In answer to the Gentleman, who tempers his health by ounces and by fcruples, and instead of complying with those natural follicitations of hunger and thirst, drowsiness or love of exercise, governs himself by the prescriptions of his Chair, I shall tell him a fhort fable. Jupiter, fays the Mythologist, to reward the piety of a certain countryman, promised to give him whatever he would ask, The countryman defired that he might have the management of the weather in his own eftate: He obtained his request, and immediately distributed rain, fnow, and sunshine among his several fields, as he thought the nature of the foil required. At the end of the year, when he expected to fee a more than ordinary crop, his harvest fell infinitely fhort of that of his neighbours: Upon which (fays the fable) he defired Jupiter to take the weather again into his own hands, or that otherwise he should utterly ruine himself, Pallida mors æquo pulsat pede pauperum tabernas Vita fumma brevis fpem nos vetat inchoare longam: Et domus exilis Plutonia------- W Hor. HEN I am in a ferious humour, I very often walk by my self in Westminster Abby; where the gloominefs of the place, and the use to which it is applied, with the folemnity of the building, and the condition of the people who lye in it, are apt to fill the mind with a kind of melancholy, or rather thoughtfulness, that is not difagreeable. I yesterday paffed a whole afternoon in the Church-yard, the Cloysters, and the Church, amusing my felf with the Tombstones and Infcriptions that I met with in those several regions of the dead. Most of them recorded nothing else of the buried perfon, but that he was born upon one day, and died upon another: The whole history of his life being Nnn 2 compre comprehended in those two circumstances, that are common to all mankind. I could not but look upon these Registers of existence, whether of Brafs or Marble, as a kind of Satyr upon the departed perfons; who had left no other memorial of them, but that they were born and that they died. They put me in mind of several perfons mentioned in the battels of Heroic Poems, who have founding names given them, for no other reason but that they may be killed, and are celebrated for nothing but being knocked on the head. Γλαῦκόν τε Μέδονά τε Θερσίλοχον τε. Glaucumque, Medontaque, Therfilochumque. Hom. Virg. The life of these men is finely defcribed in Holy Writ by the Path of an Arrow, which is immediately closed up and loft. Upon my going into the Church, I entertained my felf with the digging of a grave; and faw in every fhovel-full of it that was thrown up, the fragment of a bone or skull intermixt with a kind of fresh mouldering earth, that fome time or other had a place in the compofition of an humane body. Upon this, I began to confider with my felf what innumerable multitudes of people lay confused together under the pavement of that ancient Cathedral; how Men and Women, Friends and Enemies, Priests and Soldiers, Monks and Prebendaries, were crumbled amongst one another, and blended together in the fame common mafs; how beauty, ftrength, and youth, with old-age, weakness and deformity, lay undistinguished in the fame promifcuous heap of matter. After having thus furveyed this great Magazine of Mortality, as it were, in the lump; I examined it more particularly by the accounts which I found on feveral of the Monuments which are raised in every quarter of that ancient fabrick. Some of them were covered with fuch extravagant Epitaphs, that, if it were poffible for the dead person to be acquainted with them, he would blush at the praises which his friends have beftowed upon him. There are others fo exceflively modeft, that they deliver the character of the perfon departed in Greek or Hebrew, and by that means are not underflood once in a twelvemonth. In the poetical quarter, I found there were Poets who had no Monuments, and Monuments which had no Poets. I observed indeed that the present War had filled the Church with many of these uninhabited monuments, which had been erected to the memory of perfons whose bodies were perhaps buried in the plains of Blenheim, or in the bofom of the Ocean. I could not but be very much delighted with feveral modern Epitaphs, which are written with great elegance of expreffion and juftness of thought, and therefore do honour to the living as well as to the dead. As a Foreigner is very apt to conceive an idea of the ignorance or politeness of a Nation, from the turn of their publick monuments and inscriptions, they should be fubmitted to the perufal of men of learning and genius, before they are put in execution. Sir Cloudefly Shovel's monument has very often given me great offence: Instead of the brave rough English Admiral, which was the diftinguishing character of that plain gallant man, he is reprefented on his Tomb by the figure of a Beau, dreffed in a long Perriwig, and repofing himself upon Velvet Cushions under a Canopy of State. The Infcription is answerable to the Monument; for instead of celebrating the many remarkable actions he had performed in the fervice of his country, it acquaints us only with the manner of his death, in which it was impoffible for him to reap any honour. The Dutch, whom we are apt to defpife for want of genius, fhew an infinitely greater taste of antiquity and politenefs in their buildings and works of this nature, than what we meet with in those of our own country. The monuments of their Admirals, which have been erected at the publick expence, represent them like themfelves; and are adorned with roAtral crowns and naval ornaments, with beautiful feftoons of fea-weed, fhells, and coral. But to return to our fubject. I have left the repofitory of our Englih Kings for the contemplation of another day, when I fhall find my mind disposed for fo ferious an amufement. I know that entertainments of this nature are apt to raise dark and dismal thoughts in timorous minds, and gloomy imaginations; but for my own part, though I am always ferious, I do not know what it is to be melancholy; and can therefore take a view of Nature in her deep and folemn fcenes, with the fame pleasure as in her most gay and delightful ones. By this means I can improve my felf with those objects, which others confider with terror. When I look upon the tombs of the Great, every emotion of envy dies in me; when I read the epitaphs of the Beautiful, every inordinate defire goes out; when I meet with the grief of Parents upon a tomb-ftone, my heart melts with compaffion; when I fee the tomb of the Parents themselves, I confider the vanity of grieving for those whom we must quickly follow: When I fee Kings lying by those who depofed them, when I confider rival wits placed fide by fide, or the holy men that divided the world with their contests and difputes, I reflect with forrow and aftonish aftonishment on the little competitions, factions and debates of mankind. When I read the feveral dates of the tombs, of fome that died yefterday, and some fix hundred years ago, I confider that great day when we fball all of us be contemporaries, and make our appearance together. N° 28. Monday, April 2. -Neque femper arcum Hor. Shall here prefent my reader with a Letter from a Projector, con Icerning a new Office which he thinks may very much contribute to the embellishment of the City, and to the driving barbarity out of our ftreets. I confider it as a Satyr upon Projectors in general, and a lively picture of the whole art of modern Criticism. SIR, OF Bserving that you have thoughts of creating certain Officers "under you, for the infpection of feveral petty enormities "which you your felf cannot attend to; and finding daily abfurdities hung out upon the fign-pofts of this city, to the great fcandal of foreigners, as well as thofe of our own country, who are curious fpecta"tors of the fame: I do humbly propofe, that you would be pleased to make me your Superintendent of all fuch figures and devices as are ❝or fhall be made use of on this occafion; with full powers to rectifie or "expunge whatever I fhall find irregular or defective. For want of fuch "an Officer, there is nothing like found literature and good fenfe to be met "with in those objects, that are every where thrusting themselves out to "the eye, and endeavouring to become vifible. Our streets are filled "with blue Boars, black Swans, and red Lions; not to mention flying Pigs, and Hogs in armour, with many other creatures more extraor3 dinary than any in the defarts of Africk. Strange! that one who has "all "all the birds and beasts in nature to chufe out of, should live at the Sign "of an Ens Rationis! My first task therefore should be, like that of Hercules, to clear the "city from Monsters. In the fecond place I would forbid, that creatures "of jarring and incongruous natures. fhould be joined together in the "fame fign; fuch as the Bell and the Neats-tongue, the Dog and Gridi"ron. The Fox and Goofe may be fuppofed to have met; but what "has the Fox and the seven Stars to do together? And when did the Lamb "and Dolphin ever meet, except upon a sign-poft? As for the Cat and "Fiddle, there is a conceit in it; and therefore I do not intend that any "thing I have here faid should affect it. I muft however obferve to you 66 upon this fubject, that it is ufual for a young Tradesman, at his first "fetting up, to add to his Sign that of the Mafter whom he ferved; as "the Husband after marriage, gives a place to his Mistress's Arms in his "own Coat. This I take to have given rife to many of thofe abfurdities " which are committed over our heads; and, as I am informed, firft oc"cafioned the three Nuns and a Hare, which we fee fo frequently joined "together. I would therefore establish certain rules, for the determi "ning how far one Tradesman may give the Sign of another, and in what "cafes he may be allowed to quarter it with his own. "In the third place, I would enjoin every Shop to make use of a Sign " which bears fome affinity to the Wares in which it deals. What can "be more inconsistent, than to fee a Bawd at the fign of the Angel, or « "Taylor at the Lion? A Cook fhould not live at the Boot, nor a Shoe"maker at the roafted Pig; and yet, for want of this regulation, I have "seen a Goat set up before the door of a Perfumer, and the French "King's head at a Sword-cutler's. "An ingenious foreigner obferves, that feveral of thofe Gentlemen "who value themselves upon their families, and overlook fuch as are bred "to trade, bear the tools of their forefathers in their Coats of Arms. I << will not examine how true this is in fact: But though it may not be "neceffary for pofterity thus to fet up the fign of their forefathers; I "think it highly proper for those who actually profefs the trade, to shew "fome fuch marks of it before their doors. "When the Name gives an occafion for an ingenious Sign-poft, I would "likewise advise the owner to take that opportunity of letting the world "know who he is. It would have been ridiculous for the ingenious "Mrs. Salmon to have lived at the fign of the Trout; for which reafon "fhe has erected before her house the figure of the fish that is her name “fake. |
