She, that cries herbs, has lefs impertinence;
And, in her calling, more of common fenfe.
None, none defcends into himself, to find
The fecret imperfections of his mind:
But ev'ry one is eagle-ey'd, to fee
Another's faults, and his deformity.

Say, doft thou know Vectidius? Who, the wretch
Whose lands beyond the Sabines largely stretch
Cover the country, that a failing kite
Can scarce o'er fly 'em, in a day and night;
Him doft thou mean, who, fpight of all his store,
Is ever craving, and will still be poor?
Who cheats for half-pence, and who doffs his coat,
To save a farthing in a ferry-boat?

Ever a glutton, at another's cost,
But in whofe kitchen dwells perpetual froft?
Who eats and drinks with his domeftic flaves;
A verier hind than any of his knaves?
Born with the curfe and anger of the Gods,
And that indulgent genius he defrauds ?
At harvest-home, and on the fheering-day,
When he should thanks to Pan and Pales
And better Ceres; trembling to approach
The little barrel, which he fears to broach:
He 'fays the wimble, often draws it back,
And deals to thirfty fervants but a fmack.

pay,

To a short meal he makes a tedious grace,
Before the barley-pudding comes in place:
Then, bids fall on; himself, for faving charges,
A peel'd flic'd onion eats, and tipples verjuice.
Thus fares the drudge: but thou, whofe life's
a dream

Of lazy pleasures, tak'ft a worfe extream.
'Tis all thy bus'ness, bus'ness how to shun;
To bask thy naked body in the fun;
Suppling thy stiffen'd joints with fragrant oil:
Then, in thy fpacious garden, walk a while,
To fuck the moisture up, and soak it in :
And this, thou think'ft, but vainly think'st, unfeen.
But, know, thou art obferv'd: and there are those
Who, if they durft, would all thy fecret fins expose.
The depilation of thy modeft part:

Thy catamite, the darling of thy heart,
His engine-hand, and ev'ry lewder art.
When prone to bear, and patient to receive,
Thou tak'ft the pleasure, which thou can'st not give.
With odorous oil thy head and hair are sleek
And then thou kemb'st the tuzzes on thy cheek;
Of these thy barbers take a coftly care,
While thy falt tail is overgrown with hair.
Not all thy pincers, nor unmanly arts,
Can finooth the roughness of thy fhameful parts.

Not five, the strongest that the Circus breeds, From the rank foil can root those wicked weeds: Tho fuppled first with soap, to ease thy pain, The stubborn fern fprings up, and sprouts again.

Thus others we with defamations wound, While they ftab us; and fo the jeft goes round. Vain are thy hopes, to 'fcape cenforious eyes; Truth will appear through all the thin disguise : Thou haft an ulcer which no leach can heal, Tho thy broad shoulder-belt the wound conceal. Say thou art found and hale in ev'ry part, We know, we know thee rotten at thy heart. We know thee fullen, impotent, and proud: Nor can't thou cheat thy nerve, who cheat'ft the croud.

But when they praise me, in the neighbourhood. When the pleas'd people take me for a God, Shall I refufe their incenfe? Not receive The loud applaufes which the vulgar give? If thou doft wealth, with longing eyes, behold; And, greedily, art gaping after gold; If fome alluring girl, in gliding by, Shall tip the wink, with a lascivious eye, And thou with a confenting glance, reply; If thou, thy own folicitor become,

}

And bid'ft arife the lumpish pendulum :

If thy lewd luft provokes an empty storm,
And prompts to more than nature can perform;
If, with thy guards, thou scour'st the streets by
night,

And doft in murthers, rapes, and fpoils delight;
Please not thyself, the flatt'ring crowd to hear;
'Tis fulfome stuff to feed thy itching ear.
Reject the nauseous praises of the times :
Give thy base poets back thy cobbled rhimes :
Survey thy foul, not what thou do'st appear,
But what thou art; and find the beggar there.

THE

FIFTH SATIRE

OF

PER SIU S.

THE ARGUMENT.

The judicious Cafaubon, in his proem to this fatire, tells us, that Ariftophanes the grammarian being asked, what poem of Archilochus his Iambics be preferred before the reft; answered, the longest. His answer may justly be applied to this fifth fatire; which, being of a greater length than any of the reft, is alfo, by far, the most inftructive : for this reafon Ihave felected it from all the others, and inscribed it to my learned mafter, Dr. Busby; to which I am not only obliged myself for the best part of my own education, and that of my two fons; but have also received from him the first and truest taste of Perfius. May he be pleased to find in this tranflation, the gratitude, or at least fome Small acknowledgment of his unworthy fcholar, at the