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more; but I defie all your Histories, and your Romances too, I gad, to thew me one such Conqueror, as this Drawcanfir.
JOHNs. I swear, I think you may.
SMI. But, Mr. Bayes, how shall all these dead men go off? for I see none alive to help 'em. BAYES. Go off! why, as they came on; upon
their legs : how should they go off? Why, do you think the people do not know they are not dead? He is mighty ignorant, poor man; your friend here is very silly, Mr. Fohnson, I gad, he is. Come, Sir, I'l show you go off. Rise, Sirs, and go about your business. There's go off for you. Hark you, Mr. Ivory. Gentlemen, I'l be with you presently.
[Exit. JOHNS. Will you so ? then we'l be gone.
SMI. I, pr’ythee let's go, that we may preserve our hearing. One Battel more would take mine quite away.
[Exeunt. Enter BAYES and Players. BAYES. Where are the Gentlemen ? 1 Play. They are gone, Sir.
BAYES. Gone ! 'Sdeath, this last Act is best of all. I'l go fetch 'em again.
[Exit. 3 Play. Stay, here's a foul piece of papyr of his. Let's see what 'tis.
[Reads. The Argument of the Fifth Act. Cloris, at length, being sensible of Prince Pretty. man's passion, consents to marry him; but, just as they are going to Church, Prince Pretty-man meeting, by chance, with old Foan the Chandlers widow, and remembring it was she that brought him acquainted with Cloris : out of a high point of honour, break off his match with Cloris, and marries old oan. Upon which, Cloris, in despair, drowns herself: and Prince Fretty-man, discontentedly, walks by the River side.
i Play. Pox on't, this will never do: 'tis just like the rest. Come, let's be gone.
About the time of the Restoration and for some years after the fashionable hour of dining was twelve o'clock, and the play began at three.
Bp. Percy. At the end of Sir W. D'AVENANT'S “ The Cruelty of the Spaniards in Peru. Exprest by Instrumentall and Vocall Mufick, and by Art of Perspective in Scenes, &c. Represented daily at the Cockpit in Drury-Lane, At Three afternoone punctually" London 1658: is the following notice :
Notwithstanding the great expence necessary to Scenes, and other ornaments in this Entertainment, there is a good provision made of places for a shilling. And it shall begin certainly at 3 after noon.'
The Rehearsal is therefore supposed to take place in the morning.
BAYES. A plague on 'em both for me; they have made me sweat, to run after 'em. A couple of senceless rascals, that had rather go to dinner, than see this Play out, with a pox to 'em. What comfort has a man to write for such dull rogues? Come Mr. Where are you, Sir? come away quick, quick.
Enter Players again. Play. Sir, they are gone to dinner.
BAYES. Yes, I know the Gentlemen are gone; but I ask for the Players.
Play. Why, an't please your worship, Sir, the Players are gone to dinner too.
BAYES. How! are the Players gone to Dinner? 'Tis impoffible: the Players gone to dinner! I gad, if they are, I'l make 'em know what it is to injure a person that does 'em the honour to write for 'em, and all that. A company of proud, conceited, humorous, cross-grain'd persons, and all that. I gad, Í'l make 'em the most contemptible, despicable, inconsiderable persons, and all that, in the whole world, for this trick. I gad, I'l be reveng'd on 'em; I'I sell this Play to the other House.
Play. Nay, good, Sir, don't take away the Book ; you'l disappoint the Town, that comes to see it acted here, this afternoon.
BAYES. That's all one. I must reserve this comfort to my self, my Book and I will go together, we will not part, indeed, Sir. The Town ! why, what care I for the Town? I gad, the Town has us'd me as scurvily, as the Players have done : but I'l be reveng’d on them too : I will both Lampoon and print 'em too, I gad. Since they will not admit of my Plays, they shall know what a Satyrist I am. And so farewel to this Stage for ever, I gad.
. i Play. What shall we do now?
2 Play. Come then, let's set up Bills for another Play : We shall lose nothing by this, I warrant you.
i Play. I am of your opinion. But, before we go, let's fee Haynes, and Shirley practise the last Dance; for that may serve for another Play.
2 Play. I'l call 'em : I think they are in the Tyringroom.
The Dance done. i Play. Come, come; let's go away to dinner.