:

Let a perfon be ever fo far gone, I advise him not to defpair; even though he has been troubled many years with reftlefs reflections, which by long neg lect have hardened into settled confideration. Thofe that have been stung with fatire may here find a certain antidute, which infallibly difperfes all the remains of poifon that has been left in the understanding by bad cures. It fortifies the heart against the rancour of pamphlets, the inveteracy of epigrams, and the mortification of lampoons; as has been often experienced by feveral perfons of both fexes, during the feafens of Tunbridge and the Bath.

I could, as farther inftances of my fuccefs, produce certificates and teftimonials from the favourites and ghostly fathers of the moft eminent princes of Europe; but fhall content myself with the mention of a few cures, which I have performed by this my Grand Univerfal Reftorative, during the practice of one month only fince I came to this city.

CURBS

HOR. Ep. 1. L. 2. v. 84.

WHE

WHEN a poem makes it's first appearance in the world, I have always obferved, that it gives employment to a greater number of critics than any other kind of writing. Whether it be that most men, at fome time of their lives, have tried their talent that way, and thereby think they have a right to judge; or whether they imagine, that their making fhrewd obfervations upon the polite arts, gives them a pretty figure; or whether there may not be fome jealoufy and caution in bestowing applaufe upon thofe who write chiefly for fame: whatever the reafons be, we find few difcouraged by the delicacy and dangerof fuch an undertaking.

I think it certain, that most men are naturally not only capable of being pleafed with that which raises agreeable pictures in the fancy, but willing alfo to own it. But then there are many, who, by falfe applications of fome rules ill understood, or out of deference to men whofe opinions they value, have formed to themfelves certain fchemes and fyftems of fatisfaction, and will not be pleafed out of their own way. Thefe are no critics themselves, but readers of critics, who, without the labour of perufing authors, are able to give their characters in general; and know just as much of the feveral fpecies of poetry, as those who read books of geography do of the genius of this or that people or nation. Thefe gentlemen deliver their opinions fententiously, and in general terms; to which it being impoffible readily to frame complete anfwers, they have often the fatisfaction of leaving the board in triumph. As young perfons, and particularly the ladies, are liable to be led afide by thefe tyrants in wit, I fhall examine two or three of the many ftratagems they use, and fubjoin fuch precautions as may hinder candid readers from being deceived thereby..

Port.

The firft I fhall take notice of is an objection commonly offered, viz. 'That fuch a poem hath indeed fome good lines in it, but it is not a regular piece. This, for the most part, is urged by thofe whofe knowledge is drawn from fome famous French critics, who have written upon the epic poem, the drama, and the great kinds of poetry, which cannot fubfift without great regularity; but ought by no means to be required in odes, epiftles, panegyrics, and the like, which naturally admit of greater liberties. The enthusiasm in odes, and the freedom of epiftles, is rarely difputed: but I have often heard the poems upon public occafions written in heroic verfe, which I chufe to call panegyrics, feverely cenfured upon this account; the reafon whereof Î cannot guefs, unless it be, that because they are written in the fame kind of numbers and fpirit as an epic poem, they ought therefore to have the fame regularity. Now an epic poem confifting chiefly in narration, it is neceflary that the inci dents fhould be related in the fame order that they are fuppofed to have been tranfa&ted. But in works of the abovementioned kind, there is no more reason that fuch order fhould be observed, than that an oration fhould be as methodical as an history. I think it sufficient that the great hints, fuggefted from the fubject, be fo difpofed, that the firft may naturally prepare the reader for what follows, and fo on; and that their places cannot be changed without difadvantage to the whole. I will add further, that fometimes gentle deviations, fometimes bold and even abrupt digreffions, where the dignity of the fubject feems to give the impulfe, are proofs of a noble genius; as winding about and returning artfully to the main defign, are marks of addrefs and dexterity.

Another artifice made ufe of by pre

tenders

tenders to criticism, is an infinuation, that all that is good is borrowed from the ancients. This is very common in the mouths of pedants, and perhaps in their hearts too; but is often urged by men of no great learning, for reafons very obvious. Now nature being ftill the fame, it is impoffible for any modern writer to paint her otherwife than the ancients have done. If, for example, I was to defcribe the general's horfe at the battle of Blenheim as my fancy reprefented fuch a noble beast, and that defcription fhould refemble what Virgil hath drawn for the horfe of his hero, it would be almost as ill-natured to urge that I had ftolen my defcription from Virgil, as to reproach the Duke of Marlborough for fighting only like Æneas. All that the most exquifite judgment can perform is, out of that great variety of circumstances, wherein natural objects may be confidered, to felect the most beautiful; and to place images in fuch views and lights, as will affect the fancy after the most delightful manner. But over and above a juft painting of nature, a learned reader will find a new beauty fuperadded in a happy imitation of fome famous ancient, as it revives in his mind the pleasure he took in his firft reading fuch an author. Such copyings as these give that kind of double delight which we perceive when we look upon the children of a beautiful couple; where the eye is not more charmed by the fymmetry of the parts, than the mind by obferving the refemblance tranfmitted from parents to their offspring, and the mingled features of the father and mother. The phrafes of Holy Writ, and

allufions to feveral paffages in the infpired writings, (though not produced as proofs of doctrine) add majesty and authority to the noblest discourses of the pulpit: in like manner, an' imitation of the air of Homer and Virgil raies the dignity of modern poetry, and makes it appear stately and venerable.

The lait obfervation I fhall make at prefent is upon the difgust taken by thofe critics, who put on their cloaths prettily, and diflike every thing that is not written With Eafe. I hereby, therefore, give the genteel part of the learned world to understand, that every thought which is agreeable to nature, and expressed in language fuitable to it, is written with Eafe. There are fome things which must be written with ftrength, which nevertheless are easy. The statue of the gladiator, though reprefented in fuch a polture as trains every mufcle, is as eafy as that of Venus; because the one expreffes ftrength and fury as naturally as the other doth beauty and foftness. The paffions are fometimes to be routed, as well as the fancy to be entertained; and the foul to be exalted and enlarged, as well as foothed. This often requires a raifed figurative ftyle; which readers of low apprehenfions, or foft and languid difpofitions, (having heard of the words Fuftian and Bombaft) are apt to reject as ftiff and affected language. But nature and reafon appoint different garbs for different things; and fince I write this to the men of drefs, I will afk them, if a foldier, who is to mount a breach, fhould be adorned like a beau, who is fpruced up for a ball?

TER. ADELPH. ACT I. Sc. I.

TH

"HE reader has had fome account of the whole family of the Lizards, except the younger fons. These are the branches which ordinarily fpread themfelves, when they happen to be hopeful, into other houfes, and new generations, as honourable, numerous, and wealthy, as those from whence they are derived.

For this reafon it is that a very peculiar regard is to be had to their education.

Young men, when they are good for any thing, and left to their own inclinations, delight either in thofe accomplishments we call their exercife, in the sports of the field, or in letters. Mr. Thomas, the fecond fon, does not follow any of

E

thefe