and two stories high; containing a front parlor and kitchen on the basement, two small rooms on the first, and two on the second floor. Nothing could be better arranged for a widow's residence. Moreover, she had a back-yard running the whole length of the wall of the Lust Haus in he rear, with convenient offices, and a back-door into the street behind.

bones were also left on board; for Mr. Van- describe that portion of her tenements more slyperken knew that it had been decided particularly by-and-by; at present, we must that Smallbones alone could and should de- advert to her own private house, which stood stroy the dog. He could not, therefore, leave adjoining; and had a communication with the dog on board with safety; and, as for tak- the Lust Haus by a private door through the ing him on shore with him, in that there was party wall. This was a very small, snug litmuch danger, for the widow Vandersloosh tle habitation, with one window in each front, had set her face against the dog. No wonder; he had behaved in her parlor as bad as the dog Crab in the Two Gentlemen of Verona. And the Frau was a very clean person, and had no fancy for dogs' comparing their legs with those of her polished mahogany chairs and tables. If Mr. Vanslyperken's suit was to be decided according to the old adage, "love me, love my dog," he certainly had but a poor chance, for the widow detested the Mr. Vanslyperken had arrived, paid his cur, and had insisted that it should never be humble devoirs to the widow, more humble, brought into her house. Take the dog on because he was evidently pleased with his shore, therefore, he could not; but, thought own person, and had been followed by SmallMr. Vanslyperken, I can take Smallbones on bones, who laid the biscuit by the scraper at shore, that will do as well. I have some bis- the door, watching it as in duty bound. The cuit to dispose of, and he shall go with it and lieutenant imagined that he was more grawait till I come off again. Small bones was, ciously received than usual. Perhaps he therefore, ordered to put on his hat and step was, for the widow had not had so much cusinto the boat with two half bags of biscuit to tom lately, and was glad the crew of the cutcarry up to the widow's house, for she did a ter were arrived to spend their money. Allittle business with Mr. Vansly perken, as well ready had Vanslyperken removed his sword as allowing him to make love to her; and was and belt, and laid them with his three-cornernever so sweet or so gracious, as when closed laced hat on the side-table; he was already ing a bargain. So Mr. Vansly perken waited cosily, as of wont, seated upon the widow's for Smallbones, who was soon ready, for his little fubsy sofa, with the lady by his side, best consisted only in a pair of shoes to his and he had just taken her hand, and was usually naked feet, and a hat for his general-about to renew his suit, to pour forth the imly uncovered head. And Mr. Vanslyperken, promptu effusions of his heart, concocted on and Smallbones, and the biscuit, were in the the quarter-deck of the Yungfrau, when who boat, when Snarleyyow intimated his inten- should bolt into the parlor but the unwelcome tion to join the party; but this was refused, Snarleyyow. and the boat shoved off without him.

As soon as Mr. Vanslyperken had shoved off, Dick Short, being in command, thought he might as well give himself leave, and go on shore also. So he went down, put on his best, and ordered the other boat to be manned, and leaving Obadiah Coble on board as the next officer, he took with him Jansen, Jemmy Ducks, and four or five others, to have a cruise. Now, as Snarleyyow had this time made up his mind that he would go on shore, and Short was willing to indulge him, for he knew that Smallbones, if he fell in with him, would do his best to launch him into one of the canals, so convenient in every street, the cur was permitted to get into the boat, and was landed with the rest of the party, who, as usual, repaired to the Lust Haus of the widow Vansdersloosh; where we must leave them for the present, and return to our friend, Mr. Vanslyperken.

CHAPTER VIII.

"O that nasty beast! Mynheer Vanslyperken, how dare you bring him into my house?" cried the widow, jumping up from the sofa, with her full-moon face red with anger.

"Indeed, widow," replied Vanslyperken, "I left him on board, knowing that you were not fond of animals, but some one has brought him on shore. However, I'll find out who it was, and keelhaul him in honor of your charms."

"I am fond of animals, Mr. Vanslyperken, but I am not fond of such animals as thatsuch a filthy, ugly, disagreeable, snarling brute; nor can I think how you can keep him after what I have said about it. It don't prove much regard, Mr. Vanslyperken, when such a dog as that is kept on purpose to annoy me."

"I assure you, widow—"

"Don't assure me, Mr. Vanslyperken, there's no occasion-your dog is your ownbut I'll thank you to take him out of this house; and perhaps as he don't go without you, you had better go with him.”

Now the widow had never spoken so indig

In which the Widow lays a trap for Mr. Vansly-nantly before; if the reader wishes to know perken, and Smallbones lays a trap for Snarleyyow, and both bag their game.

The Widow Vandersloosh, as we have informed the reader, was the owner of a Lust Haus, or pleasure-house for sailors; we will

why she did so now, we will acquaint him; the Widow Vandersloosh had perceived Smallbones, who sat like Patience on a monument, upon the two half bags of biscuit before her porch. It was a query to the widow whether they were to be a present, or an article to be

:

bargained for it was therefore very advis-original invention of some thrifty spinster, to able to pick a quarrel, that the matter might prevent the maids from stealing eggs. But be cleared. The widow's ruse met with all this hatch was closed, or Snarleyyow would the success which it deserved. In the first have escaped through it. Smallbones took up place, Mr. Vanslyperken did what he never his quarters in another out-house, that he would have believed himself capable of, but might not be observed, and commenced his the wrath of the widow had worked him up to operations. wrath, and he saluted Sharleyyow with such He first took out the bottom of one bread a kick on the side, as to send him howling in- bag, and then sewed that on the other to make to the back yard, followed him out, and, not- it longer; he then ran a string through the withstanding an attempt at defence on the mouth, so as to draw it close when necessary, part of the dog, which the lieutenant's high and cut his sticks so as to support it and keep boots rendered harmless, Snarleyyow was it open. All this being arranged, he went to fairly, or unfairly as you may please to think where Snarleyyow was busy gnawing wood it, kicked into an outhouse, the door shut, and with great pertinacity, and allowed him not the key turned upon him. After which Mr. only to smell, but to tear off the tail of the Vansly perken returned to the parlor, where he found the widow, erect, with her back turned to the stove, blowing and bristling, her bosom heaving, reminding you of seas mountains high, as if she were still under the effects of a just resentment for the affront offered to her. There she stood, waiting in all dignity for Mr. Vanslyperken to repair the injury done, whether unintentional or not. In few words, there she waited for the biscuit to be presented to her. And it was presented, for Vanslyperken knew no other way of appeasing her wrath. Gradually the storm was allayed-the flush of anger disappeared, the corners of the scornfully-turned down mouth, were turned up again-Cupid's bow was no longer bent in anger, and the widow's bosom slept as when the ocean sleeps, like "an unweaned child." The biscuit bags were brought in by Smallbones, their contents stored, and harmony restored. Once more was Mr. Vanslyperken upon the little sofa by the side of the fat widow, and once more did he take her melting hand. Alas! that her heart was not made of the same soft materials.

But we must not only leave Short and his companions in the Lust Haus, but the widow and the lieutenant in their soft dalliance, and now occupy ourselves with the two principal personages of this our drama, Smallbones and Snarleyyow.

When Smallbones had retired, with the empty bread bags under his arm, he remained some time reflecting at the porch, and then having apparently made up his mind, he walked to a chandler's shop just over the bridge of the canal opposite, and purchased a needle, some strong twine, and a red herring. He also procured, "without purchase," as they say in our War Office Gazettes, a few pieces of stick. Having obtained all these, he went round to the door of the yard behind the widow's house, and let himself in. Little did Mr. Vanslyperken imagine what mischief was brewing, while he was praising and drinking the beer of the widow's own brewing.

Smallbones had no difficulty in finding out where Snarleyyow was confined, for the dog was very busy gnawing his way through the door, which, however, was a work of time, and not yet a quarter accomplished. The place had been a fowl-house, and, at the bottom of the door, there was a small hatch for the ingress and egress of these bipeds, the

red herring, under the door; and then gradually drew the herring along until he had brought it right under the hatch in the middle, which left it at the precise distance that the dog could snuff it but not reach it, which Snarleyyow now did, in preferrence to gnawing wood. When you lay a trap, much depends upon the bait; Smallbones knew his enemy's partiality for savoury comestibles. He then brought out his bag, set up his supporters, fixed it close to the hatch, and put the red herring inside of it. With the string in one hand, he lifted up the hatch with the other. Snarleyyow rushed out and and rushed in, and in a moment the strings were drawn, and as soon as drawn were tied tight round the mouth of the bag. Snarleyyow was caught; he tumbled over and over, rolling now to the right and now to the left, while Smallbones grinned with delight. After amusing himself a short time with the evolutions of his prisoner, he dragged him in his bag to the out-house where he had made his trap, shut the door, and left him. The next object was to remove any suspicion on the part of Mr. Vanslyperken; and to effect this, Smallbones tore off the hatch and broke it in two or three pieces, bit parts of it with his own teeth, and said them down before the door, making it appear as if the dog had gnawed his own way out. The reason for allowing the dog still to remain in prison, was that Smallbones dared not attempt any thing further until it was dark, and there was yet an hour or more to wait for the close of the day.

Smallbones had but just finished his work in time; for the widow having been summoned to her guests in the Lust Haus, had left Vanslyperken alone, and the lieutenant thought this a good opportunity to look after his four-footed favorite. He came out into the yard, where he found Smallbones, and he had his misgivings.

"What are you doing here, sir?"

"Waiting for you, sir," replied Smallbones, humbly.

"And the dog?" said Vanslyperken, observing the strewed fragments of the door hatch.

"He's a-bitten himself out, sir, I believe." "And where is he then ?"

"I don't know, sir; I suppose he's gone down to the boat.'

Snarley yow hearing his master's voice,

had commenced a whine, and Smallbones trembled: fortunately, at that moment, the TRAITE DE POLITIQUE A L'USAGE widow's ample form appeared at the backDE LISE.-1815. door of the house, and she called to Mr. Vanslyperken. The widow's voice drowned the whine of the dog, and his master did not hear it. At the summons, Vanslyperken but half convinced, but not daring to show interest about the animal in the presence of his mistress, returned to the parlor, and very soon the dog was forgotten.

any

LISE, qui regne par la grace
Du Dieu qui nous rend tous égaux,
Ta beauté, que rien ne surpasse,
Enchaine un peuple de rivaux.
Mais si grand que soit ton empire,
De tes erreurs permets de rire
Lise, tes amans sont Français,
Pour le bonheur de tes sujets,
Combien de belles et de princes
Aiment l'abus d'un grand pouvoir, &c. &c. &c.
Eliza, as a queen you reign,
A host of rivals in your train,
Live as your subjects, and obey
The charms by which you hold your sway.
But sovereign as your power may be,
We Frenchmen have the liberty

To lecture whom we please.
As such, we humbly beg that you
Will deign to take a hint or two;
The inuendos we may make
Our views are simply these,
Are offered for your subjects' sake.

But as the orgies in the Lust Haus increased, so did it become more necessary for the widow to make frequent visits there; not only to supply her customers, but to restrain them by her presence; and as the evening wore away, so did the absences of the widow become more frequent. This Vanslyperken well knew, and he therefore always pressed his suit in the afternoon, and as soon as it was dark returned on board. Smallbones, who watched at the back door the movements of his master, perceived that he was refixing his sword-belt over his shoulder, and he knew this to be the signal for departure. It was now quite dark, he therefore hastened to the outhouse, and dragged out Snarleyyow in the bag, swung him over his shoulder, and walked out of the yard door, proceeded to the canal in front of the widow's house, looked round him, could perceive nobody, and then dragged the bag with its contents into the stagnant water below, just as Mr. Van-A slyperken, who had bidden adieu to the widow, came out of the house. There was a heavy splash-and silence. Had such been heard on the shores of the Bosphorus on such a night, it would have told some tale of unhappy love and a husband's vengeance; at Amsterdam, it was nothing more than the drowning of a cur.

"Who's there-is it Smallbones ?" Mr. Vanslyperken.

but,

said

"Yes, sir," said Smallbones, with alarm. "What was that noise I heard?" "Noise, sir? Oh, I kicked a paving-stone into the canal."

"And don't you know there is a heavy fine for that, you scoundrel? And pray where are the bread bags?"

"The bread bags, sir? Oh, Mr. Short took them to tie up some vegetables in them." "Mr. Short! Oh, very well. Come along, sir, and no more throwing stones into the canal; why you might have killed somebody -there is a boat down there now, I hear the people talking." And Mr. Vanslyperken hastened to his boat, which was waiting for him; anxious to ascertain if Snarleyyow, as he fully expected, was in it. But to his grief and disappointment, he was not there, and Mr. Vanslyperken sat in the stern sheets, in no pleasant humor, thinking whether it was or was not a paving-stone which Smallbones had thrown into the canal, and resolving that if the dog did not appear, Smallbones should be keelhauled. There was, however, one more chance, the dog might have been taken on board.

(To be continued.)

How many belles as well as kings
Abuse the power dominion brings!
What lovers and what states there are,
The hapless victims of despair!
But then, my queen of love, do you
different policy pursue,

And tyranny abjure:
And mind, in case of a revolt,
Your boudoir doubly bar and bolt,
The state is there secure.
This hint we hope our queen will take,
We give it for her subjects' sake.

Women and kings are just the same,
Both conquer for the sake of fame;
Both far in search of victory stray,
And all they conquer must obey.
Oh! what coquettes these sovereigns are,
Do not, like them, attempt a war,

But prudently resign
Their "ruses de guerre" in every form,
Whether investment, siege, or storm,
The stratagem or mine,
Do not another conquest make:
Be quiet-for your subjects' sake.

We cannot easily define

If monarchs reign by right divine,
One point we readily can prove,
Eliza's throne is given by-Love:
Let others abdicate or reign,
Resign their sceptres or maintain,

As changes may arise;
One thing your subjects know as true,
The sceptre Love confers on you

All power of change defies;
That is, if our advice you take,
And wield it-for your subjects' sake.
Yet, if you wish to rule mankind,
Do bear this axiom in mind,
Live as a good princess, and see
Your subjects have their liberty;
And then shall love your crown compose,
And with his choicest flower,
The fairest, loveliest gem that grows

"Do draw the curtain; the sun burns out my eyes," said Theseus.

"This room is insufferably gloomy," said Lysander.

"The room would be well enough if the doors and windows were not so ill-placed and the ceiling so low," said Demetrius.

It was very clear that the three gentlemen were out of temper, and only agreeing in discontent. The slave at the door was heard speaking loudly.

"Who comes now, in the name of Dis?" said Lysander.

"How should I know?" said Demetrius. "If you two were not so fond of hearing your own tongues, you would desire Formio to let Nedar in.'

The old gentleman entered, looking peculiarly sagacious.

"The top of the morning to you," said Theseus, picking his teeth with his stylus. "How's Helena ?"

"Pray, Lysander, oblige me by minding your own business," said Demetrius.

Theseus looked at Lysander, and Lysander squinted at Theseus.

"Why does not one of you ask me the news?" said old Nedar.

"We always save ourselves so unnecessary a trouble."

"Wonder rather why nobody asks you to be silent."

"And thank the gods for our civility." "This is too bad, but I'll forgive you; indeed, you shall hear whether you wish it or not."

"Of course we shall." "Nedar's here."

"It concerns you all, and thee, my most exquisite Theseus, thrice nearly."

"I do not understand your measures, are we to be fined for pulling the janitor's robe over his ears the other night?"

"Or for pulling out the linch-pin of Phanion's chariot? Marry, if the fine be as light as her rep

"Hush! she's going to be married.”
The three young gentlemen opened their

"Now don't be so profane:-three bad omens for one day."

"One of them is worked out-you are here."

"But who is the happy Vulcan ?"

"Phalerius, the banker, who intends to invite all his wife's connections to the nuptial." "I hope, then, that he has engaged the Parthenon; half the male population of Athens will be there."

"Fie, fie!-it is said that she has confessed all her irregularities to him."

"What an instance of heroine-ism!"
"What an instance of impertinence !"
"What an instance of memory!"

"I declare I won't stay another moment: that is, after I've told you what I came to say."

"Well, out with it."

"You know, Theseus, my friend, that in your last Asiatic campaign you did not behave in the most proper way to a certain Egle."

"So she said."

"And she, being heiress apparent to the Amazonian throne, has been set aside by the unanimous voice-squall, I mean of the virtuous sisterhood, with the single chance of recovering her position by bringing yourself and your two good-for-nothing friends prisoners to the capital."

"Who is to succeed, then-her pretty sister, Hippolyta ?"

"No, her no less pretty sister, Phædra, I believe."

"Well, the crimson robe would become her white shoulders well enough; I won't help to defraud them. There's an estate I must look at in Campania, and perhaps you, gentlemen, will assist me with your advice in managing it."

66

Certainly, shall we start to-morrow ?” "You forget the race; Musca stands in my tablet for a hundred against Ickthus." "True; the day after."

"What will Vestalia say to our forgetting her symposiac a second time?"

"Ah! we must go there. Well, the third day?"

66

Thespis is to play, for one day only." "What's to be done?"

66

Pray, do not disturb yourselves: you have not heard the rest of the story. Hippolyta has espoused-"

"Whom for Jove's sake?" said Theseus, starting up.

"Her sister's cause, and the two have mustered an army for the purpose of captivating you-"

"She has done that already," said Demet

"Most generous Theseus, if she should, by Queen of the Amazons, as it is now to reany accident, strike you down, you will be ceive one from the majesty of more modern finding excuses for her, while her diamond-states. One bare and magnificent arm sup. headed axe is finding the crevices of your ported her head, the hand of the other rested helmet." upon the head of an enormous hound, whose ivory fangs seemed to guard the throne. Another dog of the same species lay near-behold a classical lion and unicorn. The Queens of Spain had no legs, such a dismemberment was not in vogue in Amazonia-for the state could not have had better ones to stand on than those which the brief robes of her majesty disclosed to the knee. A bow and arrows inclined upon the back of the couch, which was placed nearly in the centre of a handsome tent, gracing a plain about fifty modern miles from the city of Glaucopis. "Selina."

"Psha! have you any thing else to tell?" "Oh, ho! you always save yourself the unnecessary trouble of asking me questions. Well, Phædra has joined the army, in order to save appearances, and the three graces are in full march upon Athens. They despatched a handsome strapping courier, with a demand for the surrender of you three, last night, which courier despatched an unfortunate cobbler in the market-place, who was indiscreet enough to attempt a kiss.”

"She did quite right. But what's the plebeian to me? Why was I not informed of this-and what reply was sent ?"

"Don't put yourself in a passion. What was the use of sending to a man who passes half his life on his couch, and the rest in drinking?"

"You libellous

99

Pooh, we know. The government replied, with great intellect, and brilliant wit-that

guess

"That what, beast?"

"That-do you guess, Lysander?" 'Styx and Acheron, Nedar-I shall"Don't be in a passion-that they would consider of it."

"Plato seize their insolence! Consider of giving me up, I-who have-oh! may the bones of their fathers be spit upon."

66

Depend upon this, you'll all three be taken into custody."

They dare not."

"They dare-and here's the warrant— Servio, Milo."

A pretty waiting-maid appeared.
"Where is Hippolyta ?"

"Making the rounds, and setting the watch, your majesty."

a

"I shall be glad to see her, with Ægle." "I will seek her, your majesty." Then, in lower tone, as she departed. "As for Ægle, anybody who likes may seek for her, I am not going to lose my character by associating with such-”

(Hush, thrice virtuous Selina. Would that his Grace of Exeter could have heard so bright an example of female morality.)

"Here we are, Phædra. What's the row?" "My dear Hippolyta, will you never divest yourself of such phraseology? You must have acquired it from Hercules, when you were the little girl whose great delight was to ride on his club."

"Has the courier returned?"

"

"Yes, and it appears that she has been exTwo officers of the archons entered, and posed to insult, which compelled her to use informed the trio that they were prisoners. slightly forcible measures in return. I am Demetrius tossed one of the myrmidons ashamed to tell you what happenedthrough the window, and Lysander threw the "Did Theseus venture to repeatother down upon Nedar with such force, as "For shame, Egle-I wonder you can to bring both to the ground. A guard enter-mention him. Do you think there are no ed, resistance would have been madness. men but Theseus in Athens. But I wanted Theseus, Lysander, and Demetrius, were to tell you that the reply to our demand for taken off to the gaol. As they entered at the the wretch and his friends is, that the Athengate a slave requested to speak to the latter. ians will consider of it." "Nedar wishes you all happiness; says that the second bad omen is worked out, and inquires whether you have any message for his daughter."

"Tell him to go to the devil."

CHAPTER II.

"A new foundation, sir, of ladies, with Most masculine authority."

THE SILENT WOMAN.

"We march upon Athens to-night."
"We will wait another day."
"You were always a dawdler."
"No, I was not."

"But you were, and that was just what Theseus said of you."

"How you talk of the creature."
"And pray what is our expedition for?”
"What an-who is there?"

Selina begged to inform her majesty that
Martine was without. Her majesty directed
Martine's admission.

"Good day to your majesty, and to you, Queen Phædra reclined upon a couch, Hippolyta, and you, Egle. You need not which, though rude in workmanship, mani- look so downcast, my love, as you have luckfested an attempt at luxury in the disposition ily escaped the great moral error of impruof the beautiful skins with which it was cov-dent relationships-the increasing the popuered, all the produce of the hunting of dis- lation. I have just been visiting one not so tinguished courtiers, it being then regarded happy, I mean Elucina, and have been exas honorable to supply an ermine robe to the postulating with her on the folly she has