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SMI. How, Sir ? whether you would or no ?

BAYES. Ay, Sir; the Plot lay so that, I vow to gad, it was not to be avoided.

Smi. Marry, that was hard.
JOHNS. But, pray, who hinder'd her?

BAYES. Why, the battel, Sir, that's just coming in at door. And I'l tell you now a strange thing: though I don't pretend to do more than other men, I gad, I'l give you both a whole week to ghess how I'í represent this Battel.

SMI. I had rather be bound to fight your Battel, Sir,

I assure you.

BAYES. Why, there's it now : fight a Battel? there's the common error. I knew presently where I should have you. Why, pray, Sir, do but tell me this one thing, Can you think it a decent thing, in a battel before Ladies, to have men run their Swords through one another, and all that?

JOHNS. No, faith, 'tis not civil.

BAYES. On the other side ; to have a long relation of Squadrons here, and Squadrons there : what is that but a dull prolixity ?

JOHNS. Excellently reason'd, by my troth !

Bayes. Wherefore, Sir, to avoid both those Indecorums, I sum up my whole battel in the representation of two persons only, no more : and yet so lively, that, I vow to gad, you would swear ten thousand men were at it, really engag'd. Do you mark me?

SMI. Yes, Sir; but I think I should hardly swear, though, for all that.

BAYES. By my troth, Sir, but you would, though, when you see it: for I make 'em both come out in Armor, Cap-a-pea, with their Swords drawn, and hung, with a scarlet Ribbon at their wrists, (which, you know, represents fighting enough) each of 'em holding a Lute in his hand. Smi. How, Sir, instead of a Buckler ?

BAYES. O Lord, O Lord I instead of a Buckler ? Pray, Sir, do you ask no more questions. I make 'em,


(a) Arm, Arm, Villerius, Arm! Sir W. D'AVENANT. Siege of Rhodes. The first Entry.' p. 3.

Ed. 1656.

(6) 'The Third Entry' thus begins.

Enter Solyman, Pirrhus, Mustapha.
Solym. Pirrhus. Draw up our Army wide !
Then, from the Gross two strong Reserves divide ;

And spread the wings;
As if we were to fight
In the loft Rhodians sight

With all the Western Kings !
Each Wing with Fanizaries line ;
The Right and Left to Hally's Sons afligne;
The Grofs to Zangiban.

The Main Artillery

With Muftapha shall be :
Bring thou the Rear, We lead the Van.

Idem, p. 14.

(c) At the beginning of 'The fifth Entry' is,
Musta. Point well the Cannon, and play fast !

Their fury is too hot to last.
That Rampire shakes ! they fly into the Town !
Pirrh. March up with those Reserves to that Redout,

Faint Slaves ! the Fanizaries reel !
They bend, they bend ! and seem to feel

The terrors of a Rout.
Musta. Old Zanger halts, and reinforcement lacks !
Pirrh. March on.
Musta. "Advance those Pikes, and charge their Backs.

Idem, p. 30.

Sir, play the battel in Recitativo. And here's the conceipt. Just at the very fame instant that one sings, the other, Sir, recovers you his Sword, and puts himself in a warlike posture : so that you have at once your ear entertain’d with Musick, and good Language, and your eye satisfi'd with the garb, and accoutrements of war.

Is not that well ?
JOHNS. I, what would you have more? he were a
Devil that would not be satisfi'd with that.

Smi. I confess, Sir, you stupifie me.
BAYES. You shall see.

JOHNs. But, Mr. Bayes, might not we have a little fighting for I love those Plays, where they cut and Nash one another, upon the Stage, for a whole hour together.

BAYES. Why, then, to tell you true, I have contriv'd it both


shall have

my Recitativo first. Enter, at feveral doors, the General, and Lieutenant General, arm'd Cap-a-pea, with each of them a Lute

in his hand, and his sword drawn, and

hung, with a scarlet Ribbon at his wris. Lieut. Gen. Villain, thou lyeft. 'Gen. Arm, arm, Gonfalvo, arm; what ho?

The lye no flesh can brook, I trow. Lieut. Gen. Advance, from Acton, with the Muf

quetiers. Gen. Draw down the Chelsey Curiasiers, Lieut. Gen. The Band you boast of, Chelsey Curiafiers,

Shall, in my Putney Pikes, now meet their peers. Gen. Chiswickians, aged, and renown'd in fight,

Joyn with the Hammersmith Brigade. Lieut. Gen. You'l find my Mortlake Boys will do

them right, Unless by Fulham numbers over-laid. Gen. Let the left-wing of Twick'nam foot advance

And line that Eastern hedge.

Lieut. Gen. The Horse I rais'd in Petty-France . I

Shall try their chance.
And scowr the Medows, over-grown with Sedge.
Gen. Stand : give the word.
Lieut. Gen. Bright Sword.
Gen. That may be thine.

But 'tis not mine.
Lieut. Gen. Give fire, give fire, at once give fire,

And let those recreant Troops perceive mine ire.
Gen. Pursue, pursue ; they fly
That first did give the lye.

[Exeunt. BAYES. This, now, is not improper, I think, because the Spectators know all these Towns, and may easily conceive them to be within the Dominions of the two Kings of Brentford.

JOHNs. Most exceeding well design'd !

BAYES. How do you think I have contriv'd to give a stop to this battel

SMI. How?

BAYES. By an Eclipse: Which, let me tell you, is a kind of fancie that was yet never so much as thought of, but by my self, and one person more, that shall be nameless. Come, come in, Mr.


Enter Lieutenant General.

Lieut. Gen. What mid-night darkness does invade

the day,
And snatch the Victor from his conquer'd prey ?
Is the Sun weary of his bloudy fight,
And winks upon us with his eye of light?
'Tis an Eclipse. This was unkind, O Moon,
To clap between me, and the Sun so soon.
Foolish Eclipse! thou this in vain hast done;
My brighter honour had Eclips'd the Sun.

But now behold Eclipses two in one, [Exit. Johns. This is an admirable representation of a Battel, as ever I saw.

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