I think I can hardly be more unhappy by following inclination, than I am by denying it?

Thus had my frail thoughts wandered into a wildernefs of error, and thus had I almost reasoned myself out of every principle of morality, by pursuing through all their confequences the doctrines which had been taught me as rules of life and prescriptions for felicity, the talifmans of truth, by which I fhould be fecured in the ftorms of adverfity, and liften without danger to the fyrens of temptation: when in the fatal hour of my prefumption, fitting alone in my chamber, collecting arguments on the fide of paffion, almoft diftracted with. doubts, and plunging deeper and deeper into falfehood, I faw Sir George Freelove at my feet, who had gained admittance, contrary to my orders, by corrupting my landlady. It is not neceffary to describe to you his arts, or the weak efforts of that virtue which had been graciously implanted in my heart, but which I had taken impious pains to undermine by falfe reafoning, and which now tottered from the foundation: fuffice it that I fubmitted to the humiliation I have fo well deferved, and tell you, that, in all the pride of human reason, I dared to condemn, as the effect of weakness and prejudice, the still voice of confcience which would yet have warned me from ruin; that my innocence, my honour,. was the facrifice to paffion and fophiftry; that my boasted philofophy, and too much flattered understanding, preferved me not from the loweft depth of infamy,, which the weakest of my sex with humility and religion would have avoided.

I now experienced a new kind of wretchedness. My vile feducer tried in vain to reconcile me to the shameful life to which he had reduced me, by loading me MARILLAC COLLEGE LIBRARY

NORMANDY, MO.

with

with finery, and lavishing his fortune in procuring me pleasures which I could not tafte, and pomp which feemed an infult on my difgrace. In vain did I recollect the arguments which had convinced me of the lawfulness of accepting offered pleasures, and following the dictates of inclination: the light of my understanding was darkened, but the fenfe of guilt was not loft. My pride and my delicacy, if, criminal as I was, I may dare to call it fo, fuffered the most intolerable mortification and disguft, every time I reflected on my infamous fituation. Every eye feemed to upbraid me, even that of my triumphant feducer. O depth of mifery! to be confcious of deferving the contempt of him I loved, and for whofe fake I was become contemptible: to myself.

No. LXXIX. Tuesday, Auguft 7. 1753.

Quifquam igitur leber ? Sapiens : fibi qui imperiofus ; Quem neque pauperies, neque mors, neque vincula ter»

rent:

Refponfare cupidinibus, contemnere honores

Fortis et in feipfo totus: teres atque rotundus,
Externi ne quid valeat per læve morari..

HOR.

Who then is free?-The wife, who well maintains
An empire o'er himself: whom neither chains,
Nor want, nor death, with flavish fear inspire;
Who boldly answers to his warm defire;
Who can ambition's vaineft gifts defpife;
Firm in himself who on himself relies;
Polish'd and round, who runs his proper course,,
And breaks misfortune with fuperior force.

THIS

FRANCIS.

HIS was the ftate of my mind during a year which I paffed in Sir George's houfe. His fondness was unabated for eight months of the time; and as I had no other objects to share my attention, neither friend nor relation to call off any part of my tenderness, all the love of a heart naturally affectionate centered in him. The first dawnings of unkindness were but too vifible to

my

darkness. Yet why do I fay, that I have no profpect of happiness? Does not the most engaging of men offer me all the joys that love and fortune can bestow? Will not he protect me from every infult of the proud world that fcoffs at indigence? Will not his liberal hand pour forth the means of every pleasure, even of that highest and truest of all pleasures, the power of relieving the fufferings of my fellow-creatures, of changing the tears of distress into tears of joy and gratitude, of communicating my own happiness to all around me? Is not this a ftate far preferable to that in which virtue has placed me? But what is virtue? Is not happiness the laudable pursuit of reason? Is it not then laudable to pursue it by the most probable means? Have I not been accufing Providence of unkindness, whilft I myself only am in fault for rejecting its offered favours? Surely, I have miftaken the path of virtue: it must be that which leads to happiness. The path which I am in, is full of thorns and briers, and terminates in impenetrable darknefs: but I fee another that is ftrewed with flowers, and bright with the funshine of profperity; this, furely, is the path of virtue, and the road to happiness. ther then let me turn my weary steps, nor let vain and idle prejudices fright me from felicity. It is furely impoffible that I fhould offend God, by yielding to a temptation which he has given me no motive to resist. He has allotted me a fhort and precarious existence, and has placed before me good and evil.-What is good but pleafure? What is evil but pain? Reason and nature direct me to choose the first, and avoid the last. I fought for happinefs in what is called virtue, but I found it not: fhall I not try the other experiment, fince

Hi

I think I can hardly be more unhappy by following inclination, than I am by denying it?

Thus had my frail thoughts wandered into a wildernefs of error, and thus had I almost reasoned myself out of every principle of morality, by purfuing through all their confequences the doctrines which had been taught me as rules of life and prescriptions for felicity, the talifmans of truth, by which I fhould be fecured in the forms of adverfity, and listen without danger to the fyrens of temptation: when in the fatal hour of my prefumption, fitting alone in my chamber, collecting arguments on the fide of passion, almost distracted with. doubts, and plunging deeper and deeper into falfehood, I faw Sir George Freelove at my feet, who had gained admittance, contrary to my orders, by corrupting my landlady. It is not neceffary to describe to you his arts, or the weak efforts of that virtue which had been graciously implanted in my heart, but which I had taken impious pains to undermine by false reasoning, and which now tottered from the foundation: fuffice it that I fubmitted to the humiliation I have fo well deferved, and tell you, that, in all the pride of human reason, I dared to condemn, as the effect of weakness and prejudice, the ftill voice of confcience which would yet have warned me from ruin; that my innocence, my honour, was the facrifice to paffion and fophiftry; that my boasted philofophy, and too much flattered understanding, preferved me not from the loweft depth of infamy,, which the weakest of my fex with humility and religion would have avoided.

I now experienced a new kind of wretchedness. My vile feducer tried in vain to reconcile me to the shameful life to which he had reduced me, by loading me MARILLAC COLLEGE LIBRARY with NORMANDY, MO.